Dungeons Just Want to Have Fun

The next morning, they started work on Zaphar’s disguise. Anton was a little surprised that Kelsey didn’t just use her own resources, but she had her reasons.

“We want him to look like a local,” she explained, “and I don’t know if local fashions here are the same as Rused. Plus we need someone to fix his hair.”

“Fix? What needs fixing?” Zaphar asked.

“I’m not sure… well, apart from everything,” Kelsey told him. “Everywhere does hair differently, so we’ll need an expert local to make sure you fit in.”

“Does hair?” Zaphar wondered. “I’ve always just cut it with a dagger when it got too long.”

“I didn’t want to say anything, but that has been painfully obvious since I first met you,” Kelsey said. Zaphar shut up after that.

Anton wasn’t entirely sure it wasn’t all just an excuse for another shopping trip. As she’d done before, Kelsey roved through the market, alert for any kind of unusual merchandise. She tweaked her own disguise, purchasing a shawl for additional concealment and a sash to go around her waist. She also picked up a string of beads for no apparent reason other than she liked the look of it.

Anton tried not to stare too hard at the sight of the non-human races that lived in the town. Due to its proximity to the great plains of Elitra, Denasti was home to large populations of Grasswhisperers and Plainsrunners. Anton had seen the vivid green hair of a Grasswhisperer in Rused, but this was his first time seeing a Plainsrunner, and he had to work hard not to stare.

It was his first time seeing an intelligent being with four legs. Anton watched out of the corner of his eye as a small pack (or herd?) of them trotted down the street, their horns jutting up above the crowd. Like the humans of the Plains, they had been conquered and folded into the Elitran empire, but unlike the humans, they hadn’t worked their way into the inner sanctums of power.

Somewhere in all of this, they managed to see to Zaphar’s makeover. Washing had been taken care of back at the inn, but now he was properly shaved and his skin anointed with properly masculine oils and scents.

Aris had pronounced them ‘stinky’ which had put paid to any thought of Anton following the local customs.

Zaphar’s hair had been professionally, or at least expensively cut, and was now curled into little ringlets, held in place by some concoction that Kelsey was weirdly happy to call ‘product’.

They had also made some modifications to Anton’s outfit. After asking around, Kelsey managed to find a place that was selling higher Tier armour, and Anton selected a pair of linen pants. They swished loosely around his legs distractingly, but they were Tier Three, giving him more protection than the heavier leather pants. They talked about strapping on some metal plates, but since getting Stoneskin, Anton hadn’t felt the need for heavier armour. Mobility and speed were the touchstones of his fighting style, he didn’t want anything that would slow him down.

“Shouldn’t we get you a Tier Three sword as well?” Aris asked.

“I’m fine with Dad’s old sword,” Anton demurred.

“Yeah, that’s for the best,” Kelsey agreed. “Armour and equipment you can just buy off the rack, but a hero’s sword needs to be more personal.”

Anton gave Kelsey a wary look. “You’re not wrong. I do want to keep using Dad’s sword for personal reasons… but it sounds like you mean something else.”

Kelsey shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong, we’ll upgrade you eventually. But it’ll be like Chainbreaker was, taken off of your enemies, or inherited from a mentor or something.”

“Captain Oldaw wasn’t really my enemy though,” Anton pointed out. “I fought two nobles that day, and he wasn’t one of them.”

“Yeah, I’d say that was why it didn’t stick,” Kelsey agreed. “I tried to make it a bit more thematic, but I couldn’t change the enchantments so there was only so much I could do.”

“Are you mad that I gave it away?” Anton asked curiously. “It got us away from that ship, and got us to here.”

“Eh, we could have gotten out of that some other way,” Kelsey waved dismissively. “I’m not mad, exactly, I’m just a little miffed that I didn’t get the sword right.”

“I’m hearing it too now,” Aris put in. “What does ‘getting it right’ mean?”

Kelsey looked at the pair of them, and then glanced over at Zaphar. She sighed, a slow hiss of escaping air.

“Eahggghh… I’m not really ready for this. There are rules, you see.”

“What sort of rules?” Aris asked.

“Oh, there are lots. You know a lot of them already, the ones that apply to, well, mortals. You can’t fly, you have to eat, you die. How you get traits and so on.”

“I heard that Skytenders can fly,” Anton interrupted. “They live further east, but I was hoping to see one…”

Kelsey glared at him. “The mortal rules aren’t the point,” she said. “The point is the immortal rules.”

“Anton’s not immortal, so I still don’t see what it has to do with us,” Aris said. “For that matter, as worried as you are about dying, I’m not sure that you should be using the word for yourself.”

“I don’t age, so it sort of works,” Kelsey said mildly. “And as for Anton… some of the laws that apply to… higher beings also apply or interact with heroes.”

Aris looked at Kelsey suspiciously. “What… sort of laws?” she asked slowly.

Kelsey shrugged. “I dunno.” She held up her hands in the face of the pair's instant protest. “Not all of it, not enough of it. And what I do know, I’m not prepared to say.”

She glanced over at Zephar. “You never know who’s listening, you know?”

Zaphar frowned. “You’re keeping secrets from my… er.. patron?” he asked.

Kelsey snorted. “I don’t know if you were paying attention to that conversation on the boat, but both of us were trying to imply a lot without saying a damn thing. Neither of us trusts the other worth a damn.”

“But you’ll still work with him,” Anton said.

“Well, sure. I’m pretty sure our interests are aligned. As long as he feels the same way, we can work together.”

“But you don’t want him to know what your interests are, because they might… clash.” Zaphar mused.

“Yeah. Of course, your nameless patron is the least of my worries. I’m much more worried about who else might be listening in.”

“Other Fae?” Anton guessed, “Demons?”

“Sure, but that’s not who I was talking about,” Kelsey said. “For now, let’s get back to shopping.”

Aris was the final one to receive a makeover. Kelsey was reluctant to compromise or modify Aris's “look”, for reasons she was unwilling to explain. But they managed to find a lighter long coat that was more suitable for the warmer weather and matched whatever arcane requirements that Kelsey was working under.

Eventually, she declared they were ready. Or at least that Zaphar was.

“I’m to go—to go in there on my own?” he exclaimed.

“You’re just buying a slave,” Kelsey told him. “Not even that, you’re just looking. There’s no reason to send a whole party in for that.”

“Just one of you could come? You could come?” he asked.

Kelsey shook her head. “If I go, then Anton has to go, and if either Anton and Aris are there, the presence of some armed Zamarrans might raise their suspicions.” She looked over at the two of them. “You don’t look very much like slaves,” she said.

“Thanks,” Aris said cooly.

“Actually,” Anton said. “Since I got my Unwavering trait, I’ve been managing the geas a lot better. I bet I could handle staying out here while you went in inside.”

“Really,” Kelsey said, her face expressionless. She gave him a long look without saying anything. Then her face cleared. “That’s great! We’ll have to test it in a bit.”

She turned back to Zaphar. “You’re still going in alone.”

“But why?” he wailed.

“Aside from the fact I don’t want an armed Zamarran reaching his limit and running in after me; if you go in alone, you’ll get more experience.”

“Experience? This isn’t a break-in.”

“And you’re not a Burglar any more. I’ll bet a gold coin to your copper that you’ll get experience from this.”

Zaphar looked at her pleadingly, but Kelsey was unyielding.

“Fine,” he said. Collecting himself, he stood up straight in a passable impression of a rich man’s demeanour and marched off towards the shop.

Finding it had not been a problem. They’d been able to get directions, and there was a sign on the front door. Slave traders needed business after all.

Kelsey watched Zaphar disappear into the shop.

“So, Unwavering, huh?” she said.

“Are you angry?” Anton asked.

“Hmm, no,” she replied. “I mean it’s a little hurtful that you want to spend some time apart after all we’ve been through, but I get it. And it’s better if we can split up from time to time.”

“It doesn’t… entirely negate the geas, from what I’ve felt,” Anton said.

“It wouldn’t,” Kelsey agreed. “We’ll test it later… the important thing is that you stick around, not that we’re in each other’s pockets all the time. Just—” she stopped herself.

“Just what?” Anton asked.

“Just— remember when I said that the geas was managed?”

“I never heard that,” Aris said. “Managed by who?”

“Dunno,” Kelsey replied, “But I also told you that it used fear because that was the most effective method, for you?”

“Yeah, you— wait.” Anton felt a chill come over him. “You mean that if it becomes less effective, it will change?”

“I can’t say for sure,” Kelsey said “I’ve never had it happen. But that’s what I think.”

“I guess there’s no getting away from you then,” Anton said. He tried to inject some despair into his tone, but Kelsey wasn’t fooled.

“Best buddies forever!” she said, lightly punching him in the arm.

They had to wait a little longer for Zaphar to come back out and make his way over to them.

“I didn’t see any of them,” he said. “There’s a big auction in two days and the new arrivals are being prepared for that.”

“Prepared how?” Aris asked anxiously.

“Uh… teaching Elitran and… and advancing in their class,” Zaphar replied.

“What class do slaves have?” Aris asked.

Anton frowned. He’d never considered the question. There was at least one slave class wasn’t there?

“Uh, everyone at the auction will either be Doxy or Concubine,” Zaphar said. “There are some Courtesans in the place, but none of the new ones have… been around… long…” he trailed off, looking at Aris’s face. “Sorry,” he added.

Anton put his arms around her and she buried her face in his chest.

“They wouldn’t… she’s my little sister. She’s too young…”

Kelsey took a step closer and laid a comforting hand on the young girl’s shoulder. “The world is a terrible place, Aris,” she said. “Let’s burn it all down to the ground.”

In the moment, Anton could only agree. He kept his mouth shut, though, because Kelsey didn’t need any encouragement to produce wide-scale devastation.

“Two days then,” Kelsey said briskly. “We’ll send you in tonight, get a look at the place.”

Zaphar nodded. “Their security is good,” he said. “I doubt I’ll get inside any of the buildings, but I should be able to find out where they’re keeping the captives.”

“Next order of business is securing our escape route,” Kelsey said, “Except for— did you get experience for going in?”

“I did actually— why are you holding out your hand?”

“We made a bet, didn’t we? You owe me a copper!”

“I never actually agreed to that bet, wasn’t it just a figure of speech?”

“A welcher, eh?” Kelsey poked her open palm at him aggressively. “Don’t you know, in the criminal underworld, there’s no one more despised than someone who doesn’t pay his debts?”

“Fine, fine,” Zaphar said, reaching into his money pouch for a coin. “You are made of money, why would you care about a single copper?”

“It’s not the money that’s important,” Kelsey said. She took the coin and held it in front of her face, flipping it over so that she could see both sides.

“This is about me being right.”

Giving the coin a long final look, she made it disappear.

“Come on guys,” she said. “We’ve got a lot to do before we can rescue Cheia.”