ALL NOVEL She’s Just Kind Of Lonely – Chapter 95
Ally flies over and lands on Moota’s shoulder, then pats her head. “That must have been tough. To be singled out as some chosen one might seem nice from the outside but in reality it is only a lonely mess.”
Moota starts to tear up, “I was so lonely! Even before they figured out what was special about me they took me away from my mom and the rest of the herd to study me. Do you know how traumatic that is? All my instincts scream at me to be in a herd! Me being a part of this godly coalition is the closest I’ve ever been to feeling comfortable. But you know what? I would really just prefer to be with other cows.”
Doyle nods, “Being around others like yourself can be an amazing thing. Though from personal experience there can be too much of a good thing. But that isn’t important. Why don’t you hang out with other cow gods?”
Moota sighs, “I’m a bit of an odd one out. Most beast gods are worshiped by beasts or are the personal beasts of a god. Since I became a god because of human worshipers I’m not trusted by the self-made beast gods. And because I’m not owned by another god, the domestic beast gods don’t accept me either. I only barely joined this coalition as it is, and even then they don’t count me as one of them. After all, I’m not an alchemist, it is just that my milk becomes imbued with the essence of what I eat.”
Doyle frowns, “You can’t exactly help that. Have you tried having a mortal herd of cows to hang out with?”
Moota shakes her head, “My coalition has rules against being among mortals and besides that they don’t want me seen hanging out with normal animals. If I had an afterlife of my own, I could probably swing something, but I don’t. Though who am I kidding? To get cows I would need to have cows that worship me in the first place and if I had that I wouldn’t be in this situation.”
Doyle smiles, “I might be able to help you with that. Though I would have to know how you get a cow to worship you. If they need to be sapient, it might take a while.”
Moota doesn’t look up but answers that, “No, they don’t have to be sapient. Not even a percent of a percent of the wild beast gods would exist if it required that. Of course, sapient beasts provide more faith and they more easily spread the religion. It isn’t needed though. As long as they are a similar enough species all it takes is someone preaching at them.”
“Though they don’t provide all that much faith. In fact, even if they worship me and I had an afterlife, they wouldn’t show up there. What with not having a soul. The only reason a beast can worship a god in the first place is because of the potential to become sapient. That’s also the reason they have to be of a similar species. Without being closely related, a beast god can’t tap into that potential to gain faith.”
Doyle nods, “Do the normal animals get any benefit for worshiping you?”
Moota shrugs, “It depends on the god what benefits an animal will get. With me personally? Cows that worship me produce more and healthier milk for longer. Bulls will be able to sniff out herbs that help them grow. And caffs have a growth correction as well as being less likely to catch diseases. If I was stronger, there would be more passive stuff and I could provide actual active abilities to any sapient magic using worshipers.”
Doyle snaps his fingers, “That shouldn’t be too hard to spread then. Any farmer would gladly spread a religion like that to their cattle.”
Moota rolls her eyes, “As if they would bother with me. Most will worship some sort of farming or herding based god. And while the cows can’t worship that god, the provided blessing will prevent the spread of a beast god’s religion. And I don’t blame them for that. After all, an animal that worships a beast god will be much more likely to evolve into a new species or develop sentience. It only makes sense for a god based around a steady status quo of farming to not want fire breathing cows popping up. Only loyal animals like dogs get around this. If only because a supernaturally powerful dog will do their job even better.”
Doyle rubs the back of his neck, “I can see why that would be the case. Still, I think we can swing it here. The world I am attached to has only just been integrated. That means the religious landscape is more open and before we integrated, there weren’t any mainstream farming gods being worshiped.”
Moota looks up and frowns, “Farming gods are one of the most common, right next to war gods. Even after a culture advances they tend not to be dropped.”
Doyle shrugs, “At the end there the world ended up being populated by a set of religions that all claimed their god was the one true god.”
Moota spits in disgust, “Those fools. Yeah, that would do it. Still, your world is decent so the gods should be fighting over it.”
Doyle rolls his eyes, “Trust in gods was at an all-time low in the last few years. While I am sure people will jump in on worship when they are getting actual benefits. However, the settlement right outside my dungeon won’t be one of them. They have an independent streak and won’t be putting their faith in some mysterious outside power.”
Moota tilts her head to the side, “If they aren’t going to trust in the gods, how would you get them to spread my religion to their cows? Beyond that, they lack cows. Plus, there is the matter of evolution and sapience. Won’t they drop it once they get told about that?”
Doyle chuckles at her worries, “They won’t have someone come by and surprise them with this info.”
Moota and Ally frown at this, but he holds up a hand and explains, “It won’t be a surprise because they will know about it from the start. I understand why most people would be against such dangerous outcomes. Like was said, who wants a fire breathing cow?”
“Well, the answer to that is the people in that settlement. Specifically, there is a married couple out there that are into experiments and a ranger type fellow who knows how to handle the odder beasts. Now I assume that the farmers you talked about were the ones trying to raise many cattle?”
Moota nods at this and Doyle continues, “Well, I can’t promise many cattle like those farmers. But that is why I can promise they will accept you. The settlement might never own hundreds of cows, but I can see them trying for sapient cows. They are special like that. Though of course I can’t promise anything specific, but I have a plan to make it work.”
Ally crosses her arms, “What trick are you playing at? You better not be stringing her along!”
Doyle shakes his head, “Don’t worry, let me explain what I want to do. Now Moota, you are a cow goddess so should be able to control and move around normal cows?”
Moota nods to this as well, which causes Doyle to smile. “I assume you aren’t allowed to do this willy nilly by the coalition. Likely a rule put in place to prevent you and others like you from gathering animal followers. There is a catch in that, though. They sent you out here to get my promise No Matter What. Whoever sent you probably even said something about breaking the rules if needed?”
“I can see it on your face, they did. So as long as moving some free range cattle to the settlement is part of the deal we make, there won’t be a problem. Though that is just the beginning. I’m passively keeping the fact I am an awakened dungeon secret from the settlement out there. Now I am sure they have guessed at it already, but we are running on an unspoken agreement to not rock the boat.”
“Anyway, with you I can pass on some stuff without them having anything about me being directly proven. Of course I can’t have you spreading this info. So a part of our deal will be keeping everything about me and the deal, except that I swore not to destroy the vials a secret. From everyone and every god. Because I am sure they wouldn’t be too happy if they learned what you agreed to do for me.”
Moota looks down and thinks about what Doyle had just said. Not wanting to rush her, he waits off to the side. She takes her time but eventually decides. “I want to trust you on this. You seem to want to help me and I don’t know why.”
Doyle shrugs, “To be honest? I don’t quite understand it myself either. Despite not being the best at connecting with others, I like to help people. It doesn’t come up often, but here we are. Also, I suspect Ally wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t help you. Though don’t think this is for free. I’m still going to be getting everything I can out of our deal. You won’t just be providing cows for the settlement out there. Now to do this, I need to know what you have to deal with on your side.”
Moota sighs, “I was told very sternly to never reveal the rules I work under? Of course, that isn’t even a rule, so screw it. I guess to start I can just admit we didn’t know who you are. In fact, if you never destroy another vial and I don’t tell them where I ended up, they could never find you. They actually expected you to be some ancient alchemist trying to find the secrets to the vials through a more destructive means.”
“Now onto what they provided for me to bargain with. Since they assumed you were an alchemist they gave out a large variety of potions. Mostly basic ones, but so many variants of those basic potions that it is honestly crazy. No herbs though, they don’t want to provide a means to make more of the potions.”
“Of the higher tier potions? Yeah, not going to happen. They expect any alchemist to be super crazed for the variety. Alchemists who have started trying to take apart our vials and actually succeed in destroying one? They go crazy for low tier but odd potions. The ability to expand their foundation in the arts by examining potions made with different methods and ingredients is a powerful draw. Besides the potions, though? They left me hung out to dry. Sure, they promised to pay me back for anything I use. But I don’t trust them to reimburse me fully.”
Doyle nods, “So they provided the bare minimum and required you pay for anything more? I’m going to guess they trade on being gods to keep this all running. Any normal mortal having a god pop up to chastise them would probably be easy to convince. Now let’s put our heads together to figure out the best way to deal with this.”
“I have a few things I want to get, and I’m sure there are some things I can trade to you. I am a dungeon after all. Besides that, there are some more immaterial benefits we can both get out of this. You getting bovine worshipers is just one example of this.”
