Earth’s Doom Starts with… Me?

"Jean-jean! How did it go?" I waved my hand excitedly from my seat on our designated round table in the middle of the blacksmith when I saw the front door open, revealing two tired-looking generals.

I thought we were pretty late already, considering that it was already past noon, and the weather was starting to get more forgiving. But the moment we entered the blacksmith, we only spotted one general. A sneaky, white-haired one that was playing tic-tac-toe with a random orc.

"Not too good, Chae," Jeanne sighed as she walked closer towards us, "we only managed to steal a few robes." She said as she put a bundle of black cloth on top of the table.

"Steal? Where did you get these?" I took one and examined it out of curiosity. It was a plain, ragged black robe that had golden detailing on the hem of it. It was a bit too long for me to wear, but eh, whatever, I could just think of it like wearing an oversized shirt. Pretty cute.

"We had to be really careful and sneaky while doing this, because the situation in the village was pretty hectic." She sighed and shook her head.

"Hectic? Describe, please?" I tilted my head in confusion. Now that I thought about it, we--no, I hadn't been into the village's center or their rural housing area since we got back from taking the crest. It was pretty quiet over here on the industrial side, so I thought nothing major happened.

"There were guards stationed everywhere, the same ones with the uniform we saw in the orc's castle. Sometimes they checked random people, and even checking their belongings," she explained, "not only that, but they've been distributing flyers of 'wanted criminals'... Us."

"Here." General Emilio handed us a few crumpled flyers that had our... Uh... What the heck are these?

"... Are these us?" I said in the most monotonous voice ever when I saw the 'portraits'.

"A bit different, but yes." General Emilio nodded.

"What the heck." I frowned when I saw that our portraits were basically just smileys--angry smileys with hair of different colours. Hey, at least they gave me a little green ribbon for my ponytail. I actually didn't have a ribbon, though.

"Ahahhahahah! Little cub, you look like a boiled egg!" General Zhang burst out into laughter when he saw the flyers.

"Hey, you look like uncooked eggs!" I retaliated.

"They're claiming that we're a threat to the kingdom because we fooled them and took the crest for our own gain," general Emilio continued his explanation without paying any attention to us, "and they said that we might strike anytime, so all villagers must keep an eye out for suspicious people."

"Planting the seed of fear among his own people. Classic dictatorship." I huffed.

"That's why we were only able to get these, even with the time given. We're so sorry..." Jeanne looked down while closing her eyes.

"Ah, don't worry, Jean-jean. I'm pretty good at borrowing shirts. I'll get us some outfit later," I grinned wide, "for now, can I ask for more milk tea? I wanna try drinking it with ice~"

Jeanne looked up in slight surprise, before giving me a warm smile, "sure, Chae. I'll make some for all of us right now. Do you want to join me in the kitchen? We can start preparing for lunch, too, since we haven't eaten all day, have we?"

"Sounds nice. Let's see what we can whip up with the ingredients available." I nodded excitedly before we left to prepare some much-needed food.

Ever since last night, I and Jean-jean had started to call each other with nicknames if we felt like it. It secretly made my heart feel happy-happy warmsies. It was hard to describe, but if I had to describe it, perhaps it was similar to how spring felt like?

... Having friends sure was nice.

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"Okay, now observe as I get us some clothes with one simple step." I proudly exclaimed as we stopped in front of a small diner.

"We're going to get clothes here, big sis Chae?" Firiell asked with her big, doe eyes.

"Yes, exactly. But the only ones coming are me and Jeanne," I grinned wide, "the rest of you, wait outside, crouch beneath the window to eavesdrop or something, I don't know."

"Me?" She questioned.

"Yes. Ah, make sure to let your hair out a bit, so it's somewhat visible." I nodded.

After we had filled our stomach with some good food, we immediately prepared for tonight's act. I gave Firiell a small dagger from the armory earlier and a shiel that was big enough to shield her entire body if she crouched. She should be able to carry it easily using a strap on her back.

We didn't do much preparation aside from donning the black robe to hide our hair colour and eye colour, simply because there wasn't exactly anything we could prepare except for our mental state. So, after a swift prep, we immediately set out to look for an empty diner, one that was quite unpopular.

'Ding!'

"Welcome to our diner! What would you like to have today?"

I looked up and saw that the owner was a young, enthusiastic elf that was wiping some freshly-washed, wet cups. He seemed to be so happy hearing the 'ding' of the bell on top of the door, indicating that some customers had stopped by.

"Hello there. Good day." I spoke gently and gave him a sweet, sweet smile.

"Good day to you too, Miss! Are you new around here?" He returned my smile with an equally sweet one.

Ugh, he immediately recognized that I was not from here, annoying.

"No, sir. I just rarely go out of my home. I usually just help my mother with household stuff, especially cooking!" I exclaimed happily with the sweetest, bubbliest voice I could muster while I quickly grabbed both of his hands excitedly, "but today is my birthday! And I heard that this place has the best food around! So I'm very excited to finally try some food made by the best chef here!"

"A-ah... I'm not the best here, but... Thank you!" He blushed and looked away in embarrassment. Although he looked flustered, I could see that he was happy, seeing that he got an even wider grin on his pale face.

Great, now he wouldn't be focused on my identity. Misdirection for the win!

"Mother, what should we order today?" I looked back at Jeanne without letting go of my hands.

"Um... I'm fine with anything." She flinched a bit before answering. I guess she didn't expect me to suddenly ask her.

"You heard, that, chef! ... Um, if you don't mind, may I ask for your name?" I asked with a timid voice, while averting my eyes from him with slightly flushed cheeks.

"M-my name is Azkar," he answered nervously, "... What about yours, if I may ask?" He tilted his head slightly while shyly asking.

"You'll find out the next time I come back here, so wait for me eagerly, okay?" I winked at him playfully.

"Then, I'll be waiting for your return!" He chuckled happily with rosy cheeks.

... I forgot to think up a fake name. Oh well, at least I saved it by acting mysterious. Sometimes people liked some mystery and chasing.

"Are you alone here, Azkar?" I asked him.

"Oh, no no. I live with my parents here, but they're currently outside." He answered happily.

"When will they come back?" I tilted my head.

"Usually during the night. Hahaha!"

"Then, I can have you all for myself until night?" I asked again while averting my eyes timidly.

"Ah--! I... I guess..." His face flushed with embarrassment.

"That's wonderful! Now, what menu do you recommend, Azkar?" I gave him a pleasant smile while saying his name.

"Um, we have--"

I just smiled and nodded as he went on and on about their dishes, which I definitely didn't remember much except for the first dish he mentioned. In a situation like this, names and other specific, personal things should be remembered. After all, calling a person by their name, or saying a specific thing could make people feel closer.

"We'll have the egg fried rice, and whatever you think will suit my taste, Azkar." I winked at him again, making sure that he heard me saying his name.

"O-okay! Coming right up!" He flinched and blushed until his face was as red as a tomato, "d-do you want to eat here or would you like to take these home?"

"I'll take them home, thank you." I smiled, still not releasing his hands. He didn't seem to mind, too.

"Ah, I see... Okay," his shoulders slumped slightly, "would you like anything else?"

"Hmm, let me think," I grinned, "can I take you home?"

"W-what!?" He blushed even redder than before, which I didn't think he could, "I-I suppose so..." He looked down in embarrassment.

"Great! Can I also take your gloves home?" I beamed with happiness.

"My gloves? Eh? Um, sure?" He raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Thank you. And your shirt, please." I continued.

"Huh? Wha--"

"And your pants, also your hat. Sir, this is a robbery. Thank you for agreeing to cooperate with us," I grinned wide and immediately froze both of his hands, "oop, no screaming or we will wait here and kill your parents in front of you when they come back. We don't want that, do we?"

"Wh--"

"Shh. You agreed, right? Don't worry, we will only take a few pieces of clothing. Now, strip." I chuckled as I put a finger on his lips.

'Crackle!'

As his lips froze upon my touch, I could see his eyes getting wider and wider while his body trembled and his legs gave out. I crouched down until we were on the same eye level.

"If you dare speak a word about us..." I touched his face with my palm, stroking his cheeks while smiling.

"I will freeze your entire digestive tract from your mouth to your poopoo, and your entire family's too, until none of you could ever shit talk or shit again. Understand?"

"Nn-nggh!" He nodded profusely as tears started streaming down his face and his trembling got worse.

"Okay! Glad we have a mutual agreement!" I clapped my hands together in delight. Great, now, we had secured some outfit.