Chapter 129: Chae’s story (2)
"I don't really understand why you're so curious about me when you're the peculiar one here," I chuckled upon hearing his response, "well, you already know that I joined as early as when I was only 6 years old."
"Uh-huh. What brought you there?" He inquired, tilting his head ever so slightly.
"Hmm, it wasn't my decision. My country was in a very tense situation at that moment, and we were just basically waiting for something major to happen so one side could start a war," I smiled sadly as I remembered the young, innocent me, "so the army was especially active, and there were forced conscription and stuff."
"They conscripted kids? How foolish," general Zhang snickered, "don't they know that children are surprisingly… Pliable, but not in one way."
My eyes trailed down as I stared at a smirk that formed on the corner of his lips. I couldn't see his eyes from above, but even I could tell that it wasn't a happy smile, at all.
"No, they don't… Legally, at least," I sighed, "you know how dirty war—no, humans could be. War only brought out the worst in them."
General Zhang nodded, tickling my neck with his strands of hair.
"At that time, I knew nothing. I didn't have the slightest idea that my country's higher-ups were planning to strike the other country using backhanded methods," I continued while scoffing, "I haven't even learned the multiplication table yet, but I was already sold off by my parents to join their… Group, I suppose. Ah, do you know what a multiplication table is?"
"Of course I know, little cub. Sometimes I think something's wrong with your already wrong brain." He replied while pinching my cheek using his hand as he chuckled.
Ugh, annoying. But if teasing me was what it took for him to cope, then I shall endure… But it better not be for long.
"I was more concerned about your parents who sold you off. Why?" He questioned, and this time he slowly lifted his head and looked at me straight in the eye with his piercing, lonely gaze.
… Lonely?
Huh, why did I get that feeling when he stared at me?
"Because, why not? They had no reason at all to keep me," I chuckled ironically, "people throw away stuff that is no longer important to them, right? You should understand since you just throw away dirty clothing, you money-waster." I flicked his forehead.
"That part I understand. Parents, at the end of the day, are still humans. There's no guarantee that they won't see you as an object, just like some people do. How shitty," he chuckled while rubbing his forehead as the light in his eyes dimmed, "but I don't understand how they could go to such extent, selling you off to war."
"Hmm, you're curious about the weirdest stuff, I swear. Don't you wanna know what I did that made my parents hate me, instead?" I tilted my head in confusion. Weird. When I told my story to my fellow soldiers, every single one of them asked what happened, how could things turn out that way, and yada-yada. Well, it would be better for me not to explain the reason yet, though.
"Not really. Will it make a difference if I knew? You were still 6 years old. They probably hated you way before that for them to be able to make such a decision," he looked into my eyes with a chilling stare, "how can it be the child's fault when the child wasn't even able to remember what they ate for dinner last night?"
I gulped when I heard his answer. He said it with such certainty, as if it was already engraved into his soul. His piercing stare somehow felt like it wasn't targeted at me, but at himself. He was definitely looking at me, but it was as if he was seeing a reflection of himself in me.
"I know they're guilty, but sometimes… The situation also contributes a lot, you know? They might crack under pressure. After all, just like you said, they're also humans." I smiled bitterly at him.
"If they can't handle a child, then why bother bringing them into this world? I know that life fucks you up in every way possible, but I can't imagine a situation where a good parent would willingly do something to harm their children for their own benefit. Keyword, willingly. Not because they're pressured to do so." He scoffed while he brought his hands up to cover his eyes.
As I watched him hide his eyes, my hand instinctively reached out to grab his hand away from his face, gently.
"Me too," I smiled sadly as I clutched his big, rough hand tightly, "me too. No matter how hard I try to justify their actions, I never could. Until I reached the point where I just accepted that they made a mistake, simply because they were shitty people, and there was nothing I could've done to fix it."
He stared back at me with wide eyes, before grinning, "I envy your mental strength." He shook his head while sighing.
"No, it wasn't all because of my effort. I had, um… Someone… Who was always there for me," I hesitated and looked away, "that's why, uh… I managed to keep my sanity, I guess?"
"Still, a help won't mean much to someone who isn't willing to be helped, so in a way, that's also your credit," he said and tilted his head slightly, "rather, who was that someone?"
"Umm, I don't know how to say this, but I'm also not really sure about that," I scratched my head in confusion, "like, I know his name and face and stuff, but I don't know where he came from."
General Zhang waited for me to continue while nodding.
"In fact, I thought he wasn't real. Ahaha! There was a time when I thought he was my schizophrenic monster, or my imaginary friend, or some kind of demon. But there's no way my sleep paralysis monster can be that… Bright." I smiled solemnly, thinking about the time Eli kept my sanity in check. He truly was my sun. I couldn't have made it through all of that alone.
"You thought he wasn't real? So you've never met him?" General Zhang raised an eyebrow, seemingly confused by my statement.
"Ah, well… We meet regularly, almost every day, even. It's just…We don't really meet like, meet-meet? You know?" I chuckled as I struggled to explain my view.
"No, I don't understand. You always use weird phrasing." He pinched my cheek as he pouted.
"Ow, ow. I mean, like… Um… We didn't physically meet, you know? Like… Ah, I'm so gonna get called a freak for this, but we always meet in a dream." I sighed, accepting my inescapable fate of being laughed at for saying that. I mean, you wouldn't see a lot of adults clinging onto someone who appeared in their dreams when they were younger…
"I see. You said you thought he wasn't real, so have you confirmed that he's real now?" General Zhang asked, "hmm, did both of you separate?"
Eh?
I blinked a few times, looking into his face. Huh, he didn't find me weird? Uh… That was very much appreciated, coming from him. Probably he had seen weirder things in this magical world, I dunno.
"You don't have to answer if you don't want to," he said, taking my bruised hand into his as he started caring for my injuries, "but if you want to answer, don't worry. Nothing you can ever say will make me think badly of you."
"That's a big thing to say. You never know, I might betray you. Ow." I flinched when he applied some ointment on my stinging wound.
"Then, betray me." He casually replied as he continued applying the ointment with care, before looking for a bandage among the scattered instruments on the cart.
I gulped and watched him as he wrapped the bandages around my hand. Surprisingly, he did it well. It was much tidier than if I was to do it myself.
Then, my gaze went to his face. I watched his beautiful, long lashes dropping shadows over his bloody red eyes that appeared so forlorn. I wonder what happened that made him look so distant and so alone?
"You never know if I might one day," I spoke, answering him, "anyway, the person I mentioned is someone that you also know… Maybe. Or perhaps they just coincidentally have the exact same name and face and their backstory just happened to coincidentally line up so perfectly, I don't know anymore."
As I said that, my tone of voice got angrier by the second. Well, I wasn't exactly angry, but I sure was frustrated as fuck. I needed to know whether he was really the Eli I knew, the one I grew up with, just with amnesia and a complete 180 degrees flip of personality, or if I was actually schizophrenic.
"I know him?" General Zhang suddenly looked up, frowning," who is it? But you're not from here."
"Exactly. I didn't even know this world existed before. Now imagine me, someone who was living in a completely different world, hearing a random boy that often appeared in my dreams talking about monsters and magic. Isn't it normal for me to think I might've gone crazy? That I thought everything wasn't real?" I chuckled, "and yet, here I am. Using magic so carelessly that the strongest general had to patch my hands up."
I giggled and ruffled his hair using my other hand, "thanks for the bandage."
"When you put it that way… I see your point," he shook his head, "so, who's the person?"
"Em… What will you do once you know the person?" I questioned.
"Depends." He shrugged.
"How vague. Depends on what?" I pouted.
"Depends on whether you like him or not."
'Bonk!'
"Ugh, seriously!" I smacked his head as my face got red again. Geez, why would he ask that? There was no way I like Eli like that… Right? Right, I just missed him and wanted to know what the hecc happened to him. And how was his life now. And… Wait, why did I need to know, anyway? Ack!
"Sorry, sorry. But really, it depends." The white-haired man chuckled upon seeing my reaction.
"Ugh. I'll pluck your hair out and make you bald if you do that again," I glared at him, "well—"
I inhaled deeply, before saying,
"—it's Elias."