Eldritch May Cry

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

["Speech Through Technology"]

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…

If you ask for too much, more than you can handle, you explode.

"At least that's what my cousin told me. That's also the reason they call that God a newbie magnet because: newbies are always the ones exploding." The man sitting on my couch, still blindfolded, said it calmly as if it were common knowledge.

"Next question: What type of powers can you ask for?"

"Oh, that's the thing." The man grew a smile as he spoke. "You can ask for anything that can become an ability. No martial arts, but you can find ways to get past this. You can even take things from any media. My cousin has the ability to learn how to do martial arts from fictional media."

The possibility of loopholes actually exists. An ability that allows one to learn fictional martial arts?

"Does your cousin's ability only apply to himself, or can he write manuals to teach others?" I asked experimentally.

"He can definitely write down manuals and teach others. I tried to learn Goku's martial arts, but there is a speed minimum for certain ones that make it so not just anyone can learn them." He grew a prideful smile as he spoke, seemingly proud of his cousin's choice.

"Next question: who's the strongest out of every being on this planet?"

"The strongest?" The dark-skinned man cringed as he seemed to remember something. "They call him many things, and my cousin had told me about him first. He's stupidly fucking strong and capable of wiping out humanity with a thought. The ones that worship The One Who Chases All-Sight, as we do, claim him similar to Jesus.

He is the Alpha and Omega, a stupid title, but that's also what they call him. I've never seen him in person, but his human name is Vergil."

So Vergil did exist! And from what this guy is putting down, Vergil is even more broken than his Devil May Cry counterpart.

"So would you say they worship the very ground he walks on?" I said with seriousness.

"Worship? They practically dick-suck him to oblivion! Is a rogue god destroying everything? Call Vergil. Is a god of Cryptids breaking into reality? Call Vergil. He's just so strong that only the strongest beings get his attention." The man scoffed at the beginning but quickly turned serious as he spoke.

"Alright, next question: what is the most common type of supernatural creature?" I said as I looked at the now extra-talkative man.

"There really isn't a common type." He said as he tried to find the correct words. "There are a multitude of different species everywhere, and most of them try to find a specific spot to breed. If anything, the most dangerous creatures are the ones you find alone walking around."

I nodded my head at this, thinking about it. I had only seen different creatures up until now. Of course, I ran into the most dangerous type of creature—the ones that walk around instead of breeding to take over a territory.

"What would you say is the most dangerous creature closest by here?"

The dark-skinned man's entire demeanor changed. He was no longer in a semi-peaceful state, his blank facial expression turning into a frown.

"My cousin personally warned me about one that was close by. Its movements are tracked 24/7 by the majority of supernatural groups and given to all supernatural people." He paused for a second before cringing. "The Cartoon Cat. Something nobody wants to meet, but due to the way it makes lairs, Vergil won't take care of it. It's close by here. Its new lair is now in an abandoned mall."

The weight of those words was heavy. It was obvious in hindsight, as I had met with the Long Horse. Other creatures made by Trevor must be here.

But that cat is here? Close by? That was the worst news anyone could get. On the list, it's not an Outer God. Vergil won't kill it.

But it's strong enough to warrant having its location tracked 24/7 like it's an SCP. They even give you its location at all times for free; that should say how dangerous this thing is, even for people with powers.

"Any other big bads on the cat's level? It doesn't matter if they aren't close by; just give me names." My tone was serious as I spoke.

"I don't know a lot, as I didn't pay attention to everything, but I know the strongest ones. Most of the folk tale creatures exist but are country exclusives; they don't like moving countries much." The man on my couch made what I think was a thinking face before continuing. "In Japan, they are currently working on forever sealing a being known as Ryomen Sukuna. In Mexico, they are dealing with what they call El Diablo, supposedly a demon from the Bible.

Here in America, we have the Cartoon Cat, the Archangel Gabriel, who is actually Lucifer, Vergil, the priest of the Outer Gods, currently in the ocean, and more. That's all I know."

From all the information I heard, I was surprised by two of them. Firstly, Ryomen Sukuna, the King of Curses, and secondly, Archangel Gabriel, Lucifer?

'The Alternates exist? If that's the case, then the doppelgängers that attacked me should have been alternates, but why didn't they have intelligence?' My thoughts were swirling with this new information.

"Wait, you said Ryomen Sukuna, right?" Getting a nod from the man on my couch, I continued. "What happened to Yamata no Orochi?"

"Ryomen Sukuna killed it."

As those words sank in, I realized something. Jujutsu Kaisen didn't exist in this world.

If that's the truth, then anything that existed in my original world that doesn't exist now might be here instead of being in fictional media.

I didn't find Devil May Cry here, so that might be the case. I would have to check over a bunch more stories and media to make sure I don't get snuck by anything.

The King of Plot Armor is actually real now, and they're still trying to put him in a forever box.

"All these creatures are terrorizing the world, and you said Vergil isn't taking care of them?" I said as the beginnings of a plan began to form in my mind.

"Yeah, Vergil isn't taking care of them; I think the reason is because they're too weak. Remember when I said he only goes after the gods that try to destroy the world?

Even though the big hitters of this world may be impossible for us to deal with, Vergil is in another tier of his own. My cousin said most people think Vergil could have one-shot any of the creatures I just named, and he believes it too." The man relaxed on the couch as he spoke, treating my couch like it was his.

"Is that so?" I said and received a nod in return. "I think I want to meet your cousin; can you take me to him?"

"Yeah, I can, but you'll have to take this hoodie off me so I can lead you there. What do you want from him?"

"I want to talk to him about receiving a manual on a certain fighting style," I said as I walked over to the man on my couch. "I'll take off the hoodie when we get far enough away from here."

This guy was fully trusting me; it was actually on stupid levels. Making him stand up and beginning to lead him, I decided to ask him a question.

"Why do you trust that I won't end you?"

"In the supernatural, most people try not to step on each other's toes due to the randomness of abilities. It's usually like that, so nobody dies because two superbeings want to crash out. Losing even one super-powerful person is considered a loss, so there are soft rules. That's why I didn't attack you after you hit me.

You and I are both part of the supernatural. It would bring nothing to us if we fought. Our body isn't more valued than two normal people." The dark-skinned man said as I pushed him out the door of my home.

My plan? It's simple. I gotta fake it till I make it! Being the twin of a powerful individual is about to pay off big time!