Chapter 20: GETTING PERMISSION
HAEUN woke up to the sound of her alarm clock. After turning it off, she slowly sat up, yawning as she checked the time. It was six in the morning. She couldn't believe she had to wake up this early on a Saturday. With a sigh, she got up from the bed.
She had to go to school early because their fencing club had a practice match with another school's club. Normally, she wouldn't worry too much and would probably even procrastinate before leaving the house. But after her brother told her his plans of going to that public audition, something also ignited inside her.
Should she call it 'fighting spirit'?
The club coach had always praised her fencing skills, but she never really took it seriously. The coach often told her that she had the skills but lacked the drive. When she heard her brother express his determination to pursue his dreams from now on, she couldn't help but feel a bit inadequate in comparison to him. It made her want to also do her best in something. And the first thing that came to her mind was fencing.
After making her bed, Haeun left her room and descended the stairs. She headed straight to the kitchen/dining area, where her father was arranging the food on the table.
"Good morning, Dad," she greeted.
The other glanced in her direction and greeted her back. "You have a practice match today, right? Come on, let's eat. I'll drive you to school."
Haeun nodded and sat down in her usual seat. "But where's Mom and Oppa?"
"Have you forgotten? The audition is today. Mom accompanied your brother there."
Oh... right. That's today.
***
Eunji secretly took a quick glance at her son sitting on the passenger's seat. They were currently driving to Olympic Park. The venue for that... audition.
She returned her gaze to the road, still unable to believe that she had actually agreed to this. Well, at that time, if she hadn't agreed, it would have felt like she was being a bad mother.
She couldn't help but remember what happened a week ago, the exact moment she agreed to this.
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Eunji wiped away the tears streaking her son's cheeks. She was still a bit dazed after seeing Haneul cry. After all, the only memories she had of her son crying were from when he was a baby until he was two or three years old. So, seeing him cry now was like being struck by lightning. It was that shocking.
The emotions he was feeling must have been so overwhelming that the 'dam' in his heart just broke. Yes, dam. Because she knew he must have been keeping a lot of things in his heart. As his mother, she felt like she had failed because she wasn't able to assure him that it was alright to express all those emotions.
Now that Haneul had opened the lid of that 'dam' on his own, she and Hyunwoo should do their best so he wouldn't feel the need to close it again.
"Mom, Dad, there's actually something I've been meaning to tell you," Haneul said after a while.
"You can tell us anything," Hyunwoo said while gently patting their son's hand.
Despite the assurance, Haneul still seemed hesitant to tell them whatever it was that he wanted to say. "I- I'm afraid you would get angry if you hear it."
"There's no way that would be the case," Hyunwoo quickly said, before turning to Eunji. "Right, honey?"
Rather than agreeing immediately, Eunji gazed at her son and gently encouraged him, "Haneul-ah, if you don't try to speak and tell us what you're thinking, we will never know. So, I hope you can have the courage to speak your mind. We're your parents. Unless you committed a heinous crime, we will always be at your side."
Haneul bit his lower lip, still clearly hesitant. Then he took a deep breath, as if finally deciding on something. "I- I plan to participate in a public audition next week. It's an audition for an idol survival program."
Both Eunji and her husband wore the same dumbfounded expression when they heard what their son had just said. A public audition? For an idol survival program? Even though they understood each of the words, when they were all put together, why did it sound like some alien language?
Probably because they had never imagined that those words would have anything to do with Haneul. That's why it was even harder for them to comprehend what they just heard.
But Haneul must have interpreted their silence as rejection, because tears started to well in his eyes once again. He didn't say anything more and just lowered his head, looking absolutely dejected.
So, what else could she and Hyunwoo do at that moment?
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That's right. They agreed. And now, Eunji was driving her son to the venue of that public audition.