Falling into the Abyss

The blue liquid quickly penetrated Ethan’s blood vessels, and Tanisiel jerked the syringe up, leaving five drops of blood on his skin. For the first few minutes, Ethan didn’t feel any changes. However, the feeling of the calm before the storm made him nervous. To appease him, Tanisiel poured him a glass of red wine, and he gulped it all down without even looking at it.

The wine diffused an ambiguous heat in Ethan’s stomach and slightly relaxed his nerves. However, at this time, a sharp, stabbing pain spread out from the back of the neck, as though he was bitten by something. He groaned in pain and reached back reflexively. He felt something move under his skin, similar to a pulse, but it disappeared after beating once.

Then, the tingling began to spread down his spine before growing increasingly intense and  extending to his four limbs. At first, Ethan could resist the pain that felt like being pricked by a needle as thin as an ox hair, but as time went by, the pain did not abate and instead became more and more unbearable. He frowned deeply, and beads of sweat rolled down his forehead as he bit down his lips, his hands clinging to the fabric of the sofa underneath him. However, he was still unable to suppress the pain and let a painful groan escape from between his lips.

Tanisiel saw him close his eyes and tried to touch his shoulder, but just as his hand touched the other’s body, Ethan trembled and dodged his touch as though the place he felt had been burned. He let out an uncontrollable cry of pain from his throat and seemed to use all his strength to open his eyes and look at Tanisiel, struggling to say, “Don’t touch me……it hurts……”

Tanisiel was distressed to see him trying to remain calm. He said in a low voice, “Forces from before the birth of innumerable universes are fighting in your body. As long as you make it through, you will be fine.”

Ethan nodded reluctantly and curled up on the sofa, seemingly trying to reduce the area of contact between his body and the outside world. It was probably because the powers of Order and Disorder were fighting within every cell of his body, so any additional stimulation was very painful for him.

Tanisiel knelt in front of him, closed his eyes, and opened the third eye on his forehead to its limit. He could see the conflicting energies in Ethan’s body, like tightly intertwined vines that had wrapped around and bit at each other since they were born. People always thought that Order was good and Disorder was evil. Still, through the Eves’ mysterious third eye, the two energies appeared as the same disturbing color, which was invisible to the naked eye.

Tanisiel chanted incantations in the Eve’s language, which were short sentences composed of syllables that would relax people’s consciousness. Together with a priest’s trained mental strength, he could temporarily form a mental field. He continued to expand his mental field until he had wrapped Ethan in it. At that moment, the two forces boiling over in Ethan’s body also impacted his consciousness.

Priests could use this method to temporarily control people of the same species, other aliens, and even animals who were mentally weaker than them. However, this method was also very dangerous. If Tanisiel faced someone who had a mental strength far beyond his, it was likely that he would be caught by the other party instead and be completely engulfed. Although Ethan’s mental strength was not strong, he had the powers of the Gods of Disorder and Order in his body, which significantly impacted Tanisiel. For a moment, he wanted to retreat, but Ethan’s subconscious sigh made him change his mind.

Tanisiel tried to stabilize his willpower as he placed all his attention on Ethan’s brain and tried to cut off the pain perception in his body. He weaved his own spirit into a screen, enveloping Ethan’s consciousness layer by layer. The surging impact repeatedly attacked his spirit, and he also began to feel the stinging pain.

He had taken on at least half of Ethan’s pain.

Ethan was stunned. He didn’t know how the other party did it, but he just knew. He could feel Tanisiel’s aura surrounding him like the tenderest of kisses and caresses. It blocked the sharp pain of a thousand needles for him like a solid wall of iron and steel.

At that moment, amid the unbearable pain, Ethan was shocked beyond words. No one had ever done something like this for him. Even if someone were using him, they wouldn’t be this gentle with him.

He opened his mouth, trying to tell Tanisiel to stop. “I can…”

However, Tanisiel interrupted him, “Don’t make a sound.”

Ethan had no choice but to shut up. Furthermore, he did not dare to move or touch Tanisiel. They merely sat opposite each other as they both bore the same pain. Time seemed to stretch on for centuries. When the pain finally subsided and the black lines on the back of Ethan’s neck eventually shrunk like withered roots, Tanisiel finally closed his third eye, his clothes thoroughly soaked with sweat. Ethan also collapsed on the sofa, his mouth wide open as he panted with a blank gaze.

Tanisiel propped himself up and sat down on the sofa before turning Ethan’s body over, lifting his collar, and looking at the back of his neck. The black lines were almost gone, leaving only a single thin black line buried under his hairline.

“It seems to have worked,” Tanisiel said, but reassuringly. He chuckled. “I think you probably don’t want to get rid of it using the remaining four injections at once, right?”

Ethan began to laugh, trying to turn around to look at the priest. “I changed my mind. I’ve decided to let the God of Disorder mutate me.”

Just like that, the two people remained paralyzed on the sofa, tilting their heads as they laughed in a silly manner. There was nothing funny about the entire incident, but Ethan just wanted to laugh and couldn’t stop. He pushed his soaking wet bangs away and said, “Sometimes I wonder if I’m the motherfucking most unlucky person in this world? I only wanted to find a partner, but I got sent to the Forbidden City when I dated him. As soon as I arrived, I was sent to a goddamn place like Red Earth and got infected. It’s a pity that it is forbidden to sell □□ in the Forbidden City.”

Tanisiel raised his lips. “But you met me?”

“……What’s so good about meeting you?” Ethan stubbornly refused to admit it.

Tanisiel’s beautiful eyes swept a side glance at him, and he said, “You seem to be very happy every time you see me?”

“Did you know that one of the subjects we humans study, psychology, would call this behavior narcissism?”

“Did you know that your behavior is called changing the subject?”

Ethan chuckled again, then slowly turned his head and looked thoughtfully at the smooth and graceful side of the priest’s face. “Why did you want to help me?”

“I said you were important to me.”

“My Heavenbounder genes? I believe that if you need them, you should be able to find someone else, right? And now that I’ve mutated, it means that even my genetics couldn’t save me.”

Tanisiel shook his head. “You humans probably can’t understand this, but for us Eves, there is a kind of intuition that goes beyond reason that guides our behavior. We call it super perception, and my super perception tells me that you are the one I need.”

“……You’re right. I can’t understand that……”

“There’s nothing to understand. The God of Order’s universe will always give you the illusion that everything must have a cause and effect, but in fact, in the universes of the God of Disorder, maybe something will happen for no reason whatsoever. It merely happens.” Tanisiel turned to look at him and continued, “You don’t need to try to understand anything, and you don’t have to try to control anything. It’s a lot easier to live in the moment, in every second.”

“Living in the moment? Hahaha, you made it sound so easy,” Ethan whispered, “I grew up knowing what my future life would be like, but I never thought that one day I would become a monster.”

“Before I turned seven years old, I thought I was going to become a planetary traveling businessman, a toy dealer. When I was seven years old, I was brought into the palace by an uncle who would come to visit me every few months. It turned out that this uncle was the Grand Duke of the Eves, and I was his illegitimate son. His wife had died and left him no children, so I was appointed as his successor. From then on, I always thought that I would inherit his title until I was 17 years old. To get into contact with the God of Order’s eggs to extend my dying father’s life, I voluntarily accepted the soul purification ceremony and became a priest.”

Ethan’s eyes and mouth widened, but he couldn’t speak. He had never heard Tanisiel talk about himself. The priest was always calm and composed, as though he had been born as a priest, in control of everything. Therefore, Ethan had never thought about what kind of life Tanisiel might have led before becoming a priest.

Tanisiel looked at his shocked face and gave him a rare, tired smile. “You see, no one can imagine what we will be like in the future.”

“Did you save your father?”

“No.” It was a simple answer, and there was no redundant explanation. Tanisiel sighed softly, almost inaudibly.

In order to save his father, he abandoned the secular life he had led in his youth and dedicated his body and mind to God, but it was in vain.

It was no wonder that he was different from the image of Eve priests in Ethan’s mind, and no wonder that he was always so deviant. Ethan didn’t know whether Tanisiel regretted his desperate choice when he watched his father take his last breath.

If Ethan’s impression of the previous Tanisiel was akin to an omnipotent demigod, now, as he lay pale-faced beside him, Tanisiel’s halo was gone. He was finally like a man made of flesh and blood. Ethan felt a faint pain in his heart and leaned over and, for the first time, took the initiative to plant a kiss on Tanisiel’s forehead.

Tanisiel looked up at the charming viridian eyes. He reached out and stroked Ethan’s eyebrows. Then, he caressed Ethan’s face and kissed his lips once again.

Their lips and tongue intertwined. Ethan responded enthusiastically, with a certain feeling of relief as he abandoned all his shackles.

He would not admit that he might have genuinely fallen for the priest. However, at least for this moment, he wanted to embrace the blond man in front of him wholeheartedly. He wanted to forget the terrifying future he would possibly face and allow his heart, which had once been torn apart, to throb again as though he had never been hurt.

The author has something to say:

The last half of the closing sentence is inspired by a sermon by Father Alfred D’Souza (but the author seems to feel it seemed a bit controversial?): Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So, work like you don’t need money. Love like you’ve never been hurt and dance like no one’s watching.

To those looking forward to the Shou-sama’s mutation, please patiently wait a little longer……