Fantastic Dream Upon This Wonderful Existence

"Welcome to the Afterlife. Satou Kazuma san, isn't it? Age sixteen, currently unemployed, died of…" The voice cut off for a moment before continuing. "Malpractice of medical professionals… Yeah, let's leave it at that."

The sudden turn of events confused me.

I sat on a chair facing an office desk. And the one who announced that my life was over seated on that desk.

I wouldn't be surprised if she introduced herself as an angel. Her appearance is that a young girl, no older than twelve. She has short white hair, a milky white skin, and a pair of sparkling yellow eyes. She wore a silver-white trench coat and a couple of wings tucked in neatly behind her back.

On the desk is a book with the words 'Satou Kazuma' written on the cover.

"Can I ask one thing?" I asked her.

"I am obliged to tell you the truth," the girl replied calmly.

"… That girl… that was knocked away by me, is she still alive?"

That was the most important thing. That was the first and last time I did something worthwhile. If I didn't manage to save her in time despite betting my life, that would be so frustrating.

"Don't worry, aside from her fractured leg, she's fine,"

Thank goodness… So I didn't die in vain. Though, why does it sound like she's hiding something from me?

"Now, Satou Kazuma," she said while waving the book that I assume has my life story written in it. "I am Lady Paradox, the Goddess of Wisdom and Trickery from a world paralel from yours. Although guiding the death to the afterlife isn't usually my job, you are a peculiar exception."

An exception? Ah, it must be because I saved that girl, didn't I? Yes… That must be it… I've wasted all my life, but I ended my life in such a heroic fashion.

Paradox averted her gaze, took a peek on the book, before sighing a little. "Unfortunately you're not going to heaven."

My blood ran cold after hearing that. "Wh-what…" n-no, but I saved that girl, didn't I? I wasn't a bad person. "W-why? Why, please no, what did I do wrong…?"

"Your NET worth is negative," the little girl spoke, her voice colder than the void. "To put it bluntly, you lived your life as a burden to those around you. People would usually pay for it by being a productive member of the society, but you?"

And at that moment, I know fear…

"Satou Kazuma…" her sweet innocent voice stabbed my unbeating heart. "You are a scum of earth, a lifeless shut in, a man with no redeeming quality whatsoever. You do NOT deserve heaven, however…"

I found myself grasping at that one word. 'However', it means she's about to say anything, literally anything at all that contradicts with whatever she was saying. That contradicts with the fact that I am not going to heaven.

"I figured that someone who died as valiantly as you don't deserve hell too…"

Relieve flooded my body. I don't get heaven, fuck it, I don't care. But at the very least I am not burning for eternity in hell.

I gulped a little and dared to speak a word.

"Th-then… what will happen to me?"

"You get another chance," she replied simply. "If you succeed, you get your sweet heaven. If you fail," she giggled some more. "Well, Lucifer kun will get a new toy to play with…"

"I ACCEPT! AND THANK YOU!!!"

I slammed my head on the table and yelled those words. Second chance at life, yes please, for the love of everything that's holy. YES PLEASE!!! TAKE ALL MY YES!!!

Lady Paradox began laughing in amusement. "Ahaha! Yes, I knew you'd say that," she closed the book in front of her and smiled sweetly at me. "Well then, you have around… the rest of your life to redeem yourself," she explained.

"Y-yes… I promise I will redeem myself. Once I'm back I will clean my room, delete my hard drive, sell all my figurines and collections, apologize to my mother for making her cry, get a summer job…"

The goddess waved her hand. "No, no, it's too late for all that. You're already dead in your world. So you're going to redeem yourself in another world,"

"You mean, like an incarnation?"

"No, you will be sent there with your current body and your memories intact. You know, like the Isekai genre? It'll be a fantasy world! Full of RPG Elements!"

Hope fills my heart. RPG world, isekai, it's everything every otaku ever wanted. I've played so many games, read all sorts of novel and manga, about Isekai. I get it now, it's time for me to prove that I was NOT wasting my life.

"Okay… okay… I…" I held back a sob and lowered my head. "Th-thank you so much goddess… I swear I will not disappoint you…"

"Raise your head Kazuma kun, pay attention, there's a lot I need to explain to you,"

I raised my head and realized that there's something different with the way she's looking at me. Before she's looking at me like I'm less than an ant in her plate. Like she barely tolerates me but thinks my futile effort is just amusing.

Now however, I can feel warmth in her gaze. Like an adorable imouto figure patiently comforting her failure of onii chan. It's comforting and I began to appreciate the presence of the goddess.

I slowly wiped a tear off my face and nodded. "Y-yes… Megami sama, I'm paying attention."

"Now, the world I'm sending you is being threatened by the demon king. Yes, your mission is to kill the demon king."

Kill the Demon King!?

I was about to say something but she beat me to it.

"Now, you are not the only one from Japan who were sent there to kill the demon king. However, unlike you, the one we sent before were rewarded. So they were given cheat items and the likes."

"So… no cheat items for me?"

"That's right, instead, you will be given curses and liabilities,"

A card appeared in her hand like she was a magician and she handed it to me. I took a closer look at the card and saw many curses that'll make every gamer out there rage quit. Ranging from EXP Gain Penalty, Max Gold Limit, Hated by Beautiful Girls, Homeless Life, and more.

I felt my hope falter after seeing this. "But… how am I going to defeat the demon king if I…"

"I am not done," Paradox said flatly. "For every demon king general you defeated, a random curse will be released and replaced with a blessing opposite of it," she said simply. "Not only that, but… flip the card."

I flipped the card, and behind it, is hope on written form.

Two blessings from two goddess, the blessing of Eris and the blessing of Paradox. One gives me enough luck to always win against a one percent odds and the other gives me above average intelligence and skill point gain rate.

I couldn't help but grin after seeing that. Luck has always been my greatest strength and intelligence is definitely a major plus. "Thank you, Lady Paradox…" I spoke in relief.

"You're welcome," then her eyes widened and she snapped her finger. "By the way, I'll have someone to come with you."

"Who?"

"A mentally challenged goddess."

Of all the things she could've said, that is not one of them.

"I'm sorry?"

"Okay, mentally challenged is a little harsh. But yeah, she's pretty stupid. She'd probably feel like a burden so bringing her with you will be part of the punishment."

Hee… A useless goddess as my companion? These divine punishments are getting ridiculous…

"But she can revive you if you get killed," she added. "So you'd want to keep her around, though you have to quickly figure out a way to keep her on leash. Trick her into thinking you're some big shot and that she gotta listen to you, that should do the trick."

Slowly, ideas started to connect in my head I found myself processing her words with relative ease. Is this her blessing? The increase in intelligence?

"So… what you're saying is… You are giving me a defective companion so I could turn her into a useful one? Just like my curses?"

Paradox grinned, a prideful grin directed at herself. She pumped her fist victoriously and whispered something to herself before nodding. "That's right! Haha! This is working much better than I expected!"

"Uh… thank you?"

"You're welcome… Now, do you promise you will change your ways?"

I nodded without hesitation. "I promise."

"Promise you will save and help those in need?"

"I promise."

"Promise to bring this world for the better?"

"I promise."

Paradox stood up and laughed in mirth. "Then let your story begins!" she raised her hand and a rings of light appeared around my form. "Satou Kazuma! The Champion of Wisdom!!!"