Fantastic Dream Upon This Wonderful Existence

It's been a week since Verdia visited the town. I'm assuming that he'll storm the town guns blazing tomorrow, so now, we decided to take on a very, very dangerous job. Hopefully, I'll level up enough to learn a new type of spell for me to improve upon and get enough money to buy some sweet new items.

'Hunting for griffon and manticore'… Nope. 'Subjugating a one shot bear'… tempting I'll think about it later. 'Diverting the path of the destroyer'… Nah…

"This one! Look at this one!"

Listening to what Aqua said, I took a look at the request form she was pointing at.

'– Lake purification–The lake which was one of the water sources for the town had been polluted. Brutal alligators had moved into the lake. Request for someone to purify the lake. The monsters in the lake will leave after purifying the lake, there is no need to fight the monsters *Requirement: Priest with purification magic. Reward is 300,000 Eris.'

"I can do this! I'm the goddess of water, I can easily purify the lake!"

That sounds simple enough. Though the Brutal Alligators could pose a threat. So I should be ready with Darkness's bait and my own ranged spell. I've done the experiment and apparently I can imbue the tip of my arrows with 'Back Stab' and 'Sneak Attack'.

"How long would you need to purify it?"

"Around half a day or so…"

Hmm, half a day of fighting endless amount of potentially mini boss level monster sounds like a pain.

"Do you need to be in the water or…"

"For a goddess of my calibre, simply dipping myself on the water is enough."

Alright then, now the question, should I put her into a shark cage and dip her in like a tea bag? Answer, yes, yes I will. Definitely for her own good.

---

There was a large lake some distance from town. This lake was one of the water source of the town, there was a stream flowing out of it straight into town. The lake was besides a mountain, and water flowed endlessly down from it into the lake.

As stated in the request, the lake waters appeared a bit murky and showed signs of stagnation. I thought monsters prefer clean water, so that wasn't true.

As I looked over the lake, I heard a timid voice behind me.

"… Ne, ne, Kazuma. Are we really going to do it this way?" her voice sounded a little bit unease. "I feel like a rare monster being captured and put into auction," the rare monster was locked in a steel cage, hugging her knees in the center as she spoke

I think this is not a bad plan. "Don't worry Aqua, we won't just drop you in and leave you alone. I'm planning on doing some grinding with these alligators," I explained.

"Kazuma's right Aqua, even if a lot coming, I will use bait to lead the alligators away from you," Darkness said.

"Then when they're far enough on land, I will wipe them out with a single spell," Megumin added.

Aqua nodded a little before sighing a little. "Okay, I'm counting on you…"

With that, the purification device, I mean, Aqua is immersed at the bottom of the lake. I stood on top of the cage itself while Darkness stand guard at the edge of the lake. I have around twenty arrows and I'm planning on using it all before retreating.

"Kazuma, have you seen a brutal alligator before?" Megumin asked nonchalantly behind Darkness.

"Not really no," I replied. "What are they like?"

"Big, scary, lots and lots of teeth," the loli replied. "Their scales are practically invulnerable. I think it was impressive that you would try to grind something like Brutal Alligator but…"

"You know, you could've told us this, before we dumped this five metric ton steel cage into this lake right?"

The moment I said that, a bunch of silhouettes appeared beneath the water. I focused on the magic pattern for both back stab and sneak attack. Then I pulled my arrow and aimed as one of the huge brutal gators emerged from the lake.

"SNIPE!" I exclaimed before sniping one of the gators right in the eye. The arrow hits the bullseye and went straight through its head. The gator then stopped swimming and started floating motionlessly on the water.

It works! Yes!

After that, it was a piece of cake. With my over powered luck, all my shot hits the mark and killed the brutal alligator. Not a single one of them managed to reach the iron cage I'm standing on before they got shot death.

Take THAT puny genes!

Soon however, I've killed twenty alligators and I've ran out of arrows. I jumped off the cage and ran towards Darkness. "Okay Darkness, now!"

Darkness nodded and a flash of light came from her. As soon as it dies, the alligators that was almost near the cage started moving towards Darkness.

"Megumin! Prepare yourself, I'll kill as much as I can," I told her.

"Alright," she took off her staff's attachment because using her crystal staff might just destroy the local ecosystem. "Just give me the sign and I'll blow them all away!"

I gave her a thumb up before looking at the incoming gators. My sword burst into flames the moment I brandished it and I quickly vanished from their view. How do I hide while holding a flaming sword you ask? Magic of course.

Soon enough, I was right behind a gator. I sliced its back with all my might and my sword cut through its thick scales, with an extreme amount of effort. Seriously, it took like twenty percent of my mana to get enough heat to murder this bad boy.

After killing five gators, I started to get exhausted. I fell back towards Megumin and simply watched as Darkness lured in more and more alligators. "Alright Megumin, start the spell!" I exclaimed after the last of the alligator has hit the land.

Megumin started her chanting and Darkness started running towards us. Though, she looks like she doesn't want to do it. But I did promise her I will have some 'training' with her after this, so she keep up with the plan.

With a resounding bang and the beautiful sparkles of light. An expanding ball of light swallowed the alligators before disappearing in a spectacular flash of light and a thundering 'BOOM'. When it dies down, a crater twenty meters in diameter is the only thing left.

At least a seven Alligators were killed in that explosion. Along with the ones I killed, we got like, thirty two brutal alligator. Now the question is, do these bad boys has a bounty? Hopefully they do, I mean, their scales should make some pretty sweet armor right?

After catching my breath, I returned to the lake and saw that it's a little bit more cleaner than before. But nowhere near completion.

"How are you doing Aqua?"

"I'm fine, thanks for killing those gators Kazuma,"

"If you want to go to toilet just give us a holler, okay?"

"You fool! Archpriest does not need to go to toilet!"

Somehow I doubted that.

With that, I started inspecting the floating carcass of the alligators I killed. The arrows lodged deep in their eyes were irretrievable unfortunately, so I let those corpses be for now.

After a moment of boredom, I climbed on to the cage and lay down on top of it, staring at the sun. It felt nice and warm after soaking in the lake. "Ne, Aqua, you can turn this into a profession you know?" I told her.

"Purifying water?"

"Selling clean water," I replied simply. "By that, I mean, clean drinking water."

"But the water surrounding the town is already clean,"

"But not pure, I mean, our target isn't the usual citizens. But instead, we're selling it to the nobles and people with a lot of money to spare. Just make a brand, Aqua's Holy Water, or something and they'll probably buy them for their own use."

"So we're not selling it on the streets?"

"Nope, we'll go door to door or advertise it somehow and take in orders," I chuckled a little. "We'll make them think that people like them only deserve the purest of all water. Oh and we can even make the premium ones!"

"Premium holy water?"

"The standard ones are purified as usual. The premium one will have you dipping in naked during the process, so it's kinda like your bath water,"

"Only someone as smart as you or the worst of all pervert would think of something like that…"

"Then we'll give in a bonus. For every ten gallons of purchase, you get the photo of…"

"AH! STOP! No, I am not that desperate for money!!!"

I just laughed in response. I mean, if Aqua's beautiful figure is anything to go by, at least some perverted noble out there would buy five gallons of her bath water. She can even be an actual idol if she really wants!

Huh… This joke started to turn from a joke into an actually pretty good idea…

"Aqua, can you sing?"

"I never really tried it…"

"You should try, then you'll get yourself a lot of worshipper, I mean, fans."

"I will start practicing tomorrow,"

Just like that, I already have a plan to become a millionaire. Heck, maybe her party tricks skill can help her into becoming the first and the best idol in this world. She might even get herself the bard skill and become even more useful!

Awesome isn't it? I can't wait to break her curse and have her become a super useful teammate!

"Kazuma, what are you doing up there?" Darkness called out to me.

"Sunbathing," I lied.

Darkness, carrying Megumin behind her back, jumped on to the cage. She landed softly on the cage and lowered Megumin down beside me. "Hot!" the little girl yelped the moment her body hits the iron cage.

"Go dip in the lake first, it'll become nicely warm."

"That sounds like the fastest way to catch cold."

I just chuckled at that. Catching cold huh? In a world where death by decapitation and being preyed upon is a common thing, I really have no time to consider about something as trivial as common cold. Heck, the girl inside this cage can revive the dead! Why should I worry about something like cold?

Soon after that, Darkness lie down beside me.

So here I am, surrounded at all sides by beautiful girls. Kinda like every isekai protagonist ever. The only difference is that I'm not some clueless protagonist and well aware about my reputation points with each of these girls.

With Aqua I have the extremely close friend reputation. We've been living together for a long while and I've proven that she can depend on me for anything that require a modicum of thought. I also give her tons of opportunity to prove herself to be very useful to me.

With Megumin I have the close friend reputation. Since the grave scene where I promised to train her into becoming a legend, she's been looking up to me as a mentor of some sort. Though, I cannot really pursue this relationship until she grows up a little, mentally I mean.

With Darkness, I have the friend and questionable play reputation. You could say that I'm much more closer to the perverted fetishes side of her than the actual crusader side of her. I'm not sure I can improve this relationship without learning more about her. She's a bit tight lipped about her family after all.

Then again, why am I thinking about this? Shouldn't I be thinking about fighting Verdia? He'll probably show up anytime now!

"Kazuma, how long are you planning to sleep in the stables?" Darkness asked suddenly. "We don't mind if you use the party's fund to get yourself a proper bed."

"Darkness's is right, I know a cheap tavern that cost like, two thousand Eris a night. You should stay there," Megumin added.

Ah shit, should I tell them? I mean, they deserve to know, right? Well, they might get discouraged after learning about the useless teammate part, but… I don't know… I really don't know… Worst case scenario, they might think of themselves as cursed by partying with me…

With a deep breath, a sat up from my position. "Alright, it's time to come clean with you guys," okay, you can do this. "But, I want you to promise me one thing…"

Megumin somehow, although weakened, slowly sat up next to me. "What is it Kazuma?"

"Nevermind, I can't make you promise that… You're… you're free to leave…"

"What are you talking about, Kazuma?!" Darkness exclaimed suddenly.

I took out my adventurer card and showed it to them. "Aqua, I'm showing these two my adventurer's card!"

There was no response so I'm just gonna bet on my luck for this. 'Eris sama, I'm counting on you again' I thought before opening the details option in my card. "When I was sent here, I was cursed…"

Just like that, they could see it. The ugly truth brewing underneath my awesome exterior. "I level up really, really slowly… And I was cursed so that, no matter what I do, I cannot sleep in a proper house. I'm cursed so that my party member will be… a bit handful. And I cannot personally have one hundred thousand Eris… I will always, somehow, in debt, though Aqua here happily take care of that…"

"I heard that!"

"And I'm cursed so that trouble follows me wherever I go," I chuckled mirthlessly. "The only way to break this curse is by defeating a demon king general, that's why I'm so adamant at killing the demon king… Now, you see why I don't put this on the recruitment poster?"

"No one in their right mind would want to party up with a weak, pitiful, trouble magnet like me…" I dropped back on the cage. "I won't ask you to stay around, we'll split up the bounty and party funds and…"

'thunk'

A hard cold wooden staff smacked me on my head. I looked above me and saw Megumin staring at me with a flat look on her face.

"You call yourself smart, but that has got to be the stupidest thing you've ever said, period," her expression hardens. "We're literally known as the strongest party in Axel! We've never failed a mission, not even once! Just two weeks ago, you spent one and a half million Eris on a single store!"

"Yeah, but…"

"Kazuma, do you think of us as useless?" Darkness asked suddenly.

"Of course not!"

"Then the curse is nothing more but an incoherent ramble," she then pointed at the two points below my curses. "You have two, literally two goddesses giving you their blessing. These curse is nothing against the blessing of two goddess, one of which the most revered goddess in the city!"

I whispered a thanks to the goddess she mentioned before sighing in relief. "I sounded like Megumin that night in the cemetery just now huh?"

"Oi, we're giving you a pep talk, don't start a fight."

I chuckled a little and pet her head a little. "Sorry, sorry," the girl punched me playfully in response. "But still, thank you for that, I really need that…"

After a few hours of silence and simply enjoying each other's company. Aqua finished purifying the lake.

Let me tell you though, she did a damn good job at it. The lake was pristine clean, I can easily see fishes and some crayfish swimming around in it. It glitters in the sun and I can imagine it being one the best picnic spot ever.

I jumped down the lake, noticing how refreshing the lake feels on my feet. "Okay Aqua, you can get out of there," I told the goddess in the pond.

Aqua exhaled a deep breath and lie down on her back. "Just carry me like this please… I'm so exhausted…" she muttered.

With that, we dragged Aqua, cage and all, back to the town.