Ferdie and the Elementals

The brighter the early morning gets, the more obvious it becomes: Zazel's release brought a lot more life and beauty to Astraea.

Like before, the plain is vast and stretches out as far as the eye can see, but now there's a lot more to it. For one, it's not completely flat anymore; there are plenty of little hills, knolls, and slopes here and there as well a small groves of trees with a creek or two running and cutting through. The tall grasses sway gently in the breeze, and I can hear the rustling of tiny creatures scurrying through the underbrush. In the distance, I can also see the hazy outline of a small mountain range, and I can't help but wonder what kinds of animals might be up there.

I don't see many critters, but of the ones I do, most seem to be much smaller and simpler than those on Earth. I spot some strange little rodents and little puffy birds scurrying around. The one exception is when get a glimpse of a funny-looking beetle -that's about the size of a cat- as it slowly crawls up a tree.

The ass end of the sun is just over the horizon when I finally catch a glimpse of my house, which marks the dead center of Astraea. Even though I'm still far away, it's pretty damn obvious that it's not just a little shack in a field anymore.

For the first time since my outburst, I turn back to Althea and Zazel. "Hey, we're almost there! You see it!?"

Althea and the Knights are still marching dutifully in formation a little distance away. Her eyes lock onto mine. "Yes, Hero, I can see it! It appears to have changed substantially!"

I look over at Zazel, but she's out cold. She's combined her handful of Spawn into some kind of gross-ass mobile beanbag chair and is dozing off with her head back and her mouth open. The Spawn list gently left and right like they're drunk, apparently unable to decide if they should stick close or keep their distance from me and Althea.

"I'm hungry as hell! Let's move a little faster!"

Althea nods as she picks up the pace. "Yes, Hero!"

Zazel twists, turns, and rolls over on her big goopy chair, her back facing outward.

Eventually, we roll up on the house. Nestled between some grassy knolls and a few tall, leafy trees, the dark oak house looks a story or two bigger and has a white stone tower attached on one end and something that looks like a big black cellar door on the other.

But the first thing that greets us is the well. It's simple in design, and it's pretty much just a waist-high, circular stone wall with a metal bucket hanging above it. Pretty sure I saw one in a movie once.

I peer over the edge and see the smooth stone walls of a deep, narrow pit with a single, circular pool of water at the bottom. Just looking at it reminds me of how thirsty I am. In fact, since I arrived, I've had nothing but wine, and not even much of that.

I don't have anything on me I can use drink with, so I drop the bucket in, get a big ol' scoop water, and gulp it down using the bucket like a giant cup. The water is cold, clear, and tastes so fucking good. It's like drinking pure life.

"Fuck, I needed that."

Althea and the Knights come to a halt next to the well.

"Is the water refreshing?" Althea asks.

I slurp some more. "Hell yeah, it's good."

"In that case, may I have some, Hero?"

"Yeah, sure."

I pass her the bucket and she takes a quick swig, and passes it back. "That is indeed pleasant. Quite refreshing."

"Yeah. C'mon, let's see what the house has to offer. I need some jerky."

"Of course."

I look over to Zazel, who is finally pulling up to the well on her nasty little ride, yawning and rubbing her eyes. "Wake up, sleeping beauty! We're going inside!"

"What? Ugh, fine."

She slides off the big Spawn chair with a plop and the creatures quickly disperse. She follows along, still groggy as we all head over to the house.

"Man, this is great. Gotta hand it to God, he did a solid job."

I can feel the tension in my neck and shoulders relax as I approach the door and the front windows, the feeling of homecoming settling in. I put my hand on the knob and it comes open with a single jiggle.

"Home, sweet home."

I swing open the door, and the sight of the place makes me smile. It reminds me of the nice, big houses in the suburbs in some of the old family movies I saw as a kid, but more rural, more medieval. There's a large central living area, complete with a huge rug, a table and chairs, and a big fireplace, which is already gently crackling with low flame. I'm tempted to sit down and relax, but the rumbling in my gut tells me I need food.

"Hero, there kitchen is this way." Althea calls out from the next room over.

"Make haste brisket," adds Zazel. "I demand culinary satisfaction!"

I don't know what that means, but I head on over and take a gander at the kitchen. I need jerky.

It's big, but not huge. There are two doors that probably lead to a cellar and a storage room, there's a huge, square cooking hearth, and there's a big, rectangular wooden table in the middle. Althea is standing in front of a cabinet full of bowls and pots and jars of various sizes, all packed with various dried, canned, and salted foods and drink.

"Wow, look at this stuff. This shit would cost a fortune back home."

Zazel leans back in her seat at the kitchen table. "Humans make their meals from various ingredients, right?" She swings her legs up and rest her bare feet on the tabletop. "As recompense for last night's unparalleled display of brazen rudeness, make me something that humans eat. If it pleases me, I shall consider forgiving you."

I stop rifling through the drawers and cabinets for jerky, sigh, and turn to the two Elementals. "Look, you guys. I'm sorry. I really am. I... I guess I just have some internal shit to sort through. I shouldn't take it out on you two."

Zazel stares at me blankly. "Well, obviously, you have issues. Your world sounds absolutely horrid."

Althea nods. "I am most relieved to hear you admit that there is a problem, Hero." She puts her hand over her heart and bows politely. "I accept your apology. Now, if you might be more willing to confide in me, we may be able to get to the bottom of this issue."

"Yeah, well... I don't know what it is. I was never used to get angry like that until-"

It hits me. Hell, it's stupidly obvious after two fucking seconds of thinking about it. "Until the Hero Pendant gave me my powers..."

Althea's eyebrows furrow. "The Hero Pendant is a divine artifact: a gift directly from God. Surely one of His treasures would not cause you to become so wrathful."

Zazel's eyebrows furrow, too. "By the way, sausage, which Archetype did you choose?"

"Huh?"

"Ugh, which type of Hero did you choose to become?"

"I didn't. The Hero Pendant chose for me."

The two Elementals trade looks.

"Hero," Althea's voice is colored with a bit of concern, "that is most impossible. Only the Hero can choose his Archetype."

"So, it was the Pendant, not the Hero," Zazel taps a finger against her chin. "That's most peculiar. And what is this Archetype?"

"I don't remember. Lemme check."

I pull the pendant out of my shirt, clutch it, and close my eyes.

What is my Archetype?

My voice echoes into the deep black ether of my mind's eye for a second, and I get my answer. It's spelled out to me in a strange kind of text that I've never seen before. As the symbols appear, they're read out to me in a low, whispery-sounding language that is totally alien, but still somehow perfectly comprehensible.

YOUR HERO ARCHETYPE IS: CUSTOM

I don't get it. What does 'custom' mean?

They symbols vanish and more reappear, read out in the same voice again.

YOU CREATED A HERO ARCHETYPE THAT EXISTS OUTSIDE OF THE PREDETERMINED SELECTION.

I open my eyes and put the pendant away.

"Hero, did you get an answer?"

"Yeah, uh..."

I don't know what the fuck it's talking about.

"Uh, the Hero Pendant said I made my own Hero Archetype, but I didn't. I was just fiddling with the Pendant and it suddenly blew up on me for no reason. And before I knew it, I was 7 feet tall and throwing explosive punches."

Althea's face is stern. "That is impossible. There is something very wrong with this."

Zazel shrugs. "Don't be so sure, Order. Even we Elementals don't know everything about it."

Althea glares. "But this is so unorthodox!"

"What's wrong with that? A little irregularity is good!"

"You guys, enough." I feel myself getting hot again.

They pipe down and turn their attention back to me.

"Look, the Limp Dicks are gonna be here in less than two months and we need to be ready. But we can't even make a plan until I get this shit sorted, which is gonna take some time."

"What do you propose we do, hero?"

"I'm gonna take a couple of days to explore the Hero Pendant and learn about my powers. Once I understand them better, maybe I can control 'em... Along with my temper."

Zazel nods. "Surprisingly wise, coming from you. So, what should we do?"

"We can make ourselves useful," Althea says. "We can begin work on a suitable base of operations, as well as fortifying the house."

"I wasn't asking you, Order," Zazel scowls. "But I suppose you're not wrong. Also, we should send out some Thralls to scout for resources."

I nod. "Sounds good."

"And speaking of Thralls," Zazel gives me a catty look and a greedy little smile, "you owe me almost a hundred. Don't keep me waiting."

"Yeah, yeah, soon. We gotta build up our army anyways." I open a cabinet, and spot a big burlap sack with jerky spilling out of it, which I snag instantly. "But first, let's have some food and get some rest."

----

Since none of us know how to cook anything, the Elementals and I decide to feast on a grab bag of dried meats, cheeses, and some fruit. It's all really good; the cheeses are interesting colors and the fruit looks familiar and alien at the same time. I especially enjoy a bunch of small green fruits shaped like crescent moons that taste like a cross between a very sweet melon and an orange, and I gobble them up almost as fast as the jerky.

We all claim our own rooms: I take the master bedroom upstairs, Althea the tower, and Zazel the basement. Althea and Zazel are totally bushed, which is probably the reason why they don't quarrel of fight over anything as we get ready to shuffle off to Dreamland.

But I can't sleep. I'm not a even little sleepy, even if I do feel a bit mentally exhausted from the events of the last two days.

I realize that haven't had a full night's sleep since I arrived. I dozed off a bit in Althea's tower after the Ritual, and took a nap before the Spawn attack, but I haven't actually properly slept since coming to Astraea.

I run my hand through hair my and sit up.

Shit, this is kind of disturbing. First superpowers, then uncontrollable anger, and now I apparently have insomnia or something. I need to get to the bottom of this; it's time to start asking some serious questions.

I put my clothes back on, and, as quietly as my huge body and heavy-ass boots will allow, I make my way down the stairs and out the front door. I really don't wanna wake up the Elementals; Althea and Zazel's bickering and fussing is the last thing I need right now.

I head up a little knoll, sit underneath a tree and settle in. The late afternoon sun casts a gentle golden glow over the grass, which stretches out far and wide in a wavy sea of green. It's a bit comforting, like nature is saying, "It's gonna be fine. Just chill and get to work."

Which is what I do. Hero Pendant resting in my hand, I close my eyes, and return to the void of my mind's eye.

Yo, Hero Pendant. I have questions.

The weird symbols appear again, along with the low voice speaking in that strange language.

WHAT DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?

I guess I wanna know more about me and my abilities and powers and stuff like that. But keep it simple.

HERE IS A SIMPLE OVERVIEW OF YOU AND YOUR ABILITIES AS THE HERO:

A long-ass wall of glowing text falls down like a curtain and front of me, and the voice starts reading it to me.

NAME: FERDINAND LUCAS GLADWIN

RACE: HUMAN (EARTH)

ALIGNMENT: NEUTRAL

INCORPORATED ELEMENTALS: NONE

ARCHETYPE: CUSTOM

PROFICIENCIES: HEALTH (SUPREME), STRENGTH (SUPREME), ENDURANCE (SUPREME)

DEFICIENCIES: INTELLIGENCE (LACKING), WISDOM (LACKING), MANA (ABSENT)

Yeah, yeah. I already saw this yesterday. It's weird that I don't have mana, and it kind of sucks that it thinks I'm stupid, but whatever. Don't need brains if you have a lot of brawn, at least when it comes to war.

The voice just keeps going and going, but the symbols stay floating in front of me, so I try to ignore the voice and read on at my own pace.

I go down to the next section and what I see makes me freeze.

CORE HERO ABILITY: HEART OF VENGEANCE: YOUR HEART, ONCE MADE OF FRAGILE TISSUE, IS NOW A WELLSPRING OF POWER BORNE FROM THE UNION BETWEEN THE PRIMORDIAL FORCE OF RAGE AND THE COSMIC ENERGY OF A RED STAR. THIS BURNING NUCLEUS OF RAW ENERGY CAN BE TAPPED TO FORTIFY YOUR BODY AND FUEL OTHER ABILITIES.

Holy shit, am I reading this right!?

USING THIS ABILITY, WHETHER THROUGH DELIBERATE ACTIVATION OR NATURALLY ELEVATED ANGER, INCREASES YOUR PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES AND POWER OF ACTIVATED ABILITIES IN PROPORTION TO THE QUANTITY OF ENERGY TAPPED AND/OR THE SEVERITY OF THE ANGER, WITH ALMOST NO UPPER LIMIT.

I sit there, staring at the text, my mind reeling a bit from this revelation.

ALSO IN PROPORTION TO THE AMOUNT OF TAPPED POWER, YOU WILL EXPERIENCE A NUMBER OF NEGATIVE EFFECTS AND DEBILITATIONS INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO: IRRITABILITY, IMPAIRED JUDGEMENT, IRRATIONALITY, PARANOIA, SEVERE PAIN, BODILY TRAUMA, COMBUSTION, AND LOSS OF SELF-CONTROL. THESE EFFECTS MAY LINGER AT WEAK OR RESIDUAL LEVELS FOR SOME TIME AFTER USE OF THIS ABILITY, EVEN IF ALL TAPPED ENERGY IS EXPENDED.

My heart is a goddamned nuclear reactor fueled by rage! No wonder I'm fucking pissed all the time.

I take a moment to absorb this information and take a breath. Okay, so it's a superpower and a curse. Sounds more like a villain's power than a hero's, but whatever. And what was that about 'activated abilities'?

I mentally grope and flounder around a little, then I somehow manage to 'scroll' down a bit to see more.

ACTIVATED ABILITIES:

BALLISTIC BEATDOWN: THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN WITHSTAND YOUR WRATH. EVEN THE STRONGEST ENEMIES AND MOST DURABLE MATERIALS CRUMBLE AND SHATTER UNDER THE FORCE OF YOUR EXPLOSIVE STRIKES. THE SPEED AND POWER OF YOUR BLOWS BECOMES SO INTENSE THAT YOU CAN CAUSE DESTRUCTION AT RANGES WELL BEYOND THE REACH OF YOUR BODY.

And that explains why my punches were wrecking shit so hard. I didn't know I was 'activating' anything when I unleashed on the spawn, I just did it naturally, like I was moving a limb or something.

RAMPAGING REGENERATION: EVEN THE SMALLEST CELLS IN YOUR BODY ARE IMBUED WITH YOUR RAGE, AND THEY DO NOT TAKE KINDLY TO BEING DESTROYED OR SEPARATED. YOU CAN HEAL WOUNDS, OVERCOME ILLNESSES, AND REGENERATE LOST BODY PARTS AT WILL. IF YOU ARE RENDERED UNCONSCIOUS OR DIE, THIS ABILITY WILL AUTOMATICALLY ACTIVATE IF YOUR CORE IS STILL FUNCTIONAL.

When Althea got on my case for being reckless yesterday, I told her that I basically can't die. I meant it, but it was just a gut feeling I had. But seeing it spelled out and confirmed like this makes me feel badass. I'm pretty much unbeatable at long as my 'core' doesn't get busted.

I get a glimpse at the next Ability. Wait, what's this?

INCENSED INSTINCTS: THE ROAR OF YOUR FURY SILENCES ALL INTERNAL DISTRACTIONS AND FOCUSES THE ENTIRETY OF YOUR BEING ON THE CURRENT SITUATION, ENHANCING YOUR REACTION SPEED AND SHARPENING YOUR INSTINCTS. IN ADDITION, YOUR INDIGNATION MAKES YOU A MASTER OF IMPROVISED COMBAT BY BRUTE FORCING ITSELF INTO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS TO INSTANTLY DRAW UPON AND APPLY CONTEXTUALLY-RELEVANT LATENT MEMORIES, IF ANY.

I don't really get this one, but it looks like it makes me a better fighter, so that's good, I think. The only strange thing is that I don't recall having a natural feel for this Ability like the others, which also doesn't make much sense. I sure as hell could have used that when I squared off with Bub. Maybe I should try to use this one later to get a feel for it. Anyways, what else is there?

PASSIVE ABILITIES:

HARDENED BY HARDSHIP: LIFE IS HARD, AND SO ARE YOU. YOUR PAIN TOLERANCE IS SUBSTANTIALLY ENHANCED, YOUR SKIN AND FLESH ARE EXTRA RESILIENT, AND YOUR BONES ARE MADE OF AN INDESTRUCTIBLE ALLOY. IN ADDITION, YOU HAVE EXTRA GENERAL RESISTANCE TO NON-MAGICAL SOURCES OF HARM, AS WELL AS NEAR-TOTAL IMMUNITY TO SELF-INFLICTED DAMAGE.

My bones are made of metal? How did I not notice that? I mean, I've definitely been feeling heavier lately, but I thought it was just because grew a foot and packed on a huge amount of muscle.

TOO ANGRY TO DIE: ON THE ROAD OF LIFE, EVEN DEATH STANDS ASIDE WHEN HE SEES YOU COMING. IF YOU ARE MORTALLY WOUNDED WHILE IN AN ENRAGED STATE, YOU COMBUST VIOLENTLY, RESULTING IN THE EXPULSION OF ALL REMAINING TAPPED CORE ENERGY AND INSTANT STABILIZATION.

Shit, that's not good. If some sneaky asshole manages to clip me while Althea and Zazel are nearby... No, it's not gonna happen. Ain't no one gonna clip me. Not if I have this kind of power.

There's just one more little section near the bottom.

OTHER EFFECTS:

THE PRICE OF POWER: MAGIC

YOUR CONSTANT INDIGNATION PREVENTS YOU FROM ESTABLISHING ANY SIGNIFICANT CONNECTION TO THE SACRED FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE. AS SUCH, YOU CANNOT LEARN OR CAST SPELLS NOR CAN YOU GAIN MAGICAL RESISTANCES. FURTHERMORE, ENCHANTED ITEMS WILL LOSE THEIR MAGIC WHILE IN YOUR POSSESSION. HOWEVER, OTHERS CAN STILL USE MAGIC ON YOU AND YOU CAN ACQUIRE AND USE DIVINE MIRACLES AND BOONS.

Whatever. Casting spells is too slow and mana runs out fast. Besides, I don't need magic if I'm practically immortal and can punch the shit out of anything. And if I need magic for some reason, I can get Althea or Zazel to help me out.

That's all she wrote, so I open my eyes and the fields of Astraea greet me once again. I sigh and run my hand through my hair. I can't believe this is all happening. It's all so wild, but it's still real.

I'm a goddamned superhero with a heart full of fire.

"Hero!"

My attention shoots up to see Althea making her way over to me.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"What are you doing out here, Hero?"

"Couldn't sleep, so I figured I'd check in with the Pendant and figure out what the hell is going on with my powers. It turns out I was right."

"You were?"

"Yep, turns out the reason why I'm pissed off all the time is because of my powers."

Althea nods and settles in the grass next to me. "So, your anger is an effect of the abilities granted by your Archetype?"

"Yeah. Apparently, my heart is a star made of rage or something."

Althea shakes her head. "This is truly remarkable. I had no idea such a thing was possible."

"Yeah, it's what fuels my powers. It makes me more or less immortal, and gives me super strength. And from what I understand, there's no limit to how much power it can give me."

"Truly, it is an unbelievable ability. It would be impossible to defeat you in single combat."

"That's why it's great. The Limp Dicks are toast if they fuck with me."

Althea shakes her head again and frowns a little. "But you're not happy, Hero."

"What?"

"I can sense your turmoil. There's more to it than that. Do not deny it."

I look away and scratch the back of my head. "Well, the truth is that the stronger it makes me, the more wild and unpredictable I'll become. I've barely used it and it's already affected my mind this much."

"Indeed."

I sigh. "I don't know what the Limp Dicks have planned, but it's probably not going to be an easy fight. In fact, I have a feeling that I'm gonna have to go all out to beat 'em, and I'm afraid I'll take shit too far and hurt you or Zazel when I take 'em on. I don't want a peerish victory."

"Pyrrhic, Hero. You do not want a Pyrrhic victory."

"Yeah, whatever. Point is, if I'm not careful, I could hurt someone."

"I am not afraid, Hero. I know your heart is true. It is angry and hurt, but it is true. If you are sincere, and you put your best foot forward, I believe you can control this power safely. God chose you for a reason, and He would not have His champion become a scion of wanton destruction. Believe in yourself."

I smile a little. It feels good to get encouragement. I sure as hell didn't get much back on Earth, and Althea's words make me realize how much I needed it.

"Thanks, you're right. You're always right. And I need to know more about what I'm working with. I need to test these powers and see for myself what they can do and how much I can control 'em. Then we can make a real game plan to trash the Limp Dicks."