For the Record

We sit in silence for a moment. Well, I’m standing, but it doesn’t matter.

And then I say, “First of all, I’m not Nyx, she is; and second… I don’t really care.”

Erebus stares back with a dumbfounded expression.

“So really, is that all you’ve got? Everything? This is your big revenge or whatever? Kind of falls flat, doesn’t it? In fact, if I’m pissed off about anything it’s you destroying what I worked for on my plane. I put real effort into that! And sure it was all because the hells-damned rabbit made me do it, but it was still mine! At least I got to murder all your pet vampires for it, it’s definitely-”

“Shut up,” the goddess of darkness interrupts. “I’m on my throne here. I’m supposed to be the one monologuing!”

“What’s your point?”

Nyx, meanwhile, seems to be in shocked silence. In hindsight though… I guess a lot of this was obvious.

“My point is that I have you exactly where I want you, and I’m going to keep smashing everything you build, forever, and ever, and ever! And you can’t stop me!”

I sigh, letting more ash stain her carpets. “More of that? That really is all you’ve got, isn’t it? ‘Look at me, I’m so scary, I’m so powerful.’ The humans might quake at that act, but I’m not human – nor have I ever been.”

Which… is an interesting thought.

“Wait, if I was never human…”

“I don’t know what the hells you are. I tore out your damned ego and stuffed it in that keepsake, and you just started changing into that thing. It felt like something was knotted up in your soul and when I pulled, it just happened. Which I should have expected, considering you always were a monster, at least to me. You made a wonderful flesh suit though!”

“And I still don’t care.”

Nerin chooses that moment to let out a particularly mournful wail. She’s been thrashing and snarling this entire time, still fruitlessly.

“So what happens now?” I ask with an indifferent shrug. “I just leave, and you keep trying to break everything I make?”

Erebus answers me with a dark look and quietly says, “Do you think I’m just going to let you leave when you’re right in front of me? There are plenty of ways to trap a god."

Out of nowhere, an enormous blast of blue flame engulfs me, resolving into a massive flaming ball of white fur crouching protectively over me and my stunned angel, snarling loudly enough to rattle the walls. The vampire grocer cowers before going limp in my grasp as a few stones slip free from the ceiling, crashing to the ground and raising clouds of dust.

“Well, well!” my… apparent family crows. “If it isn’t the family dog!”

Artemis’ snarls and snaps her teeth in response.

The goddess of darkness raises her hands in mock apology. “Oh, excuse me. Here I thought this was my home. But speaking of that… you do realize what it means for you to come here and threaten me, don’t you?”

…

“It means war between the pantheons. And it’s all your fault.”

If that bothered the divine beast she certainly doesn’t let it show.

The last words before we vanish in another flash of flames echo hollowly in the stone room.

“I loved you, big sister. More than anyone else.”

“And I hated you,” her sister answered.

***

Unsurprisingly, Nyx is back in a funk.

But that’s alright, I guess. I’ll let her work through it.

“I think I knew,” she says in a hollow voice. “The signs were all there. Everything pointed to it. But I didn’t want to believe it. I just didn’t want to believe she was that depraved, or that this is all that’s left of me. And I’m not even me!”

“Yes you are. You’re more you than I am, even if I’m… technically you, or at least your body I guess. And your soul, but that doesn’t matter because you have a new one, right?”

“How is that the same? Just how the hells is that the same?”

I shrug back. “Comforting people has never been something I’m good at.”

“More human things, right?”

“Yeah. Plus I really thought I was… well, me. And not you.”

Silence fills my reception hall, the same way her defeated air fills the rest of the space…

That isn’t presently occupied by a giant flaming fox, anyway.

“Arty, could you please-”

Before I even finish my sentence, she’s already morphed back to her humanoid form, crouching naked on the stone floor before retrieving her usual attire from her dimensional storage.

“Thank you. Also, good timing, I wasn’t sure how we were going to get out of there.”

My wife offers a weak smile in return, as well as a faintly questioning look.

She wants to know if she should leave. I can tell.

I can just tell.

“You can stay, I guess. There… isn’t really a reason to throw you out now. It doesn’t matter.”

…

“Nothing really matters, does it? Maybe this is why the gods are all waiting to die.”

***

“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times; There’s no point in trying to resist my will, not now and not ever. You belong to me.”

No I don’t.

But I can’t make the words form.

Why can’t I make the words form?

I strain against the magic binding me but my efforts bear no result other than exhausting my will.

What do I do?

What am I supposed to do?

“Don’t worry, Estel. You’ll get used to it faster than you think. My others slaves certainly have! Of course, I’ll admit that some take longer than others, and you do possess a rather strong will… Were you perhaps initiated by some of the older gods then, I wonder? Well, it doesn’t matter. Take your place, I’ll have need of you later.”

And my body heeds his words, leading me to an empty space among the guards to the side of his royal hall. Why do all the gods have a throne room anyway? Especially this one. It’s not like he rules anything… his entire plane is made up of water, other than a handful of floats and all the longboats where his ‘purgatorial souls’ row for eternity.

At least I’m not one of them, I guess.

The unpleasant god leaves me with a few parting words as I turn in place to take a respectful stance.

“It’s unfortunate you’re so indescribably homely; I’d have added you to my harem otherwise.”

Not even the collar can suppress my shiver.

***

I… definitely felt something. What was it?

Disgust? Desperation?

And as soon as it came, it returned to the flat nothing I’ve felt from my bond with Izahne for some time now. Somehow I can tell it wasn’t due to distance this time.

I can tell what direction she is, but that still doesn’t help me… when I follow it, all I find is a place that leads nowhere. An empty place in my plane.

Are the planes superimposed over each other?

Maybe.

I asked Markus if he knew and all I got from him was a “Maybe, we’re not sure.”

Not helpful. Not helpful at all.

I’ve been reaching out through the contacts I have to try to find her without much luck. Eris again offered to induct me into the dark pantheon… something she’s pushed harder considering they’re heading into a war with the light pantheon, due to my own accidental invasion of Erebus’ plane and Arty’s timely arrival.

I could argue that it’s not my fault, I guess, but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t matter. I was there.

And I still don’t care.

…

But they do have resources.

It just feels strange to me that my entourage would trigger a war between light and dark by encroaching on the dark pantheon, and then joining them.

I guess it doesn’t matter.

I’m not sure what side my fox wife would take though.

…

“Hey, so the light and dark pantheons are going to war, yeah?” I ask.

She nods her head without interrupting her chewing.

I’m at her treehouse for dinner, after all – she invited me, for some reason.

I take a bite of my own steak, savoring the blood dripping from the raw meat. “Are you choosing a side?”

Her sheepish look matches the emotions radiating from our link.

“You are. You absolutely are. Aren’t you?”

And she nods again.

“Are we going to be fighting each other then?”

…

Silence fills the room for a few moments, and I let it. I’ve apparently fought her before – as Astraea – and won. It’s certainly possible I could do it again, even if I’m apparently not as strong as she was at her peak.

Not yet.

“Maybe,” Artemis finally mumbles downward as though speaking to her plate. “Alliances.”

I see.

She doesn’t have a choice.

…

And I might not have a choice either. Not if I want to find my second first wife.

I’ve already tried everything that Nyx and the others could think of and came back with nothing. My options boil down to joining the dark pantheon and using their resources or exhaustively searching every single one of the thousands or millions of individual planes for her myself.

…Which I’ll admit I tried, but every time I scattered my kin to search for her, they were all promptly destroyed in some way, whether by adventurers, golems, weird runic mana cannon things…

So much for the easy way. Or easier, I guess.

…

Which leaves me one option.

Eris, I project. What are your terms for joining the dark pantheon?