ALL NOVEL Crusade – Chapter 58: Over the Moon
Caethya bowed her head slightly as her Goddess entered the Void — a name she was not sure she had heard before or simply knew because of her connection to Aperio — and closed the portal behind her. There were a great many things she wanted to ask, but her voice was currently struggling to make itself known. Ever since Aperio had revealed what Caethya assumed to be something closer to her true form, she had felt oddly calm. However, it had also reminded her just who — and what — her Goddess actually was.
Her presence alone demanded respect, something that made speaking all the harder for the young Elf. That she towered over everyone present and had wreathed herself in mana also did not help. Finally, being able to feel and see her Goddess growing stronger with each passing moment had removed the last bit of confidence she had with which to ask what was on her mind.
Throughout all of this, the most surprising thing for Caethya — the thing that lingered most in her thoughts — was that her Goddess did not seem to care that her dress was no longer quite as modest as it once had been. Couldn't she just make it fit perfectly again? She couldn't claim to understand the mind of a Goddess, but in this case Caethya somehow doubted there was much to think about. Not if one wants to continue living, at least. She was certain that unprompted advances would not go over well with Aperio. How do I even know that?
An ethereal sigh that somehow shook her very soul ripped Caethya out of her thoughts and caused her to look at her Goddess. She had summoned her weapon again, absentmindedly twirling it with one hand. As it whirled through the Void on its revolving path, the blade itself somehow cut through the nothingness that was equivalent to air in this place. The slices it left healed almost instantly, but in that fraction of a second the young Elf glimpsed something she did not understand, and which gave her a headache when she tried to focus on it further.
"Are you certain that you do not know where your Dominion is, Ferio?" Aperio asked.
"I am sorry mother, but I truly don't know," Ferio replied. "...I could bring us there? Maybe that would help? But, why does it matter where exactly my Dominion is, anyway?"
That the Goddess of Life and Light was the daughter of the All-Mother was not something Caethya had known. Neither had she known the physical appearance of the Goddess, despite having grown up on Spicor and having attended more than one service performed by her church. A statue really doesn't properly convey her presence.
"I wish to test a theory, one that — if proven successful — would make our search for Vigil much easier."
"Test?" The word had slipped unbidden from Caethya's lips. The idea that the All-Mother had to test anything seemed somehow wrong to her.
In response to her question, Aperio's eyes settled onto the young Elf. The way the gaze seemed to pierce straight to her core caused Caethya to shrink a little. The tiny wisps of mana that danced around the All-Mother seemed to shine a bit brighter, ready to burn anything they touched. A tiny voice in the back of her mind insisted that her life was now forfeit, to be snuffed out by her Goddess for doubting her abilities.
"Yes...test," Aperio said slowly. "There are a few deities that have done something I cannot tolerate; now they are hiding and I do not know where. I have my suspicions, but I will not know for certain without testing it."
Caethya tore her eyes from her Goddess and directed them at the nothing below her feet. Why did I ask? Having the attention of the All-Mother on her felt good in a way, but did things to her that she did not like. Under the Goddess' gaze, she found she couldn't manage to concentrate on any one thing, and even now that she wasn't under such intense scrutiny there was still a strange feeling lingering within her stomach. It distracted her in ways she had never before experienced, pointing out the way muscles slid around under the skin of her Goddess with every move, or the subtle curves when she took on contrapposto poses. It all culminated in a very foreign feeling, one that brought a joy to her mind but still slipped past her understanding to cause confusion.
Already the load on her mind was heavy, but adding to it was the way she also somehow knew her Goddess, knew the way she felt. It was affecting her emotions greatly, and she was about to try to grapple with its meaning again when a warm sensation spread across her cheek, ripping her out of her thoughts. Directly in front of her was her Goddess. With no weapon in sight, her gentle, warm hand pulled away from Caethya's cheek to very carefully brush aside a few strands of her hair. The angle of the elbow, the bends in the nimble fingers, all augmented with mana that flowed to her from the Goddess at every touch; it caused shivers to run down her spine.
Caethya stiffened as she met the eyes of the All-Mother. The pair of irises drew in her attention, seeming to be comprised of flecks of color that slowly danced and revolved around one another and refused to stay still. They were silver, and blue, and all possible shades between, and each time the Goddess blinked they seemed to resolve into a new, fascinating arrangement of color.
"Is something wrong?"
There was a softness to Aperio's voice that Caethya had not heard before. With every word she spoke, a wave of calm spread through her entire being, something that had not happened before. There was also a note of concern present that she had not expected. Why would she care? Of course, she knew that the All-Mother wouldn't just bless anyone, but neither did Caethya understand why she would be concerned for her. She had always assumed Aperio did not care for the lives of mortals, a belief she would have to rectify.
"I-I'm fine," she managed to stammer out.
The All-Mother removed her hand at the comment, causing the trickle of mana that flowed from her hand to cease. Caethya let out a small, shaky breath at the disappearance of the feeling that had raced down her spine. What was that?
Aperio tilted her head slightly as she stood up to her full height again; she had found nothing truly wrong with Caethya's body. The mana that she knew came from her blessing had been calmer than before, more focused on its endless task of improvement. Still, she doubted that that was the reason for the Elf's reaction. As soon as she had focused on Caethya the woman had locked up, and her cheeks had flushed in embarrassment after she had asked a rather innocent question.
"Are you sure?" Aperio inquired, ignoring the light giggle from her daughter. "I do not think that is a normal reaction."
"I think you underestimate the effect you have on people, mother. Especially in your current form."
Aperio frowned and looked down at herself; she could still not see much of a difference besides having gained a bit of height. Perhaps it’s the mana and the glow? A slight, almost imperceptible light did shine from her skin, but she doubted anyone aside from herself, and perhaps Ferio, would be able to even notice. It's certainly not like what happened when I first drew on my well. Back then, the light had had a true radiance to it, looking almost otherworldly.
With a slight rustling, her wings flared out slightly behind her back. They had gained a faint sheen ever since she started drawing on her well again, but not to an extent that Aperio thought would provoke a reaction outside of surprise at the fact that she even had wings to begin with. "What effect do I have on people?"
"Caethya can probably explain that best herself," Ferio said, with what Aperio would describe as a soft tone of mischief in her voice.
The Elven woman took a slight step back as a bit of redness spread to the tips of her ears. She is easily embarrassed, isn't she? Luckily, Aperio herself had long gotten rid of her own feelings of embarrassment. Even if the reasons for that are not pleasant. While she had done so out of necessity before, now she saw no reason to hide herself or be embarrassed about any part of her. But then, not everyone will think like that, will they?
She might have begun to accept what she was and how she would look for the rest of eternity, but the same was likely true for anyone else. I should know that the mind plays tricks on itself. She might have stayed sane through ordeals that would have broken other people, but that had only served to defer the pain that brought until later. Even if nothing in her past could ever occur again, she still had to come to terms with it like anyone else.
"Do I scare you?" Aperio asked. "Or do you simply do not perform well under stress?"
"No, my Goddess," Caethya said, vigorously shaking her head in reply. "I-it's just that whenever I look at you, or you focus your attention on me, I can't think straight. I… I don't know why. It's not panic that hinders me, but a twisting feeling in my stomach. My thoughts run wild, trying to to predict outcomes I somehow know won't happen. I can also feel what you feel, somehow. Right now, you are like a beacon in the dark that guides me to calm waters through the storming thoughts in my head."
She paused and took a deep breath, seemingly steeling herself for what she was about to say. "I do not know where any of this comes from and yes, it scares me. I know it's not something you do on purpose, and yet you are the cause. Your presence alone brings me joy. It also fills me with worries I know are not true but that I still cannot banish from my mind."
Aperio cocked her head to the other side. She had not really experienced any emotion that was in any way similar to what her blessed had described. The only thing she could think of was the inexplicable joy she had felt when her memories of Ferio's youth had returned. There was a feeling lingering at the back of her mind, however, one that told her she knew what this was and how she should respond, but it remained out of reach.
With a sigh, she lowered her head. "You are free to leave if you believe it to be best for you. There is nothing you owe me and I will not force you to follow me." She did not like the idea of sending Caethya away, but neither did she want to be the source of her discomfort. Aperio had hoped she could find a friend in the Elf, someone of her kind. At least, what I used to be. And, perhaps, someone who would treat her like a person instead of worshipping her as the Creator of all they knew.
"Her leaving won't solve this problem," Ferio said, her mouth turning upwards in a smirk. "And no, I will not tell you what I think is causing it. That's something you have to work out yourself."
The outright refusal of answers accompanied by a smirk caused a wave of rage to sweep through Aperio, her Void cloaking everything in darkness for a breath in response. "Fine. The decision is yours Caethya, just know that you are welcome at my side should you choose to stay."
"I don't want to leave," Caethya mumbled.
"Then you stay," Aperio said, startling the Elf. Did she think I did not hear her?
"Yes, I will stay. I want to learn from you, grow stronger. Who could be a better teacher than the one who made everything?"
Aperio gave a wry smile and a brief nod at Caethya's response. I can think of a few. I hope she can figure out why my presence does that to her. The winged Goddess herself could only think of a handful of things that could be the cause, most of which she would rather not like to be true.
"May we enter your Dominion then, Ferio? I still would like to see it before I waste my time on an experiment that is doomed to fail."
"Of course!" Her daughter's words were accompanied by a notification that invited her to Ferio's Dominion. She promptly accepted. Once she had, she saw the same message she had gotten before entering Natio's Dominion. Am I that far beyond the other Gods and Goddesses? The obvious answer was yes, a fact she knew to be true but still was not sure she fully liked.
After a few more moments, Aperio heard Caethya gasp and found herself standing on a red carpet in a brightly lit plaza. What she noticed right after the unnatural softness of the carpet below her bare feet was the warm summer breeze that flowed through her daughter's Dominion, and the fact that the sky was an ever-shifting mirage of yellow, orange, and red. Almost like the sun, she mused.
It was what she had hoped would be the case. If her daughter's Dominion was somehow bound to the place the mortals associated her with, Aperio had little doubt that she could find a way from that location into the Dominion. Never thought I would visit the moons.
She felt no hesitation or trepidation at the thought of leaving the planet to fly to a celestial body, her instincts instead rejoicing at the idea. Perhaps what is beyond will be similar to my Void? Looking at the night's sky certainly revealed a similar image.
"Thank you, Ferio. This is most insightful."
Ferio raised an eyebrow at her statement. "Already done? What were you looking to find anyway?"
"I wanted to know if your Dominion is somehow bound to what the mortals associate you with," Aperio said, gesturing at the sky. "You are known to some as the Goddess of the Sun, are you not?"
Ferio gave a light nod. "Yes; it is a source of light and life, both of my Domains." There was a moment of silence before her daughter's eyes widened a little. "Are you sure my Dominion is somehow bound to this sun? I am known in more worlds than just one."
"Perhaps not," Aperio admitted, ignoring the disgusting feeling rising up in her throat. "But to me it feels like the correct solution. Or at least an idea worth investigating."
"You want to go to the moons?" Caethya asked. "I have heard that Vigil and Inanis built temples for their most devout followers there. I never believed those rumours, though."
Aperio held out her hands to both Ferio and Caethya. "Why do we not go and see for ourselves?"