Futile Love

Chapter 100: Chapter 100

When he said that slowly, she was choked with tears and cried.

As if her tears were precious water, he drank every drop.

“It would be great if you could, ” she said, with an unexpected smile.

They already knew that no matter how earnestly they hoped for it, they couldn’t make it their reality. She embraced him, and he caressed her back.

“Thank you for saying so,” she said.

“You’re welcome. I’m sorry because that’s all I can say at this point,” he said.

Shaking her head, she said, “I’m sorry, too.”

She stretched her upper body and said, “I’m sorry, too, because I couldn’t hold your hand right away and I didn’t have the nerve…”

And then she closed her eyes to forget about her fear and kissed his lips as if she sought comfort.

While kissing her, he caressed her adorably.

They were excited again when they touched.

They wanted to make the most of the time they were together. They couldn’t spend tonight meaninglessly.

As if they were trying to cope with the sadness of their coming separation, they made passionate love again and again. The night was deeper and longer than ever.

***

“Did you sleep well?”

It was amazing to her. When she woke up in the morning, she found him lying next to her in the bed. She never expected she would start the day with his sweet greetings. As she was so choked with emotions, she almost cried.

“Yes, I did. Did you have a good sleep, too? ”

“Yep! I slept very well thanks to you, Kyosul.”

He pulled her arm. He let her sleep under in his arms all night. As he held her close, she touched his chest.

Forgetting her shyness overnight, she tickled his chest with her fingers. Wrapping her in his arms, he touched her shoulder.

The moment she woke up, she felt it was so good to be with him and touch him.

She felt so good that she didn’t need to get up right away and start the day.

The fact that her lover was with her now comforted her so much.

They rolled in the bed all day. As they had nothing to do, they were happy all the more. While they were looking into each other’s eyes, smelling each other’s scents and feeling each other’s warmth, time passed quickly.

The nanny left the breakfast table in front of the door and went away.

There was more food than usual. Though she didn’t talk to the nanny, the latter knew that he was there in her room now.

“How long can you stay?” she asked.

As they made passionate love until the wee hours of the morning, they felt listless and looked at each other while lying on the bed. He stopped touching her hair when she asked.

She sensed immediately that her dreamy time was over, and that it was time he should go back to the palace. She woke up to stern reality again.

He embraced her cheeks with his warm hands.

Ruhae’s touch was cautious, sad and something she wanted to avoid.

In the end, he said, “In fact, I have to go back to the palace urgently and handle lots of work. I have delayed the state civil exam for the fall by 15 days because of my inspection tour in the southern areas.”

“I know.”

She placed her hands on his. Her hands were cold.

Though she reassured herself she would be alright, she was choked with tears.

“I know you’re busy handling state affairs all the time.”

“I’m so sorry to make you aware of that all the time.”

He suddenly hugged her. Hugging her, he squeezed her several times.

No matter how much and how often he hugged her, he felt that was not enough.

Above all, he didn’t feel good because he knew she had to wait for him again.

He didn’t want to be perceived as a bad guy by her, but things didn’t work out as he wished when it came to their relationship.

Yesterday was such a happy day.

It was an unexpected gift for her, so yesterday was all the more precious to her.

When the day broke, he snuck out of the villa.

After he left, she told the nanny that she would return to the palace.

The nanny prepared for her departure without delay and made sure she could leave around noon.

“Long live the Crown Princess! We all wish you a safe journey back to the palace!”

When she was about to leave, all the court ladies of the villa came out to see her off.

She got into the sedan chair, greeted by them as they stood in the yard.

When the door was closed, several young court ladies whispered among themselves.

“Since the Crown Prince left the villa, she has felt lonely all along. I hope you can arrive at the palace and meet him as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I can imagine how much she wanted to go back to the palace!”

“She must be so happy now!”

Even inside the sedan chair she overheard them whispering.

Hearing their gossip, she felt unpleasant.

She wanted to refute their delusional gossip talks but couldn’t.

She had to make sure they did not catch her loving Ruhae under any circumstances.

The sedan chair carried her slowly away from the villa in Kongrimok. Inside the shaking sedan chair, she thought about Ruhae who already passed through this road on a horse after sneaking out of the villa.

‘I’m going to see him at the imperial palace.’

She wanted to see him again soon, but at the same time she was reluctant to meet him.

She opened the small window of the sedan chair, stuck her head out and looked back.

The villa down the hill was already far behind.

The time she spent at the villa seemed to fade away like the villa that was slowly disappearing in the distance. Her heart ached while she was looking back at the villa.

***

It was one day in the middle of autumn when the wind was quite cold.

Boo boo boo, boo boo, boo… … .

While three men were barely holding the horn as big as a 10-year-old child, one of them blew it strongly. The big sound was strong and soft enough to spread out to every corner of the palace.

When they heard the horn ringing, the big crowd gathered in front of the gates of the palace shouted for joy. Purely rejoicing, they lay face down on the ground and shouted at the top of their voices.

“Long live the Emperor! We celebrate your birthday!”

“Long live the Queen! We celebrate your birthday!”

“Long live the Emperor!”

“Long live the Queen!!”

“May God bless you!”

That day was the birthday of Emperor Ohyulje and Queen Taeryong.

There were two fixed national holidays and three unfixed national holidays in the Mok Kingdom.

The founding day of the Mok Kingdom was the first fixed national holiday, and the second one was the previous Emperor’s birthday, who made the Mok Kingdom a great empire and brought about great prosperity and peace to the people. The three unfixed holidays were the birthday of the current Emperor, the Queen and the Crown Princess.

On Emperor Ohyulje’s birthday the kingdom held festivals across the country for a whole month. During this period, everybody had a great time without being forced to work. Merchants gave a big discount, giving away all kinds of junk and snacks to any passersby on the streets. If things went out of control, the whole kingdom could be plunged into chaos, but the people were diligent and restrained, so there were no big accidents during the festive days.

One week after Ohyulje’s birthday was that of Queen Taeryong. As the holidays overlapped with one only a week apart, the festival was more colorful and grander than any other emperor’s birthday.

On that day, all the kings of the minor kingdoms neighboring the Mok Kingdom were invited to the banquet, where all the royal people who carried on the bloodline of the family last name “Danmok” gathered in one place. And for the next two weeks after that, they began to accept the foreign delegations who came to celebrate the birthday.

Emperor Ohyulje was 56 years old and was nearing his 30th year of rule.

As she spent the previous night so absent-mindedly among the royal members, Kyosul felt listless on the bed the next day. At her side were Concubine Sassi, who she literally regarded as her mother, and Princess Kyoyoung, who gazed at her with a smile. In fact, she was exhausted after meeting and greeting the members of the royal family who all lived outside the imperial palace.

“It looks like she was scared a lot. They are notorious for feeling jealous of those living inside the palace,” said Sassi to Kyosul, lifting a teacup from the snack tray gracefully.

Chuckling at her, Kyoyoung caressed her hands and said, “Please cheer up. It doesn’t look like good if you continue to stay in bed. Weren’t you happy when you met them first?”