Futile Love

Chapter 24: Chapter 24

Kyoyoung, who had been sitting on a cushioned mat, quickly stood up, bowed to her and yielded her seat to her. Sitting on the cushioned mat on which Kyoyoung sat only a moment ago, Kyosul opened her mouth with a smile, “As you have always come to see me first, I’ve decided to see you first this time.”

“Thanks so much for your consideration, Your Highness. Have you recovered?”

“Oh, I’m fully recovered now. I am not physically weak by nature. I was so alarmed by the Crown Prince’s stern look and conduct that I just couldn’t speak up.”

When Kyosul gave her an awkward smile, Kyoyoung also smiled after her.

Kyoyoung’s smile was always kind. Though she was one year older than Kyosul, her smile looked much more mature and always embraced Kyosul like a kind-hearted elder sister. Today, she looked a bit gloomy.

“Kyoyoung, are you uncomfortable today?”

At Kyosul’s asking, she shivered suddenly and lowered her head with a frown. “Your Highness Kyosul, I just don’t know what to do now.”

When Kyoyoung, who was smiling a kind smile a minute ago, was close to tears, Kyosul was embarrassed and held her hands after putting aside the desk between them.

“Kyoyoung, what’s wrong with you? What happened?”

“Crown Princess, I think of you as my friend.”

“Yes, me, too. I also regard you as my friend.”

“So what?”

“Then…”

Kyoyoung raised her head now, full of tears in her eyes.

“As you know, the Crown Prince has never entered the top gate of Dongbin Palace where your residence is located. But several days after I was on my way back after chatting with you, I heard that he visited the palace last week.”

She was talking about the day that Bipaan suddenly visited Kyosul at Dongbin Palace over the wild rumor about Kyosul and Ruhae.

Having heard Kyoyoung’s explanation, Kyosul flinched for a moment heartbroken. Without knowing how Kyosul felt about it, she continued to confess, “When I heard that rumor, my heart was broken so much that I became jealous of you again. How can I come and see you with this kind of disrespectful attitude? That’s why I couldn’t bring myself to come and see you. Please forgive me, Your Highness.”

Kyoyoung was done talking. Kyosul didn’t reply, with her mouth shut for a while. That day Bipaan came to see her out of anger. Who could have known it without both of them who were inside? Accordingly, the rumor spread among court ladies that Bipaan visited the Crown Princess that day. Indeed, there were a lot who kept an eye on their every move.

Hesitating for a moment, Kyosul stroke her hand and said, “It seems you miss His Excellency, the Crown Prince a lot.”

Kyoyoung blushed. She was born as the daughter of the Emperor’s right-hand man and grew up pampered and indulged in a strict home. Bipaan, the Crown Prince, was the first man that she met in her life. Bipaan was very handsome and tall. Even his heartless character made him stand out all the more. That’s why Kyoyoung had a crush on him.

Though he had never hugged her and it was so hard even for her to bump into him in the palace, Kyoyoung still missed him so much.

Looking at her flushed face, Kyosul said with a bitter smile, “In fact, I was scolded by the Crown Prince that day. I just incurred his anger as I ran around the palace.”

“Oh dear!”

Kyoyoung opened her eyes wide with surprise at Kyosul’s confession. Kyosul stared at her bluntly. The woman before Kyosul was graceful and faithful. Tender-eyed, she was slender and tall, with a strong image of an intellectual and strong-willed personality. The type of faithful woman that Bipaan always talked about could be none other than Kyoyoung, she thought.

“I really….” Kyosul said in a blurry voice. “I really envy you, Kyoyoung. Seriously.”

“How can Kyosul, the Crown Princess, envy a woman like me? That’s nonsense, Your Highness!”

Embarrassed by her compliment, Kyoyoung lowered her head.

Shaking her head from side to side, Kyosul pulled her hand and said, “Seriously. I envy you. When I look at your attitude and your frame of mind, you look really kind-hearted and generous, which I really envy. I would like to take my cues from you, but I’m afraid I can’t.”

“How can you say that? I think it’s because you are not yet accustomed to the palace life of the Mok Kingdom. I think you can set the example much better than me.”

Kyoyoung comforted her. She even put her hand on hers and patted it.

Looking at her, Kyosul barely opened her mouth, “I’ve got a secret.”

Her heart began to beat loudly. She was worried she might make the improper remark.

“Please make yourself at home now and talk to me. There is nothing you and I can’t talk about as we’re close.”

Kyoyoung pressed on her with a soft voice.

“You and I already shared our bitter experiences of having been deserted by the Crown Prince on the wedding night. I even confessed to you about my shameful jealousy of you, as you know.”

Reminding Kyosul that she already shared her own secrets with her, Kyoyoung reassured her.

Looking at Kyoyoung’s benevolent eyes, Kyosul began to reel off her secrets freely.

“I really feel like I can’t love the Crown Prince…”

Kyoyoung stopped patting her hand at that moment. In fact, Kyoyoung was really serious when she met Kyosul to tell her how resentful she felt about Bipaan’s alleged visit to her residence out of jealousy back then. She thought if she confessed, Kyosul would do the same. As it turned out, Kyosul made a much more surprising confession than she expected.

Kyoyoung was confused momentarily after hearing her confession. Pausing for a moment, Kyoyoung intentionally patted her hand again and asked back, “What the heck are you talking about?”

Still smiling bitterly, Kyosul continued, “In fact, the reason I was sick in bed was that my heart was broken by the fact that I couldn’t love the Crown Prince. I really can’t accept his indifference to me. How can I accept him who doesn’t show any emotion or feeling at all? I just feel he is scary and I feel sorry for him.”

While confessing, Kyosul shook her head from side to side. Kyoyoung thought she was serious, given her distressed expression on her face. What she confessed was so shocking and alarming, but it was true.

Kyoyoung swallowed dryly, and she got goosebumps all over her body. She was embarrassed and at the same time disturbed how to take her shocking confession.

How foolish! She is too immature and innocent to survive in this palace.

Though it was funny for Kyosul to mention about her lack of love about the Crown Prince, it was all the more foolish and imprudent for her to confess her genuine feelings about him. Having heard her confession, Kyoyoung felt she could see several moves ahead.

She was Bipaan’s second wife. When she got married, the position of the official wife of the Crown Prince had yet to be filled by another woman, which made Kyoyoung feel shameful. Kyoyoung suffered the humiliation of accepting the position of the Crown Prince’s second wife. Nonetheless, she had to be content with just missing him while having secret troubles.

When she heard that a little woman from the Hwa Kingdom would be his official wife, she grieved. To her surprise, this little woman, who was superior to her in rank, was more immature than expected. When she went to the trouble of seeing Kyosul, pocketing her pride, she could immediately size up her vulnerabilities.

And now she could confirm her vulnerabilities once more.

“Don’t worry, Your Highness. It’s because you are too young to deal with the Crown Prince properly.”

Giving her a kind smile in no time, Kyoyoung soothed her troubled mind. She felt a sense of relief after having heard from Kyosul that she couldn’t love the Crown Prince.

“I just can’t understand His Highness Crown Prince’s remarks, I don’t need your love.

If he has that frame of mind, why did he get married to me? If he had to fill the position of his official wife, it’s just meaningless.”

Was it because Kyosul already decided to speak? She didn’t hesitate to say what she had in mind. Her view of a wedding was clear-cut. To her, a wedding was the act of a man and a wife promising each other to share their love and keep piling up their endless love throughout their lives. But the moment she crossed into a foreign country to get married to a man whose face she didn’t know, Kyosul realized that she set foot in a totally different world from the one she used to know.

“So, this is what I’m going to do,” said Kyosul, clearing her throat, who had been complaining about the Crown Prince until now. After thinking and agonizing while she was confined in her room in Dongbi Palace, she reached a conclusion.

“As I have become his official wife now, I am going to carry out what I think is the right duty as the wife of the Crown Prince.”