Genshin Impact: Villain Life Simulator

"Charging Fist!" 

Lucas raised his glowing fist and smashed it into the spiked mace. The sheer force shattered the mace instantly, and the energy from his punch surged like a wild beast, sending the Hilichurl flying.

With a thud, the Hilichurl crashed into a tree and fainted, muttering something barely audible that sounded like…

"So good…"

Wait, was this some kind of masochist Hilichurl tribe?

"Amazing!" 

Fischl suddenly emerged from the bushes, exclaiming before quickly regaining her composure. She tried to act nonchalant and said, "N-no surprise, given that you're the familiar I've chosen."

"Well, let's borrow their outfits for now," Lucas said, hesitating slightly as he removed one of the Hilichurls' masks.

He had hesitated because he feared that such a well-proportioned body might be paired with a grotesque face, which would be a real shock.

But to his surprise, the face beneath the mask looked almost entirely human, except for two long, rabbit-like ears on top of her head.

Curious, Lucas tugged gently at one of the ears. The unconscious Hilichurl flinched slightly, indicating it was real.

So, these weren't fake…

But why had Hilichurls transformed into this?

"What are you doing, standing there?" Fischl's voice broke his train of thought. "Didn't you say we'd disguise ourselves as Hilichurls?"

When Lucas turned around, he saw that Fischl had already changed into one of the Hilichurl outfits.

However, the oversized spiked mace seemed too heavy for her to carry, and more awkwardly, the chest wraps worn by the Hilichurls were far too loose on Fischl, whose figure wasn't as well-endowed.

As expected… she couldn't fill it out…

"Hey…" Fischl suddenly squinted her eyes. "You're not thinking something rude, are you?"

"N-no, nothing like that!" Lucas quickly changed the subject. "But, Prinzessin, your skin tone doesn't quite match these Hilichurls'. Couldn't that be a problem?"

Indeed, while the Hilichurls had a tanned complexion, Fischl's skin was fair and pale, making the contrast rather obvious.

"Don't underestimate an investigator's preparations," Fischl said, pulling out a bottle that resembled foundation from her belt. "This is camouflage paint. It can temporarily change the color of my skin."

As she spoke, she applied some of the paint to her arm, instantly turning her snow-white skin into a shade of light brown.

It made sense that an investigator like Fischl would carry such tools for disguise.

"My familiar, accept the first command from your Prinzessin," Fischl said with a slightly embarrassed expression. "Help me… apply it to my back."

The camouflage paint was only applied to exposed skin, and since Hilichurl outfits consisted of a chest wrap and skirt, Fischl's back was mostly exposed. With no way to reach her own back, and without Oz to assist, she had no choice but to ask Lucas for help.

Lucas didn't overthink it. He grabbed the paint and began applying it to Fischl's smooth, pale back.

"G-gently!" Fischl blushed. "Though I'm powerful, my mortal body is still quite sensitive."

Despite her strong words, the rough sensation of his fingers brushing against her skin sent shivers through her, like an electric current running down her spine.

Not that ordinary electricity would affect someone like Fischl, who had an Electro Vision.

"Uh…" Lucas asked suddenly. "Do I need to apply it under the chest wrap as well?"

"D-don't even think about it!" Fischl stammered. "It's fine—nothing will show through the wrap."

Lucas agreed; besides, it felt inappropriate to even ask something like that.

And so, the two of them finished their "odd" Hilichurl disguises—one with a strong, muscular build, and the other much more slender.

Fortunately, both wore the Hilichurls' oversized masks, making their appearance less conspicuous.

Now, they could only hope the Hilichurls weren't clever enough to see through their "poor" disguise.

Mimicking the Hilichurls' unique, clumsy walking pattern, the two made their way to the entrance of the camp.

Just as Fischl had said, the camp was well hidden but much larger than most Hilichurl camps. The two female Hilichurls guarding the entrance didn't seem to notice anything odd about the "unusual" pair in front of them and nodded, allowing them in.

Inside, the camp didn't look much different from a typical Hilichurl camp, aside from being cleaner. Not far away, animals like boars were enclosed in a pen, and if it weren't for the large Hilichurl totem in the center, the place might have been mistaken for a peaceful, remote village.

"This place is strange…" Fischl whispered, scanning the area. "Why are there only female Hilichurls here?"

Generally, Hilichurls didn't have obvious gender distinctions, and some scholars even believed they didn't have genders at all, as no one had ever observed them reproducing.

Fischl thought that even if these Hilichurls had mutated into humanoid forms, there should still be both males and females. Yet, so far, they hadn't seen a single male.

As a transmigrator, Lucas knew that most Hilichurls were originally the cursed remnants of Khaenri'ah, an ancient civilization destroyed 500 years ago. These cursed people had been transformed into the Hilichurl-like creatures wandering Teyvat.

Hilichurls didn't truly die in the conventional sense. If killed, they would return to the ley lines and eventually "revive" through them.

In other words, the Hilichurls wandering Teyvat today were all over 500 years old.

So, the transformation of these Hilichurls into humanoid forms wasn't exactly a mutation. It was more like a form of atavism.

(AN: Atavism = reappearance of a characteristic in an organism after several generations of absence.)

Suddenly, a loud horn echoed through the camp. One of the Hilichurls lowered the horn and shouted, "The chief, come out! The men, newly caught, bring them up!"

At this, all the Hilichurls in the camp immediately stopped what they were doing and lined up in two rows, bowing their heads respectfully.

Seeing this, Lucas and Fischl quickly blended in with the others.

From the largest building in the camp emerged a tall female Hilichurl, easily over 175 cm (AN: 5'9).

Her feminine features were even more pronounced, and even the smallest of her movements as she walked caused quite a distracting sight for Lucas.

So, this was the chief?

Could it be that this tribe chose its chief based on… size? The bigger, the higher the rank?

That would fit the simple-minded nature of Hilichurls, after all.

The chief raised her arm and shouted, "Bring the men up!"

Lucas, glancing over, couldn't help but notice—nice armpits.

Although Hilichurls had thick hair on their heads, their bodies were mostly hairless.

Moments later, several men with their hands and feet bound were pushed forward by other Hilichurls. Among them were Zhang Luo and the rest of the convoy members.

So, they really were captured by these Hilichurls!

However, Lucas knew that these men, though lacking Visions, were skilled fighters. They shouldn't have been overpowered so easily by Hilichurls.

Could it be that these Hilichurls had not only changed in appearance but also gained strength?

But what was the purpose of capturing these men?

Were they to be used as food? That seemed unlikely—there had never been any reports of Hilichurls eating human flesh.

Were they going to be used as slaves? Also doubtful, as there had been no signs of human enslavement in the camp.

Could they be meant for some kind of sacrifice?

The female chief walked among the captured men, much like someone inspecting watermelons at a fruit stall. She even patted a few of them before shaking her head in disappointment.

"These men… not strong enough," she said in broken human speech. "Give you chance. All of you fight me. Win, and go free."

The men exchanged glances. The reason they had lost earlier was due to being vastly outnumbered. Now, it was a one-on-one fight, and their opponent was just one Hilichurl. Naturally, they all agreed.

After the men were untied, the chief pointed to a weapons rack nearby and said, "Pick what you want. Don't disappoint me."

Her words were dripping with provocation. The seven or eight men, except for Zhang Luo, who didn't know how to fight, grabbed spiked maces, axes, and other weapons, then surrounded the chief.

Luckily, the chief had darker skin while the human men were fair-skinned. Otherwise, Lucas might have been reminded of a certain visual contrast best left unexplored.

These men had been trained in Keqing's martial arts school and had plenty of combat experience. They exchanged glances and then moved in unison.

"Attack!"

As soon as the command was given, the seven or eight skilled men launched a coordinated attack on the female chieftain.

Their timing and angles were perfect, moving in unison with impressive synchronization. The chieftain had no room to evade.

"Hmph!"

Without hesitation, the chieftain raised her enormous spiked club and swung it around in a wide arc. "Taste my big spiked club!"

The sheer force of her swing created a shockwave, blasting all her attackers backward with a loud thud. 

Though the men were trained fighters, they were still ordinary humans and couldn't withstand such monstrous strength. Before they could react, they were thrown back and knocked unconscious.

Indeed, as the saying goes, overwhelming strength can defeat even the most skilled techniques. In the face of absolute power, no amount of skill mattered.

"Disappointing, utterly disappointing," the chieftain muttered, shaking her head as she swung her giant club. "Take them away."

The other Hilichurls immediately jumped into action, dragging the defeated men away. Zhang Luo, who hadn't participated in the fight, shouted, "Chief! Please spare us! Our master will pay a hefty ransom, I—" Thud!

One of the Hilichurls, irritated by his shouting, knocked him out with a club.

Well, that escalated quickly…

Lucas began calculating his chances of defeating these Hilichurls and escaping unharmed. While the ordinary Hilichurls didn't seem too threatening, the chieftain was a different story—her strength was on par with some of the higher-level Genshin characters.

It seemed he needed a different approach.

Perhaps poisoning them, knocking them all unconscious, and then escaping with the captives?

For someone like Lucas, who preferred to avoid unnecessary conflict, this was the most straightforward plan.

He opened the shop's "Poison" section, and a list of strange names appeared: Smiling Half-Step Death, Seven-Day Certain Death Pill, Yin-Yang Harmony Powder, I Love a Little Stick… Wait, what the heck are these?

Lucas hesitated, wondering what kind of strange effects the last two might have if given to the Hilichurls.

After some thought, he decided to purchase a large bag of Monghan Medicine, a knockout powder. His plan was to drug the Hilichurls, knock them out, and then call in the Millelith to handle the situation.

Although the Hilichurls hadn't shown any intention to kill, their habit of kidnapping humans was still a serious problem.

"Start the fire!"

With a command from the chieftain, a large cauldron was placed in the center of the camp. This was part of the Hilichurl tribe's unique "cuisine," similar to a hotpot.

Simply put, the Hilichurls would take turns throwing ingredients they had gathered into the pot to be cooked together.

As for how it tasted… given the randomness of the ingredients, it probably wasn't anything special.

One by one, the Hilichurls lined up, tossing their ingredients into the pot.

There were some relatively normal ingredients like pork legs, pigeon meat, tomatoes, corn, and potatoes. Then there were the odd ones like apples, raspberries, and crystallized cores. One even threw a rock into the pot.

When it was Lucas's turn, he hesitated for a moment, then discreetly tossed in a packet of powder, hidden among some lettuce leaves.

However, the sharp-eyed chieftain noticed and asked in her deep, rumbling voice, "What did you throw… in there?"

"Seasoning! Human seasoning. Tastes good!" Lucas mimicked the Hilichurls' broken speech.

To his surprise, the chieftain didn't seem suspicious. In fact, she nodded approvingly and said, "You have… good ideas. I like. Too bad… you are female."

Lucas broke into a cold sweat.

Uh… you don't have any men in this camp anyway…

Soon, the peculiar Hilichurl hotpot was ready. Even without the knockout powder, the sight of the purple-foaming stew was enough to make Lucas lose his appetite.

As the Hilichurls gathered to eat, they took off their masks. This allowed Lucas to finally see their faces.

Just like the two Hilichurls he had knocked out earlier, these Hilichurls all had human-like female faces. However, their features weren't as sharp as those of Mondstadt residents or as delicate as those from Liyue. Instead, their appearance had an exotic touch, and their tanned skin didn't seem to have evolved from the original dark Hilichurl skin but looked more like their natural complexion.

Their grasp of the human language didn't seem to be something they had learned recently. It felt like they already knew it but had become rusty from not using it for so long.

The Hilichurls devoured the overcooked meat and washed it down with rough, homemade liquor, seeming entirely unbothered by their mutated bodies. In fact, they appeared quite content.

It was said that Hilichurls wore masks because they feared seeing their distorted, ugly reflections in water.

But now, they seemed to have no such concerns.

If not for the fact that they kidnapped humans, Lucas would have been reluctant to disturb the peaceful life they had here, far away from civilization.

However, perhaps because of their strong physiques, the effects of the knockout powder hadn't kicked in yet.

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Author's Note: Conflict with fatui coming soon