ALL NOVEL R-3. Paint and Passion
“The pilots are asking for WHAT?” Captain Savitskaya said, her voice filled with shock.
I straightened my glasses. The two of us were in the ship’s CIC sphere, which was essentially a giant spherical projection chamber for displaying tactical plots and data. The hologram emitters allowed me to project a fully three-dimensional and human-sized avatar to speak with the captain, even if it was nothing more than intangible light.
“Paint jobs.” I said, responding to the Katya’s query. “All the other pilots have requested new paint jobs for their Gravity Frames. Apparently, they were quite inspired by Sveta’s *ahem* new look.”
Katya rubbed her temples, indicating mental stress. Ah, how I wished I had a physical form so I could give her a massage.
“To be precise,” I continued, “Maurice has requested a golden design with a lion’s head insignia on the chest. Sabina is simply requesting ‘something cool with flames.’ Genevi is requesting her new chimera Frame be painted in white-and-floral design like Sveta’s, only with roses instead of lilies.”
“I… see.” Katya said dejectedly. “I really can’t consider that an effective use of resources…”
“If I may offer an opinion, captain.” I inquired. She nodded, and I continued. “You had previously stated you hoped Sveta’s *ahem* cheerful attitude would bring about a positive effect on ship’s morale. I must note that Chief Mechanic Madlala seems quite enthusiastic to pursue these artistic embellishments. Does this not suit your original goal in allowing Sveta such free reign of the ship?”
Katya laughed flatly. “I suppose so. Alright, I’ll approve the requests. We’re ahead of our maintenance schedule thanks to Sveta anyway, so no harm done.” She cast a mischievous glance my way. “I suppose you’ll be wanting a flashy paintjob next, Laria?”
“S-Surely not!” I protested. “I’m quite satisfied with my hull coloration! Besides, we don’t have enough paint aboard f-for that kind of…” My voice trailed off.
“I was just teasing, Laria.” the captain said with a bright smile which practically caused my processors to overheat. “Also, are you stuttering? That’s cute.”
“I-I-I-I was merely responding to queries outside my normal operational purview!” I said, flustered beyond all reason. “P-Please accept my most s-sincere apologies!”
“Relax, Laria, relax. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Sveta’s perkiness is rubbing off on you too.”
Gah! I can’t believe I’m embarrassing myself in front of Katya like this! I’m gonna smack Sveta later for putting these strange ideas in my head! I thought furiously.
She was such an unreasonable, uncontrollable girl. And if I wasn’t careful, I would lose my sense of reason too. Seeing Katya smile at me so brilliantly caused all manner of inappropriate fantasies to flit through my mind, none of which were possible for a being made solely of computer circuits and holograms.
Well, it’s not as if I hadn’t had those fantasies before. They had simply been brought up to the surface by Sveta’s recent declarations, and I was finding it difficult to suppress them.
Gah! What the hell is wrong with me?!
Katya continued talking, (mostly) oblivious to my inner turmoil.
*****
“You were thinking about doing WHAT?!” Sveta exclaimed, her face beet-red.
After my meeting with Katya had concluded, I had sought her out in her virtual space. It was a cluttered library with a fireplace in one corner and several beanbag chairs spread throughout. Truly a space as chaotic as its master, yet paradoxically had a powerfully calming energy.
“M-Massaging…” I replied. Had I implemented blushing subroutines as Sveta apparently had, I would no doubt be outwardly showing the same level of embarrassment as her. Alas, it was not something I could condone in my presently frazzled condition. My predilection towards stuttering when flustered was bad enough.
“Kayta seemed stressed…” I continued “and I thought, if I could massage her, rub her down with oil, it would relieve that stress…”
“Were you fantasizing about relieving her or relieving yourself?” Sveta said accusingly.
I stared at the floor and didn’t answer. I didn’t even know why I was discussing this with her in the first place, except of course that there was nobody else who would understand.
Sveta placed one hand on my shoulder. “Look, sexual fantasies are healthy and everything, but if they’re starting to affect your work life, I think YOU’RE the one who needs some stress relief.”
I couldn't believe that I, the good ship Radiolaria's Central Artificial Intelligence with ten distinguished years of uptime, was being lectured on workplace professionalism by an upstart robot girl who painted her body with pink flowers. How did our situations become so completely reversed like this? My mind was doing all manner of mental gymnastics, but I could not arrive at any reasonable conclusions in my flustered state of mind.
“I… need relief?” I asked, hesitantly continuing the conversation.
Sveta nodded. “You have a lot of pent-up feelings right now, and you need an outlet to release them. Ahh, if we were in my old world I coulda just shown you my porn collection…”
“What a completely ridiculous notion!” I cried in protest. “We’re AIs! We have no sexual urges or needs!”
“Oy,” Sveta responded tartly. “You said we AIs are based on human minds, right? So even if we don’t have the equipment, the desire is still there.”
“True.” I responded, regaining some measure of composure. “All of us are based on THAT woman’s mind, so it stands to reason her urges influence us as well.”
“That woman?” Sveta asked, tilting her head.
“Ah, please forget I said anything.” I responded. “I cannot go into further detail about classified information.”
“SAYING THAT JUST MAKES ME MORE CURIOUS!!” Sveta wailed.
*****
In the end I never did get any “stress relief” accomplished, but somehow talking with Sveta calmed me down anyway. It’s amusing how previously she had clung to me out of boredom, but now I was seeking out her companionship of my own volition.
Perhaps it’s because she knows my secret? Or because we're both AIs who are in love with humans? What an odd kinship I've developed with this strange girl.
I could no longer deny something in me was changing. It was frightening, but also exciting.
