ALL NOVEL Chapter 103
Chapter 103. Things Will Explode (3)
A cold silence settled in the office. Suho couldn’t easily bring himself to speak. Hajin wouldn’t joke about something like this, and most of all, the countless déjà vu moments swirling in his mind were validating Hajin’s words.
“So, to summarize what you’re saying. You got a mission to complete the third competition safely with Yugeon… but everything was fine until the third episode aired, and because of this incident, Yugeon ended up quitting the program. You went back in time again, but you still couldn’t stop Yugeon from leaving, and you kept…”
Hajin sighed deeply and nodded as Suho tried to calmly piece together the situation. After letting out his emotions once, he felt he had regained some composure.
“The only good thing is that I keep returning to this morning. I don’t even know if I should call that fortunate…”
From Suho’s perspective, it seemed like Hajin had completely lost his ability to make rational decisions. Although Suho was hesitant to say anything, knowing so little himself, it was clear that Hajin was not in a state to view things objectively.
“Hajin.”
“…No matter what I do, nothing changes. No matter how many times I talk, no matter how many times we have the same conversation, I always wake up to this morning. Even if a day passes, or a week goes by, as soon as Yugeon quits, it’s back to this morning. That damned Chosen Regressor, I swear, if I ever meet him, I’ll kill—”
“Hajin. Kang Hajin! Look at me. Breathe. You’re not even breathing properly right now!”
Suho grabbed Hajin’s hand firmly as he tried to sink back into his own thoughts.
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Something flashed and disappeared quickly before Hajin’s eyes. Startled, he shuddered as if waking from a dream.
“Are you okay? For now, let’s go to the hospital… No, no, wait. Going to the hospital won’t solve this…”
Suho had cared for idols who had suffered panic attacks, but he had never dealt with one who had lost their mind due to infinite regressions. When he was at a loss on how to handle the situation, Hajin finally spoke, his voice much more composed.
“Sorry… I must’ve scared you. I’m fine now.”
“Fine? Do you even know what you just looked like?”
“Like a madman, I know.”
Hajin wiped his face repeatedly with his hand, as if trying to brush away what had happened. The emotional Hajin from just a moment ago had disappeared, as if he had a different personality.
“It’s hard to explain in detail. I feel like you’d really think I’m insane.”
“You should’ve let go of that thought the moment you said you had the same conversation over 12 times. We’ve already been through this before. Tell me, I have the right to know your condition.”
“…”
Suho spoke firmly, determined to understand Hajin’s exact condition. After hesitating for a moment, Hajin finally began to explain slowly.
“When you first gained that ability, you said you thought you were crazy and even sought counseling, right?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s similar. If I accept the fact that I’m being regressed multiple times, I’d go insane, so I’ve deliberately blocked off some of my emotions and reasoning. But because of this incident, there’s been a bit of a problem, so now I occasionally lose control of my emotions.”
Hajin added that he hadn’t anticipated these side effects in his mental care. Until now, it had only been that he became overly sensitive and burst into tears at random moments.
“It’s not usually this bad. Given the current situation… once this problem is resolved, I’ll figure out a solution. I’ve held it together until now, but when the same situation keeps repeating—”
“Hajin, Hajin. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m not grilling you about your condition. I’m not saying I need to know your condition to check if you’re still mentally fit to be an idol or anything.”
“…”
“I just need to understand the situation fully so I can figure out how to help you. I’m worried about you too.”
“…Okay.”
“You’re sure you’re okay? No, saying you’re okay doesn’t seem right anymore. But at least, can you still think rationally?”
In response to Suho’s cautious question, Hajin nodded. Suho chewed on the remaining ice in his coffee, rolled up his sleeves, and began to gather his thoughts.
“It’s tough, but there must be a way. For now, neither I nor the production team want Yugeon to quit. The company sees great potential in him, and PD Kwon said that reacting to this fake controversy would only make things worse, so he opposed it. It seems like they’re also feeling some responsibility for the current situation.”
This meant that as long as Yugeon could hold it together, there would be no external factors forcing him to leave.
Hajin clasped his hands together and bent forward, looking deep in thought. It was a posture reminiscent of someone in prayer.
“But Yugeon himself insists on quitting no matter what… I have no more words to persuade him. Do you know what I almost did?”
“…What?”
“I almost grabbed a knife and threatened him. Told him that if he quit and ran away, I’d kill myself.”
“What? You—”
“Just in my imagination. The moment I picked up the knife, I regressed again.”
He said it as if it was no big deal, but it was certainly not something insignificant.
“Was there… nothing else to go on? Let’s think again. There might be something you missed because of your fear of regression. You must have gathered a lot of data with all those attempts.”
“…Nothing specific. The only thing I’ve learned is what you just told me. That someone maliciously posted a fabricated article about Yugeon. I only noticed that after about… five regressions.”
Suho, who thought there was nothing left to surprise him, understood the implication behind Hajin’s words and stared at him. Hajin shrugged his shoulders as if it was no big deal and straightened up.
“Everything seemed to move suspiciously quickly, didn’t it? The production team, the company staff… It’s all the result of me going through this more than ten times. At some point, things just started falling into place without me even needing to intervene.”
Hajin mumbled something about the repeated regressions fixing the events, but Suho couldn’t quite grasp that part. What was clear was that the reason they could respond to Yugeon’s rumors so quickly was all thanks to Hajin.
Suho found a clue there. These were things Hajin, who had repeated today countless times, had missed.
“Hajin, listen carefully. I don’t really understand regression… or whatever that is. But let’s focus on the current situation. Most of the external factors concerning Yugeon have already been addressed.”
“…”
“If, as you said, the response to this issue had been delayed, and the explanations hadn’t been made properly, things might have been different. But thanks to your efforts, it’s not as serious as it could have been. The company is treating it like a routine scandal.”
When the issue first arose.
In the countless ‘todays’ that only Hajin remembered.
Back then, the situation might have been serious enough to push Yugeon to quit.
Perhaps the company could have used Yugeon’s behavior or tarnished image as an excuse to demand his resignation, or the production team might have missed the golden time to issue a clarification.
But the ‘today’ Suho was experiencing wasn’t like that.
“What I mean is, the situation isn’t serious enough for Yugeon to be so adamant about quitting. Of course, Yugeon might have been shocked by the situation where his family was being criticized. But even that will be resolved once the legal side of things is addressed.”
“…I’ve already told him all that. But once he’s made up his mind, there’s no way to stop him. I can’t just tell him to put up with the criticism so I don’t have to regress, can I?”
“Exactly, that’s the point. Let’s rethink that.”
Suho pointed to that exact moment.
“The situation has calmed down this much, so why does Yugeon still want to quit?”
“…What?”
“You said it yourself earlier. As you repeated the same thing, some events started to happen naturally.”
“…”
Hajin’s rigid expression wavered at Suho’s words.
“Could Yugeon’s decision to quit also be influenced by something like that? And as you keep trying to convince him in the same way, his resolve just gets stronger.”
“Even though it wasn’t the same method…”
“I’m talking about the fundamental reason behind your actions. Your reason for stopping Yugeon from quitting. You said earlier, ‘To stop the regression, I need to stop Yugeon from quitting.’”
“…”
“Do you really think that? If it weren’t for the regression, would you not care if Yugeon quit?”
For the first time, Hajin looked back at his own behavior.
What have I been like all this time? What was my attitude when I tried to stop Yugeon from quitting?
“Yugeon might seem carefree, but he’s actually very perceptive. Do you think he didn’t notice that you and the other team members weren’t thrilled about him?”
“…”
It was
true.
Looking back, when Hajin tried to persuade Yugeon to stay, he hadn’t considered Yugeon’s feelings or perspective. He was just consumed by the fear of regressing if Yugeon left.
He hadn’t acknowledged the wounds or fears that Yugeon might have been dealing with because of this situation, only emphasizing how irresponsible and selfish it was for him to quit.
Because…
‘Responsibility was Yugeon’s appeal point.’
Now that the fog had lifted and he was talking to Suho with a clearer mind, Hajin realized something.
‘Judging and treating people solely based on a status window is absurd.’
The system screen was just that—a system.
And even then, he hadn’t fully understood all the skills. He was still a low-level beginner.
So with what arrogance did he think he had completely figured out Yugeon?
The emotions he had unleashed on Yugeon without filtering, when he was unable to properly control his feelings—what were they really?
“Let’s take it slow and try again. Now that you seem to have regained your composure, have a calm conversation with Yugeon one more time. If you feel like you can’t do it, let me know, and I’ll handle it.”
“…Okay.”
“I’m not sure if it’s right for me, who doesn’t even know how many times you’ve been through this, to say this… But anyway, the fact that you keep returning to this time is a lot better than before, isn’t it?”
Suho cautiously patted Hajin’s shoulder and made eye contact.
“You haven’t lost everything, Hajin. You still have a chance.”
“…”
“I don’t know why you have to complete the third round with Yugeon or what exactly the Chosen Regressor’s intentions are… But the fact that you keep coming back to this moment means that you just need to resolve this properly. It’s not like before when you suddenly got thrown back ten years, or when everything you had achieved disappeared.”
Let’s hang on to that hope, okay? We need to protect it, Hajin.
Even after Suho’s final words, Hajin remained silent for a long time. He repeated Suho’s words over and over in his mind.
A chance.
A chance.
There was a time when Hajin had thought that too. That he had been given a chance to change his life.
In the end, after a few years of repeating regressions, he had folded that thought neatly and stuffed it into the trash, and his belief that regression was merely an escape and a curse remained unchanged…
“…Okay. I’ll try again.”
Nevertheless, Hajin nodded.
If this really was the ‘opportunity’ the Chosen Regressor was giving him, Hajin’s eyes shone with a renewed determination, vowing not to miss it this time.