Hard Mode Idol

The god chuckled softly. What’s so amusing to him? I find it unfair.

“Your most desperate dream from your previous life. Want to try challenging it?”

“What’s the point of dreams when I’m dead?”

“There’s a way.”

“How? Are you going to let me live a second life or something?”

“That’s right.”

I had just blurted that out, but he agreed. I stared at him blankly, dumbfounded.

“I thought it was the end?”

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t you say reincarnation wasn’t possible?”

“That’s why we’re utilizing a different body instead of reincarnation. Reconstructing an empty body with your soul. For convenience, we call it reincarnation, but strictly speaking, it’s not actual rebirth. Just think of it as reincarnation since explaining is bothersome.”

“You really do whatever you want.”

Since I had nothing to lose, I blurted out what I felt. It’s a life that has already ended, a soul that’s finished, isn’t it? Showing guts in front of such an unpredictable situation is my specialty.

“That’s why I’m a god.”

“Ah, right.”

As I grumbled indifferently, I heard laughter.

“You wanted to be loved, didn’t you? You liked dancing and singing too. I think being an idol suits you. Don’t you want to try again?”

My shoulders flinched. I tried not to show interest but inadvertently reacted. Is he really not a devil? Otherwise, how can he keep digging into people’s hearts like this?

“I said there are no devils.”

However, to readily agree, I had no good memories of either the results or the process.

“It’s not like being loved is up to me. You’re asking me if I want to do it again after failing once?”

The god grinned at my blunt reply and pointed to himself with his index finger. It seemed like he was boasting, ‘I’m a god’.

“You don’t want to do it?”

If it’s possible, I do want to do it. I also want to experience a life of being loved. As the self-proclaimed god said, I liked dancing and singing. I was pretty good at it, too. That’s why I used to wake up at the crack of dawn every day to grudgingly practice in order to avoid unnecessary entanglements with the members. But…

I stood up straight and asked seriously.

“Why are you proposing this to me?”

There must be some reason, right? I’ve experienced unconditional hostility but never the opposite, so my wariness was stronger. For all I know, this so-called god could be pushing me into an even more wretched life and snickering at it. False hope is the cruelest thing in the world. I already know that well from experiencing it countless times.

“You met the conditions.”

“What are those conditions?”

“One. Must be the soul at the end of the cycle. Two. Did not commit suicide. Three. Must be a clean soul.”

I deliberately sneered and spoke indifferently.

“I’m probably not the only one who meets those conditions, right?”

“Surprisingly, it’s rare. In the first place, most souls are extinguished before they can even be born, so nothing can be done in those cases. There’s no self-formed consciousness yet, so conversation is impossible. Next, suicide is common. Even if they survive until the end, their souls end up stained from devouring other souls.”

The god shrugged his shoulders and spoke in a nonchalant tone. Then he smiled brightly at me. In a voice that sounded more excited than before, he added,

“It’s a soul I found after a really long time.”

I asked without letting my guard down,

“Why do you go looking for them? Can’t you just let them be extinguished? Didn’t you say it’s bothersome?”

“To play a game.”

A game? What game?

“A race game. You’ll become my horse.”

“There are multiple gods?”

“Of course. How could I manage the countless souls alone?”

“Hmm. So you’re saying the gods pick up discarded souls to play games with each other.”

The god seemed to like the expression ‘discarded souls’. He repeated the words in his mouth a few times with a peculiar smile, then continued,

“No. The conditions are all different. Our side has the common condition of it having to be a clean soul, and we spun a roulette, but this time, I happened to get the most difficult one. To spin again, I have to wait 100 million years, and there are 80 million years left. So you play the game. It’s good for you and good for me.”

Ah. This god has no interest in me. He really only considered the conditions literally. He was viewing me emotionlessly as just a ‘chess piece’ for the long game. Still, it was better than having sinister ulterior motives. I like that it’s straightforward.

“You won’t back out midway saying it looks like you can’t win the game, right?”

“Of course not. You just have to live the second life given to you. Even if you fail or give up, I won’t take back the life I gave you. All decisions are up to you. I’ll merely observe.”

“Then what happens to the owner of this body?”

“The same as you; it was a soul at the end of its cycle and committed suicide. Souls have to be at the same stage to be inserted. I luckily recovered your soul, but it took time to find a body to replace you with.”

The god’s gaze turned to my left wrist. I unconsciously looked and saw a clear line etched on the wrist.

It was a single line. That alone showed how deeply and earnestly the owner of this body had cut to die. Suicide scars usually overlap multiple times. It’s not an easy thing to do.

“If you agree, that body will be reconstructed as you. I already got consent, so there’s no problem.”

I’m not sure what reconstruction means, but consent, well, I guess he got it from the owner of this body. They gave up their body and left after being told they’d be extinguished?

“In exchange for providing the body, I’m currently keeping them safe. You never know what might happen later.”

“What does that mean?”

“You’ll know if you play the game.”

For the first time, he avoided answering. Are there set things he can and cannot answer? Or is it on a whim?

“We have rules we decided on. Ask me anything. I’ll let you know what I can.”

I felt his determination to get me to participate in the game no matter what. Does he want it that badly? I’ve been feeling this for a while now, but the god seems very human-like.

“Humans were made in our image, so it’s the opposite. You guys resemble us.”

“Ah, I see.”

Since he keeps reading my mind, let’s just ask questions. The god laughed.

“Then what kind of life did this person live?”

“Similar to you. One who reached the end of the reincarnation cycle. Like all discarded souls.”

He glossed over it vaguely but if it’s similar to me, I could roughly guess. While feeling a subtle kinship, a question that suddenly occurred to me was thrown out.

“If this person and I are both the same discarded souls, won’t people hate me the same way?”

“I’ll put my blessing in your soul. Then you’ll become an ordinary soul.”

“So people won’t hate me for no reason?”

“That’s right. If you work hard, you can achieve your dreams. You can be loved by many people too.”

This is a bit tempting… It was a dream I gave up on after only getting hurt. I also wanted to become someone precious to another person. I wanted to have normal conversations with someone. You’re saying I can do that?

“You can do it. Above all, you’ll have a guide to help you. Since you like games, I prepared it in a game-like format to suit your tastes!”

The god’s eyes sparkled. He looked the most joyful so far. Seeing him excited like he was finally going to use this, it didn’t seem like my opinion was reflected.

I haven’t even said I’ll do it yet? As soon as I thought that, the god’s eyebrows drooped. He looked at me with pitiful eyes.

Let me think for a moment. Game-like format. The games I played came to mind.

Will there be stats? If there are stats, will they be fixed or growth type? Do they give skills too? Are skills necessary to become an idol? Then titles? Items? No pets, probably…

Various game genres jumbled around in my head. I was racking my brain hard on what to demand to gain an advantage early on, when the god roared with laughter. Remembering he could read my thoughts, I smacked my lips in dismay. He read the intentions I was trying to unravel.

“I heard there are sometimes guys who want initial support, but it’s really novel and fun. Since it’s my first time meeting you, I can be a bit generous. I’ll give you 10,000 initial points. You can use them to raise stat grades.”

I picked out only the necessary information, leaving out all the useless mumbling. So there are stats, and it’s a growth type. I have no sense of how much 10,000 points is right now. Thinking I needed to find out more, I swiftly stated my opinion.

“You’re not going to max out just one of my stats?”

“That’s not allowed. Do you know how many points are needed to reach S+?”

The god threw me hints as I wanted. First, the max for each stat is up to S+. Points are needed to raise that. Then, the required points will increase as the grade goes up. He said he won’t max it out, so 10,000 won’t be enough for max but will roughly get me to A?

I observed the god’s expression, wanting to see if my speculation was correct, but there was no particular change. I couldn’t tell if he was maintaining a poker face or if my reasoning was wrong. If I could just figure out the grade 10,000 points can raise, I’d be able to gauge the difficulty of acquiring points. What a shame.

“If 10,000 doesn’t entice you, how about this?”

“What is it?”

“Let’s spin a roulette wheel!”

The god flicked his finger and a roulette wheel appeared before my eyes. I guess humans repeat the same mistakes because they all resemble god. He failed because of this but suggests I do it too?

The roulette wheel had stat types written on it. A total of 21 from F- to S+. Annoyingly fair, they were all divided into equal proportions.

“I won’t do it.”