Hard Mode Idol

Kanghyun asked for instant coffee mix as he went to change clothes. Does he like creamy coffee? It gives the image of someone enjoying espresso in a high-rise building with plenty of sunlight.

“Haon, is there anything you’d like to eat?”

“Ah, I don’t care about the type. Cereal and milk, plus some shelf stable things would be enough.”

“The company cafeteria won’t be open during the holiday, so should I get some side dishes too? You and Kanghyun will have to eat at the dorms.”

“It doesn’t seem like we’ll be coming back to the dorms to eat. Kanghyun isn’t the type to prepare breakfast either. Since I’ll be eating alone, there’s no need to buy a lot.”

After a brief pause, hyung added some instant rice and disposable soup packets.

“Eat proper meals instead of just hot dogs.”

“That’s too much hassle.”

“Just pour it into a pot to boil and heat up the rice in the microwave.”

But doing the dishes is a hassle. I prefer the convenient way of just eating and tossing the trash. However, since he’s looking out for me, I felt warm and just said okay.

“Sorry. As the leader, I should be taking better care of things like this, but I didn’t think about it since I’m on a diet. Jaehyuk used to take care of all this……”

“Hyung, you’re supposed to take care of your own meals yourself. Not being able to do that makes you a fool. No one else is responsible for it. Who says that’s part of a leader’s duty? You’re trying to take on too much responsibility.”

Yoochan let out a deflating laugh, even adding “I guess that makes you a fool then.” After patching up his tofu mentality, this is how he treats me. Unbelievable.

I turned 19. Having experienced it once before, I didn’t feel any particular sensation.

During the holiday period, I gave up on raising my vocal experience points. Practicing alone was too inefficient, so after two days I abandoned it to focus on dancing instead. Kanghyun patiently coached me. As my skills improved, he seemed subtly proud.

After the holiday ended, the only change was my schedule reverting to dancing in the morning and vocal training in the afternoon. Every day was the same.

Ah, Seoho’s attitude changed slightly. He’s still prickly, but not quite the same as before. Since I’m mostly the one winning our bouts, our relationship will likely continue being playfully contentious going forward. This isn’t so bad either.

Time continued to pass, and the notable incident in between was receiving apologies from a few of Gomchi’s bean sprouts. They said they were sorry for not helping me because they were scared of Gomchi. They even went out of their way to call me over and apologize despite not recognizing my face when I passed by. That’s why it stuck in my memory.

Most importantly were the changes in my stats. Without using any points, I raised my dancing to B+, and while my vocals were still at A-, the crucial thing was the experience points.

Vocals: A- (1315/1500)

I wasn’t far from A, and I still had 1,900 points remaining. It was thanks to not using points to raise my dance grade, as well as accumulating all the weekly mission points from the main mission for 3 weeks. Just looking at it felt reassuring.

The thought of the gacha system crossed my mind from time to time, but I could quickly dismiss it. It would cost 100 out of my 120 stamina. Then I wouldn’t be able to practice in the mornings, all for a low 15 point gain if successful, or a loss if not. It made more sense to do it later when I had surplus points.

I used to get my hopes up even for a 1% chance when gaming, so it was surprising how I could refrain now that it was reality. Of course, I had tasted it once before……

In any case, I was dancing in the morning to raise my stats when it happened.

“The director is calling you all to gather.”

Yoochan said as he slightly opened the practice room door. Seoho and Kanghyun left first, then I followed. But Yoochan went in a different direction alone. Is he going to get Ilhan?

“Hyung, where are you going?”

“To get Ilhan.”

“His personal studio?”

“Yeah. It’s faster than waiting for him to check his phone and not show up, like last time when only Ilhan was missing.”

Right. That’s what happened. Ilhan. The last member.

“Can I come too?”

“Um. It’s fine, but you’ll have to wait outside. He doesn’t like showing his studio.”

“Okay, no problem.”

Since it’s hard to see him, I might as well confirm his location. To be honest, I thought Ilhan wouldn’t sign the contract. The atmosphere really felt that way. Seeing his actions, he didn’t seem interested in being an idol either. While his aloof behavior was grating, I had been too preoccupied raising my stats to really notice.

It’s understandable to forget someone you don’t see. We don’t seek out people we can’t see either. If he had dropped out of the debut team, I would have just thought “Well, he was never around anyway.”

By some miracle, the fanatics regained their senses, and a new member was added without any discord. But Ilhan did sign the contract. I had assumed the director persuaded him, but the important thing is the result – that he signed.

Since he’ll be a member staying with us for the next 7 years, I should confirm his habitat. It was inconvenient not knowing his living patterns since I rarely ran into him even at the dorms.

Ilhan’s personal studio was the composition room at the very end of the 2nd floor. After Yoochan knocked a few times, he abruptly opened the door. Peeking my head in through the cracked opening, I glimpsed a small potted plant and a well-used blanket. Does he eat and sleep here? Is that why he doesn’t come to the dorms?

“Ilhan-ah. The director is calling.”

“……Okay.”

Despite his sluggish, gloomy tone, his low voice sounded quite pleasant. By the way, this guy still seems depressed. I don’t know if it’s due to some new concern, or if he’s been like this since the time we met in the elevator. Either way, his pathetic state remains unchanged.

He doesn’t seem to have the personality for an idol.

Since I had confirmed my ample stamina, I immediately used my skill. If he’s someone I rarely see, I should use it when I can.

[Jung Ilhan]

Talent: A Rapper Prodigy that comes once in a century! Truly a Rhythmic Genius!

Blooming Condition: Self-confidence is important!

A once-in-a-century genius, it says. Since I’ve never heard Ilhan rap before, I’ll have to trust the system on that. I wonder when I’ll get to hear him rap.

Come to think of it, while everyone else seems to have an outstanding forte, Seoho’s was ambiguous. It didn’t say he was a great actor, just that he had talent. But his overall abilities were above average.

He danced well, sang well too. While not a main vocal, he could have been the lead vocal if not for Yoochan. His face even has the tofu-puppy visuals that fangirls love.

So why did he say he couldn’t do this or that? He seems above average in most areas. He doesn’t even realize his abilities are good enough to be in the debut team.

Ah, every single one of them is problematic. Not a single proper one. A proper one. Just looking at Ilhan’s blooming condition and current state, it seems his self-esteem has utterly plummeted.

Every time I glanced at Ilhan, his head kept lowering down, down. The signs of him checking my reaction were obvious. We’ve barely met or conversed, so why is he acting like this? There’s no need for such wariness.

“Ilhan hyung.”

“……Yes.”

“This is my first time visiting your composition studio, but can I stop by again later?”

“……”

The stairwell was quiet, leaving only the sound of our footsteps climbing up one floor. I had deliberately phrased it as a question requiring a clear answer, but he remained silent. Since I intended to barge in regardless, I just smiled brightly as if I didn’t notice.

“I’ll take your silence as permission? I’ll stop by again soon!”

I purposefully grabbed Ilhan’s hand tightly. What kind of person enjoys having their hand held by an unfamiliar member of the same sex? Ilhan’s hand trembled violently in mine. But he didn’t say anything or pull his hand away. He just stood there, rigidly frozen.

He really does watch his manners a lot, doesn’t he? How did someone like this become a rapper?

From my biased common sense, rappers seemed to be people with high self-confidence. The kind who enjoy trading diss raps and roasting each other.

In reality, they may be inwardly affected, but outwardly they can laugh it off with a tough demeanor. Ilhan’s first impression fit a rapper perfectly, but his personality is the opposite. If someone attacks him, he’d likely just seal his lips and tremble meekly.

Well, talent doesn’t necessarily follow personality. This could happen. Since he kept feeling uncomfortable, I let go of his hand. I found out what I wanted to know – that he won’t refuse me if I force my way in.

Having cleared the fondness mission, I plan to force my way into Ilhan’s life to gauge how to interact with him. Otherwise, who knows when I’ll get another chance to meet him?

When we arrived at the director’s office, the three of us froze in place. As Director Kim smiled brightly and said, “Come on in, kids!” Yoochan reacted first. I followed after him, and Ilhan trailed behind me hesitantly. The reason we collectively short-circuited was one thing.

There was a strange man who looked far fiercer than even the most rugged Ilhan among us.

If Gomchi’s Gomdori reminded one of a teddy bear, this man was a wild bear itself. His professional smile made him seem more like a zoo bear than an actual wild one. But he was undoubtedly real.

“Hello. I’m Park Jeonggon. I’ll be your manager going forward. Please take care of me.”

A manager……you say?

He was wearing a black suit, but with every breath he took, the jacket flared open wide. As if he tried to force the buttons closed, they looked ready to pop off. His burly, muscular frame exuded an oppressive aura. Director Kim beamed as she proudly introduced him.

“He’s a former special forces member. He’s been in this industry for quite a while and has wide connections, so he’s a capable person who will take good care of you all.”

At that moment, I felt a sense of kinship with Ilhan. It seemed like only we were psychologically distanced by about 50,000 kilometers. The other members unexpectedly exchanged introductions quite naturally. When it was my turn……

I must have stiffened up, because Director Kim smiled at me and gestured for me to come closer.

“Look at Haon’s wide eyes. So adorable. He’ll protect you all in many ways. You can feel at ease.”

Belatedly realizing my rudeness, I bowed politely to the manager as I entered the director’s office. No, I was just too surprised. I’m shy, you know.