Harriet Potter, I’m not your Uncle Sam

After potions class Harriet intercepted me as I left the classroom.

“Sam, what was that?” She asked me, a hint of accusation in her tone.

“What was what?”

“Snape’s Class, he is never that, I don’t know, content.”

“It's the first day of class, how would I know how he normally is? Also, how do you know how he acts?”

“Unlike you, I do try to talk to other Gryfindor’s. You should try it sometime, you might make a friend or two.”

“I have friends.” 

“Name 2 and Nevil and I don’t count.” Harriet spoke with a triumphant grin.

“Malory, and fluffzilla… What was her name, you know the girl who called me a pervert last night.”

“Sam, you got neither of their names right. How can you remember facts about deadly plants yet not people's names?”

“Honestly, I can’t remember what I had for dinner last night, much less someone's name.”

“Sam, you missed dinner.” Harriet deadpanned.

“My point still stands… What were we talking about.”

“We started this conversation on how you pacified Snape.”

“He wanted students who could understand basic safety and understand the dangers in mixing stuff together. He just seems like he has done it so long that the idea of teaching the basics escapes him. That and I have experience cooking and that helped.”

“According to some of the upper years, Snape hates it when you compare cooking and potions.”

“The fundamentals are the same, but the stakes are higher and there is less room for error. While I can understand why he doesn’t like the comparison, it would be like a fire alarm installation technician saying they are an electrician. The Fundamentals are the same but the end result is different.” All I got was a blank stare from Harriet as she tried to understand what I just said.

“That made no sense whatsoever. Do you mind explaining it in english.”

“Okay? Hmm, I guess it's easier sticking with cooking. How do you make a cake?”

“You mix the flour and eggs, whisking the batter and letting it sit for… oh.”

“And how did you make the Cure Boils potion?”

“Using portioned ingredients and specific instructions.” Harriet responded, while I gave her a sage nod.

“Like I said, the fundamentals are the same, but the end result is different.” I said as we got to the Great Hall for lunch. “Now what sort of food have we got in here today.”

“Americans.” Harriet expressed with a teasing sigh.

“Sorry that I want to see if British food is as bland as everyone makes it out to be.” I said as I looked across the spread of Sandwiches and simple foods. Opening up one of the ham and cheese sandwiches I found no condiments and the bread was dry. “I am disappointed.”

“Oh, but this is rather flavorful.” 

“Harriet, is there any mustard on that Roast Beef Sandwich?”

“No, why?”

“Fucking Brits, take over half the world and fails to use the spices or flavors they stole from everyone.”

“And you Americans are all fat from the pits of Grease you put your food in.”

“We perfected what we learned from you except we learned how to utilize the spices and make proper food.”

“England has plenty of spices, and we utilize them plenty.”

“You have spices made from whatever you could find in the Northern garden, at least we learned to use the native stuff before looking for spices elsewhere.”

“Well at Least it's not Scottish food.” Harriet said with a pout.

“To be fair, the Scotts are just sending a message to everyone with their food.” I responded with a nod of my head, only to burst into laughter. Much to the head of the house's chagrin. 

“Anyway, Next up we have Charms with professor Flitwick. I wonder what kind of spells we would learn there.”

“I just hope it is not something like Dominate Person or Hypnotic Pattern.” 

“What?”

“In Dungeons and Dragons, charm spells tend to be well charming. The idea is to influence others. Thus why I am a little hesitant on learning charms. That and the fun ones are Level 3 or higher.”

“Charms is an abbreviation of enchantments, or spells that apply and affect…” Hermione started talking, before turning into another character. “Wa wa wa.” Ah yes the teacher from peanuts, the most background character to ever background.

“So we are going to enchantment class. Think the teach will show us how to enchant items?” I ask Harriet getting a different pitched ‘Wa’ from Hermione.

“Nope, they will go over the syllabus and the fundamentals before letting us use magic.”

“Sounds basic as all hell. Let me guess, Potions is the outlier of the magical classes.”

“Seems that way. Why, were you hoping we just jump into the casting?”

“I mean sorta. It doesn’t mean that I was expecting to cast the fun stuff right away. But I was hoping to learn some basic cantrips to practice with and get used to the casting.”

“The last thing we need right now is teaching you how to cast more spells. Especially considering you are a fire hazard.” Harriet said, the ‘Wa’s’ getting louder beside us.

“Please I am the safest person with simple spells. It's not like I can point my finger and say Firebolt.” I say as flame bursts out of my extended finger, towards one of the floating braziers. “Oops,”

“You were saying.” Harriet responded triumphantly, and my pouting. Everyone in the Great Hall looked at me in either concern or awe, possibly fear. I did note how pissed Mcgonigal is, she looked like she wanted to rip off my head and burn the body.

“Shut up Cosmos, that was an accident and you know it.”

“Accident? You were looking to show off, like you did in potions.”

“You cannot prove that I cast that on purpose.”

“CLASS STARTS IN 5 MINUTES!” Hermione shouted into my ear, clearly breaking her Peanuts impression, and almost getting a knuckle sandwich from me and putting Cosmos onto the ground in fear.

“Jeasus fucking christ, the hell was that for.” I growled out after stopping myself. The only response I got was Hermione staring at my legs. Looking down I saw Harriet curled up at my feet.

“I’m sorry Aunt Petunia, I won’t do it again, I won’t do it again.” She said robotically with a hushed tone. Leaning down I pulled her up, not even getting a proper response, and pulled her onto my lap where she curled up into my shirt with a single wet drop falling from her face. Looking up, I saw Dumbledoor with a worried expression but nodded a sort of thank you. The other teachers besides Mcgonigal had already vacated towards their classes.

“Tell the teach that we will be a hot minute. Unless he has some tissues to get the snot out, I need to stay here till she gets it out of her system.” I ordered Hermione in a soft tone. She hesitated before walking out of the Great Hall. 

“Mr. Brown, I had not realized just how terrible her family was. So thank you for being there for her.” Dumbledoor said behind me as he put a potion onto the table. “It's a calming draught, Poppy would try and hang both of us if she found out I gave it to you. If she wants to go to class, give it to her, or escort her to Poppy for some, what do the muggles call it, oh yes therapy.”

“I will let her know, but I don’t think she is going to come out better by bottling up her feelings, in this case literally, and talk later. I will sit here until she is ready to move on, it's the least I can do.” I said as I pocketed the potion, and let Harriet relax a bit as more liquid fell onto my shoulder.

“Very well, I have already sent a message to Professor Flitwick that you might be late.” Dumbledoor informed me, getting a nod back. Hearing the footsteps walk out with the large doors closing shortly. 

“Can we get some water, preferably ice cold.” I requested getting a glass with ice water, and a mug of warm tea. I raised an eyebrow at the tea but sipped the water anyway. After some time, I think about an hour or so the tears stopped flowing but she still clung on to me.

“I got your shirt wet.” her muffled voice came from my chest.

“And? It's a shirt, it can be cleaned. Besides, you needed it more than I did.” I joked getting a small chuckle from Cosmos. 

“You didn’t have to stay. I am not that important.” Cosmos said deprecatingly.

“All the more reason to stick around. I don’t know the circumstances but if it got you near catatonic then you need someone to cry with you. Besides if you were not important then why would you be here. If you weren’t important then you would still live with this Pettuuu…” I trailed off remembering something. “Oh, riiiight. That bitch of a woman.” I mumbled out.

“What?” 

“Don’t worry about it. So, do you want to make plans for revenge?” I joke handing a fresh glass of water.

“No, I don’t want trouble with the bobbies.” Cosmos responded by taking the glass of water and drinking it. “Thank you for being here for me.”

“Don’t worry about it, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on then I will always provide it. No matter what the circumstances may be, I will always be there.”

“It’s just, no one has ever been there for me. I grew up as my relative's pet, slave, or general servant. My only reward was some bread and my aunt berating and beating me for every mistake. She would always screech at me as she is hitting me with whatever was in her hand.” Cosmos said as she got off my lap and sat down next to me. “I-I don’t know why I am telling you this, you are just some stranger I met the other day.”

“Because I am an ear to let you get it off your chest?” I ask with a gentle tone. “Do you want to talk about it properly?”

Harriet gave a slight hiccup, then started to speak only for nothing to come out, after a few tries she settled down enough and started speaking. “I-I think it would be best if I start with my Aunt. She is the best definition of a horse face, with a long and thin neck. Best I can guess is she is? was? jealous of my mom, and she carried that jealousy and resentment until the perfect target arrived on her porch, literally. My uncle never touched me, thankfully, said he didn’t want to risk a visit from CPS. But my aunt took glee in treating me as a lesser, always ambushing me just to yell at me that I am doing a task impropperly.” Harriet responded freely spilling her story. I pulled her into my chest and gave her a reassuring pat on the back of her head.

“You must have kept it all in and never told a soul, but deep down you wanted to. Why you chose me as the one you borrowed an ear from, I don’t know. But I am proud of you for it.” I say with a small smile as water forms in her eyes. “Besides that just means that you love me.”

“...prat…” Cosmos grumbled as the tears dried up a bit, punching me in the shoulder in mock anger. A small smile formed on her lips.

“But I got a smile out of you. I consider that a win.” I smiled at her recovering from her spiral of depression. “Want a snack, it's been a minute and I imagine you are tired.”

“Yeah, good news is, our next class is history. I can take a nap in there if I need to.” 

“Do you want a pillow? I know where we can steal one.”

“Nah, I am good.” Cosmos said as she got up from the table. “So are you coming, or staying around?”

“Hmm Should I stay or should I go?” I joked before getting an eye roll and a smack in the back of the head.

“You are going, otherwise you would have skipped three classes out of our four classes per day.”

“Yes ma’am.” I responded by giving a mock salute as I got up. As we walked to our next class there were some strange looks we got from other students. As each one looked at Cosmos I could feel her nerves returning. Looking at her, an atomic blush as she realized just where she had broken down.

“Maybe we should have stayed.” I smirked as I came up with a plan. Snapping my fingers and for once Prestidigitation cast right as an electric guitar started playing. Followed by drums shortly afterwards and another snap. I also started air guitaring my way through the halls.

“Don’t wanna be an American Idiot.
Don’t want a Nation under new media.” I sang out loud drawing all the attention from Cosmos and onto me. This continued till Cosmos slapped me.

“We are here, you don’t need to play anymore.”

“But it is a good song.”

“And these people don’t know anything newer than Beethoven.”

“Fair, but do you know Green Day?”

“No, it's a freakish band for freaks. Like me.” She mumbled that last part out and I barely heard it.

“And, who cares if you are a freak. Being normal is boring, what is life without a little fun right? I need to introduce you to some good bands, like Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Sabaton in a few years.”

“Fine, but not here. We can’t get a radio to work, the magic kills electronics.”

“The same electronics that die from a minor sneeze? I think I can get a radio to work.” I said as I opened the door to meet a ghost and an empty class. Not that the ghost noticed us opening the door. “And we are taught by a ghost. This place is getting as stereotypical as possible isn’t it?” I asked sarcastically, getting a nod in response from Cosmos; as I placed my hand on the doorknob and opened it up to reveal the dusty classroom.