Harry Potter and the Dovahkiin

“The Dude” Lebowski



He was still clad in a damp robe, unable to change since his room had been occupied, and was now running commando beneath the fabric.

"Um, Ben?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think, maybe, you could wake up Marietta?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that. She kinda slipped my mind," he said, scratching his head.

"Rennervate," he muttered, pointing the wand at her chest.

"W-what happened?" Marietta stammered as she woke up in a daze. The last thing she remembered was casting a Jelly-Legs Jinx at the annoying Brown.

It would be so satisfying to watch him stumble into the room, 'that'll show Cho how pathetic he is,' she had thought before her world went dark.

"You don't have to sleep on the floor, Marietta! We have beds in this house."

When she opened her eyes, she found herself face-to-face with his stupid expression, his stupid brown eyes peering at her through his stupid, wet brown hair. And why was he so tall, anyway? "What is he, a mountain troll?" she couldn't help but wonder aloud.

"Pardon me, what did you just call me?" Ben's brows furrowed as he spoke.

"You heard me. Are you going to help me up or what?" Marietta retorted.

"Yeah, you can help yourself, pipsqueak," Ben replied, a smirk playing on his lips.

Marietta's face flushed with fury as she struggled to come up with a retort.

"Y-you little, I'm older than you," she screamed, now standing on her toes, still only reaching his chest.

"Oof coourse you are," Ben cooed in a mocking tone, patting Marietta's head as if she were a child. Marietta's face turned crimson with anger, her fists clenched, ready to throw some hands. Luckily, Cho pulled her back before Ben put her to sleep once again.

"Ben, get down here now!" Thea's voice rang out from downstairs, her tone less polite than before.

"Touch nothing," Ben said sternly, narrowing his eyes at Marietta before hurrying downstairs.

Rushing down the stairs, he found the golden trio sitting awkwardly on a sofa, with Thea and Madam Edgecombe offering them a bunch of food. Molly Weasley was there as well, along with Ginny, and was sitting on the sofa on the left.

'Great, more people in this house, just what I need,' he thought, having completely forgotten he had invited them over.

"Ben, dear, you never told me you were friends with Harry here," said Madam Edgecombe with a spurious smile. Ben didn't like her much. The woman was the definition of a social climber.

He was surprised she was in his house at all, as she usually spent her time sucking up to Umbridge and Fudge. It wouldn't surprise him at all if she were here for Harry. After all, if Harry Potter were to use the Floo network, the DMT would surely be informed, especially after the mishap at Knockturn Alley.

"You never inquired, Mrs Edgecombe," Ben retorted, noting the slight falter in her forced smile before it resumed its facade.

"Please excuse us," Thea said, whisking Ben away to the kitchen.

"What in Merlin's name are ya wearing? I told ye to put on something suitable for the occasion," she scolded, eyeing the bathrobe disapprovingly.

Ben thought he was rocking "The Dude" Lebowski look.

"Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, mam. I reckon this is perfectly suitable for a laid-back Sunday," he retorted with a grin.

"Ben, don't tempt me to hex ya," she warned him, and Ben wisely held his tongue. "Now, off with that thing," she commanded, tugging at the robe.

"Mam, I'm not wearing a stitch underneath," Ben protested, clutching onto his robe, desperately trying to maintain his dignity.

"Oh, I haven't the time for this," she sighed, exasperated. With a flick of her wand, she transfigured his robe into a smart ensemble consisting of a shirt, trousers, a vest, and a tie. Another wave of her wand conjured a long black robe and a pointed hat.

"Mam, isn't this a bit much? Is it suddenly the Yule Ball?" he questioned, glancing down at his transformed attire. "And that was my favourite bathrobe," he lamented.

"Well, that's what happens when you fail to inform me of your guests, including Harry Potter. You didn't think that was worth mentioning?" she scolded.

"It slipped my mind, and it's not that big of a deal, mam," he replied defensively, making his way back to the living room.

By now, Cho and Marietta had joined everyone in the living room, and space was becoming scarce.

"Come on, guys, I've got something cool to show you," he announced, leading the way out the door, with his friends trailing behind.

"What on earth are you wearing, mate?" Michael inquired.

"Don't ask. It's a long story," Ben muttered, sidestepping further discussion about his unexpected attire. "What are you even doing here?" he asked, his curiosity piqued.

"Wha, you invited me, mate," Michael replied.

"Yeah, like a month ago. Where have you been? And how did you all end up here today? Did you plan it or something?"

"Nah, they were already here when I arrived," Michael explained.

"And you invited us yesterday. Did you forget?" Hermione chimed in.

"Oh hey, Hermione. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have you guys over. I just wasn't expecting it today," Ben clarified, removing his pointed hat and tucking it away.

"Peaches?" he offered, pulling out a handful of ripe fruit from beneath his robes.

"No thanks, your mom fed us a ton," Harry declined.

"I'll have one, Ben, and one for Marie," Cho requested, taking two peaches.

"Bloody hell, mate, where do you keep all this stuff?" Ron exclaimed, snagging a peach in each hand.

"In my private island," Ben joked, handing one out to Ginny and Michael.

"Yeah, right," Ron scoffed, clearly sceptical.

"These are really good, Ben," Cho complimented.

"Thanks, I grew them myself," Ben revealed.

"You grew them? You mean you watered the tree?" Hermione teased.

"No, I mean exactly what I said," Ben asserted.

"Explain," Hermione demanded.

"Watch," Ben said, flicking his wand at the nearby rose bush, causing it to burst into full bloom.

-End of Chapter-

Alright, that's it for today. Visit me at patreon.com/DreamyApe for some free images, nothing spicy tho.


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