ALL NOVEL Chapter 90: Lockhart’s Interview
"Tea or pumpkin juice?"
Tver made himself comfortable in Dumbledore's seat, unconcerned by the disapproving gaze of Fawkes the phoenix. Lockhart, however, was distracted by the phoenix.
"Ah, a phoenix, of course, it's quite obvious," he said with a self-satisfied smile. "I once encountered a phoenix in Egypt, in its rebirth cycle. Fortunately, with my assistance, it successfully rejuvenated. You can find the details in my book, 'Break with a Banshee,' chapter three."
"Even without your help, a phoenix can rejuvenate itself," Tver coldly remarked, directing a tea cup to fill with tea and fly to his face, repeatedly bumping his head.
Lockhart, sensing Tver's displeasure with his long-windedness, gave an awkward chuckle. "The headmaster's office does have interesting teacups."
Taking a sip from his cup, the atmosphere finally eased slightly. Tver wasn't sure why, but usually, even with the most stubborn students, he maintained his patience. Yet with Lockhart, he found himself utterly disinterested in speaking.
"Why don't you start with an introduction?" he said resignedly, knowing the interview must proceed.
But the next second, he immediately regretted it. The word 'introduction' seemed to trigger something in Lockhart.
As soon as Tver finished speaking, Lockhart flashed a grin showing eight perfectly aligned teeth, exactly as Tver had seen in the newspapers, without an extra bit of gum showing.
"Me, Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award — but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"
"And what did you use?" Tver asked curiously.
Lockhart's smile froze for a second, but his professional demeanor quickly recovered. "Of course, it was my powerful magic!"
"Alright," Tver responded noncommittally, "how do you plan to structure the Defense Against the Dark Arts class?"
Lockhart was clearly prepared for this. He confidently cleared his throat. "Teaching students will involve showing them some magical creatures, dealing with aggressive spells, and the like. For example, I plan to bring some evil creatures to class that the students have never faced before, and then—heroically—teach them how to handle these challenges. Frankly, I've heard a lot about the rumors surrounding Defense Against the Dark Arts, and of course, I've experienced some. I know students haven't had much luck with good professors in this class, but rest assured—"
"Let me remind you, I was responsible for this course last year," Tver interjected coolly, "and I will continue to teach the students."
"Ahaha, what a coincidence, haha," Lockhart laughed awkwardly for a while. "It's my first time hearing about a professor teaching it for two years. Are we still hiring a new professor?"
"Indeed, we will share the teaching responsibilities, depending on your performance in this interview," Tver stated.
Lockhart frowned slightly. Although intimidated by Tver's Durmstrang background, his youthful appearance made him seem just like a recent graduate to Lockhart, who was displeased by Tver's dominant role in the course.
"I'm not questioning your abilities, but I do hope you'll respect the achievements of a member of the Order of Merlin."
"Hanging your honors on your lip all day only makes people think you're good for nothing else."
When Dumbledore returned, he was surprised to find Tver alone in the headmaster's office, engaged in a silent staring contest with the disgruntled phoenix, Fawkes.
"Where's Lockhart?"
"He said he had a book signing to prepare for, so he left early," Tver explained, sparing the hurriedly departed Lockhart some dignity as he playfully teased Fawkes.
However, the phoenix ungraciously turned its head away.
"You need to spend more time with it," Dumbledore advised, stroking Fawkes's head. "So, you've completed the interview with Lockhart?"
Tver recalled the excruciating twenty minutes that had just passed. Mostly, it had been Lockhart boasting about his various exploits, responding vaguely to questions, and then redirecting to his published works. If the task had been to test memory, Mr. Lockhart would have excelled, as he could recall every detail from each book he had written.
However, Tver now seriously doubted whether Lockhart could manage even the simplest tasks, such as distributing papers or explaining exercises. Nonetheless, a sentient being, however lacking, was preferable to bearing the responsibility for seven grades alone.
"If you consider that an interview, then yes, it's over."
"And your assessment?" Dumbledore asked, intrigued.
"To some extent, less useful than my dummy," Tver said, his mouth twitching slightly.
"Oh?" Dumbledore perked up. "And just what level does he reach?"
Dumbledore knew of Tver's dummies, especially since Snape had complained about their effectiveness during the Philosopher's Stone incident.
Tver thought about his repeating dummy and the similarly repetitive Lockhart. "Probably less than half?"
"That's not too bad!" Dumbledore said reassuringly. "Lockhart is the only one who actively applied for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position this year."
"Perhaps he sees this role as part of his adventurous career, something to write about in a book next year."
"That would be nice. I hope he can salvage what's left of my precarious reputation in his next book," Dumbledore said leisurely, pouring himself a cup of tea.
"But I guess you wouldn't want to appear as a gossip in his book?"
"He'd find it hard to include me anyway," Tver thought.
"What do you mean? Am I a gossip?"
"It's Snape. You know him well, don't you? He often complains to me that you tease him about his past."
Tease? Tver doubted Snape would use such a friendly term. It sounded more like a threat.
It seemed so much like a child bullied and then running to a parent that Tver couldn't help but laugh.
"My mother did talk quite a bit about their feuds. I believe not just my mother, but several from that generation know these stories."
"But at least in this generation, no student is aware of it, so it's best to keep Snape's affairs quiet around the school," Dumbledore reminded.
"Of course," Tver agreed amiably. "If there's nothing else, then I'll head back?"
He still had a Dark Lord at home, and he couldn't guarantee that Marvolo would stay put.
Dumbledore called out to Tver as he approached the door. "I've arranged your request. Would you like to come by to check on it?"
He paused for a moment. "No, I think I'll save my expectations for the end of the summer break."