Harry Potter The Serpent

"What the fuck are they doing here?" Harry hissed to Jet as he looked at the Weasley's. The elder Weasley's were smiling at him while the children (with the exception of Ginny) were all glaring at him, including Ron who was holding his pet rat 'Scabbers' in his hands.

"Our lives are strewn with cowpat from the devils own satanic herd!" Jet suddenly declared.

"What? Where the fuck did that come?" Harry blinked.

"I was watching Blackadder with you and Tonks, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Harry nodded. "what do you think they want?" Harry asked as he looked at the Weasley family.

"I am not sure," Jet admitted. "perhaps they intend to kidnap children, paint their hair red and claim them as their own."

"You know...I can somehow believe that."

"Be careful around them, and for god's sake watch your hair." Jet hissed. "If it even starts to turn red then we book it."

"Agreed." Harry replied.

Harry was largely tempted to just walk past them and pretend that he had not even noticed them but sadly that would not work. For one, it was obvious that Harry and the three Tonks family members had noticed them, the second reason was because the Weasleys were all in-between the family and the floo.

"This'll be fun." Harry muttered.

"Relax Hare-bear," Tonks whispered. "if worst comes to worse then we'll just hex and curse our way out."

"Really?" Harry asked in a hopeful voice.

"There will be no hexing or cursing." Andromeda said with an eye roll.

"Aw!" Harry and Tonks whined at the same time. Ted shook his head as he snorted with amusement, the family began walking forward for the inevitable conversation with the Weasley's.

"Ah Harry," Mrs Weasley smiled, greeting him like they were family. "it is so wonderful to see you, dear." She would have reached over and gave him a hug if not for the fact that he still had Jet on his shoulders.

"Mr Potter." Mr Weasley greeted with a handshake.

"Mr Weasley." Harry politely replied.

"It's good to see you," Mr Weasley said before looking at the Tonks family. "you all as well, are you all doing school shopping for young Harry?" He asked.

"We're already done," Ted replied. "we're just on our way back now."

"Ah, about that," Mr Weasley coughed. "I had talked with the Minister a short while ago and he had requested that if Mr Potter wasn't to go to a safe house then my family and I would stay here and help guard him. You know...with the situation with..."

"Sirius Black?" Harry drawled.

"You told him?" Mrs Weasley asked the Tonk's family in a disapproving voice.

"Why would we not tell him that a mass murderer is out and could be after him?" Tonks spoke in a way that made it clear that she thought it was an incredibly dumb question.

"No boy should hear that a mad man like Sirius Black is after him," Mrs Weasley said as if it was obvious. "do you honestly want him to go to school knowing that?"

"Mrs Weasley," Andromeda spoke in an irritated voice. "in a perfect world Harry would not have to worry about Sirius Black at all, but this is not a perfect world. I do not know how your raise and care for your kids, if hiding potential dangers from them is your preferred method of parenting then so be it, but it is not ours. When my daughter was young I told her that fires could burn so she wouldn't purposely put her hand in one and get burnt. There is no way we are not going to make Harry aware of such a big risk to his life." Andromeda finished, everyone watched as she and the Weasley matriarch engaged in a silent battle of wills. If Harry was a betting man then he would have put his money on Andromeda winning this.

"Um...hi Harry." Ginny said with a small wave, hoping to lower the tension in the room.

"Ah Ginerva, good to see you." Harry smiled as he took her hand and kissed her knuckles, causing her to blush.

"Hey! Get off her!" Ron suddenly shouted as he stood up.

"For Merlin's sake, I am right here, there is no need to shout." Harry said in an irritated voice as he let Ginny's hand go. "So, Ginny, how has your summer been?" Harry asked.

"Um...fine so far." Ginny said with a small nod. "How about yours?" She asked.

"One of my better ones." Harry said with a smile. "How is Roman? Have you two been writing to each other?"

"Yeah...a little bit." Ginny nodded. "And I've sent a few letters to...

"Wait...Lestrange?! That's who you've been writing to this summer?!" Ron demanded.

"Yeah, not that it's any of your business!" Ginny snapped, causing Ron to snap back as he remembered that his sister could raise her voice as well.

"Right, I think we should go before Ginger Mcloudmouth opens his loud mouth again." Harry suggested to the Tonks family.

"You won't hear any arguments from me." Ted said before he gestured to the floo.

"Wait," Mr Weasley frowned. "if you're not going to a safehouse then that means Harry is staying here, correct? If you're going to get your stuff then I can help you."

"We are not staying at a safe house, nor are we staying here." Ted replied.

"But the Minister said..."

"We are well aware of what he said." Andromeda cut him off before a smirk briefly appeared on her face. "Harry was able to...persuade...him to allow us to continue as normal. We are perfectly safe and fine, and while we appreciate the offer, we do not need your help."

"Alright, that's our cue to go." Harry said to Tonks family before quickly walking past the Weasley family before rushing over to the floo, the Tonks family quickly following after him and quickly flooing away, even Tonks did not want to suffer through the madness that was the Weasley family.

....

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