Heavenly Shae

Aside: "Van and Long."

"Long." Van entered the room with a nod. "I saw the rain." He set a small corked jug on the table, and two short glasses.

"Yes. It's been a while since I slipped that badly."

"You should tell the girl. It might save you some face in her eyes."

"I'd rather not share that particular weakness, thank you. What do you have here?"

"I believe you once called it: peasant swill."

"Ah! My favorite!" Half a smile showed, and he leaned forwards to pour two glasses.

"I hate to say I told you so."

"If you did, you wouldn't have said that." Long slid the second glass to Van and waved him to sit.

The pair mirrored each other in smelling the drink deeply, knocking it back and loudly returning the glasses to the table. They held themselves still for two frozen breaths, then faced the ceiling to exhale deeply. The air wavered above them, like they had exhaled a summer's heat haze.

"Remind me why you insisted on poisoning the girl tonight?" Van asked with a smirk.

"It's not poison. How many times must we have this discussion?"

"Until you admit that I'm right."

"The dose makes the poison. That's always been true. That amount couldn't have hurt anything."

"Yet, it's enough to detect a demonic cultivator? Just because they wouldn't have their soul ripped out of them by the poison, doesn't mean it's non-toxic."

"It had to be done."

"Three times, apparently." Van paused to let Long grimace in response. "The last time you killed someone. Did they die mysteriously from blood loss, or from your blade?"

"They drowned in their own blood and my water qi. But I understood your point the first time."

Van poured the second round. They skipped smelling the drink this time, but held it in for slightly longer.

"She's had her dessert, and this counts as yours."

"Then we skipped a course."

"Do you think she should trust us enough for another?"

"You could make it instead."

"I made her dessert, and I was surprised she didn't question it. Probably only because it was mortal fare."

Long grimaced. "A mortal's dessert? What a miserable end to the night."

"She liked it a lot more than how you ended the night."

"It wasn't poison." Long chopped his hand down on the table, softly, just enough to make his point.

"Still feeling defensive? Maybe it's not about what it was. Yun explained it and she readily forgave the restaurant."

"She understands? Then I should go talk to her." Long stood.

"No. You will do no such thing." Van poured their third round. "Not yet. Probably not tonight at all."

The sect cultivator froze at the words. Then returned to his seat for the drink.

They sat in silence. Long was clearly deep in thought until he poured their fourth round. They lifted the glasses towards each other, but switched to just sipping the clear liquid.

"What a waste of a night. She needs to learn some discipline. And to learn the custom of accepting apologies without lashing out."

"Long. Friend. You wasted the night, not her."

He snapped his gaze up and held it for a breath. "I didn't have a tantrum from a harmless drink I didn't like."

"That's the drink talking. You convinced Yun to lie to her face about the tea. You insisted on undermining your own apology with this ghost hunt. You made light of her complaints. You refused to just explain it to her when she caught on, and you sat passively like you did nothing wrong."

"I did nothing wrong."

"You did everything wrong. This whole night was unnecessary, and you know it. She was more excited to spend time with Fairy Yun, and have that mortal dessert than the entire meal you insisted on serving."

He turned away.

A breath later his glare snapped back to Van. Eyes narrowed. "You made her iced cream." He emphasized the name.

Van smirked.

"You told me it was reserved for a special occasion."

"And I used it for a very special occasion. It's not every day a lost soul from Earth shows up."

"But you said-"

"I said no earlier because we didn't know she was a lost soul, or from Earth." Van looked down at the jug and re-corked it. "You're losing your resistance to this stuff."

"The rain took more out of me than I'd like."

"Tell her. She needs to know that you actually felt something from that disaster."

Long shook his head. "I can't."

The silence stretched again.

"So what now? I assume I can't try this again."

Van nodded.

"She might not get into the sect."

"I'm not a betting man, but I'd wager... a lot, that if she doesn't enter. It's because she chooses not to. Do you know what she said to me earlier? She said she was worried about you."

"What?" Long frowned and brought his glass to his lips.

"She might not have known the first responsibility of teachers. But she sure knows the second."

Long froze with the glass at his mouth. The pause lasted a breath then he put the glass down and wiped at his mouth. "Ack! P-waa." He summoned a waterskin and rinsed his mouth. "Dammit Van. How do you always get me like that?"

He shrugged through a chuckle. "It's never my fault that you forget to swallow."

"Once or twice maybe. Yet, your timing is too consistent to be waved off."

"Why, thank you. Timing is very important." He locked eyes with the spluttering cultivator.

Long slowed and searched for the intended meaning.

"Even the slightest change, a spice added at the right time, half a breath longer on the grill. These things can have a huge impact on what something is, or means."

"You're not usually so blunt."

"You're not usually so dense."

"It was the righteous thing to do. We needed to do it."

"Yes, when we made the plans it sure seemed that way." Van sighed loudly. "I'd like to say that if you explained why you were apologizing to the girl, that we would have caught the obvious fact you were undermining your own apology. But I'm not sure, cultivators are awfully dense sometimes. We might have just argued it away as the right and righteous thing to do. That, or that it needed to be done, and who would care if she discovered the deception."

Van stood and collected his empty glass and the jug. Long swirled the remainder of his, staring deeply into it.

"I can't tell you how to fix this. Or even if it needs to be fixed. What I can say is that you've lost her trust. If she were just some other teenager, you could shrug and forget this, but we both know how lost souls move through this world. How they slice through fate like it doesn't exist." He sighed heavily again, then began to leave.

As he reached the door, Long spoke, "Van, old friend. Thank you for the drink. And the advice... Especially for the advice."

Van smiled back at him. "Any time, old friend."

Chapter 18: "Side Door."

Shae's review and preparation took a bit longer than expected. Partly because of Yun asking exactly what she was doing and how this specific practice had been progressing.

Once they were finally leaving, Shae hesitated at the door. "Is Long still in the building?"

"Hmm, yes he is moping at the table where you left him."

"Moping?"

Yun shrugged.

Shae frowned. "Well, is there a side door? I don't want to run into him."

"Hmm... Yes, follow me."

They cut through the upstairs hallway and exited into another dining room. Then passed through a dark set of glass doors and out onto a balcony.

"Oh? I didn't see an external staircase." The girl asked.

"Right, because there isn't one. Ready?" Yun grabbed her hand.

"Uhm, sure?" The girl blushed. Then she yelped loudly as Yun lifted her up and jumped off the balcony. The fall was so quick she didn't have time to inhale and scream properly.

"Ah!" She gasped. "Warning next time!"

"Hehehe, I asked if you were ready, what did you think we would do?"

She gaped, jaw moving but not forming words, until, "I don't know. Who jumps off a balcony?"

"Ha ha-ha. Cultivators who can do it as easily as taking a step. Get used to it, some buildings don't even include stairs."

"What!? But that's-" Shae stopped herself and thought it through. "Actually, I suppose that makes sense. I'm surprised they don't build them anyways, make it a statement of wealth."

"Oh some do. There are some buildings with expensively-made ultra-fragile stairs. To show excess wealth. And so the owners can show-off even more by actually using the stairs without breaking them."

"Huh. Oh, like the fashion Jani mentioned!"

"Yep exactly. Let's get moving, the rain's stopped, but there should still be steam-fog in some areas that will look lovely."

"Oh, uh, I need to fix my qi practice, your little stunt spooked me into dropping it."

Yun giggled again.

A quarter hour and a li of peaceful walking later, Shae's qi practice was under control enough for conversation. "The city does look quite nice at night."

Yun smiled. "And we're nearly at the forging district, where it will look even better. The glow of the forges is spectacular, and only improves with the steam from the rain."

"Oooo!" Shae cooed as they rounded the corner.

"M-hm! Oh, and you reminded me earlier. Jani said she'd like to meet you again, later in your life."

"Yeah? She sort of said that to me, too. I think she said I need to be at core-stage..." The girl was quite distracted by the sights around her. "And um, something about making a name for myself?"

"Hmmm. Sounds about right. She likes to set a high bar so she isn't swarmed by young Fairies constantly, but don't be discouraged. Any time you are even near the city, please stop in to see us. I'll be very interested in your progress, and I'm sure Van would enjoy the visit, too."

"Of course! I said we were friends, didn't I? What kind of friend would I be to not stop in."

"Hah, well, you'd be surprised or disappointed how quickly people forget their friends in the search for enlightenment." She gave a sorrowful grin.

"Like I'm going to forget the only person who has iced cream on this backwater planet!"

"Ha ha ha ha!" Yun's laugh was clear and loud.

Shae found herself grinning widely at her friend's laugh, and not blushing this time.

"Speaking of planets, can we discuss your past?"

The girl hesitated.

"Oh, but first! About Jani. She's really not that picky. If you progress quickly, I think she'd love to see you after only five or six years. I've heard of people making their core easily within that time."

"Ah! Thanks, that's good to know. As for my past... It's not off-limits or anything. I'd just-" she paused, then forced out a loud sigh. "Growing up again, I had a lot of time to think, and I decided to put most of my past behind me."

Yun reached over and grabbed the girl's hand, she gave it a squeeze then held it gently. "Loss and grief are difficult. Even worse when you have no one to talk to."

Shae squeezed back. "Thank you. I was forced into spending a lot of time in my own head, but I know I wasn't alone. I had my family. My mom was really attentive, and all about physical contact. It kind of messed me up," she winced, "because I really miss her hugs sometimes."

Yun stopped and turned Shae to face her. "There's nothing wrong with that." She grabbed the girl in a powerful hug and squeezed.

"Ugh, Yun." The woman relaxed but didn't let go. Shae returned the hug and found herself tearing up. "Th- Thank you." She forced out before giving in to her tears.

Tears from both women and many comforting hugs later they continued their walk.

"Oh, I need to reset the practice again." Shae sniffled.

"Let's walk a bit more first. I had some questions about it, if you don't mind?" Yun pulled her along.

"Okay."

"I'm curious what your focus for the practice is. The intro mentioned thinking about questions and goals?"

"Mmhm. Yeah. Mostly just cultivation stuff. To do with my qi and... well, after today, how I want to interpret aspects of it."

"So, you have been giving it some thought then?"

"Uhm. Kind of? I mean it's just that my recent enlightenment was related, and talking about my qi with Long helped." She paused in her steps and grabbed her forehead. "Ugh. Am I too mad at him? He was a little helpful."

"You're allowed to be as angry as you want. Expect it to fade, but for now, feel what you need to feel. We live long enough that resisting emotion only harms us." She looked at the girl. "Back to your practice. You're halfway through, right? It sounds like you haven't put that much thought into your own questions."

"I guess, yeah. I thought that was the point of the practice though. To answer the questions for me."

"It might be. I haven't read the whole thing, but from the little we've discussed, I think it's just a helping hand. It is designed for new cultivators, so its reach is limited. Let's say you asked me each of your questions. Don't, I don't need to answer them for you, especially if they're personal to your journey. So let's say that I did, and you didn't like the answers, what would you do?"

"Hmm, ask for clarification? Or rephrase my question to be clearer about what I want, then see if you give the same answer."

"And there's the problem. I didn't say we would have a discussion about it. Just that I gave you an answer."

Shae's eyes snapped wide. "Oh!"

"Heh heh, exactly! This isn't a magic box that will give you all the related information. It might be as simple as a yes or no, if you get any answers at all."

"Huh? You think I won't get answers? And have I been wasting my time by not thinking about it?"

"Hmm, you've probably not wasted anything. It is designed for new cultivators, for people who would make that same mistake. As for the answers, have you heard of the coin flip trick, for making decisions?"

"Uh, yes. I understand the concept of a randomized outcome." The girl stared up blankly at the Fairy.

Yun smirked and resisted a laugh. "Well there's an extra trick you can do to break indecisiveness. Everything is the same except at the end: you don't look at the result."

"Um, isn't the random result the whole point?"

"The point is to make a decision. Having it pulled out of your control, even for just the breadth of a coin flip," as she spoke she flourished a hand and flicked a coin into the air. "Usually that is enough to realize what you really wanted." She caught the coin, then flourished her hand again, showing it had vanished.

"Huh. That's less impressive knowing you have a storage item, but I think I get your point."

"Heh, and it's less impressive because you can't sense whether I used the storage item or not. So, how does it relate to your practice, explain it back to me."

Shae sighed dramatically and rolled her eyes. Explain it back to me, classic teacher trick. She stopped suddenly. "You're actually trying to teach me stuff!?"

"Of course! You didn't think we were all as stingy as old Long, did you?" She chuckled.

Shae stepped in and wrapped her in a quick side hug, then looped her arm through Yun's so they could keep walking.

"Besides, what horrible trouble could you get up to with this? With anything?"

"With anything! I'll have you know I've already..." She talked off and frowned.

Yun continued her laugh, "See! Innocent as can be."

"Hmm. No, not quite. Just doesn't feel right to joke about it."

Yun quickly controlled her amusement. "Hmm. That's rough to hear, but it still validates my point. Whatever it is, that reaction means you're treating it with maturity beyond your years."

"Pffft." Shae half laughed. "That's a terrible joke."

"Then why did you laugh? Come on now, tell me what you learned." She playfully bumped the girl sideways.

"Okay okay." She took a deep breath and exhaled to gather her thoughts. "The special qi practice might not be super-divination. It might just be making me work through my own problems. Especially if some of it is indecisiveness."

"Hmm, a good summary. And what do you need to do now?"

"I need to think through the questions. Work out all the information that I could have figured out on my own."

Yun squeezed her hand.

"And talk to the people around me. I'll have to double check, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't say I can't ask for help."

"Great! So, what right now?"

"Now... I need to start the practice up again, and think about what my questions were."

Yun smiled warmly and directed Shae to a bench.

A few dozen slow breaths of meditation later and Shae's eyes snapped open. "Aahh!" She inhaled sharply.

"What is it?" Yun reached a hand out to steady the girl.

"It... Clicked."

"Hmm? What did?"

"The qi structure that the practice had been making. It, like, snapped, or turned over. In a good way. Like when a key fits perfectly into a good lock, and you turn it over to get that satisfying ka-chunk."

"That's... Good." Yun raised her eyebrows.

"Yea, and it happened three times. In different parts of the thing."

"The thing? This qi structure you mentioned? Was that mentioned in the practice?"

"Um. Yea. I think it was mentioned in passing."

"Did it say that you should be able to feel it?" Yun smiled and raised an eyebrow at Shae.

"Uhm. Not that I specifically remember. We could check the manual?"

Yun looked around, "Hmm, it's still wet right here. I know a friend in this area, let's go see if we can use his table."

"Ah! Sure. Sure." She mumbled, falling into thought.

As they walked, the girl couldn't keep in her curiosity. "Yun, what do you think it means?"

Yun smirked. "What do you think it means?"

She tilted her eyes. "Ugh, not you too!" She dropped her face into Yun's arm which she had grabbed to hold onto as they left the bench.

"Don't give me that. You're smart. You can think it out."

Shae smiled but kept her face down, this time from slight embarrassment. "Thanks for the vote of confidence." She said with sincerity.

Yun used her free hand to mess up the girl's short hair. "Of course."

Shae snorted and giggled briefly. "Okay. I guess it means I did something right."

"Just something?"

"Well, probably what we just talked about. Hmm, oh! You said it was made for new cultivators that would make the same mistake. So, this is- it's like confirmation that I did the right thing?"

"Sounds about right."

"Not just about right, I'm sure it's right. There were three clicks, so that's the first three steps... There's twelve steps, but the first and last might not count."

"Oh? Why not?"

"Well the first step was setting up the whole qi structure. That's when I first noticed it. And last is probably setting it off. Oh! It's like Mouse-Trap!"

"You're going to catch rodents with it?"

"Eh, no, Mouse Trap. Ah! Sorry. That's an Earth proper noun. Do you have dominoes?" She couldn't translate the name so had to explain the idea of toppling dominoes.

"Oh, that sounds like Toy Soldiers. The strategic war game." Yun nodded.

"What? Wait, I think I've heard of that in passing. It's a strategy war-game? How is that like toppling dominoes?"

"If you've seen it played you would know. It's a placement game, like Go, but the pieces are tall pillars that can topple. Players keep placing them, wherever and facing however they like, there's no grid like in Go. They continue until they are toppled accidentally, or one player decides to end the game by tipping one on purpose."

Shae titled her head as she imagined a chaotic Go board scattered with dominoes, and a small bump toppling half the field. The familiarity of Go passed by her without a thought. Someone had brought Go from Earth and popularized it, they had even played the smaller boards in Shae's village. That had been the first hint that she wasn't the first earthling to be reincarnated here.

"As you could guess, toppled pieces are considered out of the game, and a winner is declared based on the remaining pieces."

"Sounds fun, but really hard to play? You'd have to predict how the pieces fall very precisely."

"Correct! It's almost exclusively played by cultivators. They even add in extra pieces that are different sizes and weights to represent more powerful soldiers."

"Oh! I can see why you called it a strategy game, then. Otherwise it just seems like a toy."

"Heh, well that is why the common name is Toy Soldiers. So, is that closer to dominoes or Mousetrap?"

"Ugh, that's almost an RTS- err, no, I shouldn't say, because we'll be here all night digging into that rabbit hole. Setting up and knocking down dominoes isn't really a game, so that's probably closer to Mousetrap. But in all three, there's tension in setting up the individual pieces, then a lot of satisfaction knocking them down."

"Quite the diversion to explain what you were expecting from the qi structure?"

"Oh! Right! Hah heh hmm." Shae rubbed her neck, then squinted and frowned with thought. "Hrmm, not quite the perfect analogy, Mousetrap is more complex and harder to follow what should happen next. Well, okay it's not. It's made for kids, but the chain reaction contraption idea is what I mean. We have another name for that too, but it's just some guy's name."

"Another name for a chain-reaction-contraption? What for? That has a very nice ring to it."

"Hah, it does!" Shae chuckled.

"So, a convoluted qi structure- oh! Here we are!" Yun moved them off the main path to a shop door.

Even in the starlight, Shae got the impression that it was a smithy of some kind. The smell of charcoal was heavy in the air, and had been for some time. The real giveaway was that the sign over the door had the silhouette of an anvil.

The darkened shop looked almost abandoned compared to the well lit displays along the street. Shae couldn't even find the shop's name before Yun took them past the front entrance and to the side door. She knocked loudly, then after a few breaths spotted something, "Oh! There's a note... Away on vacation." She huffed.