Homeless Bunny (RWBY/Campione)

Homeless Bunny 12

Roman and the Maiden were taken by the blonde, S&M librarian, presumably to be processed into the local justice system somehow. I didn't care; it really wasn't my business how Vale handled their criminals.

Ruby and I were led to the local police office, where we were crammed in a small interrogation room and told to sit still. She looked around nervously, fidgeting with her weapon.

"Stop squirming, Ruby. We're not in any trouble," I reassured her.

"Yes we are! What if we get arrested? What if I get expelled from Signal? Do you know who that was? That was Glynda Goodwitch! The vice headmistress of Beacon!" she rambled. It was getting a little annoying so I reached over and gently clamped her mouth shut. She still kept talking. "Mmmph! Mmphmmnn!"

Finally, after several seconds of incoherent mumbling, she quieted down. "Are you done?" I asked with an unimpressed stare.

"Yes? Oh, Brothers, we're in so much trouble…"

"We're not. For starters, if you were in trouble, they would have taken your weapon, unless Vale is full of idiots and they don't disarm potential criminals. Well?"

"My baby…"

"Second, you were stopping a robbery. The shopkeeper is witness. Why would you be in trouble?"

"Y-Yeah. Yeah! I stopped a robbery! I mean… Professor Goodwitch showed up and you were the one who caught the bullhead… But I helped!" she cheered. I really wasn't sure if she was bipolar or just naturally excitable anymore.

"Sure, kid. You helped. Now settle down. I'm sure they're waiting for whoever Ozpin is. The blonde said I'm his problem or something."

"You don't know who Professor Ozpin is?"

"Why would I know that? I assume he's some hunter? Or maybe a professor of anthropology who studied the Maidens?"

"But he's Professor Ozpin!"

"Again, no idea."

"He's the headmaster of Beacon!" she gasped, arms flailing wildly. She looked like a child who'd caught a fish "thiisss biiggg!"

Still, that did sound important. And if mentioning the Maidens made me his problem, that also meant he was the foremost expert on them, or what passed for expert around here. From our brief exchange on the airship, I could tell that the woman, Cinder, hadn't told Roman about being a Maiden either. That suggested that their existence was supposed to be a secret. This jived with my own research so far. If they were public knowledge, their deeds would be in history textbooks, not folklore anthologies.

Question was, why? Why did a Maiden suddenly feel the need to turn to a life of crime? Why risk exposing herself this way? And why steal dust when her magic could easily replicate the effect?

I dismissed my ponderings. It could be as simple as her and Roman bumping uglies and her deciding to do him a favor. Or, there could be something more in the background, something that caused one of the four defenders of humanity to abandon it all. There was no use wondering until I spoke with Cinder again.

The door creaked open, admitting the same blonde from earlier and a man in an olive-green suit who wore sunglasses indoors. He had silver hair and dull brown eyes and wore a green scarf with a silver cross clasp.

But more than anything about his appearance, I felt his mana. He was the first I'd met in this world to have fully developed magic, and not the limited pathways of superheroes in my world or the haphazard, instinctive power that was the Semblances used by huntsmen here.

He tried to keep his face blank, and did an admirable job of it, but I could tell by how tightly he held his cane that he knew what I was. Or, he could at least feel the absurd amounts of mana I was giving off. To him, I must have felt like a supernova.

To me, he felt not unlike a great knight of one of the European mage orders, kind of like Erica Blandelli of the Copper Cross. Or the Bronze Cross? Copper Black Cross?

Whatever, brat was mouthy and annoying. Luo Hao punted her into the sea and banned her order from our territories after she tried to start a harem for me… or something… Even decades later, I wasn't clear on what she was trying to achieve.

I motioned to the seat across from us. "You must be Ozpin. Honestly, I shouldn't be surprised the only mage I've met so far is also the Beacon headmaster. Please, take a seat."

Ozpin handed his cane to Goodwitch and pulled up a chair. He studied me, outwardly calm but with his heart hammering in his chest. Finally, he took a deep breath and said, "You're magic."

"I am, and so are you."

"How?"

"I murdered a bunnygirl and mom thought it was funny."

"Why are you in Vale?"

"Some bastard broke my house so I'm homeless for the moment. I'm trying to look for him so I can rip his leg off and club him to death with it."

"I'm sorry to hear that…"

"Thanks, no one ever believes me when I say that even though I've been entirely honest the whole time," I said sincerely.

"You… People like you don't crop up without reason."

"That we do not. So, how about you answer some of my questions?"

"I… I'm sure we can come to an agreement. However, first, what is your name?"

"Oh, sorry, I guess I should have started with that. I am Tianyu Yue, Jade Rabbit, Divine Chef, Sovereign of the Lunar Palace, Master of the Fluffles, and currently a homeless bunny," I said with a polite bow. Many of my siblings would have made demands, but it wasn't in my nature to throw my weight around outside the kitchen.

"I see… It's nice to meet you, young man. I am Professor Ozpin, the headmaster at Beacon Academy, and as you've gathered, a wizard of some modest skill."

He'd been rubbing me the wrong way, not in anything he said, but the way his mana pooled inside him. If his mana reserves were a pot of soup, it looked as if someone had ladled out the majority, leaving behind the dregs. Those dregs had been left to stagnate, a poor imitation of what he must have once been.

Yet, even from those dregs, I could taste a complex blend of flavors. Fire, lightning, wind, water, earth, wood… It seemed as if he had once possessed all the naturally occurring elements, maybe even more.

"Are… Are you a wizard or the wizard?" I asked him curiously. I'd hoped the wizard who had made the Maidens so many millennia ago would still be around and powerful, but the man who stood before me was less than even Cinder. "Or are you his descendant?"

"Of a sort," he said finally. "You said you were looking for the man who destroyed your house, do you know who he is?"

"The God of Darkness. I was up there a while back and felt the divine mana. The darkness affinity is kinda hard to miss, you know? Know where I can find him?"

He stilled. He paled. I could hear the cold sweat trickle down the back of his neck. Beside us, Ruby and Goodwitch watched us, not a clue as to the subtext. I knew then that he knew something. Better, he knew that I knew that he knew something.

I allowed a wide grin to break on my face and waited for him to speak.

"He… The gods abandoned humanity," he said finally.

"But you know how to call them back."

"This was many thousands of years ago," he tried, "Surely we can let bygones be bygones?"

"Nope. The moon is my house. And it is now in shards. Tell me, Ozpin, how do I call the gods? Or really, just the one. I'm not interested in the glowstick."

"I…"

"Yes?"

"The method will destroy the world."

It took a while, but I finally coaxed the full story from the wizard's descendant. Apparently, there were four Relics, of Creation, Destruction, Knowledge, and Choice. These were all scattered around the globe and could act as a beacon that would bring the gods back if they were ever brought together.

However, the gods apparently did not leave on good terms. They declared that when they returned, they would judge humanity. If humans could live in peace and harmony, the gods would restore magic to the world. If humans were their naturally conflict-prone selves, they would destroy the world altogether.

I was starting to understand why this world was called "Remnant" now.

I sighed. That left me in quite the pickle. I doubted he'd help me find the Relics, if he even knew where they were. I could try to beat the information out of him, but that'd cause a lot of issues for Vale. It wasn't lost on me how important his job was; he was the headmaster of the primary institution responsible for the security of the kingdom. Losing him would probably have lots of cascading effects I couldn't foresee.

I wasn't quite that selfish.

More, he seemed to truly believe that the gods would arrive together, and that they'd destroy the world if summoned. With that kind of consequence, even if I was willing to torture him to death, he wouldn't tell me shit.

And even if he thought I could in fact fight a god and win, I totally could, he'd naturally be leery about calling two of them. Not to mention, he knew such a battle wouldn't be without danger to the world as it was.

I slumped and thumped my head against the interrogation room table. It looked like collecting the Relics was something I'd have to do on my own. Or I could give up on revenge and just… wait for the moon to fix itself…

"Well what am I supposed to do now? I had two leads, Ruby's magic eyes and the Maidens and now both are duds."

The room was silent, the two adults letting me wallow in my misery. Ruby reached over and pet my ears. She wasn't bad, a bit amateurish, but she clearly had practice in the sacred art of ear scritches. Maybe she had a pet? Or a faunus boyfriend?

"There, there…"

I turned a little so I could raise an eyebrow at her. "Do I look like a child to you?"

"Umm…"

"Ugh, don't answer that. It's fine. The moon will repair itself gradually. I'll just have to wait. And maybe hunt down the Relics on my own."

"You could… be a huntsman…?" Ruby proposed gingerly. "I mean, hear me out. You're super strong. And you can save so many people. And, and, it's not like you have anything else to do, right? Maybe you'll hear about the Relics as you work?"

"I like being a chef though."

"But you need information. You said it yourself; you're not going to find any leads here."

"Hmm… I doubt they'll just let me register as a huntsman," I said. "Hell, I'm pretty sure half those idiots outside think I'm a terrorist still."

"Not anymore," Ozpin said dryly. "That much, I cleared up. Miss Rose does bring up an interesting idea. I had intended to invite Miss Rose to Beacon."

"Isn't she a bit young?"

"I believe in her."

"R-Really?" Ruby gasped. "Me? Beacon?"

"That's what I said."

"YES! Tianyu! I'm going to Beacon!"

"I heard," I drawled. "And I suspect he wants me to attend as well."

"I do," Ozpin said. "You require the right educational background to be a huntsman. And though you are certainly strong enough to not require training, being a Beacon graduate will open doors that might otherwise be closed."

I heard what he was really saying: He could open doors for me. Information was everything. No matter how strong I was, it wasn't like I planned to raze every city to the ground until someone gave me the Relics. Beacon, being one of the four great huntsman academies, was probably like Princeton in my world, just being a student at this school would force people to treat me with some respect.

Legitimacy.

I needed that.

It wasn't as though I had anything against being a huntsman either. Despite my passion, all Campione were creatures of conflict. No matter how selfish we might individually seem, we were first and foremost protectors who stood against gods. Even Voban and Alec, douchebags that they were, stood with us when we faced the King of the End. When push came to shove, we were shields of man.

Next to me, Ruby stared at me with puppy eyes. She was dangerously good at that.

Faster than she could see, my finger lashed out to flick her nose.

"Ow!"

"You don't have to give me that look, Ruby. I was going to say yes anyway." I turned and leveled Ozpin with a solemn stare. "I do however have conditions."

"Name them," he said.

"I want kitchen access. Food is life. Cooking is art. Cuisine is history. I won't abandon my art just to play student at your school."

"Done. The dorms have kitchens. You can also use the cafeteria at your leisure."

"I want to choose my teammates." I'd heard hunters operated in teams of four.

"You have people in mind?"

"Two. The twins at the club I work at. I'm teaching them anyway so they may as well come with me to Beacon. If I'm going to school again, I refuse to suffer alone. Their tortu-training is my source of entertainment. Besides, turning a pair of assassins onto the path of good is what you're all about, right?"

"As you wish." Behind him, Goodwitch looked at us like a woman staring at a trainwreck. I had the feeling she would be the one doing the paperwork for this. She looked to be studiously ignoring the 'assassin' part. "Two more invitations can be arranged."

"I also wish to speak with the Maiden. Cinder, I think her name was. She might know something."

"She is not a Maiden," Ozpin frowned. "She is… an usurper."

"She stole a Maiden's power somehow?"

"Yes, it's like this…"

Ozpin told me about Salem, the supposed Queen of the Grimm, and how the real Fall Maiden had been attacked. It was one more bombshell of the night and I could tell Ruby desperately wanted to ask questions but felt too intimidated to voice them.

By the time he finished, I rolled my eyes. "So, some kind of soul-draining magic? Took half the Maiden's powers? Easy."

"Easy?"

I dug around in my pocket and pulled out a cake-pop. "Here. Feed this to that Amber girl. She'll be fine after this."

"You make food that heals."

"I'm a chef," I said, staring at him like he was stupid. "Of course I make food. What else would I do?"

"And this will fix a torn soul."

"Yup. Yin yang manipulation. Not terribly complicated."

"Soul magic is one of the most dangerous arts known to man."

"Look, my oldest brother got chucked into a supernova before. Completely atomized. Annoying bastard resurrected himself. Trust me, this really isn't complicated in comparison."

"I…" he sighed, resigned to my bullshit. "As you wish. Will you accept her as your fourth teammate?"

"Of course," I nodded, satisfied. I didn't need the fake-Maiden if I had the real deal after all. She got protection, I got a minion. I held out a hand for him to shake. "Then we have a deal, professor."

"We do. I am happy to welcome three gifted students."

If his hands seemed a tad clammy, I didn't point it out.

Author's Note

Tianyu is working off incomplete information. Ozpin has a very good poker face. Just assume the conversation with Ruby went more or less as expected in the background.

Thank you for reading. Believe it or not, this is the seventh website I've crossposted to. I want to make sure this site catches up with the others, but it's slow, tedious work. Until then, other sites will have a much more updated library of my works. If you want to read ahead, or check out other stories I've written, you can find them all on my Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/fabled.webs.