ALL NOVEL Chapter 9: Points of time
Joan barely paid attention when she arrived at the baths, letting the attendant help her get rinsed off and guide her to the heated bath below the castle. She wondered if they had a hydromancer working in the castle or if they brought the water in one bucket at a time. As large and hot as the pool was, she imagined the former. Even in her past lives her home had nothing even remotely as large or extravagant, though the dwarves had ones under their city that put even this to shame. Still, it was beyond anything she’d ever been able to use in this life.
She rubbed a hand along the smooth stone. Now that she thought about it, the castle itself was likely hundreds of years old now. If not longer. She wondered if the reason she never saw baths like this outside of the castle in the human lands were just that they didn’t have the resources to build them She held out her right hand and tried to use her magic to draw some of the water to her hand, but that just sent a sharp pain into her palm. “I’m not ready, am I?” she whispered to herself. They wouldn’t have any opportunities to build them in this cycle, either.
Joan tried to focus on all of the things she’d learn and would learn. All of the lives she’d been through. It made her head ache and she sunk just a little more into the water. Every single memory had a thousand different versions of themselves mixing inside her head, connecting to new things and ideas that all seemed desperate to push their way to the surface. “Can’t you all just shut up?” she asked the memories, though she knew it wouldn’t do any good. She felt so desperate for answers, but the deeper she looked the more painful and impossible it felt to dig through all of them.
She wondered what she would do if this was too much for her? What if no hero could save everything and she’d doomed everything even worse than before? What if this was the time that everything collapsed and the world ended?
Joan closed her eyes and leaned back, giving a soft sob. “I don’t want it to end, though,” she whispered. “I just want to win. Please. By the gods, just let me set things right. Let me fix this. I’m sorry I was arrogant. I’m sorry I was pompous. I’m sorry I overstepped my bounds. I’m sorry for so, so, so much. So please, just this once, let me win. Let me be strong enough to fix everything,” she pleaded to the heavens. She wondered if the gods would even listen to her now. After all she had done, did they loathe her as well? Did they know? Did they see what she had done across a thousand life times? Or did, could, the Three Sisters keep it separate from even them?
For a moment she wondered what would happen if she died now and just gave up. Would she got to the afterlife? The gods hadn’t been separated from the world, at least not yet. Would she be spared the fate that awaited so many?
She reached up and slapped her cheeks. “No. No no. Stop that. NO!” she said firmly. “I am not doing that. I don’t care even if I have to go mad doing it. I will fix everything. I WILL succeed. I don’t care what--”
Joan froze, that feeling running down her spine again. She looked around, certain SOMEONE was watching her. Yet there wasn’t anyone. “Hello?” she called out. After a few moments she sighed and leaned back in the water. “Probably just some echo of everything,” she said, a part of her hoping that saying it out loud made it more likely. The feeling had, once again, faded. “There’s got to be a way to clear all this up,” she mumbled softly before closing her eyes and leaning back in the tub.
For the first time in a while, though, she felt almost relaxed. She’d always been a fighter at heart and soaking after a long workout always made her feel more relaxed. The warmth from the water slowly began to sap away the pain and discomfort before slowly lulling her away into sleep.
------
The burning. The screams. The searing agony from her skin slowly melting off her bones. She screamed and tried to fight the flames, but there was no mercy or safety here. They’d failed and no everyone would pay the eternal price for her failure. The laughter of the Inferno God echoed through her ears, taunting her mercilessly.
Each breath sent more agony through her body, the smoke melting her from the inside, though the death felt so slow. If only she’d been just a little stronger.
------
Joan awoke with a shriek and tried to sit up, but something warm was holding her down. Worse, the room was so dark she couldn’t see anything. She wasn’t in the baths anymore, though. A few moments of helpless struggling told her all she needed to know. She was laying in her bed again, the blanket tucked in tightly around her. “Damn it,” she whispered. “Can I not even take a bath without passing out now?” she asked. She slowly wiggled the blanket loose enough she could lower it enough she could raise herself a little and get on her hands and knees.
The movement made her feel light headed and a bit nauseous. On top of that, she was incredibly thirsty. “Hello?” she called out before finally freeing herself enough she could try to climb off the bed. Her foot caught in the bedding, however, and she fell off the side with a shriek.
Joan heard the door open and mentally cursed. Half on the floor, half still buried in the bedding, she couldn’t think it could get much more embarrassing.
“Having trouble, prodigy?” Hardwin asked.
“I stand corrected,” Joan said, though mentally she kicked herself. She should have known better than to think that, the fates were not ones to tempt. At least whoever hauled her out of the bath had made sure to dress her in one of the thin robes to sleep in. She heard Hardwin’s footsteps and tried to right herself, but before she could he was at her side and lightly lifting her back into the bed. After a moment he tucked her in. “I’m thirsty,” she said, staring up at him.
“I imagine you’re hungry as well,” Hardwin said before motioning towards the small desk. On it a pair of small meat pies were resting, along with a large mug. “I hear you’ve had quite the last couple of days,” he said before handing her the mug.
“You have no idea. You shouldn’t have left,” Joan said, trying to look as fearsome and annoyed as she could, even as she downed the contents of the drink. Juice of some kind, she couldn’t truly identify it. It was at least sweet.
“I’m the chosen of--”
“You have a duty to the world,” she cut him off, shaking her head before holding out the mug. He took it, though the look of annoyance on his face made her struggle to avoid snorting. “Trust me. I know better than anyone else in this entire world just what your duties entail. What my duties are. If you don’t think I haven’t spent every moment of the last few days thinking about it, you’re daft.”
His eyes widened slightly and his brow furrowed in annoyance, but he didn’t talk back.
She was a little surprised she didn’t feel bad for it, but she just felt too tired. “Please at least tell me I didn’t sleep away another day. What happened?”
Hardwin gave a soft sigh before pulling a chair over to sit on besides the bed. “You passed out in the baths. You’re lucky you didn’t drown. You were overheated when they pulled you out.”
Joan blinked a few times and just stared at him. “You’re kidding.”
“I am not.”
She couldn’t help but snort at that, a hand moving to cover her mouth. Just the very idea of it seemed so preposterous. “Really? I have been dumped in magma, buried under the still burning body of a lava titan, enveloped in the flames of the Inferno God himself. Yet a bit of hot water almost overheated me to death?” she asked. “Please. You can see WHY this is so silly and preposterous, can’t you?”
“Vaguely. Though, if I can be quite honest with you? I have gone over this discussion in my head at least a thousand times over the last few days. It hasn’t at all been what I expected. People, usually, treat me with a bit more respect,” Hardwin said, scowling at her.
“Meh,” Joan said with a shrug.
“What do you mean ‘meh’?”
“I mean, well. I know you. I know you better than you know you. I know every skill you’ll learn, I know how you fight. I know how you’ll think. I know the tricks and traps you’ll fall for. I know how you’ll react to the other chosen. I know who you are. Besides, it’s really hard to be too scared of you.”
“Oh? And why is that?” he asked, glaring at her now.
“I’ve seen you stabbed, crying, screaming, covered in mud, covered in, err, filth, naked, wine shooting out your nose, so shocked that you can’t even mutter a single word, covered from head to toe in pink petals and everything inbetween. I’ve seen you at your worst and best. Most of all, though? There’s just this feeling. Of all people in the world, I know you won’t hurt me. It’s instinctual, I think? I just know. If there’s anyone who I can be entirely open and honest with, it’s you. You’ve never let me down before, I find it unlikely you’ll start now. Besides...”
“Yes?” he asked, crossing his arms and, she imagined, trying to look annoyed. To her it looked more like he was trying to suck on a lemon.
“I’m your daughter now, aren’t I? You’d never hurt me, daddy,” Joan said with a light laugh, before the grin turned rather malevolent.
Hardwin’s scowl faded and he gave a long suffering sigh. “You’re going to be a lot of trouble for me for a long time, aren’t you?”
“If you want you can draw your sword and just stab me,” she said dismissively.
He went still for a long, long time, just staring at her. Finally he gave a soft sigh. “I see. So what they’ve said is true about you.”
Joan felt a small chill go down her spine. “They said? Who said? What about me?”
“The queen. Your guards. The weaponsmaster. Even the attendant at the baths noticed and she only spent a few minutes with you,” Hardwin said, his voice far calmer now.
“I don’t know what you could mean. You can’t--”
“They say you have a death wish.”
“Oh,” Joan said with a shrug. Now that she thought about it, she supposed it could seem that way easily enough. “It’s not true, though. I don’t want to die until this is all over and the world is saved.”
“And after?” Hardwin asked.
“I’ve died a thousand times. I’ll probably die a few hundred more times if any of this is to be believed. Or maybe it’s another torment from the Inferno God. Or maybe the Demon Lord? It seems like the kind of trick he’d play. But if it’s him then the details are incredibly good. Far better than I’d imagine his illusions being capable of doing.”
“Have you told anyone else about this? About your claims?” Hardwin asked, his eyes narrowing on her once more.
“Dear heavens, no. Do I seem insane to you? Don’t answer that!” Joan said quickly, holding up her hand when she saw his mouth open. “No, I’m not. At least, I hope I’m not. Actually, you know, I kind of hope I am. It’d make this so much easier. ‘The world’s going to melt or worse! Wait, no, just my delusions.’ But I kind of have to assume I’m not if I want to fix everything. What kind of proof do you want?”
“You certainly don’t act like a child,” Hardwin said.
“I’ve lived more lives than you’ve lived years. You haven’t told anyone about this, have you?”
“Not yet, no. I didn’t want to say anything until I had a chance to talk with you. Why?” he asked.
“Because the queen can’t know. She hates me,” Joan said with a light shudder.
“HATES you?” Hardwin asked, a grin forming on his lips. “I don’t think she’s capable of hate. If she is, I’ve certainly never seen it.”
“Oh, trust me, she does. Did. Can,” Joan whispered, memories of her yelling and threatening her rising to the surface. “It’s really hard sometimes.”
“You know, when you speak like that it is incredibly unsettling.”
“Like what?”
“Like you really know all of this,” Hardwin said gently. “Like you really did go through everything and came back. I’ll be honest. I really don’t want to believe that.”
Joan gave a small nod. “It wasn’t all bad, for what it’s worth. There were good things. A lot of good times. When we were all together. Sure, we had to fight constantly. There was a lot of pain and suffering. But there were a lot of victories too. A lot of time we were all together. We were even… most of us were happy.”
“Most?”
“My lives were chronicles of failure after failure. I never truly did get it right.”
Hardwin nodded, a solemn look on his face. “I see. Very well. What is it you’ve seen? You say you have all these memories, don’t you? So how does that work?”
Joan slowly lifted her hands to her head, massaging it slowly. She tried to put it into words again, but everything she could think of just felt insignificant. “This is really hard to explain, but I’ll try. Remember when you came into this room?”
“Yes. I used the light spell so I could see you and--”
“Okay. Now imagine that. But imagine it a thousand times. But, on top of that, imagine that, sometimes, things are a little different. Like that chair you’re sitting in,” Joan said, motioning towards his chair. “Sometimes it’s a foot or two to the right. Or it has a cushion. Or there’s not even a chair. Or it’s on the other side of the room. Or instead there’s someone sitting in it. Sometimes there’s nobody in it. Now imagine you have all of those memories at once.”
Hardwin cocked an eye, but nodded. “I see. That sounds disorienting.”
“Exactly. Now imagine each of those memories have a thousand other memories. The person who’s sitting in it? You might remember that once they made a cream tart, or that they had a daughter in ten years from now. Or maybe you remember them getting their head torn off and eaten by a massive giant. But you don’t even get to remember that correctly. Because you also remember that this chair was burned in a fight against an assassin, or also you tripped and hit your head on the floor because of it or once someone sat on it and it broke, hurting them. Then you remember everything else and then none of it really clicks and instead it all just feels so, so familiar. If I try and think on it too much it feels like my head is going to explode. One memory can lead into a thousand memories which each have a thousand of their own. None of it is just there. I can’t go from one to the other, or just remember one in progress. They all connect, but all have different things,” Joan said, slowly rocking back and forth.
Joan felt tears on the brims of her eyes, but she didn’t mind for once. If there was one person she was okay with crying in front of, it was him. “Some things I just know. But other things it’s like there’s a great fog between me and the information. I can meet someone and know all these strange details, like I do with you. For example, later on in the future you’ll wear your boots everywhere if you have your sword with you because of the time you dropped it and almost cut off a toe. But that won’t happen for years, if it happens. I just know that, but it’s not something I can really remember, it just happened enough that I know it’s a thing that happened. And if I dig too deeply it’s just so, so disorienting. But others who weren’t as important to me? I just get this vague recollection. Something about them is familiar. But then if I try and dig too deep, I get this wave of thoughts and memories. Like I’m being tossed into a sea of thoughts. Then a thought, a memory, something will come to mind and I’ll just know it. Or I won’t know it and it’ll get even worse.”
“I have to admit I don’t really understand it,” Hardwin said with a soft sigh.
“I don’t even understand it and it’s me experiencing it. Then there are other moments where it feels like there’s a second person inside me and I’m struggling for control between them. I don’t know if I’m Joan, the hero or someone inbetween.”
“Well, if nothing else I can say you’re something else. Friedrich said after watching you fight he’d never seen anything like it. Children don’t generally fight like that.”
“Well, most children don’t have thousands of years of experience to call on,” Joan said as calmly as she could. “Half the time it doesn’t even feel like it’s me fighting anymore. It’s all instinct, like someone else is controlling me and I don’t even realize it.”
Hardwin gave a nod, though she could see the troubled look on his face. After a few moments he spoke up. “What if I refuse to believe you? What then?”
Joan gave a sigh and shook her head. “Then I’ve failed and I’ll try again. I told you. If you’re not going to help me, can you at least stab me so I can get the next cycle going?”
“Can you please not talk like that?” Hardwin yelled, slamming a fist down on her bed and making it jump. “This is serious!”
Joan gave a light snort. “I’m sorry. It’s hard to take it too seriously. I’ve just died before, Hardwin. I know what’s happening. I know I’m probably going to fail. So I’ll try again. Eventually, maybe, I’ll find a way to fix it. The--” Her mouth was covered with his hand and her eyes widened.
“Joan. I want you to listen to me. I don’t want to hear any more talk like that. Even if I don’t believe you, I swore I’d help you. So stop this. Stop talking as if you’re almost dead. If there is any chance that the world is doomed then we will find a way to avert it. Are we clear?”
Joan stared up at him, even once his hand was pulled away. Then, very slowly, she fell back and gave a sigh. How many times had she said something like that? “I keep passing out.”
“I’m sorry?” Hardwin asked, confusion dominating his features once more.
“I get exhausted and pass out. I can barely maintain a spell more than a few minutes. I couldn’t even hurt the Troll of Reflections,” she said with a small wave of her hand. “I’m not the hero. I needed those powers. Without them, I can’t defeat any of these things. In ten years, maybe. But we don’t have ten years.”
Hardwin gave a small chuckle and shook his head. “Ah. So, even with thousands of years of experience a child is still a child.”
Joan narrowed her eyes on him. “What is THAT supposed to mean?”
“You’re just a child, are you not? I do not need, nor want you to be fighting. That means you let me do the fighting. You rest and recover.”
Anger flowed into her once more and she sat back up, clenching the blankets tightly. “I’m not just a child! I have--”
“You have experience and knowledge I need, correct?” Hardwin asked, his voice firm as stone. “But you can’t fight things like that troll. You almost died. If you push yourself too hard, you will die. You say you’re the hero, then act like it. If you really have all this important information, you staying alive has to be the priority above all else. It has to be more important than your desire to fight or save the day. If you die, the knowledge goes with you, correct?”
Joan opened her mouth to object, but loathe as she was to admit it, she couldn’t think of any adequate response to his argument. She highly doubted that ‘but I want to fight too!’ would qualify. “Fine. You know, I’ve been fighting for far longer than you could even comprehend. As an adult and as a child. I--”
“When you were the hero, correct? Did you ever break your hand punching me then?”
Her cheeks turned redder and she sunk a little under the covers. “I’ve fought in this body, too. As Joan. I--”
“Like you fought the Troll of Reflections?” he asked.
Joan gave a soft sigh, her gaze lowering and her desire to argue fading. All she felt now was weak and helpless. “I’m not worthless.”
“I never said you were. I said you can’t fight like this. I won’t be able to fight, either, if I’m constantly worried about you getting killed. So do you agree?”
“For now, fine,” Joan said, trying desperately to suppress the urge to pout.
“Good then. Assuming I don’t believe your story, the fact remains you are definitely something strange. I cannot ignore the possibility that there is some divine method of the gods bringing you to me. So the important question is, what do we need to do? What do you believe we need to do to save the world?”
“That’s a complex, but answerable question,” Joan said firmly, a small bit of glee going through her at the thought she could finally figure out where they’d start. “As far as I can remember, there are three big points that happened in almost every life. The details of them are all but burned into my mind. The first two always happened and the third happened if we lived long enough, which was usually the case.”
“What are these points?” Hardwin asked.
“The first demon lord. He’s the leader of the cultists trying to resurrect the Inferno God. The second is the resurrection of the Inferno God and the separation of the gods from our realm if we can’t stop it. The last is corruption of a chosen into becoming the second demon lord.”
He didn’t respond immediately, instead seeming to be mulling the words over in his mind for a nearly a moment. “I see. A little information on that, then. What is this Inferno God?”
Joan gave a soft sigh. She wondered how many months of each life did they spend trying to find out about it? At least this time they could start with that information. “The Inferno God was a cruel, wicked god from many millenia ago, apparently predating even the chosen. Sealed away by the current gods, it resides in the very core of our world. If it’s released, however, it’s--” Joan was cut off when new memories filled her mind, making her close her eyes while she tried to process it. Flashes of horrific pain, burning flames and the terrible, horrible screams echoed through her mind. She pushed her blankets off, suddenly feeling too hot. “It is a cruel, wicked monster. The flames don’t burn, they melt. And it will melt the world down to a molten sludge.”
“And in your experience, in those memories of yours? We’ve stopped it sometimes?”
“Not quite. We’ve never actually succeeded, so we had to perform other methods. Times where we didn’t, though? Where we were too slow, were indescribable,” she whispered, wrapping her arms tightly around herself, struggling to push those thoughts away. “The world and all life perished. It CAN be stopped. It can even be destroyed. There are two ways to do it.”
“Oh? That’s appealing. What were the other methods?”
Joan took a slow, deep breath. There were only two that sprang to mind, unfortunately. She suspected he wasn’t going to enjoy this part. “The only method we’ve ever succeeded in was destroying the connection our world has with the gods. Entirely isolating us from them. It was the final resort, but the only one we had available to us.”
Hardwin stared at her, his mouth falling open. “That’s horrific. Without the gods, we couldn’t--”
“We tried refusing. That’s when the Inferno God came and destroyed everything. Trust me. A world without the gods was far, far superior,” Joan said with another shudder. “Let’s not talk about that anymore, please. Of all the memories I don’t want surfacing any more than they already have, those are the most painful.”
“You mentioned another method, correct?” Hardwin asked.
“We destroy its heart,” Joan said. “We’ve never succeeded in it, though. The Demon Lord was always one step ahead of us. By the time we finally killed him it was too late. The cultists were too powerful and the god couldn’t be stopped.” She gave another shudder. “But things are different now. I know where the heart is and if we can gather all of the chosen, we can destroy it. We can beat the Demon Lord this time.” She glanced back towards him and gave a weak smile. “I just need you to trust me. Please.”
Hardwin stared at her thoughtfully, seeming to be measuring her. Finally, his gaze seemed to turn almost sad.“Very well. How do we get to this heart?” he asked.
Joan felt relieved, none the less. As insane as all of this sounded, he at least seemed to be believing her somewhat. Even if he didn’t, though, so long as he was willing to help her it didn’t matter. “We’re going to need all seven of the chosen. I can probably figure out where they are, though. Most are easy, some are a bit harder. But we need to move fast. We’re not the only one going after the heart right now. On top of that, the troll is a sign that the heart is waking up. We need to get to it before the Demon Lord.”
“Right. And this Demon Lord you keep mentioning, what is he?”
Joan cringed and felt another pang of regret at her lack of a studious life as the hero. As much as she loathed the Demon Lord, at the end of the day she knew almost nothing about him. “I don’t fully know. At first I thought he was just another person who had mixed their blood with demons, another worshiper of the Inferno God. Their leader, in fact. But then it came back. The important thing is that we get to the heart first. If we can do that and destroy it, then we can stop the Inferno God from ever coming back. The Demon Lord can’t destroy the world then.”
“Then what?” Hardwin asked.
“Without the god or cult, the Demon Lord can be contained and dealt with,” Joan said firmly.
“And this corruption?”
Joan felt that sharp feeling of guilt and failure once more. “I honestly don’t know. It always took me by surprise. After the connection with the gods was severed, everything was calm for a few years. Then suddenly one of the chosen changed. It started off small. But then one of you would die. No, not die. The Demon Lord would kill one of you, but it was made to look like an accident. I was so foolish, sometimes two or even three of you would die before I realized what was happening.” She rolled over and stared at him. “By the end, I was almost always alone. I couldn’t beat them. Their power was too much. They took our power, our weapons, our abilities. Everything that made us. Then they used them against those that remained.”
“How? Only a chosen can wield our weapons.”
“I don’t know. I really don’t. Maybe the gods were holding them back before they were cut off. Maybe they were something else entirely. Maybe corrupting one of the chosen gave them that ability to take the others. But this time we can find them early enough, prepare this time. The Demon Lord was powerful, but we could beat him. Once we find Korgron she might have some answers as well. But if we get to the heart first, it won’t matter. With all of us united and the gods still here, I know we can stop the destruction from happening a second time.” However, despite her enthusiasm she couldn’t help but notice that Hardwin was staring at her with a look of confusion now. “What?”
“Korgron? That’s an interesting name. Who is she?” Hardwin asked.
Joan opened her mouth, but then stopped herself. She supposed it would be quite a surprise for him, as it really was the first time for him to experience it. It seemed kind of silly to her to make such a big deal about it now though. Lifetimes of getting to know her, she supposed. “Ah. Right. Of course. So, brace yourself. Korgron is one of the demons. By birth, mind. Also the chosen of the crown.”
“WHAT?” Hardwin yelled and she quickly pulled back when she tood up, shoving the chair he was in aside and shattering it against the back wall of the room. “A DEMON is one of the chosen?! Impossible, there’s never been a--”
Joan gave a small shrug and quickly tried to cut him off. “While it is true that the chosen have, more often than not, been human, there are exceptions. And our group was quite the exception. We had a changeling, an elf, a dwarf and a demon. As far as I’d heard, Chase was the first changeling. There had also been a demon chosen centuries ago as well, though I didn’t look much into it then. I understand this must be surprising, it was a bit of a shock for me too at the time. But if you consider how few humans still live, is it really that surprising that the gods reached out to other species to bear their mantles?”
Hardwin gave a soft growl and began to pace, shaking his head. She waited patiently, watching him go back and forth as he tried to process it. Finally, after what felt like hours, he turned to her. “I see. Tell me, who else did our group have? Any other little surprises?”
“Well, Korgron the Vile was the crown. Then there’s Chase the Trickster. Nasty one, if you get on his bad side. But a good person, all around, he was the gauntlets and boots. Andreas the Gentle, he was the spear. Human, too. Bit hard to get a hold of, but nice. You’ll like him. He, along with you, was the only one who was never corrupted by the demon lord. Neia the Radiant, she was an elf and the bow. She’s also the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, but...” She trailed off, a frown forming on her lips when more bitter memories washed over her. It took a few moments for her to stabilize her thoughts again, pushing the nasty ones aside.
“But?” Hardwin finally asked, staring at her.
“She was one of the ones who were most often corrupted by the demon lord,” Joan said.
“I imagine Korgron was the one who was most often corrupted?” Hardwin asked, unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice.
Joan felt a small burst of anger at those words. While it was true that she had often been untrusting of Korgron, it had been unfairly earned. The demon had saved her life more times than she could count and the idea of anyone speaking ill of her, especially another chosen, made her want to lash out. “No, she was almost never corrupted. Though she was often the one who--” She cut herself before she could finish that thought. She wondered if she should dare tell him how one or two of them had always died in the fight against the Inferno God, but shoved that thought aside. It wouldn’t happen this time. “She was often killed by the demon lord. Then Thalgren the Golden, he was a dwarf and wields the warhammer. He was a bastard and you’ll love him and hate him, old friend.”
“I will?”
“Everyone does. Absolute wonderful bastard. Trust me, you’ll see.” Which only left one more. The least of the bunch, the one who just thinking about him left a foul taste in her mouth. “Then there’s Searle.”
“Just Searle?” Hardwin asked, staring at her again.
“Oh, right. Searle the Diligent. He’s the shield,” Joan said, sitting up and clutching the blanket tightly. Try as she might, she could feel all of her negative thoughts towards him rising up and starting to take hold.
“Joan? What’s wrong? What about Searle, is he something else?”
Joan finally gave in to her thoughts, letting them all spill out. “He’s a useless, pathetic, annoying weight that did nothing but drag us down on our quest!” she practically yelled it, unable to keep the anger out of her voice.
Hardwin’s eyes widened “Joan? Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh? He’s one of the chosen, isn’t he? You speak of him as if he’s some kind of monster. Is he a demon as well?”
“All but. When he was there to the end he would always be corrupted. When he was alive he’d always be the one getting in our way. He didn’t even have the good graces to be easy to find! No, we’d spend so much time searching for everyone and then there he’d be, right under our noses the whole time! A human on top of it! If he’d just have joined us from the beginning we could have saved so much time. We might have even won! If he’d just… if he’d just...” The words locked in her brain and she went still when fresh memories rose to the surface. Not just memories of her past lives, though. Memories of this life.
“Joan?” Hardwin asked, slowly leaning forward to shake her shoulder.
“I know where he is,” Joan finally said.
“What?”
“I know where he is right now,” she repeated.
“Didn’t you say you could find them all?”
“Yes, eventually. But I mean I know EXACTLY where he is right this moment!”
“What?”
“The academy! He was another student! He’d still be there! The shield. I know where the shield’s chosen is. I know EXACTLY where he is right now.”
“WHAT?” Hardwin yelled, shaking her shoulder a little harder. “Are you certain, you--”
“If I’m wrong it means I don’t know what I’m talking about, right?” she asked, reaching out to grip his hand. For the first time in days she felt excitement flooding her. If they could get him now, that would mean they had the shield years ahead of where she’d ever found him. “If I’m right about him, it means I know about all of them. It means you’ll have to trust me and, maybe, we can stop all of this from happening before it goes wrong,” Joan said, unable to keep the excitement out of her voice. Though after a moment a new worry cropped up. She glanced up at him. “Don’t tell him about me.”
“What?” Hardwin asked.
“About who I am. About what I am. Just stick with the daughter thing for now. Or any other story you want to come up with. Of all the people I don’t want knowing about the information I have, it’s him.”
“If he’s one of the chosen--”
“He is. I know he is. But he’s also the one who destroyed us a few hundred times. I’ve watched him plunge a knife into your stomach across more life times than I can count. So until I figure out how to stop that, please. Don’t tell him. If there is any chosen we can’t depend on, it’s him,” Joan said firmly.
“Very well. Then I suppose I’d best start preparing, daughter,” he said, turning towards the door. “I’ll leave first thing in the morning.”
Joan blinked a few times, turning towards him. “Wait, what? We’re not going immediately?”
Hardwin stopped at the door and gave a sigh. “I’m going tomorrow. If he’s at the academy, I’ll bring him here. You’re staying here.”
“I’m coming with you!” Joan said, shoving the covers off and leaping out of the bed. When she landed, however, her legs almost gave out from under her instantly. Hardwin was there in a moment, catching her before she could hit the ground.
“You need to rest and recover. Back into bed with you,” Hardwin said before sweeping her up and carrying her back to the bed. However, she grabbed the front of his tunic and didn’t let go. “Joan, let go.”
“Please, you can’t leave me here,” Joan said, staring up at him.
“Joan, I can’t take you. You need to--”
“It’s only a few days from here, isn’t it? I have to come with you. Please, don’t leave me behind.” She could see his resistance faltering, the way he averted his gaze. He never had been good at denying her, even as the hero. “I promise I won’t get into any fights. I promise I’ll behave. But don’t make me wait here alone again. Please.”
Hardwin stared at her for a long, long moment before slowly nodding. “Very well. Tomorrow morning then.”
“Why not tonight? We should--”
“Will you behave or not?” Hardwin asked, glaring at her.
Joan stared at him before, very slowly, nodding. “Tomorrow then.”
“Good,” he said before she let his tunic go. “For now, rest. I swear, child, a part of me wonders if there is more to that lie of mine. I always imagined if I had one, a daughter would be the death of me.” He slammed the door closed behind himself a moment later.
Joan stared at the doorway for a few long moments before sighing and laying back once more. “I already have been, old friend. This time I pray I won’t.”
