How to Live as a Knight After the Ending

Chapter 160: Memories Flowing Like Sand (1)

“What? Why?”

Lorraine couldn’t help but ask why.

Wouldn’t he be curious about her past if things had gotten this far?

It was more than a little disconcerting for Lorraine to realize that she had offered to tell him, but he didn’t want to hear it.

“Do you think that if a person who is about to die says something like that as his last words, you will listen to him? There is nothing more unpleasant than a will that is passed on without permission.”

Lorraine’s nausea set in as he spoke as if she were about to die.

“Can’t you even grant a last request from someone like that?!”

“You didn’t tell me when I asked, and now you want a favor? I’m not the kind of person who grants wishes, so tell someone else.”

“Oh, come on, that’s so mean! What good would it do me?”

“My mood.”

“Listen to me! I’ll tell you everything you want to know!”

“I don’t want to know anymore. I guess I can just go.”

Lorraine bit her lip in anger.

It would have been a good idea to ignore Osian and pass by without showing off her pride. However, doing so would have been quite aggravating.

Still, she’s a senior, and she can’t ask for a favor on her way out? That’s how small-minded he is!

“I’m going.”

“No! You’re not leaving until you listen to me!”

“Let go of me. I’m leaving.”

“No!”

Lorraine grabbed Osian’s leg as he tried to leave.

Their roles reversed, the two argued in the rain for about ten minutes.

*

Lorraine squatted on the steps of the canopied store entrance.

Her face was flushed as she remembered her behavior in hindsight as the emotions subsided.

It was only then that Osian, standing still with his arms crossed beside her, spoke up.

“How’s it going? Have you calmed down a bit?”

Lorraine didn’t answer, only nodded her head slightly. It was an embarrassment she would die to think about.

But strangely enough, she felt more clear-headed than she had in a long time, after having that exchange with Osian. She even felt a sense of relief in her chest.

Did he do that on purpose?

Lorraine’s head snapped up and she looked at Osian.

“You look better than before.”

As Osian stared at her face, Lorraine realized that she had played right into his hands.

But she didn’t feel bad. In fact, she felt a little grateful.

When Lorraine was finished, she spoke slowly.

“As you may have guessed, I was a soldier before I became a fixer.”

Osian didn’t bother to interrupt her calmly told story.

Whereas before it had been the rambling ramblings of a dying person, now it was the confession of someone who wanted to speak purely of her own volition.

“You know, secret service, black ops or something.”

“From the name, it sounds like an organization that does things in secret without the world knowing.”

“Yeah, the military, it’s a big organization, and of course there are so many different branches within it. The thing is, they need permission from the top to move.”

The ultimate commander of the military is not a starry-eyed general.

They’re higher up, the mayor of Tirna and other council members.

The soldiers were, after all, the tools of the people’s elected leaders, the prefects, mayors, and councilors.

“If the military has the power to do as it pleases, its blade could be aimed at the heads of those above it.”

The army that was supposed to protect Tirna pointed its guns at Tirna. It was necessary to prevent a coup from happening in that way.

In fact, something similar had happened in the past, just as the system of civilian control didn’t come into being overnight.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean that the military does nothing and just follows orders from above, just look at the recent assassination attempt of Princess Orlea. There are plenty of people in the military who act on their own.”

“So the unit you were in was built for that.”

“Yes. They bring in orphans with no connections from Tirna, force them to train, and turn them into nameless soldiers.”

Nameless soldiers, a unit that literally exists but doesn’t, with no number and no rank.

Its purpose was to be a dumping ground for those who could be discarded in the unlikely event of mission failure.

“I’ve been trained to death since I was a little girl who didn’t know anything, but I’m okay, because, if I do say so myself, I’m very talented.”

Lorraine was very talented at marksmanship.

Not just shooting, but in the handling of modern firearms, she was unrivaled.

Even the instructor who taught her had repeatedly lamented the fact that she wasn’t an official soldier.

It was a natural progression for Lorraine to become the commander of a unit that didn’t even have a name.

“There was no unit name. They just called us by our numbers for convenience. Like, 121st Ranger Unit.”

Fifteen men. It wasn’t even a platoon, just a squad.

There were more than five such squads.

“That’s where I met my friends.”

Lorraine recalled their faces one by one as if she could remember them from the distant past.

“They all came from the same orphanage as me. Kids with nowhere to go, just desperately trying to keep up with their training. We almost died several times, but that’s why we ended up helping each other.”

Lorraine’s unit, the 121st Rangers, operated inside Tirna and around the world.

They continued to successfully solve secret missions that were not supposed to be seen by the public but there was no reward and no honor.

Even when a fellow soldier died at the hands of the enemy, there was no small ceremony.

Not even a tombstone for the meritorious, with their names inscribed on it; they were simply forced to bury their dead comrades in their chests.

“I was like, what on earth is this?”

Lorraine said it casually, but the truth was far more horrific than she let on.

It started with training.

The brutal training methods that pushed young children, regardless of gender, into the abyss of death were shocking even from a modern perspective where children’s rights do not exist.

It was called training, but disobedience to orders was met with summary execution on the spot.

Sometimes you had to kill your fellow cadets. If you didn’t kill them, they would kill you.

Blood and mud, madness and death.

Lorraine, who survived it all, had to endure unimaginable pain and hardship.

Perhaps that’s why she became so attached to her unit.

The army had turned them from children who knew nothing into cold weapons to fulfill a mission.

Lorraine wanted to take care of them as colleagues so they wouldn’t lose their humanity.

“We went on a lot of covert missions, crossed a lot of lines.”

It was hard and painful, but they had each other.

They were more than coworkers now, they were family.

She still remembered that day.

When they were sent out into the desert on a covert mission, they sat around a campfire in the middle of the cold desert talking.

The desert nights were bone-chillingly cold.

But with only the countless clusters of stars in the sky, a warm campfire, and their trusty companions to keep them company, they were able to endure.

-Have you heard the story? When we’re done with this tiresome task, we’ll have a chance at freedom.

Guess who said it first. David? No, it was Miller.

His voice was unusually chilly and cold, but it was filled with excitement.

-What? What does that mean?

-We’ve been doing this for a long time, and they’ve decided to recognize us as an official unit.

-What kind of freedom is that?

-To have a proper name, to be a soldier with honor and pride, not a throwaway word that no one remembers when you die.

David grumbled at Miller’s words, wondering if they made sense, but there was a hint of anticipation in his eyes, as if he was secretly looking forward to it himself.

-You know, Captain. What do you think?

Rosa, a woman like Lorraine, asked. Since there were only two other women, they were as close as sisters.

-Well, it wouldn’t be so bad if that’s the case.

Lorraine replied nonchalantly. She knew how unlikely it was, but she didn’t want to blow the candle out of the water.

-If I become a proper soldier, I’ll get a better paycheck, and then I’ll marry a pretty wife.

Boris, who usually likes to talk about his dreams, told Nada about his dreams.

-Boris. You can’t tell me that with your face.

-David. You don’t realize how attractive I am. I’m better than you.

-Boris. Not even close. David is much better.

-Rosa! Whose side are you on?!

Laughter erupted around the campfire.

Lorraine, who would normally have warned them to be quiet, let it slide this time.

Boris said.

-Yes. Let’s ask the question. What does everyone else want to do? I’m sure you have things you want to do once you’re officially recognized. Dreams you want to fulfill.

A dream.

It’s a word that would normally be scoffed at. For them, dreams are an unattainable fantasy.

No dreams, no honor.

That was the position of the nameless troops.

Perhaps for all eternity, the word would never come to them but today was an unusually good day.

Part of it was the subtle reminder that this was their last mission, and part of it was the unusually beautiful starry sky.

Yeah.

It’s only one day, but it wouldn’t hurt to dream.

-I want to open a bakery!

Rosa said coldly. It was fitting for the woman who usually cooked for her troops, even if she thought the battle rations were tasteless.

Perhaps emboldened by Rosa’s words, David said in a shy voice.

-I want to be a teacher.

Rosa smiled and replied.

-You’d make a good teacher, David.

-What, you’re not going to be a soldier anymore?

Boris asked, and David scratched his head.

-I’m tired of shooting, and I don’t want to live like this forever.

-Hmm. If I become a regular soldier, I’ll work my way up the ranks and become someone very high up.

-What, after all that insulting to the higher-ups, you wanted to be one of them?

-You idiot, of course not. I’m going to be very high up, and I’m going to have a bunch of guys like us working for me.

Just as I’m about to say, “That’s so you,” Boris adds, as if embarrassed.

-So they don’t become like us.

-Ohhhh.

Miller responds to Boris’s words by clapping, lest his courage be in vain.

-That’s good. I want to be an airplane pilot. I’ve always thought it was so cool to fly in those things, Air Force guys.

-Are you trying to be Top Gun?

-That would be even better. Fade, what are you going to do?

Fade. At the name, Lorraine stopped tinkering with her gun and looked back at him.

He was the most timid of the group, and at the same time, the one who cared most about his comrades.

He was as sensitive as a girl, and often gave his companions handmade trinkets as gifts.

Fade replied with an awkward smile that didn’t match his gruff demeanor.

-I want to open a little trinket shop, where I can make all sorts of things and trinkets and live in peace.

-Trinkets. It suits you. Can I come over later?

-You’re welcome. If you come, I’ll make you a nice accessory and give it to you.

-If you like…….

All eyes turned to Lorraine.

Everyone else had spoken, and now it was the last remaining leader’s turn.

Lorraine met those expectant gazes, smiled, and spoke in a firm tone.

-Enough about me. The important thing right now is to complete tomorrow’s mission. I’m afraid I’ll get into trouble for saying it again.

-Eh! Captain, what the hell do you mean, you’re going to back out now because you’re embarrassed?

-You’re loud, Boris. Keep your voice down. Don’t you realize we could be spotted by enemy scouts?

Lorraine spoke sternly, but her eyes were smiling.

-But if I may say so, I think everyone here will make it home safely.

-Captain…….

-I’m sorry, I wouldn’t call it a dream.

But no one laughed at Lorraine’s words.

They all knew how much they cared for each other.

The unspoken camaraderie between them was stronger than anything else in the world.

Soon the stars were gone, and the first light of dawn broke over the sandy ridge.

-Come on. Rise.

At Lorraine’s command, the men of the 121st Rangers extinguished their campfires with sand and sheathed their weapons.

-It’s time for the mission. Anyone who lags behind will have their asses kicked. If you don’t want to be beaten, follow me to the end.

-Yes! Of course!

Spurred on, they marched on toward the dawn to claim their future and to walk proudly in the sun one day.

In the end, the mission was a failure, with the death of one of their own.

*

“What are you talking about?”

An angry old man’s voice rang low in the large room.

“My son Armand is dead?”

“With all due respect, yes.”

Confirming the report his secretary had posted, the old man, Vinur Jaycee, had to cool his simmering anger.

But even the most level-headed of men could not be stoic in the face of the death of a kinsman.

Especially when it’s an only child, someone he trusted and cared for.

Vinur never asked who the killer was. He couldn’t help but think of the men who had sent the most recent, similarly threatening letter.

They demanded money for their cause, and if he didn’t, they would kill his family.

He’d gotten these prank letters before, so he shrugged them off. Of course, he increased the number of his bodyguards, just in case.

But then Armand was dead and his bodyguards were wiped out.

Vinur’s eyes sparked.

“Gather everyone, those who are resting, those who are off duty, those who have been away for a while.”

“It’s raining, sir.”

“This is war. I’ll show them what happens when they cross me.”

Ghost troops?

True to their name, Vinur intended to turn them into real ghosts.