How to Survive As a Villain

Chapter 39: An special event for catching adultery.

It rained down all night, and the next morning, the green leaves were dripping, the air was cold, and the sun was shining brightly through the hazy morning mist.

Xiao Yuan finished his breakfast in a spirited manner and said to Hong Xiu: “Today you can call me Cupid-Xiao.”

Hong Xiu’s face looked dull: “The ball must nervously laugh?*”

(T/N: *The confusion here lies in that Xiao Yuan said: 丘比特萧 qiū bǐ tè Xiāo; lit translated as Cupid Xiao (Xiao as Xiao Yuan’s surname). But Hong Xiu heard 球必忑笑 qiú bì tè xiào; lit translated qiú = ball, bì = must, tè = nervous, xiào = laugh)

Even if you didn’t understand the first three words, but how can you hear Xiao as a falling tone* when I said it with a high level tone**???

(T/N: *第四声 dì sì shēng; fourth tone in Mandarin. **第一声 dì yī shēng; first tone in Mandarin)

“Anyway, Hong Xiu, is the Imperial Guard uniform that I asked you about yesterday ready?” Xiao Yuan asked.

Hong Xiu nodded, she was holding a set of clothing in her hands. Xiao Yuan looked at it and found that Hong Xiu even had black boots, belts and swords.

“What does his Majesty wants to do?” Hong Xiu asked doubtfully.

Xiao Yuan smirked with pride: “The thirty six strategies* were created out of nothing**, you must watch the fire from the other side***, and lastly! The soul! Will return****! To the corpse!”

(T/N: *三十六计 sān shí liù jì; The Thirty-Six Stratagems, a Chinese essay used to illustrate a series of stratagems used in politics, war, and in civil interaction; all the possible schemes and stratagems.

**无中生有 wú zhōng shēng yǒu (idiom); fabricate rumors / a sheer fabrication out of nothing / churn out cock-and-bull stories / come out of thin air.

***隔岸观火 gé àn guān huǒ (idiom); to delay entering the fray until all others have been exhausted by fighting amongst themselves / look on at somebody else trouble with indifference / adopt a “wait-and-see” attitude.

**** 还魂 huán hún; revive after death / return from the grave)

Xiao Yuan’s selfish calculations are very smart. First, he’ll make Yan Heqing pretend to be a bodyguard, then, he’ll take him to see Princess Yongning for a moment, and lastly, he can just watch the plot develop on its own!

After all, it isn’t impossible for the male lead and the female lead to meet each other, stare at the other’s eyes and like each other. They’re like the positive and negative poles of a magnet, they’re similar and compatible with each other!

As a personal maid, the magic of Hong Xiu is that even if she doesn’t understand Xiao Yuan’s words, she can still guess his intentions: “Your Majesty, are you going to Jing Yang Palace again? This time, you must bring an Imperial Guard with you.”

Ever since Xiao Yuan didn’t take an Imperial Guard with him last time and disappeared for a whole day, coming back with an injury, now every time he goes out, Hong xiu persuades him to take an Imperial Guard with him.

Xiao Yuan thought for a moment and said: “Maybe this time I’ll bring some Imperial Guards and maidservants.”

After all, if I want to bring him to Yongning’s Palace Hall afterwards, I have to put on airs.

Seeing that Xiao Yuan listened to her advice, Hong Xiu was relieved. She personally selected a few smart maids, and asked Yang Liuan to choose several Imperial Guards to follow Xiao Yuan.

When they reached the Jing Yang Palace, the great group of people looked inspiring. Xiao Yuan subconsciously was going to knock Yan Heqing’s door, but Hong Xiu quickly stopped him: “Your Majesty, why do you need to knock on this male concubine’s door?”

Xiao Yuan didn’t had the time to speak yet, when Hong Xiu pushed the door open and entered without hesitation.

Wait, this is too abrupt! What if Yan Heqing hadn’t gotten up yet! Or in case he has the habit of sleeping naked! Or what about if he’s changing clothes! Hong xiu, hold back a little! Don’t make him lose face!

Seeing that Hong Xiu had entered the wing room, Xiao Yuan must catch up quickly. Unexpectedly, at the moment he stepped in, Hong Xiu suddenly took a step back, almost hitting him.

Huh?

Is he really changing clothes?

Xiao Yuan looked inside, his pupils shrank and he turned around almost running into Yang Liuan who followed him in.

Yang Liuan was startled and looked right inside the wing room: “Your Majesty, what happened?”

But after looking inside, Yang Liuan’s throat seemed to be suddenly strangled by something, his face went pale as if he was falling into an ice cave.

Yang Liuan was once stabbed in the abdomen by an assassin with a sharp blade, he still remembers the pain he felt that time, the cold and sharp tip submerged into the flesh letting out the blood, the pain accumulated everywhere, and then, it exploded violently through his four limbs.

But the pain he felt then it was ten thousand times less painful that what he was feeling now.

“All of you, go out and wait outside.” Xiao Yuan stopped Yang Liuan, who was about to follow him in, he was so frightened that he raised his eyes in shock.

Yang Liuan’s eyes were red and his lips were white. He was trembling and his voice was hoarse and dry, he wasn’t able to utter a whole sentence: “Your Majesty, this, this, must be…a misunderstanding.”

Why is your reaction so exaggerated?! Were you shocked by the erotic view inside the wing room?

“Liuan, wait outside and don’t let anyone come in.” Xiao Yuan patted him, but Yang Liuan grabbed his arm. He breathed hurriedly and said: “Your Majesty, I, I……”

You, you, what do you want to say?

After a long time, Yang Liuan lowered his head as if he had been crushed by something and murmured: “I’ll comply with his Majesty’s order.”

Xiao Yuan closed the door of the wing room and pinched himself fiercely, making sure that this wasn’t a dream, then, he turned around.

The wing room wasn’t so big, with a table and chairs, bookshelves and wooden cabinets, and a tulle bed that could be seen clearly at one glance.

The messy bedding on the bed covered two naked bodies that could be seen faintly, their long black silk-like hair was intertwined, lying in each other arms, elegantly drunk, one of them was Yan Heqing.

Xiao Yuan blinked, blinked again, and then blurted out: “Whatthefffffuck*??”

(T/N: *it was like this in the RAWs)

What the fuck?

Yan-ge*! Why are you lying next to him! He’s! A! Man!!! Even if you hadn’t meet the goddess yet, you can’t bend so suddenly!

(T/N: *哥 gē; brother)

No, no, no, that’s not the point.

Xiao Yuan was struggling, because the sight of Yan Heqing becoming gay was more terrifying than seeing him sleep with someone else before meeting the goddess. After a while, Hong Xiu finally came out of the shock, and a terrible rage possessed her, she step forward, and after rounding her arms, she stepped forward to slap the two men sleeping on the bed.