I Am A Carnivorous Plant

This woman couldn’t possibly be more than fourteen, so maybe calling her a girl would be more appropriate? Definitely on the young side, but those goblins have some good taste. I wonder if all humans in this world look this attractive? Ah, and of course the young thing looks positively terrified, I mean she’s trapped in a cage half naked, so you can only imagine how cruel life must have been to her. I should let her out of this cage, and-

 

Oh.

Oh she’s terrified because of me.

If I move even just a little bit, she flinches.

I’m… I must be terrifying, huh?

 

Ah, but I’m so cute! Why?????

 

Yeah no, it makes perfect sense. I have all my tendrils just wiggling free and individually, and I’m close enough that she can see how uncanny-valley the rest of me looks. Really, maybe it’s because I’m still immature, but I don’t understand how this body of mine thinks it’s going to fool anyone! Maybe when I’m older it’ll do better or something. Perhaps I’m just in my awkward ugly duckling phase right now. I’m still very cute looking though, I promise!

 

Anyways, this girl in front of me. My heart says let her go, but my heart also says she’d be good eatin’. If I let her free, would she even be able to make it back home? We can’t be too far away from civilization, but we also can’t be terribly close. What if she dies on the way and wastes all of my good will? Or what if she makes it there and then tells all the adventurers or hunters or whatever about me, and they decide I’m dangerous like I totally and completely am? ...Maybe it really would be more worth it to eat her. I mean look at her, she’s gorgeous, and they say you are what you eat, right? If I really wanted to grow up looking a bit less spooky, then…

 

Ah, uh uh, I shouldn’t be like this. This young lady has done nothing wrong here! Just because she’s completely and totally edible and would probably be delicious (if I had any sense of taste), that doesn’t mean I should just treat her like free food! Karma is important! If I did something bad here and someone somehow found out, then they might send hordes of people to kill me! I’m nowhere near dangerous enough to fight off wizards and heroes and assassins! Maybe I can consider playing the bad guy later on when I’m much more scary. In fact, that sounds like a good way to get food delivered right to my door!

 

Maybe one day.

For now, let’s be a good little plant and let the girl go.

 

The forest is always watching.

 

It’s sad; Maybe in a different world this girl could have been my friend. It’s too bad I’m hungry and totally a plant monster, though; She looks too tasty, and I’m pretty sure I’m too hungry for friendship. Besides, after everything she’s been through, I’m sure she wants to get back to human society, and there’s no way I’m setting down roots anywhere just yet, or at least not for very long. And then there’s also the fact that I think I’m made for eating people, which might just make things hard. Who knows, maybe humans aren’t even for me, interaction-wise or food-wise! Oh well. No need to rush things and find out just yet. I’m doing just fine how I am, thank you!

 

Well, at least this verified for me that the humans here look regular, if not more attractive, although more research will have to be done for sure.

Aaaaanyways~

 

There’s only a slightly heavy stone holding this door closed, since I don’t think the goblins are smart enough to figure out how locks work. Or, maybe they just don’t have the key. I certainly wouldn’t want to rummage through this dirty place looking for one. Luckily, my tendrils are strong enough that this rock means nothing to me, but I’m sure this poor girl would have never been able to escape all on her own. If she could, she probably would have done it already while I was busy washing off all of my food.

 

She looked absolutely frightened for her life when I opened the door. I won’t lie to you, I’m not so clean minded a person that I didn’t think that I’d seen this kind of scene somewhere else before. You know the one: Pretty half naked big breasted woman, malicious tentacle monster who’s a bit too friendly. Hijinks ensue. The internet in my last life was full of it. It was quite hard to miss! It was a popular trope! I promise that’s the only reason! I totally wouldn’t look at anything like that, honest! Besides, if I was that kind of person, do you really think I needed to open the door to have my wicked way with her?

 

If I had real eyebrows, oh the wiggles I’d do.

All joking aside though~!

 

Ha, so yeah the girl didn’t move. I can’t blame her, I’m still right here near the doorway. Maybe if I had the ability to talk I could have reassured her that I wasn’t going to do anything, but… Nah, I wouldn’t trust a random plant monster saying that to me if I were her either, no matter how cute it was. Still, it would at least be nice to have been able to say something at all, though! Hmmm, how do I convince her to leave? I’m a bit worried that if I just walk away she still won’t be brave enough to escape. Hmmm… Do I… Perhaps I have to get a little bit rough with it?

 

I snaked my tentacles in and (gently) grabbed on to her. Sure, she screamed and flailed, but I made sure to hold her in a way where she wouldn’t be able to hurt herself. No matter how much she struggled, she was niiiice and safe~! I wonder if this is how spiders feel? I almost want to pat her to show how well I’ve wrapped her up, like one might do to show how sturdy something is. Best not to terrorize her too much though haha, only some light added trauma!

 

Let’s just walk on outside of the cave, head over to the stream and-

There ya go. Nice and free.

It’s like I’m releasing some small insect or mouse I caught in my home.

Run away young pretty girl!

Run home and reunite with your loved ones!

Tell them an amazingly nice plant saved you!

They’ll never believe you haha!

 

I watched the young lady leave until I couldn’t see her anymore. Seems like she was running off into the sunset, so that should be west, I hope? So the humans live in the west, huh… That’s nice to know. I’ve actually been moving, um, I guess sort of north-east this whole time? I won’t lie, it’s been kind of a zigzag of random directions, but I think it’s mostly north-east. I suppose I’ll just keep heading north and see where it gets me. At the very least there should be more bears to the north, right? …Right? Is that how it works? Since it gets colder the more north you go, right? Unless I started out way in the south… Ah, it really sucks not knowing where I am! Screw it, I’m sticking to north! North it’s gonna be! Eventually I’ll run into the cold!

 

…Oh wait, but I’m a plant.

Am… Am I going to be alright up there?

Will it be too chilly for me?

Will I… wilt?

 

Alright, I’ll go north until it gets a little bit too nippy, and then go somewhere else!

Nothing’s gonna stop me from eating a bunch of bears!

 

~~~

 

By the end of the following night, I’d managed to eat up the rest of the goblins, so it was time to say goodbye and continue on with my journey. The sun is a really convenient compass, so I’ll try to make sure I stick to going north instead of just ambling around like I have been. Let’s go explore and find some big tasty things to eat! Yeah!

 

March march~

Eat eat~

Get sun~

Get water~

Adventure!

 

It’s really nice going new places and eating new things. The fox-like animals in this world are so pretty looking that I almost didn’t want to eat them! Too bad for them I’m a super dangerous and hungry plant, though. I’ve seen plenty of different snakes, birds, panthers, canines… It’s just kinda really sad that a forest is a forest is a forest. Sometimes the plants change, and sometimes the trees are a different variety, but all in all… Hrm. Yes, this planet doesn’t seem to be all that advanced in its development. Either that or they just really respect nature. Who knows? I sure don’t.

 

Anyways I was wandering around and seeing the sights for a while, and if I’m being honest, the days just kind of sort of blended together. I’m not really sure how long it’s been. I think it’s been about two weeks? But I haven’t really been focusing on getting sunlight, or good water, and since I was so focused on travel, I didn’t really hunt overly much and just snatched whatever was on the way. Not once during these past two weeks(?) have I actually eaten enough to get full. I’m actually amazed that I didn’t starve or anything.

 

…Was I only going through my nutrients so fast because I was focusing on growing?

 

Oh. Oh my. Maybe that could be the case. I always thought wishing myself to grow wasn’t speeding up anything, but maybe it actually was. I know I’m quite the advanced plant, but I do suppose it’s silly to need to go through as much nutrition as I have been unless this body is terribly energy inefficient. I do believe that I should try and move on to my next stage of growth, but… Maybe I should stay this size for a bit longer so I can test this theory out.

 

Ah, but that’s not what’s important right now.

Actually, something happened, and that’s why I’ve suddenly started caring about the passage of time again.

You see, I’ve actually stumbled upon the scene of a crime, and for the past afternoon I’ve been following along after it.

 

I found some guys catching and kidnapping a child!

 

It’s funny, I’m still in the woods, but I guess crimes happen even way out here. Why was the child alone in the middle of the woods? Maybe the kidnappers lured him all the way out here, or maybe it’s that scenario you see all the time in storybooks. You know, the ‘My mother is ill, I must go out alone to find the herbs for her!’ one. The boy couldn’t possibly be older than seven, unless the people in this world age differently or something. Maybe I’m not so far away from a nearby town as I think I am? But who would be stupid enough to place their town right up against the dark scary woods? Ah, I don’t know how they do it here, I shouldn’t judge. Hell, maybe the boy just got lost and has a really bad sense of direction. After all this is over I should follow after him and see how the town looks!

 

Anyways I followed the kidnappers to a cabin further into the forest. There were only about maybe four of them? Seems like a bit too many people for kidnapping just one small boy, but I don’t know. Maybe the boy is super important or something. Or maybe they’re just playing it safe? Can’t fault them for that. Doesn’t seem like there’s anyone else inside of the cabin waiting for them, so I think they really did send their full force out to get this one child. I don’t know, I’m not a criminal, I don’t understand how criminals think. All I know is these people are doing something bad, and karma or the forest or whatever isn’t going to fault me if I decide that this is a prime opportunity to get a taste of some humans guilt free!

 

Congratulations child!

You’re going to be rescued, and I’m going to get a nice big meal for the first time in a while!