I am Kaka

Text Chapter 562: Some people hate Messi, some hate Ronaldo, but everyone likes Kaka

“Aspen”: “The fans at the White Hart Lane Stadium are fortunate to witness the birth of a miracle.

In the quarter of the Champions League where Real Madrid challenged Tottenham away, Kaka, who appeared on the bench as a substitute, miraculously scored 5 goals in 9 minutes, setting a number of Champions League records.

He played at 49 minutes and 21 seconds, scored the first goal in 49 minutes and 30 seconds, scored the second goal in 50 minutes and 53 seconds, scored a free kick in 53 minutes and 14 seconds, and staged the Champions League’s fastest hat-trick record.

55 minutes and 50 seconds, the heel broke the goal, the fastest four in the Champions League.

58 minutes and 12 seconds, scored the fifth goal, the fastest five in the Champions League.

Mourinho and Zidane have incredible looks on the sidelines, and such performances as if they are possessed by gods have never seen them even in the disparity between the weak and the strong, let alone the two sides of the game. Real Madrid, who just got rid of the awkward status of the Champions League, and Tottenham, who just squeezed Liverpool into the Champions League. “

“Team Daily”: Let’s look at the miracles on the court.

Brazilian goalkeeper Rogerio Cheni has scored 132 goals in his career as a goalkeeper, including 62 direct free kicks. In addition, Seni once set a natural year in 2005 and scored 21 goals. Performance;

As a famous court gentleman, Lineker played 460 club games and 81 national team games throughout his career, but in these 541 games he has never had a card-whether it is yellow or red. ；

Viduya, Colombian nationality, started his career in 1995 and ended in 2015. He is a midfielder. He has participated in 601 games in his career. He will be sent off once in 13 games on average. The number of red cards is as many as 46. , So far no one has surpassed, so that everyone thinks that he is not a football player, but a thug of drug dealers;

If you think that Bidoua is the worst villain in football history, Kevin Musket will definitely have different opinions. In the nearly 20 years of his professional career playing for England and Australia, the Australian international has won a total of 123 Yellow cards and 12 red cards. As the saying goes: “I’m here to play football, and I’m here to kick people. But mainly to kick people.” It’s him who said…

Fontaine’s record of scoring 13 goals in a single World Cup is considered unsurpassed, but Kaka directly raised this record to an incredible 17 goals in the last World Cup. It seems that he has to rely on himself to break it;

Before the emergence of Kaka, the holders of many goals in world football were mostly Gedmüller. Among them was the annual goal record: in 1972, Müller created the miracle of scoring 85 goals in the year. . This record has been maintained for 39 years. Kaka was the most promising one to break last year, but in 2010 he scored 78 goals in the cross-league + Champions League + national team, surpassing Bei Lee’s 73 goals are also behind Mueller’s 85 goals and Jimmy Jones’s 80 goals;

There is also a very outrageous record belonging to Beckham: October 6, 2001, Old Trafford Dream Theater, England 2-2 Greece in the World Cup qualifiers… Well, I am not talking about his savior. Free kick, I mean he ran 161k in 90 minutes of that game. If you don’t know what this number represents, then I can only tell you that as long as one player can play Running to 12k or 14k in a game is already considered non-human performance…

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The above records are probably the limit that human beings can achieve in the sport of football, but compared with the miracles that Kaka just created, all these seem to be pediatrics: Champions League quarter-finals, European football Even the world’s football has the highest gold content and one of the most competitive games, but Kaka scored five goals in 9 minutes, to be precise, 8 minutes and 51 seconds (from playing to scoring the last goal).

Do you think I’m joking?

Yes, Kaka made a joke with all of us.

I can only say that God suddenly became interested on this day and controlled Kaka to play a nine-minute football game with his own customized handle. “

“French Football”: In terms of the plot, Tracy McGrady chased 13 points in 35 seconds when the Rockets were behind. In the end, he surpassed him and created a miracle of the order of Kaka, but in terms of difficulty, it was a top-notch game. The difficulty of 9 minutes and 5 goals in a football match is much more terrifying than McGrady’s 35 seconds and 13 minutes…

What is the concept of 5 goals in 9 minutes?

To be precise, Kaka scored 5 goals in 8 minutes and 51 seconds, which is 531 seconds. On average, he scored 1 goal in less than 107 seconds.

In a master match between Real Madrid and Tottenham, almost 23 passes can be completed in 107 seconds, that is, both sides attacked once, and Kaka seized all the offensive opportunities in these 9 minutes, and all his shots were hit. , Hit rate of 100, goal conversion rate of 100, this is the data that can not necessarily be played in the game.

We can no longer describe the magic of these 9 minutes in words. Kaka stunned his head coach, stunned his teammates and opponents, stunned the audience, and stunned the whole world.

“Guardian Sports”: Let’s see what other people say.

Former teammate Torres: “Hahahahahaha, I’m sorry, I didn’t watch that game because I knew Real Madrid would definitely win and Kaka would definitely score a goal, but I’ve never seen such a performance in my life. I have never seen it in my previous life.”

McNewell, the previous Champions League fastest hat-trick record (9 minutes) holder, also congratulated Kaka: “Congratulations Kaka, you are number one in the world and number one in history. Only you are worthy of this honor. “

Kobe Bryant: “Kaka: Hey, brother, 5 goals in 9 minutes, do you want to come to the NBA? Come on, the Lakers welcome you.”

Yao Ming: “Kaka, Kobe: Kaka wants to play basketball, of course he comes to the Rockets. Please wait in line for the Lakers, ok?”

McGrady: “Which is the deadly McGrady moment or the Kaka moment? This is an unanswered question. I only know that Kaka, like me, has completed a miracle that cannot be replicated. We are as great as we are.”

Ancelotti: “Can you stop asking me about Kaka? At least he was not my player for the past three years… Scored five goals in nine minutes? Which match did you play against the Chinese team? A friendly match? The Champions League? Are you kidding me? Today is April Fools’ Day?”

Messi: “This is Kaka, this is indeed something he can do.”

Cristiano Ronaldo: “Kaka must thank me, because I didn’t play, and as soon as I was on the court, he could not help but pass the ball to me, then this record might be mine, hahaha, yes, today He must treat him late.”

Guardiola: “It’s really unhappy to hear this kind of news before the game with Real Madrid, but I can only be thankful that Kaka didn’t complete this incredible performance in the game with Barcelona…”

Yes, the Spanish National Derby is here again.

Few games can surpass the Barcelona-Real Madrid game in inciting the emotions of the fans.

On April 16, the 32nd round of La Liga, Real Madrid vs Barcelona;

On April 20, the Copa del Rey final was Real Madrid vs Barcelona.

Two contests in four days, if they can reach the Champions League final at the same time, it will be three games in 43 days.

This density makes everyone’s expectations reach an unbearable level. To a certain extent, this is like the NBA playoffs, the two teams will continue a series of fierce battles.

The first to be pushed to the cusp of the storm was Kaka, who had just become the 95th Supreme, but Mourinho completed the protection of Kaka in his own way.

At the press conference before the game, Mu Bird didn’t say a word, and assistant coach Kalanka spoke on his behalf. Needless to say, there was a lot of news.

Mourinho encounters Barcelona, ​​there are always endless grievances.

Talents with character and strength but who refuse to obey discipline are expelled from the teacher’s door and come back to avenge revenge. This is a classic piece in martial arts novels. Even the “Kung Fu Panda” filmed by Kaka’s Marvel Pictures is full of such plots. In the football world, the relationship between Mourinho and Barcelona is basically in line with this approach.

In this context, even Kaka, Cristiano Ronaldo and Messi seem to have become supporting roles, because the relationship between Kaka + Cristiano Ronaldo and Messi + Neymar is no longer equal. The fateful duel is somewhat of a “forced four arrogance” meaning, even the thickest-skinned “The Sun” can’t make it out.

On the day of the match, the Bernabéu Stadium was without exception, and the players of both sides were in the dressing room for their final preparations.

The dressing room of Real Madrid is like a complex ecosystem, in which creatures of different habits and beliefs coexist.

Ronaldo and Kaka are two typical examples, both externally and internally.

Everywhere the Portuguese goes, there is always a hustle and bustle behind them: the team doctor is talking in a low voice, the physical therapist is in a hurry, the teammates are joking and laughing, and the coach Mourinho pays close attention to Ronaldo’s every move.

Because his heart is full of desire, Ronaldo’s actions always seem very anxious, and his teammates even gave him the nickname “Anxious Brother”. The president’s preparation style can be imagined.

But Kaka always sits quietly in his seat before the game, watching his teammates playing with a smile, if not for the head coach’s request, he rarely even speaks, but even if he doesn’t say a word, no one dares. Ignore his existence.

The same is true for this game.

After Mourinho emphasized the tactics and poured the chicken soup, he did not let Cassie speak last, but gave Kaka the task of boosting morale.

Everyone has become accustomed to it.

“I have nothing to say,” Kaka smiled. “The opposite is Barcelona, ​​and we are Real Madrid. If such a game requires me to use an excited tone to mobilize emotions and fighting spirit, then everyone is not worthy to wear this white. The jersey appeared on the Bernabéu stadium…”

“So… let Barcelona go home crying!”

“The only thing that Guardiola should be grateful for is that it is only the 32nd round of the league, and they are playing away. There are two games left before we won the championship. This is not the Nou Camp, so they don’t have to line up to welcome the champion!”

“Similarly, if this league title is won on the basis of losing to Barcelona at home, then we shouldn’t be on the podium-I don’t know what you will do, but if this disgusting thing is really When it happens, I will refuse to win the league championship medal this season.”

Now that Real Madrid is going well, Kaka of course dare to say anything.

Going downwind is bragging, and going upwind is reasonable, and it can be applied everywhere.

c Roma responded: “I am different, I will receive the medal, but I will throw it in the trash.”

“Add me!”

“Defeat Barcelona!”

“Goal! Victory!”

“Haadrid!”

Kaka stretched out her hand, and everyone covered her hand together.

“One, two, three… Come on, Madrid!”

Real Madrid are all motivated and energetic, while Barcelona are serious and dignified. Even Neymar just nodded to Kaka without much greeting. It is estimated that Guardiola is in the dressing room. After a lot of medicine, this game Real Madrid will face is a red and blue army with the lives of the three armies.

“The players have entered the field, listen to this applause… There is no doubt that the most popular are Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo and Kaka, but you can find the difference if you listen carefully, regardless of the shouts to Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo. How enthusiastic the applause is, these cheers and applause will always be accompanied by some boos, but Kaka is different, when he plays, there is only a loud cheering.

This is the difference between Kaka and Melo. Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo’s results are flawed, and only Kaka’s career is truly perfect. UU reading www.uukanshu.com

Some people hate Messi, some people hate Ronaldo, but everyone likes Kaka. “

The Real Madrid anthem and “Song of Kaka” were uploaded from the South Stand. Kaka had to wave to greet there. As a result, it attracted more enthusiastic singing from the fans and the follow suit from other stands, making it as if what was about to be staged here was not. The century showdown of Mars hitting the earth is Kaka’s solo concert.

The dignified Guardiola soon discovered a detail.

The turf at the Bernabéu Stadium is deep.

When the players walked into the court, they left obvious footprints behind them, as if they were stepping on a wheat field.

Obviously, in order to prevent Barcelona’s smooth ground cooperation, Mourinho did not let the gardeners trim the turf, but let it grow tall…

[Damn Portuguese! 】

Kaka also discovered this. In addition to being a little dumbfounded at Mu Bird’s tricks, he also felt sad for Guardiola.

Even if you meet yourself, you have to face a disgusting opponent like Mu Niao. Gua Shuai’s life is very difficult~~

“Hey! Kaka!”

The two captains were busy with various chores before the game, and Ronaldo suddenly sneaked up to Kaka.

“What’s the matter?” Kaka looked at him inexplicably.

“Pass! Assist!” Robbie made a “666” gesture, “Give me six, ten minutes.”

“Oh Shet!” Van Persie kept supporting his ears after seeing Ronaldo’s movements, and immediately rushed forward, “I want seven, 15 minutes, but 20 minutes is not good.”

“…You really treat the competition as a concert. How about spot songs?”

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