Chapter 165:
In fact, it wasn't the first time Ethan had felt strange about Sarah. From the time she returned from the Ambrosia mansion, he could slowly notice her strangeness.
'You're late, was the situation at the mansion serious?'
'Oh no! Most of the mansion has been restored. However, Claude-nim said it was a little difficult to separate with.'
'You mean Claude? I thought he was okay with letting us go......'
'I know.'
Even at this time, he had a strange feeling when he looked at Sarah, who could not make eye contact with him, averting her gaze. It was also strange that Sarah's voice was bitterly cracked as she said the child didn't want to part. Come to think of it, Sarah held him back and repeatedly let go as if she had something to say until this morning.
'That, Duke-nim!'
'What's wrong?'
'Actually, I......'
'......?'
'Ah, it's nothing! I destroyed the Ambrosia mansion a little bit.'
'That's fine. It is not a mansion that will easily collapse, nor is it difficult to repair.'
'That's right......'
Biting her lips, fidgeting, making eye contact, then avoiding. Though he thought it was because of the destruction of the mansion, he couldn't shake the thought that there was something behind it.
"......Sarah."
"Yes?"
Ethan felt it intuitively when he saw Sarah open her eyes wide in surprise at his low call. There was something there. There was something very unpleasant about it. The words, 'You're weird' climbed up to the back of Ethan's throat, and was swallowed without being able to spit it out. His mouth was bitter and choked as if he had swallowed something gritty.
"I know it's not that hard for Sarah to save the Alton Estate."
"That's right. It's nothing!"
"But it seems to me that you are overly nervous."
"......Me?"
"Yes."
At Ethan's words, Sarah rolled her eyes for a moment and murmured.
"This job is too easy for me to be nervous."
"That's what I'm saying."
Sarah stared at Ethan's face through the mirror as he gently nodded and ruffled her hair. As if he felt the gaze, Ethan looked at Sarah in the mirror and smiled. It was when Sarah's heart began to pound little by little at Ethan's spring- flower-blooming-like smile. Sarah's heart, which was beating with excitement at Ethan's next words, plunged down there in an instant.
"I don't think that's the reason for the tension. For example, if I find out, I'm thinking about something I won't be able to ignore."
"......!"
Sarah's eyes grew as big as they could. Ethan, arguably the first time he'd ever seen Sarah so startled and bewildered. He always enjoyed discovering the different side of Sarah, but he couldn't enjoy it this time.
"Sarah."
"......"
"What on earth are you thinking in that little head of yours?"
The finely braided hair fell off Ethan's fingertips in an instant. Sarah saw Ethan's face sinking coldly through the mirror, and this time, she had to suppress her pounding heart with fear. Her lips couldn't stop trembling.
"I'll tell you everything. No, I can't tell you everything, but I was going to tell you everything I could. But I'm not ready yet......"
"So, you mean you were thinking of talking to me?"
"Of course, I was!"
Sarah nodded her head vigorously. This time around, things were a little big for her to act selfishly. She didn't want to be misunderstood and she didn't want to cause undue worry. Of course, what she was planning in the first place was something she couldn't help but worry about.
"Okay, I got it."
Ethan was barely convinced when he remembered the suspicious words she had been talking about since returning here yesterday evening. But now he asked, looking down at her with his arms crossed.
"Say it now. I will listen."
"I'm not ready yet......"
"Sarah."
"Yes."
Ethan, who called out her name in a soft but firm voice, made eye contact with Sarah and smiled brightly.
"Soon after you wear this robe and go outside, you won't be able to speak. You have to hide your identity."
"Right."
Sarah nodded as if possessed.
"And you will have to deal with the black magicians and the monsters they wield."
"Yes."
Again, she nodded, thinking that she might be sucked into Ethan Ambrosia's voice again.
"Do you think you can discuss something important to me in that situation?"
"No."
This time, looking at Sarah shaking her head, Ethan looked at her as if he was watching Claude who was very obedient, and he raised his hand and gently stroked her hair. Sarah smiled a little at the touch without knowing how she was being treated. But even that pleasant touch was brief, and his hand, stroking her hair, gradually grew stronger.
"Then tell me. Now."
Finally, his voice, which fell over Sarah's head, had a warning meaning. In short, if she didn't say it now, she would be in a lot of trouble.
"Ah, ah ah! It hurts!"
"Now."
"I'll tell you, I'll tell you!"
Sarah had no choice but to wave the white flag while screaming at the hands that were pressing on her head like acupressure.
"Actually, there's something I couldn't tell Duke-nim and Claude-nim! Before entering Ambrosia!"
"......"
As Sarah finally opened her mouth and was ready to speak, Ethan finally removed the hand he put on her head.
"......?"
She thought it was going to be very painful, but when Ethan's hand fell, she felt a cooling sensation on her scalp. Sarah was puzzled and tilted her head. But when she met eyes with Ethan, whose smile didn't reach his eyes, she hurriedly opened her mouth again.
"I mean, I didn't choose to be Claude-nim's nanny purely because of Dieline."
"I knew that. You are doing more than just taking care of a friend's child."
Ethan nodded in agreement. Rather than simply taking care of a close friend's child, Sarah was deeply involved in Ambrosia's internal affairs. Sarah's presence in Ambrosia was absolutely absolute. Now Ambrosia in her absence was beyond imagination. Ethan thought Sarah could abandon them anytime because they were parasitic on her devotion and her sacrifice. Sarah couldn't even imagine how much it was eating away at his mind.
"Aren't you mad?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Because I didn't enter Ambrosia with pure intentions......"
Sarah, who was hesitantly looking at him, was a little depressed. She seemed worried that he would be disappointed by this.
"Ha."
Seeing that, Ethan had to swallow his sneer at himself. Sarah probably didn't know. Whatever she came to Ambrosia for what she needed, he would be happy to be taken advantage of. As long as he could use it to tie Sarah to Ambrosia. Ethan responded with a brilliant deception of his own dark and muddy inner feelings.
"It doesn't matter. Rather, I am glad that you have something to gain from Ambrosia."
"......!"
At Ethan's answer, Sarah looked more relaxed. Looking at the relief, Ethan felt his heart ache with selfishness.
"I was born with a very strong power. Just because I was born like this, I have to pay a price that other people can't even imagine."
"What do you mean 'price'?"
Seeing Ethan's face hardened at the word 'price', Sarah answered in a soft voice as if trying to appease him.
"I can't tell you. I'm not trying to hide it, it's because it's related to the magician's oath."
"......I see."
At the word of the magician's oath, Ethan gave up getting an answer from Sarah. But it wasn't that he couldn't guess at all. It was because there was no other person to share the oath with Sarah except her disciples.
'Benjamin and Belluna knew a lot about the power of Ambrosia. If I look at the direction of their research, I will definitely find something.'
He pretended to give up right away, but Ethan's mind was spinning faster than anyone else. Not knowing this, Sarah sighed in relief and continued.
"It's not that I never hated the life I paid for it. Because it has become a normal daily routine for me to the extent that it is no different than breathing."
A life that goes back and forth between two souls. That was the price Sarah was paying. Did Sarah hate Park Hyeyeon's life, or did Park Hyeyeon hate Sarah's life? It was a meaningless question. Because she loved both lives.
"But one day, when I didn't want to, I stopped paying for it. So another misfortune took its place."
"......Because there is a law that requires another price for that price."
"That's right. So I want to get back the price that I originally paid."
At Sarah's answer, Ethan seemed lost in thought for a moment. She wondered what Ethan was thinking at this moment, but she couldn't bear to ask.
"But recently, I have learned that the power of Ambrosia can achieve what I want. Before that, it was just...... I just wanted to correct what was messed up by my mistake."
"But Sarah, this power is too much to help you......"
"Ambrosia's power is also a power that requires a price."
Both of them knew it was a power that needed vitality. The fact that you need this power means that you are willing to pay for it. Sarah, who saw Ethan's face slightly distorted, said with a smile.
"As I say here, there are things I want to get back even at the price. There are things I need to find out."
"Sarah, I'll never do anything to harm you. Even more, if it's because of the power I have."