I Became a Childhood Friend With the Villainous Saintess

15 – The Calamity (4)

[Hena]

I did not want to believe it.

I blinked several times, wanting to deny what I had seen.

I wished I had seen wrong.

Everything should’ve been a grim hallucination of that wicked year. If it was just a bad dream, that would have been enough.

I could apologize many times over, so I prayed that when she came to her senses, my mistress would be her usual self again.

But nothing changed.

She was still bleeding heavily, and Lazhen, full of wounds himself, was supporting her.

I hated the cruel reality. My throat was choked up and I couldn’t speak properly.

With great effort, I managed to force some semblance of language past my choked throat.

“No, it can’t… Mistress. It can’t. You can’t, Mistress!”

The injury of the mistress was too severe.

She had her neck slashed. The very neck through which the precious breath of the Mistress Terion flowed, nurturing her beautiful voice.

How much pain must she be in? Not only was she a person who suffered even from small wounds without showing it, but she also feared blood so much that she would never look at an injured wound.

I saw the mistress’s hand shaking violently. I wanted to hold it if it could comfort her, but my job was to stop her bleeding.

The world seemed to be turning upside down. The surrounding air was suffocating me.

A sense of helplessness rose from deep within me in a grim way.

Did she notice my condition? The mistress’s hand moved for a moment.

Yes, she was still alive. That thought alone allowed me to gather my wits.

I decided to do what I could for now.

“Lazhen, if you can move, can you call the mistress? She’ll be hiding underground. There are bandages and herbs nearby.”

“Okay, I’ll be back soon.”

Should I wait until Lazhen comes back?

I couldn’t afford to. Even a brief moment was too precious. I had to tend to the mistress’s wounds as soon as possible.

I tore my sleeve into pieces and luckily managed to make a suitable shape on the first try. I immediately bandaged the wound on her neck.

Again and again.

I wrapped it and pressed it down.

When Lazhen and the mistress returned, I asked the lady to take care of Lazhen.

As Lazhen’s body was being bandaged, I kept wiping the mistress’s blood and stopping the bleeding.

During this time, her bright red blood kept soaking my hands.

No matter how much I wiped, the bleeding didn’t stop. Somehow, I had to close the wound. But it was too large and deep. Just looking at it felt as if the pain was being transferred to me.

Suddenly, a groan of pain came from my mistress’s mouth.

My heart sank heavily. The air around me was dense. I couldn’t lift my head.

“The blood, the blood won’t stop. No. What should we do, my lord…? Oh, this is our lord… Ah, sob… sob…”

I shouldn’t be crying. It only blurs my vision when I shed such tears.

I just couldn’t bear it. The guilt of staining my hands with my lord’s blood was too much to handle.

I couldn’t treat my lord in this state, so I wiped my tears. The blood on my hand touched my face. It felt like my lord’s body heat was reaching out to me.

With my hands and face stained with blood, it was as if I had committed the crime of killing my lord.

I’m sorry, my lord. I’m sorry.

It should have been me who died.

My lord, even in this state, you shouldn’t be like this.

Such fate would be more fitting for a lowly woman like me.

“I’m sorry that you’re in such pain, that you’re scared. I’m sorry. I have failed, I’m sorry I couldn’t help…”

I wish I could bear your pain instead.

This sight of you, my lord, in pain, weighs heavily on my heart. If only I could shoulder your suffering.

Oh, cruel deity, I was never one to pray much.

I admit I was an insincere worshipper. So, I won’t ask for too much.

Please, just save my lord. I’ll accept whatever comes in return.

I’m okay even if I have to endure the torment of thousands of deaths or roam the depths of hell endlessly.

If my lord could regain his strength, I could do anything,

When my parents passed away, you didn’t help. You remained silent even when I was about to take my own life.

It was always my lord, not you, who saved me. And this precious lord is in pain now. He is much more important than someone like me.

I fear that death’s hand might reach out to my lord.

Please. Please help.

Someone out there, please save my lord.

You can take anything from me, just do not take my lord from me.

“My lord, my lord…. Ah… Sob… Sob……”

I hate to admit this, but I have to.

I failed to help my lord.

All I knew was how to tend minor wounds. When serious injuries occur, I was trained to ask for help from the nearest soldier or knight.

They’d ride horses to fetch the clergy. Until then, all I knew was to stop the bleeding, even if the wound was gaping and gruesome.

A stupid, foolish woman I am.

She had spent her whole life working for her master, yet she was utterly useless to him.

Yet, she spoke so passionately of love and such matters.

She couldn’t bear the resentment she had towards herself.

Her vision blurred once again. It seemed as if tears would not stop flowing.

Her master’s hand clasped her wrist.

“It’s okay, Hena.”

What could be okay after being hurt like this?

You couldn’t say anything in front of Rajen because of pride, but after the duel, you cried in pain every day, didn’t you?

Why don’t you admit that you’re in pain in situations like this when you’re usually a bit of a drama queen?

The young lady sobbed beside her, and she cried as well.

It felt as if all the sounds of the world had stopped. Other than the master’s voice, nothing could be heard.

“That’s enough. It seems too difficult for me anyway.”

Please don’t say things like that.

I’m afraid it seems like you’re going to leave me, Master.

The master is my everything. If I lose him, I’ll have nothing left.

“Hena has done more than enough.”

“I didn’t… I didn’t do anything!”

“No one could have done anything. I.. At the end… Just having you guys with me is enough.”

The master gripped her arm. She could feel the grip weakening.

No, please don’t let go of my hand.

Truly, I could have done anything for you, Master.

I swallowed my affection, endured the pain, cast away jealousy, and broke my own heart.

The only reason I could have done all that was because I could see you, Master. With just that, I could bear it.

“Please don’t die. I don’t want to live in a world without you.”

“Hena.”

“It’s all my fault. It’s all because of me.”

“Why would this be Hena’s fault? Don’t say such things.”

No. It is my fault.

Truthfully, I wasn’t unhappy with my life here.

I hated that the master had to be in a place like this, but that was the only thing I disliked.

Every day, I prepared meals for the young master and fell asleep happily in the bed next to him.

My heart fluttered at the thought of always being with the young master.

It was similar to a scene I once dreamed of. A dream that I shouldn’t have wished for.

I imagined living together in a small house, having a cute child, and occasionally exchanging smiles and glances.

That must be why I was punished.

Because I had such a wicked dream.

“Don’t cry… Ah, it’s a bit cold.”

“Please, please don’t do this. I don’t want this. Young master… please.”

“Sorry. Razen, take good care of the promise.”

“Don’t worry and rest. I haven’t forgotten the promise.”

“Thank you….”

The young master let go of my hand.

My emotions swelled up and I cried my eyes out in front of Razen and the lady.

I cried so much that I didn’t even know when I collapsed.

My eyes were swollen and painful.

When I woke up, the young master was lying down comfortably; his eyes closed and no longer breathing.

I was by the young master’s side. Razen and the lady were nowhere to be seen.

They seemed to have gone somewhere for a short while.

Had they gone to collect firewood? In the Elenzia Empire, funerals involved burning the deceased.

Razen, who was not in good health, should have woken me up, but he must have been considerate.

He knew I loved the young master. He might have given us time together out of consideration.

I tidied the young master’s hair.

It was something I always did, but today his hair felt stiff. At such times, I used to make shampoo out of flower petal water, olive oil, and egg yolks.

That would quickly make it soft and smooth again, as he had always had such beautiful hair.

“Yes, young master. My words to Razen were sincere. I loved you, but I was content just to watch you from beside you. But now, I can say it.”

His skin was pale, and I couldn’t feel any warmth.

Still, it seemed like there was a little warmth left, so I hugged him tightly.

“I love you, young master.”

I tried saying what I wanted to say.

“More than anyone else in this world, I have loved you. Even though I knew it would never come true, I loved you. Every night, I would reminisce about every word the young master had ever said to me. I would have loved you until the day I die.”

It was ironic.

The words I wanted to say the most, but why did I have to say them at a moment when I least wanted to imagine them?

“I really don’t want to let go of you like this.”

A world without you seems too cold.

I want to see you sometimes with a carefree expression, like solving a riddle.

Sometimes dignified, sometimes childlike, sometimes mature. I can’t live without you, who showed me various aspects of yourself.

“I could not be connected with you through love.”

But, do you know?

I still have one last chance to be with you.

“Please wait a little.”

I’ll catch up with you soon.