ALL NOVEL chapter 1
1 – I Don’t Believe in Fortune Telling
A room utterly destroyed and reduced to a disastrous mess.
In the middle of that room, I took deep breaths, unable to control my rage.
Calm down, calm down.
I did lose it for a moment there, but I need to calm down now. I can’t take my anger out on this room forever.
Slowly inhaling and exhaling, I quell my emotions and stand before the only thing left undamaged – a mirror.
“…Just the same.”
Luckily the mirror I didn’t destroy in my sanity reflects my real-life appearance.
Since it’s clear I’ve entered the game world, I wondered if I’d look like a game character, but at least this is fortunate…
“…As if.”
What’s fortunate about getting caught up in this crap? Everything about this is bullsh*t.
So this is how my sister, that crazy b*tch, decided to deal with her brother.
Rage boiled up again, but my cooled rationality barely held it back.
There’s no good answer to this situation, but I still need to do something.
‘What is this place anyway?’
First I need to grasp the situation.
Looking closely around the room, I see thick books strewn about, a half-broken wardrobe, a worn desk, shattered vase, and more.
…I made this mess, but it’s still hard to make out details in this chaos.
I casually rummaged around and picked up a book lying haphazardly on the floor.
“‘Basic Fortune Telling Anyone Can Learn’?”
The books scattered on the floor seemed most useful.
The sizes and shapes varied wildly, but they all concerned fortune telling?
‘My last job was Fortune Teller.’
Skimming through, it just discusses various fortune telling methods. Nothing to explain my current plight.
If that’s how it is…I have no choice but to look at that.
[PS. Do your best!]
“…Crazy b*tch.”
The status window still floating and shining.
Seeing that b*tch’s words nearly unleashed my simmering rage again, but I somehow held it back.
The status window contents should still be there. Something must be written.
I lowered my expectations and read the text.
[Tutorial: ＜A Chaotic Entrance!＞
Welcome! For you who have entered Romance Academy, days full of blossoms await!
But sadly, it is too soon. You’ve only started the Romance Academy game, you haven’t actually enrolled in Romance Academy yet.
hahahaha, were you worried? No problem! Enrolling is basics among basics!
Master your job skills and gracefully enroll in Romance Academy!
Objectives: Acquire job skills
Enroll in Romance Academy
Enroll top of your class at Romance Academy! ＜- Strongly recommended!
Time limit: 71 hours 59 minutes 57 seconds
Reward: Hints for returning!
“Ah, bullsh*t.”
The garish text floating on the stupidly shining status window.
Yes, seeing this quest brimming with arrogance and flashiness, I realized it once again.
I’m inside ＜Romance Academy＞ now.
“You crazy b*tch…I told you to write normal quest scripts….”
What? Days full of blossoms? hahahaha? Verbal acrobatics that don’t even sound like Romance Academy?
Why stick Romance onto the academy name in the first place? There are so many better sounding words, so why Romance?
Are you saying it’s a girls’ love game? Really?
“Phew….”
A deep sigh escaped from my body.
What exactly am I supposed to do in a world like this?
If the only thing that appeared was that sh*tty quest, the outlook would be pitch black, but…there was one sentence giving pointless hope.
“So return is possible.”
I racked my brains wondering if this crazy b*tch was actually trying to kill her family.
It’s telling me to see the ending.
To clear the game. It made me feel uncertain like in the web novels I enjoyed reading, but still…
But it’s the ending. If I entered a normal game it would be fine, but…the story is a bit different for this sh*tty game.
“..Job skills.”
To see the ending, these skills are truly important. ＜Romance Academy＞ only allows you to learn 3 skills, the most important of which is the job skill.
So the balance of the job skills, which establish the job’s identity, was really important in this game.
‘It was a sh*tshow, as expected of a crappy game.’
Some jobs were so strong you could see the ending with that skill alone, while others were so pathetically weak it was outright impossible to finish with them.
Anyway, my future depends on the capabilities of the Fortune Teller skills.
“But why the hell Fortune Teller…”
Did this crazy b*tch forget that a sham fortune teller ruined our family when she was little? Is her intelligence on the level of a goldfish now from being treated like one?
That’s the reason I entered the police academy. To catch that cultist bastard who our parents fell for.
And yet she brazenly includes Fortune Teller as a job? I thought she’d really lost it when I first saw it.
‘…Should’ve done Fortune Teller sooner.’
Every time I did a playthrough, I immediately skipped past Fortune Teller to the next job, so it’s bullsh*t it’s come back around.
But regardless of my loathing for fortune tellers, and absolute disbelief in the fortunes they tell, I need to check the job skills.
Strictly speaking, I hate the cultist fortune teller who destroyed our household, not all fortune tellers in the world.
I opened the job skills with the expression of having swallowed a bug.
[Job: Fortune Teller
Those who read the stars and forecast the future through water and creatures were called astrologers.
Yes, that’s an astrologer, not a fortune teller! Fortune tellers don’t see the future, they see the present!
Use all kinds of tools and luck to give readings about others!
* The Fortune Teller job has high aptitude for learning specific types of magical knowledge!
* The Fortune Teller job has high aptitude for learning mythical knowledge!
* The Fortune Teller job has disastrous aptitude for physical activities, be careful even when running!]
“……”
I didn’t care why it explained astrologers when describing fortune tellers, or why the explanation was so sloppy. That’s just how the game was.
The real issue was the last Fortune Teller aptitude.
“Disastrous physical activity aptitude…bullsh*t.”
If I remember right, the descriptor ‘disastrous’ only appeared when an aptitude approached nearly 0.
This is seriously hopeless.
…No, wait.
What if physical activity aptitude is disastrous? Unlike skills, aptitudes can be changed.
If I utilize every support equipment and skill obtainable in the game, even disastrous aptitudes could be raised to average somehow.
It might be an issue if I can do that or not, but it’s not outright impossible.
The real problem is the skill.
“There better be something to help in combat…!”
Combat makes up a pretty big portion in ＜Romance Academy＞. Despite being a girls’ love game, combat gets shoved into all sorts of events.
Important events, acquiring equipment, relationships with characters, exams, endings – the importance of combat goes without saying.
So please let the Fortune Teller be combat-related.
The job name doesn’t seem promising, but there’s such a thing as maybe!
[Job: Fortune Teller
Job Skill: Fortune Telling
Fortune tellers can give fortunes about specific targets using tarot cards and palm reading.
Fortune tellers have the unique stat ‘Accuracy’ showing the probability their fortune will come true!
* Fortune tellers start with a base 10% Accuracy.
* Using ‘Tarot Cards’ to give a fortune increases Accuracy by 5%!
* Using ‘Palm Reading’ to give a fortune increases Accuracy by 5%!
* Accuracy increases another 5% for targets whose fortune has been told multiple times!
Current Accuracy: 10%]
“……”
Disastrous physical activity, magic only applies to knowledge acquisition.
And the job skill is solely fortune telling.
I was truly grateful to this crazy b*tch for helping me realize that when people get exceedingly angry, they conversely become calm.
But hey, aren’t you supposed to be a fortune teller?
My fortune telling skill only has a 10% chance of being right? Even factoring in tarot cards, physiognomy, and people who’ve had multiple readings, it only goes up to 25%?
So I’ll only get it right 1 out of 4 times?
“Damn it, I’m going to beat her up.”
That doesn’t mean I’ll beat up the developer when I get back. I’m close to graduating and have paid off most of my student loans, so I was finally getting my life together.
I’ve lived diligently until now, I absolutely refuse to ruin my life over this screwed up game.
Especially since I have to catch that crazy b*tch…!
“Fortune telling? Beat up.”
Anyway, since my job is fortune teller, there will definitely be fortune telling related events and job quests once I enter Romance Academy.
I can’t ignore all that. Completing job quests is a condition for the good ending.
I’m just saying I won’t rely on this useless “Fortune Telling” skill.
“I don’t even believe in fortune telling.”
I have no intention of pleading to gods or ancestors to reveal my fate, or leaving it up to randomly drawn cards.
I’ll become a fortune teller who doesn’t believe in fortune telling.
And get back rationally and logically.
“I will definitely catch this b*tch.”
I firmly nodded at my sister.