I Became an Extra Who Died Instead of the Main Character

33 – Blindness (2)

Blindness makes the person feel deprived rather than expected.

For example…

“······Can anyone explain this principle?”

“I’ll try.”

“Yes, Karina. Let’s try it.”

When other children are actively participating in class, it makes me feel like I am in a world far away from myself.

“This part is important, so it would be good to write it down if possible.”

Writing notes for an important class is something I couldn’t even dream of.

Actually, I belonged to the side who quite likes the act of writing or recording.

You might think it’s a bit childish, but I also liked keeping a diary.

Even when I was stuck in a secluded room at the count’s house before returning, I kept a diary, writing down whatever words I wanted, so it’s quite understandable that I didn’t hate the act of writing.

“······But what… I can’t even dream of writing.”

However, in the current situation, no matter how much I like to write, I have to admit that the impossible is impossible.

It’s not that I haven’t tried. I tried to take some notes by listening intently to Professor Javert.

‘······It’s hard to recognize, contractor.’

“······Really?”

I decided to give up taking notes the moment I heard ifrit’s cruel, if cruel, transmission from the side I checked my handwriting.

I’m taking notes for when my eyesight returns later, but I wondered what the point would be if it was at a level that I couldn’t recognize even when my eyesight returned.

It hurts my heart, but… What can I do? It’s true.

‘Later… Should I ask someone else to show it?’

Wouldn’t it be nice if you asked Karina, who you think you’ve become close with, to show it to? They said they would be friends from the next time in the forest, so they probably showed this level of writing.

‘Something strangely irresponsible.’

Then what should I do? There is no way. I should study too…

As Ifrit said, it was a really irresponsible remark.

***

Somehow, the 4th period, which seemed like hell, all went by.

Deng-Deng-

The morning class of the first day of blindness ended with the sound of the bell announcing the end of the 4th period.

“Ahh.”

As soon as the bell rang, I collapsed onto the desk.

‘Good work, contractor.’

Ifrit raised his voice as if he was proud of me.

“······I didn’t do anything?”

As I listened to it, I didn’t do anything other than listen during this morning’s class, so I wondered if it was okay for me to listen to that.

‘But, like other humans, didn’t you try hard to participate in the class?’

“That’s…Right.”

I thought it wasn’t because I didn’t make an effort, so I was able to nod my head to some extent and move on.

Teouk-

As I lay on the desk yawning for a long time, I felt someone put their hand on the desk.

“Lian, would you like to go out to dinner together?”

‘.

If you took me down hard last time… Karina. Also, her voice is Karina’s unique bright voice.

Although I was grateful for Karina’s willingness to eat with me during lunchtime.

“Sorry, I’m feeling a little down right now.”

A voice of rejection came out of my mouth.

The reason for the rejection was also simple.

‘······What if we go out to eat together and get caught blind?’

Because the chances of getting my vision condition were very high.

Eating rice is an act that eats up people’s nerves a lot more than I thought. Even using cutlery wasn’t easy if you didn’t have eyesight.

Also, the road to eat would be very difficult. Thanks to the staff the principal gave me, I don’t think I’ll get confused.

If I carried a cane for no reason, I would be suspicious.

As if she didn’t expect me to refuse, Karina voiced regret.

“I can’t help it if I’m not feeling well… Go to the health room at least once.”

“Thanks for your concern, Karina.”

Deceiving Karina, who even worried about me with lies like this, was an act that stung her conscience very much.

Because it was better than spreading rumors that I lost my eyesight after going out to eat together to keep my conscience. I was able to hold on to the guilt that flowed out.

‘······The contractor really treats the person who cursed the contractor so highly.’

Ifrit didn’t seem to like the fact that I was grateful to Karina. It was true that Karina talked about her behind her back before the forest incident happened, while making up rumors about her.

Still, I was able to understand Karina to some extent.

My rumors must have been so bad. It was only natural that there was no one with a worse reputation than me among the aristocrats in the capital, and it was difficult to find a person with a worse reputation than me, not limited to the nobles, but among all the nobles.

Rather, I felt grateful to Karina for accepting me as her friend despite such rumors. After experiencing a person named Lian Kindred, you accepted the bad rumors.

‘······Whew.’

Her spirit let out a sigh as if fed up with my endless uplifting of Karina.

It wasn’t that I didn’t understand Ifrit’s reaction either, but there was definitely a reason for me to lift Karina up like this.

“······It’s our first friend since Adele, what should I do?”

She had only had one friend, Adele, her fiancée, all her life.

Even with Adele, who was her only friend, I became worse off than anyone else because of my fault.

She’s Now Thanks to Adele’s approaching her first, she outwardly maintains the cause of being her friend, but…

‘But?’

“I’m still not sure if I can be Adele’s friend.”

I’m still not sure if this is the right relationship.

Before returning, Adele’s relationship with me was so bad that nothing could be worse.

It was as if I had fallen into a filthy and ugly swamp of qualifications, and had somehow cut off Adele’s hand, who was trying to get me out of that swamp.

– What does it matter to you? Adele Listonia.

The look on Adele’s face when she heard those words was still vividly remembered even after she lost her eyesight. A wounded expression that goes beyond being sad and asks how you could be like that.

After that, we avoided each other.

Even if you happen to run into a socialite you were forcibly dragged into.

– ···

– ···

They passed by as if they had seen something they couldn’t see without saying a word to each other.

By the time I regained my memory and threw away all the crazy things I had done, it was already too late.

Adele’s chronic disease was thus absorbed. Even though she knew that my body was much worse than Adele, who had previously suffered from the disease, the burden of her illness would be much greater.

I’m sorry. I want to somehow wash away this guilt.

So, instead of saying sorry, I cowardly and quietly absorbed Adele’s disease from behind.

Although no one knew about this.

No one knew about this, though he died quietly in an isolated room.

I never regretted absorbing Adele’s disease. No, she didn’t deserve any regrets.

Because I’m just a useless extra who hurt the main character.

After my long monologue, Ifrit asked in a quiet, low voice.

‘So you’re saying you can’t be that child’s friend?’

“Uh. I don’t even know if I deserve it in the first place.”

‘···’

But what about that kid? Didn’t Adele go out to eat?

I suddenly had doubts about my thoughts. And, Ifrit said as if he had been waiting for me to say that.

‘A while ago, that girl named Karina has been staring at you since the baby came to you.’

“···”

No, tell me why now.

At my absurd question, the spirit said as if he really didn’t know.

‘Have you never asked?’

“···”

I’m at a loss for words.

I have a lot of things I want to say but I can’t say it.

Drreuk-

As I was seriously contemplating what to do with this spirit, I heard the sound of a chair being dragged, as if someone had woken up.

‘Oh, that kid got up. And he’s coming this way.’

“······Adele?”

Why is he coming all of a sudden? I’m going to die of confusion right now because of my own thoughts.

I prayed for him to come some other time, but I heard Adele’s sweet voice as if my prayers hadn’t worked.

“Ryan, could you give me a minute to talk?”

With that beautiful voice that can be said to be sad if it is sad.

“······Uh… Yes.”

I couldn’t help but nod my head, forgetting that I had declined Karina’s request earlier on the grounds that I had a stomach ache. Perhaps if I had been able to look in the mirror now, I would have been able to check my trembling eyes even though I lost my eyesight.

Ah. Hungry. Even if it looks like she’ll be caught, she should’ve followed Karina.

It was lunchtime when I felt a surge of regret.