chapter 35
35 – Discovery (2)
“Like you took my bottle.”
When I heard Adele say that she already knew that I had absorbed her disease, the first thoughts that came to my mind were ‘It’s ruined’, ‘It’s a big deal’. It wasn’t that kind of worry.
‘How do I know?’
My head, which was expected to be very crowded, rather cooled down and judged the current situation coolly.
As if being caught by Adele was no big deal.
Ha, it’s no big deal that Adele caught absorbing Adele’s disease.
Looking at these ridiculous thoughts, it seems that I also thought in my heart that someone would find out someday.
Because there are too many clues I left here and there to assume that it will never be discovered.
At the same time as the chronic disease that plagued Adele disappeared, my physical condition became so weak that I collapsed while taking the exam.
And since the forest incident, I feel the same spirit magic as Adele. The true identity of Ifrit, the spirit of fire, was actually revealed.
With so many clues left without even thinking about erasing them, wouldn’t it be natural for Adele, who has been known as a genius since childhood, to notice?
Until now, I’ve only told you my hopes that I won’t be found out. That hope was torn to shreds and only fragments remained.
“How did you know?”
Thinking that everything was already wrong, I said with a bit of relief.
Relieved. I didn’t know if the expression could be used in this situation. When I defined the state in my head now, I couldn’t think of an expression like this.
Because it was really empty, as if only emptiness remained.
Full of dark and empty thoughts, I couldn’t easily understand what I was saying or doing.
As if not expecting me to ask again, Adele paused for a while before speaking.
“······There were too many clues.”
“Clues?”
“The point at which my illness disappeared, the point at which you, who were originally not very healthy but not sickly, became sickly. It took me too much.”
“···”
I see. Also, I was too lazy. I should have done better.
As expected, I think I showed off too much. No matter how split we were, we were ‘childhood friends’ that we had known since childhood.
The best ‘childhood friend’ in the world.
‘······It’s a title that doesn’t matter.’
Those titles that only have a façade will be gone after this job is over.
As if waking up my thoughts, I heard Adele’s voice.
“Why did you do that?”
In that voice that had been digging into every part of my private parts until just now, that voice sounded a bit angry. It was now full of water.
“Why did you take my bottle?”
“···”
“Why are you trying to get sick instead of me?”
“···”
“I… I’m a bad b*tch who couldn’t even help you when you were in trouble…”
After saying that, Adele burst into tears as if she was overcome with emotion.
He said he couldn’t help me when I was having a hard time… Maybe I realized that I had been compared to myself when I was young.
‘…Did the count tell you?’
I wonder if Earl Kindred informed me because few people knew that I had lived my life being compared. And predicted.
“Huh… Black.”
Adele is crying in front of me right now, but that kind of prediction was not important.
She was a woman called the most beautiful in the empire shedding tears in front of me, and she had both her hands intact to wipe those tears away from me.
“·······Sorry.”
I didn’t wipe her tears, saying I was sorry. No, is it a little more accurate expression?
It wasn’t a problem that I couldn’t see.
Although my current condition is that I can’t see the crying Adele due to her loss of sight, she can at least wipe away the tears if she gets help from Ifrit.
Even so, I couldn’t accept her tears.
‘Because I don’t deserve that.’
Because it’s been a long time since I lost the qualification to wipe Adele’s tears.
– What does it matter to you? Adele Listonia.
From the time I spat those cold words to Adele, full of qualifications. I wasn’t Adele’s best friend, childhood friend, or confidant.
It’s just a piece of trash that he couldn’t stand his qualifications and took out his anger on his fiancée.
I had a background of growing up being compared no matter how much, but in the end it was my fault that I couldn’t calm my qualifications.
The only relationship left to us was the façade of a fiancée, and nothing else existed.
Even that is an engagement relationship that was cut off in the previous life. I wondered what the meaning of this engagement relationship, which had been going on for a while now, was.
A friend? Okay. You might think that it led to a relationship called friendship.
Because even though I went through that kind of thing, Adele had the courage to come to me first. And I accepted the offer without hesitation.
However, it would have been right to refuse. At the time of acceptance, Adele accepted it saying she would help her meet a better person.
Now that I think about it, I wondered if it was because I existed that Adele couldn’t meet good people.
Adele Listonia was too big a light to be by my side, and I was like an insignificant bug that could not stand the bright sunlight and would burn to death.
No matter how bright the sun was, there were bound to be people who didn’t like the corpse of a dirty insect next to it.
‘······ Calling myself a bug.’
Suddenly, I had an idea.
A person who calls himself a bug is someone with low self-esteem.
I thought I had recovered to some extent after coming to the academy and becoming close with people like Tinia and Karina. I guess that wasn’t the case.
To undo my broken state of mind by being close to only two people. The once broken heart was so rotten that it was broken.
I had to pay a price to be happy with the person named Adele in front of me.
And this price had to be paid. Because I had enough of regrets.
Because I didn’t want to see Adele cry anymore.
With that determination, I struggled to say the following words.
“······Let’s break off the engagement.”
Break off marriage. Simple, if simple, words that say two people who promised to marry by engagement break that promise.
It was also a word that must always exist between me and Adele.
“······What? Why…”
Adele didn’t seem to understand my sudden breakup.
No, maybe he refuses to understand it in his head. It was revealed that a close childhood friend had taken her illness, and now she thought that she could go back to the old days, but that childhood friend suddenly asked to break up the engagement.
If I had wiped Adele’s tears earlier, that might have happened. It must have been something like forgetting all the dark past and dreaming of a bright future together.
But there was no change in my opinion. No, it shouldn’t have changed.
Because.
‘······I will die in three years.’
Adele’s chronic disease that is still eating away at my body. There was no cure for it.
I didn’t know that it might take less than three years. Even though I didn’t do anything in my previous life, it was three years, but in this life, I did quite a few things that made my body worse, such as losing my eyesight.
I know that I will die soon like this. I couldn’t go back to being with Adele again.
Returning to the way it was before means going back to being close friends. It was clear that if that happened, both Adele and I would be happy.
‘······That’s all.’
However, that was the end.
After spending time happily like that, what if ‘that day’ comes? When ‘that day’ came when I died coldly in a lonely room.
What will Adele do when she is left alone?
If we become close like in the past, there will definitely be feelings between a man and a woman.
No. In the first place, the happy time itself would not be long.
In my previous life, I suffered from increasingly mild illnesses, and gradually lost my senses and spent a devastating time.
What would Adele, who has been kind-hearted and teary-eyed since childhood, see of my condition?
‘I will cry like now.’
Of course, I was sad and shed a lot of tears. Why did you do that, that’s why I have to be sick, but why are you sick.
Why are you trying to die instead of me? I will cry like that
And I who watch it?
It was clear that I would regret it. I should have cut off Adele’s hand then.
I would very much regret it. If I hadn’t held Adele’s hand at this time, none of this would have happened. And
If I couldn’t live happily, Adele could have lived happily. Saying.
Rather than letting that situation come, it would be better to hurt Adele a little now.
Even if the wound wasn’t a small one, it was quite a big one, it healed.
I don’t know how scarred that wound will be, but the present wound is better than the huge scar that will surely come in the future.
So I spat out a sound I had never even thought of, something I had never even heard of.
“I hate you, Adele Listonia.”
“… What?”
Adele asked in a still watery voice, as if she had heard it wrong.
“I hate you.”
The cold words I spat out did not change.
It was a word that shattered my mindset that I would never hurt Adele again.
This was also a must-do considering the scars Adele would receive in the future.
For Adele. It was right to cut off our abnormal relationship.
Even if the result is my future dying lonely like the past.