I Became an Outcast in the Academy

5. Return (5)

“I think it would be good for you and me to become lovers.”

“… What?”

“So, to put it simply, I think it would be better for you and me to be in love. Preferably in front of other people.”

“…..”

I blinked at Cartesia’s words without realizing it.

No, I didn’t ask because I didn’t understand what you meant.

It’s just that my head was overloaded because I couldn’t recognize how the hell I should accept those words.

So… Who the hell is going to be a lover and love with whom… ?

“What, did you not like being a lover with me? No way… Is it because there’s another girl you already have in mind? Huh?”

“What if my sister doesn’t like her? If it were me, it would be a good choice since I’m much greener than my older sister, who is an old lady… “

“Who the hell is a lady! I’m not even twenty yet!”

“Then what if you are not an aunt who is two years older than me! And how can I stay still when I can see her sister’s sinister inside out so clearly!”

Looking at the two sisters who started fighting again, screaming at each other, I sighed again.

I don’t know why, but it was because I had an ominous feeling that in my life I would see countless numbers of these two women pointing at each other and raising their voices.

“… Did you fight now? Then can I speak now?”

As Cartesia and Arietta showed some sincerity, I was finally able to get to the point.

“First of all, apart from everything else, Cartesia, you belong to the royal family. But how the hell do you and I become lovers?”

Even though I was an ignorant mercenary, that didn’t mean I was ignorant of the world.

Aristocrats are extremely reluctant to ask the lineage of commoners in their lineage unless it is a very rare case.

You don’t have to go far, just by looking at the fact that the majority of children born between nobles and commoners are treated as illegitimate children and are not treated properly as aristocrats, isn’t it?

However, I am not just a commoner, I am an orphan from the street and Cartesia, the princess of the empire, become lovers?

That must be a really absurd story that is not even a joke.

“… No matter how much you think about it, it seems that you don’t properly recognize your own value. When I think about it, if you put your mind to it, it’s not just about marrying a nobleman-“

Cartesia looked at me for a while with a puzzled look, then she sighed and smiled.

“… No, no. You don’t have to know about those political stories. If I can tell you just one thing, it’s that His Majesty has already allowed this.”

“Your Majesty allowed me to date you?”

No, in the first place, Cartesia and I have never even held each other’s hands, let alone dated.

‘But… Come to think of it, we’ve kissed each other before.’

To be precise, I was “Gotten” A kiss, but it was clear that we kissed each other anyway, so there was no room for excuses anywhere.

I’m still in a relationship, so I’m not sure if it’s really normal to kiss each other before holding hands.

“I will put off discussing what a normal relationship with you is for later… Being in a romantic relationship with me is all a proposal for you. His Majesty also gave permission in that sense.”

It’s an annoying consideration that’s useless to anyone, Cartesia grumbled in a low voice.

“… For me?”

“Yes. To be more precise, it is to make sure that the crime of injuring the imperial family that is currently hanging on you never existed. You became the benefactor of the imperial family by saving Arietta. However, even for you or Arrieta, you can never reveal what happened that day to the outside world.”

“But if rumors circulate that you and I were in fact lovers… People will understand that you used your authority as a member of the imperial family to cover up my sins.”

Now that I understand what she was trying to say, I nodded her head, and Cartesia whispered in my ear in a subtle tone.

“And if you pretend to be a lover with me… There is one more advantage.”

“Advantages? What is that?”

“Those girls… So you can definitely f*ck your little sisters.”

What was so interesting, Cartesia didn’t stop her giggling even while she was talking.

“I assure you, if we pretend to be lovers in front of those girls… The eyes of those girls would turn upside down in an instant? At least you’ll see him shaking his hands and feet in front of you. You can bet.”

Cartesia said that in a confident tone, but honestly, I couldn’t help but have doubts about her words.

“Um… I think my sisters hate me very much. Actually they said this The existence of me is very annoying when they go up.”

“… Well, I guess. That’s just what those greedy girls would say.”

“Then, if I disappear from their lives and go to another woman, shouldn’t they welcome it with open arms? From their point of view, it’s as if they wanted to move me to another place, but I turned it off on their own.”

At my words, Cartesia shook her head left and right.

“You are right. But… If that were the case, those girls would not be able to think so rationally.”

“… Why?”

“Originally, human psychology is like that. Even things that you don’t normally pay attention to suddenly become precious if someone else covets them. A situation in which a man who had taken for granted until now was taken away by another woman. There is no one who does not bite crab bubbles in such a situation, right?”

Saying that, Cartesia smiled.

“If it was just a stolen item, I could just get angry and end it… If what was stolen was a person, the story would be different. What on earth am I worse than that woman, so that man leaves me, what on earth does that woman do to abandon me, and what does that woman see in that man that makes her so obsessed… Because I have no choice but to think like this.”

There is nothing that devastates people more than vague hatred and obsession.

Pain becomes resentment, and resentment very easily turns into obsession.

And obsession often plays the biggest role in eventually wearing out and breaking down people’s minds.

Even if you don’t realize it, the fact that someone who has been filling your heart so far is leaving you is enough to make a person go crazy.

Because the human heart has a tendency to try to fill the void with hate and pain rather than filling it with love.

“… So, does that mean that provoking your younger sisters by acting as lovers in front of them is revenge?”

“That level is a bit weak to call it revenge. If I had to ask, wouldn’t it be the beginning of revenge?”

Cartesia looks at me with something meaningful in her eyes.

“Don’t you think something is unfair? Wasn’t it because your heart was broken by the betrayal of those b*tches, not because you were directly harmed, that you wanted to get revenge on those girls? If that’s the case, those girls should be a little sick too. So that they can feel desperately how much weight you have occupied in their lives.”

“…..”

So, does that mean that my younger sisters feel pain because of how much I played in their lives?

“Those girls know nothing. How precious is the existence of a family to a person. How thrilling it is to have someone precious by my side… “

Cartesia’s hand caresses me carefully.

It wasn’t the kind of hand gesture that was full of lust when you kissed me earlier, but it was a hand gesture that seemed to be struggling to hold on to a mirage, and in some ways it felt pitiful.

“I know who you are. With his mouth he cries vengeance, and in the end he will surely do all his vengeance well, but on the other hand he will sympathize with the girls. Because you are such a nice person Because you are a good person.”

“Then leave the villain role to me. You can just stay as you are now. I will become your sword and cut through everything that threatens you. Because I came back here at the cost of all sacrifices just for that… “

For a moment, while listening to Cartesia’s words, I felt something out of place.

I don’t know why, but sometimes her words feel like they’re not directed at me.

No, to be precise, what I’m saying is correct, but it’s like overlapping something fundamentally different from me-

“If it is to make you happy, I will follow you anywhere, and forever and ever I will see you again… It will keep you from feeling lonely. So that your life doesn’t get messed up again, and… So that you don’t resent your own life again… “

Come to think of it, I don’t remember very well.

How did Cartesia and I become friends?

From a certain moment, she was by my side, and she became my friend very naturally.

But looking back, she and I have only known each other for half a year.

“So don’t worry. This time I’ll be your family. So this time for sure… “

I don’t know about anything else, but I thought I could be sure of this one thing.

Cartesia, she already knew about who she was.

At least long before I knew anything about her, and from a distant, mind-bending time-

It was clear that she had been waiting for me all along.

Yes, all along.