Chapter 85
Atra had never cared for anyone in her life.
When her parents were alive, she was the one being cared for, and she had no siblings to look after.
After losing her parents, she was always alone. In the orphanage, she was always by herself, and at the academy, she was too busy struggling to form any friendships.
Right after graduating from the academy, she headed to the front lines of the magic war, and after rolling around for a few years, she finally came back to the mainland.
Even after coming back, she didn’t make any new friends. She only knew a few familiar faces. The only bond she could call new was a former student who had passed away.
In short, Atra wasn’t the type to actively make friends; she just wasn’t social.
“……”
Because of that, she had no idea how to handle this situation.
In the healing room where Lee Ha-yul was hospitalized.
In the warm atmosphere warmed by the bright sunlight streaming in through the large window.
Atra let out a deep sigh. She looked down at her arms, where her dilemma was all too evident.
– Grrr…
There, nestled in her arms, was Lee Ha-yul, fast asleep.
He seemed so content that he even let out a soft rumble, like a pet.
‘…What am I supposed to do about this…’
Atra awkwardly patted Lee Ha-yul’s back, recalling what had happened yesterday.
After Lee Ha-yul regained consciousness, she was on edge, worried he might have a seizure. Suddenly, he began to whimper and snuggle up to her.
She felt a jolting panic in her chest at the tears gathering in his eyes and instinctively caught him in her arms.
His weak attempts to hug back were so pitiful that she couldn’t help but just hold him tightly.
– Sob…
Atra started to soothe him by patting his back, but she found herself staring blankly at how Lee Ha-yul was sniffling in her embrace.
Lee Ha-yul was already thin and delicate-looking by nature.
Add to that his sickly pallor, and he looked so fragile that she felt an overwhelming desire to protect him even with a light touch.
Gone was the image of him trying to act mature; instead, he was now clinging to her and whining, which felt so foreign.
After calming him down for a while, the healers came in.
They tried to detach him from her; after all, medical examinations should be conducted properly, right? With that thought in mind, Atra tried to gently push him away.
– Eeeeng…
But… she just couldn’t push him away. The moment he showed even a hint of distress, he shook his head, burying his face deeper into her arms.
His whimpering, filled with a sense of sadness and disappointment that couldn’t be articulated, made Atra freeze. There was no way she could push him away.
In the end, somehow, it resulted in the medical examination taking place with Lee Ha-yul still in her arms.
‘Crap.’
Atra couldn’t forget the healer’s gaze fixed on her…
But she simply couldn’t bring herself to push Lee Ha-yul away. Her conscience? Or some kind of human emotion made such a choice impossible.
In a daze, she had let him stay in her embrace.
And so it had been like this since yesterday.
Once she had given him an inch, he wouldn’t budge even the slightest. It was as if her arms had become his home, deeply asleep and nestled in her grasp.
This left Atra in a position where she couldn’t move without also lying down beside him.
Fortunately, the bed was spacious enough for them to lie side by side comfortably.
Since Lee Ha-yul was already tucked in her arms, he hardly took up any space at all.
Reality returned to Atra.
She let out another sigh. With her breathing, her chest rose and fell, and Lee Ha-yul’s cheek pressed against her softly.
“……”
As she stared at him awkwardly, Atra carefully extended her arm.
Her hand got tangled in his hair, and she felt a touch that seemed unreal and yet soothing.
Slowly, she began to move her arm.
Gently… her fingers brushed through his hair. After a day of petting and soothing him, she had somewhat gotten used to the sensation.
Then she noticed the corners of Lee Ha-yul’s mouth twitching. His face relaxed, and he rubbed his head against her palm with a rumbling sound.
His expression lifted into a drowsy smile that filled her vision.
The current image of him overlapped with the one she had seen in a video.
The face that had been strained with pain while confronting monsters in a bid to protect others emerged alongside the one now snuggling against her, whimpering.
And then there were those adorable puppy-like looks, seeking her affection.
Atra felt a pang of regret.
She shouldn’t have ignored him when he went out. She shouldn’t have brushed aside her vague unease. She shouldn’t have thought that if she wouldn’t be there for him for life, it was no longer her concern.
There were many regrets, both larger and smaller.
She had been too trapped in the past, failing to see Lee Ha-yul, who existed in the present. She regretted her attitude. Had she been too prickly and cold towards him?
She thought she had done her best… but still, she should have better taught him. She should have helped him overcome hardships more effectively.
Atra felt guilt over the sufficiency of her teachings, fearing that her lack of support resulted in his current injuries.
She could have been a tad softer with him, but she failed.
She had repeated the mistakes she had regretted back then, like a fool.
And once again, it almost got to a point of no return.
By some stroke of luck, Lee Ha-yul had somehow survived. Fortunately, he was definitely breathing, snug in her arms.
Atra pushed herself up, being cautious not to disturb Lee Ha-yul who was nestled against her.
He flinched at her sudden movement, snuggling deeper into her.
A warm breath brushed against her chest.
“Eek…”
The unfamiliar sensation made her shoulders tense up.
Giving warmth was something she had somewhat gotten accustomed to, but these breaths against her body? That was a whole different story.
Atra steadied her trembling body.
Once the shivering subsided, she let out yet another deep sigh.
Thinking she could somehow pull away while calming down the whimpering Lee Ha-yul, she repositioned herself.
She turned Lee Ha-yul around, supporting his back with one hand.
With the other hand, she picked up a spoon sitting nearby.
It was porridge and tableware left behind by a healer with a peculiar gaze.
She scooped some porridge with the spoon. After checking the temperature, she guided the spoon to Lee Ha-yul’s lips.
“Ah…”
Lee Ha-yul was currently pretty immobile. Most of all, one of his arms was gone, and the only fine one left was wrapped in a thick cast, making it impossible for him to move properly.
In other words, he was a patient who needed someone to assist him.
The sudden change in position left Lee Ha-yul puzzled as his nose twitched.
When she tapped his lips with the spoon, he finally opened his small mouth.
As the spoon entered, his mouth closed tightly.
While Atra watched him gumming the spoon for a moment, she pulled it out.
The remnants of the porridge had long disappeared. Without saying a word, Atra fed him once more.
This had already become quite the routine.
The porridge disappeared in an instant.
It was her first time caring for a sick person, but it wasn’t that difficult. The truly tricky parts were handled by the magical and resident healers.
All Atra had to do was feed Lee Ha-yul porridge, coax him into taking his medication when he refused, and, as he grew warm and drowsy, pat his back to lull him to sleep.
Looking at it this way, it was just like caring for a baby. The actions and appearances were identical.
This was a stark contrast to the usual Lee Ha-yul. The Lee Ha-yul she knew would not have acted this childish or whiny.
But understanding what Lee Ha-yul had gone through made it all the more reasonable.
He was a child who had never experienced real combat, suddenly trying to stand against monsters to save people in an isolated space.
How many times had he faced death in that process? Every time an attack came, death must have brushed past him.
Towards the end, he was truly hovering at the edge… it was no surprise that he carried deep trauma.
This could affect his future as a hero. The past experiences of weakness often follow and impede one’s growth.
‘…In that case, I should probably bring him to my place.’
Would Lee Ha-yul continue to attend Shio-ram? Maybe once he recovers his mind, he would whimper and say he didn’t want to go.
In such a case, Atra thought she would keep him with her.
Though she hadn’t quite retired, that could wait until she went to the association to sign her retirement papers. The money she had saved up was more than enough.
Even living with just Lee Ha-yul, she could easily laze around for the rest of her life.
Feeling a strange sense of connection, Atra offered the spoon once more.
*
It was pitch black. Total darkness engulfed her.
She hadn’t used the powers of observation. The powers of space were the same.
Whenever she tried to use them, her head throbbed sharply.
It was probably a side effect of having overused her self-aware powers, and it might also stem from the fact that both her circuits and core were injured.
Powers. Not her inherent abilities, but those bestowed from the outside.
Typically, these were rights granted upon conquering the tower and attaining recognition as a tower master.
So why did she possess them? Why did she have the powers of space and observation?
‘Ah.’
Her head hurt. She didn’t want to think…
She cut off the line of thought that had sprung up unbidden. Right now, she wanted to think about nothing.
She pressed herself firmly into Professor Atra’s embrace.
The soft, squishy feeling enveloped her body.
The warm body heat unique to people vibrantly transmitted through the fabric.
Especially the warmth and gentle touch felt on her face was incredibly comforting and pleasant.
Perhaps due to her injuries, her sensations were relatively dulled, but it still felt nice.
‘Nice…’
She cleared her mind. Her thoughts connected simply.
It felt warm. It was soft, and she liked the feeling of being petted on the head and having her back stroked.
She just felt good.
She postponed thinking for later. After all, right now, her body ached like it might be torn apart, and her head felt like it could split.
She just wanted to stay like this until she fully recovered.
*
[Player Compensation System: Affection Level]
Lee Ha-yul → Atra Clyde
●●●●●●○○○○ (65/100)
“Affection” “Fear” “Expectation” “Concern”
▼ Dramatic Change ▼
Lee Ha-yul → Atra Clyde
●●●●●●●○○○ (65▷70/100)
“Adult” “Protector” “Expectation” “Safety” “Craving Affection”
…
●●●●●●●○○○ (70▷71/100)
…
●●●●●●●○○○ (71▷72/100)
…
●●●●●●●○○○ (72▷73/100)
…
[Conditions for lifting the “Curse of Silence” not met]
[Conditions for lifting the “Curse of Loneliness” not met]