I Broke Off My Engagement and Got a Job at the Academy

15 – The Path Forward

Since then, I continued to stay in Cerys’s mansion.

My fingers were empty, and nothing had really changed.

Cerys still treated me kindly and affectionately, and I no longer worried about the immediate future.

But, was this truly the end?

Unresolved questions still lingered in my heart.

After parting with Ariel, I didn’t cry or anything.

There was a sense of emptiness in my chest, but my heart had already been riddled with countless holes.

When I saw the servants leaving, when I witnessed my father’s death with my tongue tied, none of it was the hole in my heart.

So, the current life without the need for such worries wasn’t bad.

However, it wasn’t something.

While the emptiness in my chest wouldn’t increase, the situation didn’t get better either.

No pain. No fear. No sadness.

No hope. No progress. No tomorrow.

All that existed was the repetition of day after day.

Is this how it’s supposed to be? I was undoubtedly saved by Cerys. Yet, the pierced hole in my heart showed no signs of improvement.

Everyone must have their own struggles. To maintain life, for the things they want to protect.

However, what am I now? I do nothing.

Entrusted to the hands of others, survival and the future alike, I am merely swept away by the current of time.

Today, once again, I rose from my bed feeling a profound emptiness.

It had been a month since I started living in Ceris’s mansion.

I stepped out of the bedroom. Unfailingly, Ceris was waiting in front of my room.

“Isn’t it tiresome to do this every day?”

I asked, but Ceris just smiled and replied,

“It’s okay. Waiting like this every morning makes my heart flutter.”

She never said things like, “Why are you treating me so well?” Perhaps because she knew it was meaningless.

Ceris treated me with affection and loyalty, yet she never verbalized it. She just smiled it away.

Knowing this, I merely passed the time, receiving something from Ceris.

As usual, Ceris and I had breakfast. Ceris told me the same stories as usual.

It felt like the sense of time was disappearing. After finishing the meal, I retreated to my room again.

And there, I leafed through a book that had already been read to the point of becoming mundane. That was my daily routine.

However, I longed for something to change. I didn’t want to waste time like this.

With that thought in mind, I decided to explore the mansion for a change.

Since Ceris was busy with her duties as a countess after breakfast, there was no one else to accompany me.

So, I moved my body wherever my footsteps led me.

And I found myself stopping in front of the warehouse.

There was a feeling that I had to go inside.

Inside, I discovered something I had forgotten.

“…That.”

Why had I forgotten it?

Why had I lost it?

The birthday gift Arielle gave me. The staff I had never let go of, always at my side, was now visible in the storage.

I reached for it.

Closing my eyes, I drew upon the magic.

The magic within me faithfully obeyed my command above all else.

Even someone like me had something left to do.

Realizing this, I laughed until my breath ran short.

…

Afterward, discreetly, I asked the mansion’s steward for a job, Seris Mor, unaware of my request.

Two conditions. No loyalty to the royal family required, and a position where I could demonstrate my aptitude as a magician.

And, after a few days, what the steward conveyed to me was… a professorship at the Academy.

“You’ve graduated from the Academy, and your grades were excellent. A professorship in the School of Magic recently became vacant.”

I nodded in response to those words.

Later, during dinner, I opened up to Seris.

“I’m thinking of finding a job, taking on a challenge.”

Upon hearing this, Seris, who had been cheerful and chatty, froze as if wondering when that had happened.

“…Really?”

I looked at her and said, “In a few days, I heard that a professorship in the Academy’s School of Magic opened up. Of course, I have no experience, so I’ll probably start as an assistant professor.”

Upon hearing this, Seris bit her lip. Of course, from Seris’s perspective, it wouldn’t be pleasant.

“Why?” She asked me.

I hesitated for a moment before opening my mouth.

“…Because I don’t want to depend on you alone.”

Seris said with a sad face, “I told you. You can do whatever you want here. But, but…”

She bit her lip, then opened her mouth again.

“Why are you trying to leave me again…?”

“I don’t want to leave you.”

“It’s an island. If you go to the academy, we won’t even see each other.”

I remained silent at her words.

“Just, just like this, peacefully… Is that not enough for you!?”

I shook my head.

“No. Maybe you can live peacefully that way. But that’s not what I want.”

“You don’t want it…?”

I nodded. I nodded my head.

“I… I want to confront it. Not with someone else’s hands, but with my own. So, I don’t want to leave forever. I just want to fill the empty hole that still remains in my heart.”

Seris shed tears as she heard my words. However, my determination did not waver.

“I appreciate you. But if I stay by your side like this, I won’t gain anything. I want to become a better person.”

It was only then that Seris realized my resolve was unyielding.

I continued speaking.

“I don’t want to leave you. I… I just can’t be swept away by time like this. I want to find my own path, conquer it myself.”

Seris listened to my words and sighed.

“… I thought I did my best in my own way. But if that’s how you feel, then I’ll let you go. After all, I’m just a passing presence in your life.”

I bit my lip and, with bowed head, said,

“Thank you, truly.”

Seris looked at me.

“Instead, can you promise to write letters?”

I nodded.

…

Ariel sat by the window, gazing at the sky.

It was just the usual night sky, unchanged.

However, for some reason, something seemed different.

Because the starlight that used to weave the sky had disappeared, she wondered if the night sky had always been this dark.

No, there probably wasn’t anything different. If anything had changed, it would be her heart.

She tried her best to ignore it.

Tried to reconcile with herself, saying it was already in the past.

Nevertheless, she had attached a heavy value to her past in her own heart.

Even if she stayed still, memories of the past would suddenly resurface. Even when busy without a moment to spare, his voice would echo in her ears.

She spoke to herself.

“What should I have done?”

To erase her own guilt and shake off the inexplicable feeling in her chest.

“I am now a duchess. My family and the people who follow me are the most important.”

She said that, rationalizing it to herself.

Her actions had to be considered the best, and she had to prioritize those who followed her.

She had to discard assumptions like “what if” and firm up her heart.

But no matter how hard she tried, the indescribable feeling in her chest persisted.

No matter how she thought about what she should have done, the answer didn’t come.

When she closed her eyes, the last face she saw came to mind. Those sad eyes, tight lips, and the unknown silence. It kept coming back.

Ariel tightly closed her eyes.

Yet, for some reason, a sense of emptiness in her fingers seemed to come through. The finger where the engagement ring used to be.

…

The cold dawn air was felt. Now, the streets were gradually waking up.

I gazed at the sea, which had begun to dawn. In the sight of the dark sky clearing, a laugh escaped me unintentionally.

Let’s check the time; it was almost time to leave. Kids selling newspapers had been running around the streets since early dawn.

I purchased a newspaper and read it. Most of it was about sordid crime stories, but that was enough.

“Interesting.”

I threw away the newspaper I had finished reading and gazed toward the harbor.

A massive island in the middle of the Mediterranean, where the academy was located.

The ship heading there had arrived.

I boarded the ship, now completely immersed in the dawn that was brightly illuminating the world.

The staff in my hand gleamed brilliantly, reflecting the radiance of the dawn.

“Well, well. It’s been a few months since I graduated, and I find myself back here.”

A lot had happened in those few months. I thought about it that way and smiled.