I Can’t Run Away From the Girl Who Saved Me

33 – Family (5)

＊

Something has come.

Sylvia thought so and looked straight into Ash’s face.

No, I didn’t look closely.

It was because if Ash’s face showed irritation towards Sylvia, he would not be able to bear it with anxiety.

Fortunately, the light from the flickering candles shook Ash’s face, making it difficult to read his expression properly.

Sylvia slowly closed her eyes.

Ash said while quietly pouring water into Sylvia’s glass.

“Do you know what I am talking about?”

Sylvia quietly nodded her head instead of answering.

Ash sighed through his nose as he looked at Sylvia’s face.

“Why are you so frozen?”

“…”

“Sylvia-san’s behavior over the past few days… You know I don’t like it.”

“… huh,”

She had no choice but to answer Ash’s question without any resistance.

It was a strange feeling.

Sylvia could have overturned this table right now, if she wanted to, and put Ash on the shoulder and knocked him to the floor.

In fact, Ash could be subdued with a single finger, so if he really simply wanted him not to leave, there were plenty of options Sylvia could take.

But for some reason, Sylvia had a bizarre anxiety and certainty that if Ash did not choose to stay by her side of her own will, all of this would be nothing more than an illusion.

It seemed that no matter how hard I tried to hold him back, he would always leave me when he wanted to.

The basis for Sylvia’s confidence is probably the appearance of Ash the day she first arrived at the cabin.

Sylvia clearly saw his willpower to walk that long distance with a dying body that seemed unable to walk.

Even on the day when he, a wizard who had only studied theory-oriented and had no practical sense or talent, was able to surprise Sylvia with only one week of training, we could see a glimpse of his tremendous willpower.

Although weak in heart and weak in power, Sylvia thought Ash’s burning will was his true talent.

If Ash really wanted to, he would have left me somehow.

Even if Sylvia cuts off his leg, he will use all means to disappear.

So, she was worried.

When all methods don’t work, should I keep him by my side, even if I somehow break and break Ash’s mind and body trying to leave him?

She could have done that, but for some reason she didn’t want to.

During the test, the feeling I felt that day when I almost hurt Ash without realizing it.

anxiety, fear, regret

The despair of having to go back to that time when no one is there and no one is looking for it.

I didn’t want to feel that feeling again.

However, wouldn’t that moment eventually come after Ash left?

Sylvia breathed quietly in the confusion.

“I want to ask you this first.”

“…”

“Did you imitate the story of my family?”

“…huh,”

Sylvia felt her face heat up.

To be honest, I thought I would notice it right away, but judging by Ash’s way of asking questions, it seems that he probably didn’t know, but only noticed it today.

Then what the hell did you think Sylvia was doing?

He hoped that he would remember the warmth of his family’s arms and at the same time forget about them and think of Sylvia, but was he just feeling confused by Sylvia’s sudden change of attitude?

Sylvia felt ashamed of what she had done and wanted to die.

Ash said scratching his head.

“Uh… that’s right…”

“how was it?”

Sylvia asked awkwardly.

I knew he didn’t like it very much, but I had a little silly hope that he wouldn’t have been a little pleased.

I wonder if Ash thought of me as a family member.

Would you consider this cabin a home?

I wonder if it came to be considered a place I always wanted to return to, rather than a place I was confined to because of a curse.

“…uh, um… I was surprised.”

Ash’s answer was relentless.

Of course, Sylvia knew that he had chosen words that were as moderate and modest as possible.

There’s no way Ash can’t speak without understanding the other person’s feelings＞

However, Sylvia herself knew best that the emotions Ash felt upon seeing Sylvia’s eccentricities were more than mere amazement.

“under,”

Sylvia let out a short sneer once, bordering on a sigh.

Ash asked cautiously, slowly spooning the food on his plate.

“May I ask why?”

“…”

Sylvia held up the spoon, but couldn’t bear to bring it to the food and was frozen.

Ash, too, accidentally dropped food on the spoon and rummaged through it again, but did not bring it to his mouth.

Only the dry sound of cutlery rattling was resounding in the cabin.

Sylvia began to speak slowly.

“…ash.”

“…yes.”

Sylvia sighed a little.

Maybe I’ve been doing stupid things all this time.

It would have been better if I had asked him directly.

Maybe Ash already considers me family.

Sylvia asked cautiously.

“Ash, do you consider me… family?”

“uh? no,”

Ash responded quickly.

＊

Sylvia said something incomprehensible.

It was so out of the blue that I responded reflexively without even realizing it.

It took less than a second to realize that it was a mistake.

Sylvia’s expression was literally falling apart.

“Miss Sylvia?”

“…”

Sylvia-san lowered her head.

It didn’t look like he was going to apologize.

It looked as if it had lost all its strength to support its head, and the neck of a doll thrown away after being played with by children was drooping.

I immediately added a comment, wondering if my words were insufficiently explained.

“Sylvia… is a warrior. How can someone be so great?”

“ash.”

“…yes?”

Sylvia cut me off and was quietly catching her breath.

I felt the atmosphere similar to when she exhaled life in the past.

However, I didn’t feel goosebumps running through my body, or the sensation of being enveloped in a swirling cold air like that time.

Rather, Mr. Sylvia asked softly with a slightly watery voice.

Still, she had her head down on the floor.

“What do you think of family?”

“…yes?”

“How do I become a family?”

“…”

“I do not know. It was because I didn’t know, I didn’t know how to become a family… I’ve never had a family.”

“…Ah, Mr. Sylvia…”

“…”

I closed my mouth.

How to become a family.

I never imagined that Mr. Sylvia would be thinking like that.

I didn’t know that there was such a meaning in the strange behavior she was doing.

Did she want to be a family?

Was it because I wanted to be a family with me, so I followed the image of my family in my story?

Her clumsy eccentricities happened because she wanted a family.

I was a little surprised by her confession that I had never had a family.

Well, it made sense since I had never heard of her childhood.

I knew that the hero Sylvia came from a famous aristocratic family, but it seemed that I was misunderstanding or had a different story that I didn’t know about.

But honestly, it was also true that it felt a bit out of the blue.

family? Why?

Of course, it is true that the warmth of family is a great driving force and comfort for people to live, but I thought that it was a meaningless story for us, who have to avoid meeting others as much as possible anyway.

I asked, feeling a little bewildered.

“A family…?”

“…huh.”

“suddenly?”

“Otherwise you…”

“What am I…?”

“…”

“Miss Sylvia?”

“…no.”

Sylvia raised her head slowly and then shut her mouth again.

It was hidden from view by her hair.

It was difficult to make out the details of her expression in this darkness, where she could only rely on candlelight to see.

what did she want to say?

Did she want to hear that I belonged to her family?

Am I family with her?

I could tell you it wasn’t.

In the first place, the fact that he still refers to her as ‘Mr.

But is it that important?

“We’re still going to live together anyway.”

“But, someday…”

“…someday?”

“…”

Sylvia bit her lower lip with her front teeth.

The words I want to say seem to linger in my mouth.

Am I confused?

I too was confused.

what is she thinking?

what do you want

What are you afraid of?

“Would you like to be a family with me?”

“…what should I do to become a family.”

“Uh… a couple’s bond or a blood relationship?”

“…”

“…”

Oh no,

When I said that they were a couple, the atmosphere became strange.

I hastily made excuses.

“Ah, no, I don’t mean to look at Sylvia-san that way.”

“…ha ha ha.”

“… uh, uh… of course, Mr. Sylvia is very attractive…”

“… Huh, no. ash.”

She cut me off harshly.

Then he sighed slowly in a muffled voice.

“I’m sorry until now. I won’t do that in the future.”

After saying that, Sylvia-san slowly rose from her seat.

“Sylvia-san, for dinner…”

“I don’t really want to eat. Sorry.”

“Ah… that goose…”

“Sorry to fix it tomorrow, I’m a little tired.”

Something seemed to have greatly offended her.

I felt like I couldn’t let her go like this.

I unknowingly grabbed Sylvia-san’s arm and said.

“That… even if it’s not a family in the dictionary definition, it can be a family.”

“ash. It’s okay if you don’t…”

“No, no, that… you know. Although they don’t mix blood, there are a lot of people who come together as a family because of trust in each other or something…

“What do you want to say?”

At my gibberish, Silvia asked coldly.

Rather than speaking hastily, I slowly began to organize my thoughts in my head.

Is it family simply because they share blood?

No, rather, couples should not become husband and wife as long as they share blood.

If so, what are the conditions for the couple?

It’s about loving and trusting each other.

And parents will love and trust their children, and children will love and trust their parents.

In other words, isn’t that feeling towards each other the true meaning of family?

Even if blood is shared, it may not be considered a proper family if there is a lack of devotion and trust between parents and children, brothers and sisters.

After all, a family can be said to be a group of people who love and trust each other.

I told Silvia-san what came to my mind.

“A family is, after all, a gathering of people who love and trust each other.”

“… trust?”

“Wasn’t Sylvia the same relationship with your colleagues?”

“… what?”

Silvia-san stood tall.

Then he quietly looked down at me.

ah,

All of her colleagues are dead.

like my family

asshole.

“…that. sorry.”

“ash.”

“…yes.”

“My colleagues are all precious ties and friends. Together we risked our lives to travel, and lost our lives to achieve our goals. Yes, I trusted them, and they would have trusted me too.”

“… Yes, as a citizen of the kingdom, I really appreciate and respect…”

“But, those guys weren’t my family.”

“…”

“It shouldn’t be. because.”

“…Sylvia-san?”

“I am… then not a friend, colleague… not…”

“…ah,”

“You’re leaving your family to die…”

tuk tuk,

The sound of tears falling like drops of blood could be heard on the floor.

Sylvia’s voice trembled thinly like a piano string.

Her voice was so painful and weak that even her sturdy body felt like it would shatter if touched.

Sylvia said she never had a family.

I don’t know much about her past, but she wouldn’t lie to me, so it must be true.

But, obviously, she had people like her family.

and lost them all

Perhaps saying that she had no family was a pathetic struggle to alleviate as much guilt as possible for causing them to die.

I made a mistake.

It’s such a big mistake.

It was the kind of mistake I shouldn’t have made, knowing the loss all too well.

I got up slowly and hugged her.

“sorry. I made a mistake.”

I sincerely apologized and hugged Silvia-san tightly.

Even if I hug her with all my might, she won’t hurt or hurt.

I pulled her into my arms with all my might and hugged her tightly, as if I were really squeezing her back.

“sorry.”

Silvia silently buried her face in my shoulder slowly.

Are you trying to smell it again?

If she calmed down, I would have given her the nape of my neck.

But she didn’t.

It was just that my shoulder was soaked with hot liquid.

I hugged her tighter.

Sylvia said in a watery voice.

“I’m sorry for acting strangely.”

“I’m sorry for being insensitive.”

“I did it because I wanted to be a family with you. I wanted it to feel like home instead of feeling like you were trapped here.”

“Except for sleeping in the living room, this is already our house.”

“I said I’m not a family member.”

“…Family doesn’t turn out to be such a bizarre play.”

“…that was bizarre.”

“Honestly, I was cold.”

“…okay.”

Sylvia-san also slowly raised her hand and hugged my back.

Unlike mine, her arms held me softly and snugly as if they were holding me.

“How would you like to be a family?”

“I don’t know either… But if we share the same experiences and feel the same things at the same time and in the same space, wouldn’t we become a family?”

“…okay?”

“to be honest. It’s only been a little over a month now. And even then, almost a third of them passed out.”

“…”

“Right now, it’s actually difficult to adapt.”

“It’s hard to live in the woods, isn’t it?”

“no. It was difficult to accept that all my family members had died.”

“… Yes, it’s difficult. that…”

I slowly raised my hand to her hair and ran it carefully through her hair.

Sylvia was about the same height as me, taller and stronger than I was, but for some reason she felt very small now.

He looked a hundred times weaker and cuter now than when he was holding a pillow and talking nonsense about being afraid of lightning.

Suddenly, he remembered how she had strangled herself in her sleep not long ago.

It crossed my mind that maybe today she might have nightmares about colleagues who died because of me.

I turned my face very little.

Her ears were right near the corner of my mouth.

I tucked her hair to reveal her pretty ears.

Then, very quietly, as if telling a secret story, he whispered.

“Do you want to sleep with me today?”

she nodded quietly.

Her arms around my waist were getting a little stronger.

.