I Can’t Run Away From the Girl Who Saved Me

68 – Sign (1)

＊

I sat there for a long time, staring at the coffin she had made, as if she were nailed to the spot, without daring to get close.

There wasn’t the slightest movement, and I couldn’t even say anything.

No matter how little experience you have or how shallow your thoughts are.

How could I have never thought about coffins until now?

If I were to make a little excuse for myself, I would say that I had so much going on that I couldn’t pay attention to the details.

Lila, is her sister only that good to me?

My petty excuse was immediately refuted by myself.

A ten-year-old girl whom I could not protect.

For almost three months, she was buried in the dirt without a coffin to cover her body.

“…Ash, are you okay?”

“…Ha.”

When I couldn’t reply, Sylvia walked straight up to me, knelt down on her knees and hugged my head.

“… It’s not your fault.”

“…hahahaha.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Ha… Billion,”

I leaned my head on her shoulder and cried.

Silvia seemed like she wanted to say something, she pursed her lips a few times, but in the end she didn’t say anything.

Without saying a word, she just gently pressed my head and offered her shoulder.

I was struggling to swallow the sobs that escaped between my clenched lips, moistening her shoulders with my hot tears.

Every time my shoulders moved up and down, she hugged me tighter.

“So… You’re such an ugly oppa… I’m so sorry…”

“…Ash.”

While Lila was carving her headstone, she seduced me, who had vowed to be abstinent, and ended up having a relationship with her. I wonder if it bothers her too.

Or did she think that I would blame her now?

Sylvia only called my name in a pitiful voice, but she did not hastily attempt to comfort me any further.

“…Silvia.”

“Yes,”

“Please… hug me… more…”

I didn’t want to blame her.

Sylvia didn’t force herself on me, so she had no cause to blame.

It was definitely a bit coercive, and there was probably no way for me to avoid her desire-filled touch in that situation, but it was an undeniable fact that I also enjoyed s*x with her. I had no right to come and curse at her.

If you had a conscience, you shouldn’t have done that.

Now that it has already been more than three months since I spent time with Sylvia, looking back, there were so many events in that short period of time, and during that time, her appearance in my eyes also changed moment by moment.

A warrior, a housemate, and a lover.

So there were times when I forgot,

She was me and Laila’s benefactor.

Especially to me, and indeed to everyone in this world, it was as if she was indebted to her.

So the only person I could blame for Lila was me.

“Silvia…”

“…Yes,”

Even when I called her name, I couldn’t find anything to say so I shut her up.

It’s okay, thank you, sorry.

No words could fully explain my feelings right now.

That’s why I hugged Sylvia’s back tightly and snuggled into her arms.

Sometimes actions are a more effective means of communication than words.

Sylvia seemed to have sensed my feelings, and without saying anything, she gave even more strength to her arms around me.

After leaning in her arms for a while and swallowing her cries, I slowly turned my head and looked down at Laila’s tombstone that I had completed.

Her name and dates were engraved on the neatly carved, square tombstone, just as they were written on the tombstone, and behind her name was the handkerchief I had placed.

I said her name again in a trembling voice.

“Mr. Sylvia.”

Sylvia looked at me without asking anything.

Are you being careful that even asking a question might seem like you are urging an answer?

I was able to see once again how much she cared for me.

Because of that kind of person, Sylvia, I was able to promise myself that I would reveal the truth that had been hidden for so long.

“…I have something to tell you.”

Underneath the handkerchief placed on Laila’s headstone, there were a few more letters engraved that were not on the grave marker.

Me and Lila’s, our family’s last name.

This was the letter that was eventually engraved after much thought while carving the tombstone, or even before that.

Staff.

Sylvia will soon be able to figure out what the last name means.

I know that Ash is Maria’s younger brother.

It was a fact that I had kept hidden from Sylvia, who was Maria’s older sister’s colleague, for fear of causing her guilt and hurt, but I could sense that now was the time to reveal it.

Of course she would be shocked.

He may be consumed by her sadness and guilt, suffering from her nightmares again and strangling himself.

But now Sylvia had me.

I wasn’t going to let her break down, and I wasn’t going to let her feel guilty about me.

Even when Sylvia is sad or suffering, I will always and forever be by her side.

I was confident that Sylvia would now firmly believe that I would be with her in her future.

That confidence was embedded in the final, decisive step of my decision to engrave this name.

As I took a deep breath and gently pushed her body away with her gentle touch, Sylvia let me go without resisting.

I slowly got out of her arms, knelt down on one knee in front of her on the floor, and placed my hand on her handkerchief that covered her last name.

Sylvia had a puzzled look on her face as she didn’t know what I was trying to do.

I lifted the handkerchief.

“Laila Staff”

I slowly recited the name engraved on the tombstone.

Sylvia slowly sang along with the last name.

“Staff…”

“…Yes,”

“…”

“And Sylvia… My name is…”

“…Ah,”

“My real name is Ash Staff.”

＊

“My real name is Ash Staff.”

Ash spoke solemnly in a still wet voice, but looked up at Sylvia with a worried expression that did not match his voice at all.

Sylvia was lost in her thoughts as she looked at Ash like that.

I already knew what he was trying to say.

He revealed that he was Maria’s younger brother.

Since I already knew this from the documents found on the corpses of priests of the Goddess Church, there was no particular surprise.

Rather, Sylvia was more surprised that he revealed this fact.

Wasn’t the reason Ash kept her story about Maria secret out of consideration for Sylvia?

But why did he reveal that fact now?

He must be pouring out criticism and regret toward Laila’s death, and toward himself for not being able to prepare for her death or give her an elaborate funeral.

And why did he, who broke down in anger over this entire situation and burst into tears he had been holding back in my arms, reveal that fact to me now?

Sylvia looked down at Ash in silence.

“Silvia… Are you okay?”

“…Huh?”

“I didn’t say anything…”

“Ah… Yes, it’s okay…”

Ash was surprised by Sylvia’s reaction, which was calmer than she expected.

Did you not realize what the last name “Staff” Meant?

Can’t you remember my sister’s name?

Considering how many times her name Maria appeared in her stories, it seemed unlikely, but Ash slowly moved her lips, just in case.

“I am… Maria’s younger brother.”

“…Ah,”

As an exclamation of realization escaped from Sylvia’s lips, Ash hurriedly poured out her words.

“Don’t worry. “I’m not blaming Sylvia.”

“…”

“…I’m sorry for hiding it for so long. “I should have said this a long time ago, but then…”

Ash paused her words for a moment.

No matter how close I became to Sylvia, I couldn’t say out loud in front of her, ‘I was reluctant to talk to you because you seemed so unstable.’

After Sylvia stopped speaking with a short exclamation of “Ah,” She completely froze.

Maybe she wasn’t reacting calmly, but was so shocked that she couldn’t even react.

After thinking that, Ash slowly got up and approached Sylvia.

She gently placed her hand on Sylvia’s cheek, then moved it past her ear to the back of her head.

Ash said as he carefully hugged Sylvia’s neck.

“I am happy thanks to Sylvia. So don’t feel too guilty about me.”

“Ah”

Ah.

I see.

Ash… You idiot.

Sylvia still didn’t know exactly why Ash suddenly revealed that fact, but she was certain when she saw his expression on her face.

Just as the reason Ash had hidden the truth about her Maria was out of consideration for Sylvia, the reason she revealed this now was also because she was sure it was out of consideration for herself.

At the end of that straight line of confidence, guilt and loveliness flooded out.

Sylvia said, lowering her head.

“…I’m sorry.”

“No… There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

Ash was now worried about Sylvia.

“Why isn’t there…”

I don’t know anything,

Like a fool.

.