I Decided to Become a Perfect Girl

[Do-hee, are you ready?]

Of course, I’m always perfectly prepared.

Even if I just woke up, I could hit the stage like a pro.

“But today, it feels like I didn’t sleep enough, and my brain isn’t really working─.”

But a little excuse will do…

[Ah, there she goes again, laying the groundwork.]

“Huh…”

It’s not easy, Jeon Ha-rang.

This unni really knows me well…

[You’re trying to mess up on purpose, aren’t you? Ha.]

“Me?”

Now what’s this?

“Is it me?”

[Hey Jeon Ha-rang! Why are you suddenly picking on Do-hee? We’ve got our breakfast and snacks right now, huh?!]

[No way, unni, she’s totally the type to do that! You don’t know her?]

I really have no idea what kind of person they think I am to make such assumptions.

My playful side is just the right amount.

I’m a hundred times more serious than that.

What’s the point of deliberately messing things up?

[Do-hee is really the type to suddenly boost her appetite if I can’t eat, and then she does a mukbang right in front of me.]

Well, that’s true.

But that’s just part of our Topist members’ traditional culture…

[And it’s strange that she can’t get a trivia quiz right.]

“Huh?”

[You all know, right? She actually ranks first in school.]

Okay, I’ll take that for now.

Keep going, Ha-rang unni.

[She’s really diligent—she reads so many books.]

Oh, that’s oddly pleasing to hear, haha.

[There was that one time…]

Yeah, unni, that’s good! More! More!

[Hey, Ha-rang, stop putting pressure on her or she might really mess up!]

[Right, answering in five seconds is a different story!]

…I was feeling pretty good for a while there.

[Do-hee, don’t feel pressured by Ha-rang at all, okay? Just relax~?]

“Yes, relax.”

Well, Ha-rang unni didn’t completely miss the mark.

It was true that I made a weak comment.

[Fighting!]

However, I absolutely won’t plan to mess up on purpose.

Still holding onto my number one in school status.

Accusations of manipulation and cheating just from one time—why should I give them something to chew on?

“I could post a photo of my report card from home, but no one would believe it anyway.”

Might as well get it right. And I somewhat hope that Ha-rang unni eats well today too.

[By the way, Do-hee is famous for being good at studying, right?]

I just hope the PD will give a quiz that’s a reasonable challenge within the realm of common knowledge.

[Don’t worry! I’ve prepared questions that are very easy, even for our Mission Planet members!]

Hmm…

[Alright, you just have to answer within five seconds. Here comes the first question.]

I wonder what will come up.

[The official name of this city is Krung Thep Maha Nakhon. This is where we are right now.]

Huh.

[Whaaat?]

[PD-nim!]

What is this now?

[Yes, what is the capital of Thailand?]

I feel a little nervous, for some reason.

“Answer: Bangkok.”

[Correct!]

The reason for this quiz must really be for boosting ratings…?

[Yay~ Just two more correct answers, and the mission succeeds!]

[But Hyung Byeong-hoon seems to be favoring the external guest again, huh?]

[When have I ever been two-faced? I said we’d start with very easy questions, didn’t I?]

[Yay, Hyung Byeong-hoon is the best!]

Of course, the voices of the cast across from me were all cheerful, given the elementary school-level quiz.

[Do-hee, you’re not too shocked because it’s too easy, right?]

From my perspective, it’s a bit deflating, but I get it.

“Well, PD Byeong-hoon seems to be considerate. Since it’s a guest appearance, and the cast needs to eat to get through today’s schedule.”
“Well, there’s the guest’s face to consider… and the cast needs to eat to get through today’s schedule.”

“Yes, yes.”

[Alright, let’s move on to the second question. The national bird of New Zealand, the kiwi, is a flightless bird, and this is said to be because there are no land predators in New Zealand.]

“Hmm?”

Just the feel of it seems to indicate that the difficulty level is definitely different from before.

[In fact, next door in Australia, there are around 140 species of this animal, but there are none in New Zealand. So, the New Zealand government has strictly prohibited the importation of this predator in order to protect the natural ecosystem. This animal can’t even be found in New Zealand zoos. What could this animal be?]

And sure enough, as soon as the PD finished reading the question, the cast started protesting.

[Oh, PD, this is suddenly too hard!]

[Come on, PD!]

It’s clear that this is a bit different from just simple capital questions.

[Alright! You need to answer quickly! 5…!]

But it was a question I actually knew.

“The answer is snake.”

[…Huh? Oh, correct! How did you know?]

It seems like the production staff intended for this to be a trick question.

I thought there might not be many people who knew.

“I think I heard that Hawaii, Guam, and Saipan also had no snakes, but they were introduced through pets or something.”

[Wow… as expected. Okay! Let’s move on to the third question. If you get it right, the Ha-rang team will succeed in the mission, right?]

[Wow, look at Hyung Byeong-hoon’s eyes. Suddenly his gaze is weird!]

[Seriously, Hyung, throw an easy one for once! Why are you being so harsh on the guests!]

[That’s right! What do I end up being for calling Do-hee!]

Well, regardless of the ruckus.

Suddenly my throat got dry, so I left the room to pour some juice while waiting for the next quiz.

I don’t eat snacks or ice cream, but I can’t give up on liquid sugar…

[Alright, here’s the question. The only country in the world that prohibits marathons. This country is—.]

“The answer is Iran.”

[……Yes! The country that prohibits marathons is Iran, right? Yes, it’s known to be Iran!]

“Huh?”

What’s this, isn’t this supposed to be a question?

[Yes, that’s right, Do-hee! It is indeed Iran! In reality, this Iran has significant restrictions and investments regarding marathons. Right, Do-hee?]

“…PD?”

[Everyone, stay calm. You need to listen to the question to the end! So~ this Iran also does not hold marathon events at all, but instead, they call it something else. What is this name?]

“……”

Who on earth would know this?

[Hey, how can you change the question halfway through! It’s obvious you changed it!]

[PD, if you’re playing tricks with the mission, your head might just roll off!]

For sure, I could hear the loud complaints, but the PD’s somewhat shameless voice came back.

[Everyone, originally this was the question. Originally.]

It sounds like a complete lie…

I guess this is just the hardships of a variety show PD trying to get their airtime.

[Alright, counting down starts! Ready, go!]

Well, if I can’t figure it out, what can I do?

I just have to answer anything.

[Four!]

Ha, but if it’s a marathon…

[Three!]

It’s the Greco-Persian Wars…

[Two!]

And surely the reason Iran prohibits it has to do with Persia.

Eh, if I get it wrong, I get it wrong…

[One!]

“The answer is Persian Running.”

[What… Huh? What did you say?]

“…? Persian Running.”

[…You need to be very precise with your answer.]

“Precise?”

[Yes, very, very precise.]
“No, then this answer is kind of correct, right?”

“But honestly, if Persian running is kind of correct…”

“Persian…”

gulp

It’s not that Persian is wrong, but obviously, running must be wrong… they wouldn’t call it Dal-li-gi abroad.

“Persian… run?”

“Is that right?”

“…Yes, that’s correct.”

“Wow… I guessed it.”

Then, screams that seemed like they would take my ears off echoed again.

“Do-hee!! My baby! Our pretty one!!”

“Thanks to Do-hee, we both can eat!!”

The Hana team successfully completed the meal mission. If I kept my ears glued to the phone, I felt like I might actually start bleeding from my eardrums.

“Do-hee, let’s fight for the remaining two questions!!”

“I can do it. Aja Aja!”

First, let’s put it on speaker and step back a bit…

Those two speaking gently over there would probably scream if they get the remaining two questions right…

“Jin-hee, choose some harder questions. Okay?”

Meanwhile, the chilly atmosphere from the production staff was clearly showing their presence amid the loud noises.

“But the PD chose them earlier.”

“Right, can you pick something decent?”

For some reason, that star PD certainly feels more present than a celebrity…

“Isn’t there one that obviously looks tough?”

I want to get all of them right if possible.

“Um, PD.”

“Yes?”

“I’m lucky to get them right, so please make it a bit easier, hehe.”

“Uh… Huhaha, yeah, I should do that, right? Definitely, it needs to be easier.”

But did I just make a child-like voice without realizing it? I think a bit of a cute tone slipped out.

“Oh, what cuteness~”

“Sister, our kid was so so cute when she was little. How cute was she?”

Oh man, I’ve been playfully acting cute lately to annoy the sisters, and now it’s backfiring. This is seriously embarrassing.

“PD, um…”

“Jin-hee, isn’t this a bit difficult…?”

“What, weren’t you the one asking for harder ones?”

“That is true…?”

…But the writer or assistant PD next to me is doing a great job. Should I be cute?

Of course, I didn’t act cute.

“Okay, shall we get to the fourth question, Do-hee?”

I just quietly listened to what seemed like a meticulously selected quiz.

“This word originates from the act of medieval European peasants protesting their lord’s unfair treatment by trampling on their harvests with wooden shoes, and it means ‘wooden shoe’ in French.”

But just by hearing it, I feel like I already know.

“Ah.”

“…Are you perhaps already aware of that?”

I just let out a hum unconsciously, but the surprised voice from across made me feel a bit sorry.

“Um, but can I listen to the whole question?”

“…Yes, this term is commonly translated in Korea as work slowdown or sabotage. What is this term?”

Ah, I guessed it right.

“The answer is sabotage.”

Then the PD sighed for another long moment.

“…Yes, that’s correct.”

But I may not be fluent in French, but I know how to do it. Didn’t you know that?

I’ve even made the news with it. Well, more people will know now, so that’s good…

“I was originally planning to give two wrong answers and then a simple last question… You’re really good at this.”

“Hehe… Thank you.”

But now, please give me the last question.

It’s quite fun to guess the answers.

“The last question is… I’ll give you a scientific knowledge question.”
“Ah, science.”

[Um… is this your weakness?]

“Excuse me?”

[Well, I mean, it’s tough to have scientific knowledge in an artistic career. I should have gone this route from the start.]

Of course, I’m definitely more oriented towards the humanities.

But my subject for the college entrance exam was actually science…

I chose it because of the high standardized score.

[Ha, thank goodness. We had to actually make an additional segment for snacks in the schedule. So relieved.]

But with this much knowledge, I feel like I should deliberately answer incorrectly. Why is my monologue so sad…?

[Here comes the last question. So, this phenomenon refers to the process where a relatively hot liquid turns into a solid faster than a relatively cold liquid.]

But it feels a bit wrong to get the correct answer wrong.

[Although it’s generally hard to understand, this phenomenon is rare yet observed and is one of the unresolved challenges in physics. What is this phenomenon?]

“Answer: Mpemba.”

[Mpemba?]

Oh, I blurted out a soccer player’s name without realizing it. I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t even read soccer articles, so why did it pop into my head?

“No, no, it’s the Mpemba effect!”

[Ah, the Mpemba effect.]

Then came the Director’s pained voice.

[…Yes, that’s correct.]

Of course, the contestants were in a party atmosphere. They praised me to the point where I felt embarrassed.

[Oh wow, totally a brainy girl!]

[I bought Do-hee’s last Debonaire album, by the way!]

Ah right, the album.

“Director, do you know when this broadcast will air?”

[…I think it’ll be out at the end of January.]

Oh, that means it’ll come out during Ha-rang Unni’s debut activities.

But since we’re making our comeback in February…

“Can I do a little promotion?”

Before the Director even granted permission, the contestants started giving their own consent.

[Sure, go for it!]

[Do whatever you want!]

Except for Ha-rang Unni.

[Ugh, I’m against it. Aren’t we rivals, Do-hee?]

This unni just finds the entertainment fun, but I’m here to promote my debut!

“But I’m not overlapping with your activities.”

[Oh, really? But you didn’t even tell me your comeback date from the start.]

Whatever, I just need to promote a little.

“Well, it’s nothing much. We’re making our comeback in mid-February, and I hope you’ll show us a lot of interest.”

Actually, the comeback date is confidential, but since it’s January’s broadcast, it’s perfect timing, and the Director will appreciate my work.

[I’ll definitely listen to the new song when it comes out!]

[I thought your year-end stage was super amazing!]

The only unfortunate thing is how the Director looked like he was gritting his teeth trying to take some portion away in this cheerful atmosphere.

[Do-hee, I’ll prepare harder quizzes next time, so you have to come on again, okay?]

“Oh, really? Sounds great!”

[Absolutely!]

Of course, I’d only go on as part of a group.

I have no plans to go on entertainment shows alone this year.

“Well, enjoy your meal~”

After that, I threw in some half-hearted goodbyes, some “thank yous,” and “fighting for Ha-rang Unni’s debut,” before hanging up the phone.

“Ahh…”

As silence returned, it felt strangely lonely.

Being alone is so… lonely…

“Oh right. Seo-yoon Unni threatened me to wake me up yesterday.”

─Knock knock

“Unni, are you sleeping?”

Since there was no reply, I opened the door and walked in.

Even though she locked the door, it’s a structure that can simply be poked open with chopsticks.

I see Seo-yoon Unni sleeping soundly in the perfect princess position.

Strangely, this is more amusing than when I got the quiz right.

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