I didn’t ask to be the Demon Queen

Chapter 23: Metagaming



Daniel walked in, slightly out of breath. Eliza turned her head, not wanting to look away from the stove for too long, saw him panting by the front door, and rolled her eyes. 

 

“You need to stop running home from work, you... “ she sighed. “You get enough of a workout there as it is. As much as I appreciate you working up an appetite--”

 

Her tirade was interrupted by the look in his eyes. 

 

“What’s wrong, Daniel?”

 

He held up a small box, no bigger than a small book. 

 

“Do you know what this is?” he said, in between heavy breaths. She shook her head. He explained. 

 

In his difficulty finding work, he’d spent more and more time at the gym, and apparently his regimen, determination and technique had been so good, they’d offered him a position as an instructor. Over a period of weeks, he’d slowly been offered more hours until he’d basically become an official full-time employee. There was something deeply rewarding, to him, about being able to train others in both certain martial techniques as well as simple physical exercise, knowing that these people wouldn’t use that training to kill, or be killed. These weren’t soldiers, simply people trying to improve their health. And apparently he’d had a very positive influence, filling his clients with an infectious energy that kept them coming back. He’d become very good at it, and he was proud of it. 

 

The fact that he’d been allowed to start hormones -- him and Eliza both -- had been a huge boost to his energy and confidence as well. Not to mention his muscle growth. He’d gotten so strong, even Eliza had been impressed. She’d whistled a few times when he walked past, and he pretended not to like it. So every day he walked home and had to keep himself from running to work off what felt like excess energy. Until today. Today, he’d walked home and, as he passed by a store, he heard a musical theme he hadn’t heard since he’d come to this world. One he’d heard before that. He’d inquired inside, bought the offending product, and had then sprinted home.

 

“We’re from a video game?!” Eliza yelled, and grabbed the box. “Deluxe Edition”, the box advertised. “Includes the Lair of the Dragon Queen DLC”. Underneath the title, in perfect detail, were renditions of Daniel and Eliza, as they looked just months ago, clashing dramatically. 

 

“What in the hells?” she muttered as she looked at the box, and then at the back. “This description is… Oh that’s just mean!” Daniel took it out of her hands and walked to the computer with determination. It was only because she stood there for a moment, a little sheepishly, that Eliza remembered to run back to the stove, before food got burnt. 

 

---

 

“Eliza! Come look!”

 

“I can’t! Food’s going to burn!”

 

“But it’s how we met!”

 

“Fine! One moment!” she yelled back. After a second, skillets off the fire, she walked into the room and looked at the screen. In a rendered video, they saw Daniel attack the Demon Dragon Queen, ready to vanquish this new threat before it had even begun and then… a flash. Both the hero and Eliza fell to the floor. Tybalt and Sabine both rushed forward, and the player could pick one to hold back.

 

“You have to choose?” Eliza asked. “That seems cruel.”

 

Daniel agreed. “That’s how these games go, I think. Consequences without meaningful choices.” He picked Tybalt on a whim. He’d always been very fond of Sabine, but Tybalt had been with him since the beginning. There was another flash as Sabine was thrown back, and then the teleportation spell John had prepared went off, and they were back in the capital.

 

“That was weird. I don’t remember anything after that first… flash of light.”

 

“That’s what’s strange to you?” Daniel said incredulously. “Not the fact that everything about this is completely accurate to where we come from.”

 

She shook her head. “I don’t know how this is possible, but it’s not the same. The room is different. My clothing was different. It’s close, but it’s not the same.”

 

“Huh.”

 

She went back to the kitchen. When, later, he had to slay Sabine the Lich, he didn’t call her over. He simply did the quest, and then turned off the game and didn’t touch it for a few days. Eliza cheered him up by learning how to make a strawberry cobbler. It was very good. She asked him if he was bored with the game. Because he didn’t want to let her down, he said no, and went back to it. 

 

---

 

“Your commanders are a pain, Eliza!” he said. 

 

“You finally met Otto, I see,” she said with a grin from the couch. “How far into the game do you think you are?”

 

“Don’t know. Still early, I think.”

 

“Kick his ass for me, Daniel,” she said warmly. He smirked.

 

---

 

He tried to focus on the fight, but he kept losing. The wonderful smell coming in from the kitchen wasn’t helping either. He died again, and threw his hands up with a defeated sigh.

 

Eliza walked in with two glasses of wine. 

 

“Still can’t defeat me, can you?” She grinned and handed him a glass. He looked at her and growled. He found it really hard to be mad at her. The hormone replacement therapy had hit her like a truck and they’d found some really good outfits, once she’d been confident enough to actually go out to get them. With his help, she’d lost and gained weight enough to properly redistribute it and if he was honest with himself, she’d started looking, well, cute.

 

“I’ll defeat you some day, Evil Queen.”

 

“You wish, Blight of my Life,” she fired back, and looked over his shoulder. “What are you having trouble with?”

 

“It’s the main fight, honestly. I can block your magic attacks fine, but your melee attacks just do so much damage.”

 

“Show me,” she said, and took a sip of her glass. Daniel clicked Retry, and she observed him for a moment, until the Game Over screen popped up again. 

 

“You’re not observing my patterns, Daniel. It’s Jump-Slash-Slash-Jump-Stab.” 

 

She looked at him sideways. “You need to learn what my weaknesses are, Daniel. I know yours.

 

“Oh?” he said. He raised an eyebrow. She ran off. After a second, she yelled from the kitchen. “Close your eyes!”

 

“You’re not going to try stabbing me again, Eliza. That doesn’t count, everyone’s weakness is being stabbed.”

 

“Close your damned eyes, Daniel, or I swear I’ll shove this somewhere else.”

 

He laughed and did as she asked. After a second, he felt something hot against his lips, and he bit down. 

 

“Oh my God! This is amazing! Eliza?! What is this?!”

 

“Scallops.” She smiled proudly. “Your weakness is my cooking.” She patted him on the shoulder, and sauntered off to the kitchen. “You’ll get it, babe.” 

 

He sat there for a minute. “She called me babe…”

 

A few minutes later, there was a yell Eliza could hear from the kitchen.

 

“You had a dragon form?!” 

 

Eliza sniggered. She didn’t miss her old abilities, much. Being able to withstand pain, heat, it had been great. But life here, weak and fragile, had its upsides. It made her appreciate what she had more. She looked over her shoulder to the living room and smiled to herself. 

 

---

 

“So, what did you think?”

 

Eliza sat on the sofa with her legs crossed, still enjoying the afterglow of dinner. She’d become a very good cook, and it was something she was proud of. She cooked most days, even when she wasn’t the first one home. Besides, she liked Daniel’s compliments. He liked her cooking, probably more than she did. 

 

“A little long at the end. There’s definitely some differences between the game world and ours. I liked Kazumi, though. You should play it,” he said. 

 

“Kazumi was good,” Eliza said wistfully as they sat in the living room, empty plate on the table. “I wonder how she’s doing.” She paused, and looked a little mournful. “I didn’t… treat her the right way.” It had become clear that she regretted the person she’d been. She wasn’t exactly nice these days, but there wasn’t any cruelty to her. Not anymore, at least. 

 

“What’s different, Eliza?”

 

She looked at him like he’d just grown a second head, and then gestured at the apartment that was completely lacking in medieval tapestries, murder holes and suits of armor. “Do you want a list?”

 

“I mean about you. You’re different,” he said, and looked at her, still cleaning up his plate with a piece of bread.

 

She thought about that, drinking another sip of wine. She had changed, and she realized as much herself. There wasn’t the old urge to make smaller creatures submit, for one thing. But it went a bit deeper than that. No more cruelty. Even she felt that. 

 

“There’s an expression I heard at work, the other day.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”

 

“I don’t think I get it.”

 

Eliza sighed. “I used to be a hammer. It was very easy to keep people down. Easier than any other kind of interaction. But here? We’re all… the same size. And people who are smaller… I don’t know. It makes more sense for the bigger ones to… not strike down.”

 

He nodded. “I’m glad to see you like this. You look good.”

 

She kicked him softly. “So do you. But…”

 

“But?” 

 

She grinned. “Don’t look so worried. It’s not about you. No, I mean... “ Deep breath. “I have to go register my name tomorrow.”

 

“Oh, nice!” Daniel said. “I’ve been so caught up in the game, I completely forgot about that! Congratulations, Eliza.”

 

“Well, that’s just it.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I don’t think I want to be Eliza anymore. I… You already said, I’m not that person anymore? Right?”

 

He nodded. She seemed like she needed the encouragement. 

 

“You’re not. Whoever you are now is not the person who declared war on Wydonia. So… what, then?”

 

“I kind of like Lisa.”

 

“Lisa is a good name. Pretty,” he said. ‘Like you’, he didn’t say. He kind of wanted to. He’d always felt like bad people couldn’t be beautiful, that good people couldn’t be ugly. Whoever she’d been once, the person in front of him confirmed his theory. She was quite beautiful. 

 

“Lisa Drake. As a little joke.” They both smiled. 

 

“I’m proud of you then, Lisa Drake. I barely recognize you.”

 

“Good,” she said, and she looked very small. He went over and sat next to her. She was in need of support, and he was glad to give it. “You’re not that person anymore. You’re becoming a good person, Lisa, and I’m happy to be here with you.”

 

She looked up at him. She wasn’t crying. Not quite. Not yet. Not really. Maybe just a little bit. 

 

“Hey.” He touched his glass to hers. “To new beginnings.”

 

They looked each other in the eye. There was a very weird moment. Something hung in the air, and suddenly, without either of them planning anything of the sort, they kissed. 

 

Not a kiss of need or desire or passion. Just a soft, gentle kiss. The whole world fell away until just the two of them existed. This world, the last one, none of them mattered. There was only here, and now, a kiss that took their breath away. 

 

He pulled away. “I’m sorry, I--”

 

“Shut up,” she said and kissed him again. 

 

Somehow, their glasses ended up on the table without shattering, without either of them breaking away. 

 

Daniel straddled her lap and cradled her head in his hands and their lips found each other over and over again. 

 

Suddenly, there was a noise behind them. It was a noise much like someone deflating a balloon in reverse. 

 

“I have a question. What the fuck?”

 

Daniel almost fell off the couch as he rolled off Lisa. They both looked over at the noise.

 

Above the living room table, there was a hole in space. It was mostly circular, and there weren’t so much edges as there was a kind of… gradient, going from the regular world on the outside, to the darkness on the inside. Inside, Lisa and Daniel saw two faces. One of them, they both immediately recognized as Queen Eliza. The other was a smaller figure, a demon girl whose face looked remarkably like Daniel’s new one. She was the one that spoke next. 

 

“I have a follow up question, which is also what the fuck.”


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