I didn’t ask to be the Demon Queen

Chapter 3: Role-Playing Game



I sat in front of the mirror for a little bit after that, making faces. The woman on the other side of the glass could be hot, intimidating, cute or anything in between. It reminded me of the anime girl face rig applications I’d messed around with. After a little while, though, my curiosity got the better of me, and I had to explore my chambers. 

 

The one I was in was clearly both some kind of antechamber. While the walls were stacked high with treasure, it was almost… decorative? There was no way to tell how much treasure there was or make actual use of it. Queen Eliza came off as a bit of a hoarder, I realized. The large mirror was probably to double check if her appearance was to her liking before she went out. It was a beautiful creation, though I had no idea how they’d gotten it into the room, seeing how it was almost as tall as the walls themselves. 

 

I looked around. The room was well lit, through some windows and strategically placed candelabras. I wondered briefly if those gave off more light than perhaps they should. Magic, probably, right? The rules of this place seemed to be a bit different than what I was used to. Exploring the space, I saw the alcoves leading away from this central chamber. I picked one at random, and it led to an armory of sorts. All kinds of weapons and ceremonial armors. Many of them much too small for me. I realized this might be end-game loot for the player character, after defeating the Dragon Queen. The promotional material had promised All New Player HomesTM. Perhaps the Dragon Queen’s castle was one of them.


I didn’t have a lot of interest in the weapons here. They all seemed needlessly aggressive, like whoever wielded them was compensating for something. I’d been a fan of the series, certainly, but my love had always been for either slower or more casual stuff. I didn’t care much for big swords, I played these games for their characters (and sometimes very fleshed-out romance options). Walking past the racks of weapons, I ran my fingers over some of them. Swords of gleaming silver. Some whispered dark secrets when I touched them, offered me stuff, but they seemed to have me mistaken for someone else. The tour of the room was boring, I decided, and saw that there was a door that would lead to one of the other side rooms.

 

Now this was more like it, I thought as the door swung open. I was standing in what might well be the world’s largest walk-in closet. There was another one of those giant mirrors in here, obviously, but except for that one full-length slab of glass, every wall of the room was closets filled with clothes. Having spent enough time playing dress-up games as a kid, it was still a big hobby of mine playing RPG’s, picking the perfect outfit for each situation. This was my kind of armory. Considering the beautiful woman I might get to put these clothes on, this was a dream come true, I thought as I walked past the closets. The Dragon Queen had a lot of outfits. 

 

An unreasonable amount, I realized. Had she enjoyed dressing herself up as much as I would, unlikely as that was? A strange thought. I looked down at myself and realized that, while I was waiting for my generals to assemble… I might as well, right?

 

I stepped off to the side and stripped as quickly as possible as it was to strip off armour. I caught the occasional glimpse of the naked body in the mirror, but I did my best to look away. It wasn’t right to objectify women, I thought. Even though this was my body now, it also kind of wasn’t, and I wanted to treat it with respect. Or something. It was hard to figure out whether this was a woman’s body if it was my body, or if it was me, or if that made me… I shook my head. Focus. Clothes! 


What I’d been wearing had been very functional and martial (the heels excluded, though they hadn’t bothered me much), and I wasn’t sure that was something I wanted to keep associating myself with. The Dragon Queen was very attractive, but she was going to be attractive in jeans and a shirt as much as she was in a corset and heels. I picked out several outfits, organising them left to right for functionality, and then top to bottom according to colours that would go well with my skin tone, in a grid pattern on the ground. I was good at this. Dressing up a beautiful character was one of my favourite pastimes and I’d decided a long time ago that I was going to learn about accenting and dressing well, even if that had gotten me bullied for being too “gay” back in high school. Those skills definitely came in handy now. 

 

Not a lot of what I’d dug out of the closets would be very comfortable. There were a lot of very fancy dresses I was scared to touch, let alone try to hoist myself into. Perhaps I could ask Kazumi’s help some time? She might know about dresses, I realized. Would have to ask her. But there were a few off the shoulder dresses that would work considering my purple skin. I’d also selected the closest thing I could find to jeans -- a pair of red dressage pants, with a set of matching riding boots -- and a large white dress shirt. Something for later? I plopped down on the carpeted floor and for the first time realized what it was like to sit naked on carpet while being, or at least looking like, a woman. 

 

I yelped at the sensation and jumped up, and resigned myself to kneel instead. The carpet wasn’t very soft. I cleared my throat to equally clear my head. It worked a little bit. Which outfit to choose first? I was going to be meeting with my generals soon, so I wanted to look official, but also maybe a little intimidating? Or maybe not? I didn’t immediately remember what they were like. Maybe they’d understand I wasn’t really looking to fight and they’d be less interested in bowing and kowtowing and I’d make some new friends? I could certainly use them!

 

I finally decided on a dress. I wasn’t exactly familiar with wearing them, but perhaps showing up in a shirt and pants for what was, at least, my first meeting with the generals, would be bad form. It was black, with a red and gold trim. I left all of the corset-esque addenda and various titillating accessories aside, though I did get to spend some time figuring out how to actually put on women’s underwear, which was new to me. It wasn’t especially hard; it seemed like the “previous” Queen Eliza hadn’t been a fan of undergarments to begin with, so the selection was sober and uncomplicated, most of it sorting itself out, though stockings were definitely a new experience. I rubbed my legs together and giggled at the sensation.

 

After a minute, I got up, and chose a pair of knee-high boots -- which I realized were almost three feet high -- and tried them on. Walking in heels came surprisingly easy to me, and I paraded in front of the mirror in my new outfit for a bit. The Queen looked really stinking cute, if I said so myself. 

 

All dressed and looking like a buff supermodel on her day off, I went back into the main room, and eenie-meenie-miney-mo’d my way between the remaining two rooms. The one I went into had the lavish bed I’d spotted previously. It was so big. It would have been big even if it hadn’t been made to my gargantuan size. Even proportionally it was the largest bed I’d ever seen. I wagered I could lie on it head to toe several times and never make it to the other side. It was a swimming pool of a bed. 

 

It also looked like the comfiest thing I’d ever seen. Every inch of my being was pulling me forward. “Sleep on me”, the bed seemed to say, and I really wanted to oblige. I was just leaning over, my body more decisive than I was, when there was a knock on the door to my chambers. I lost my balance but managed to abstain from faceplanting, instead twirling and finding myself sitting daintily on the edge of my bed.

 

“Ahem. Come in!” I shouted. I heard Kazumi open the door and then nothing for a second. “I’m in here!” I said, trying not to sound too stern. The concerned face of the snake girl poked around the corner. She looked a little nervous, still. I was really hoping her attitude would shift as she got more comfortable around me. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I hoped I didn’t strike too imposing a figure? Especially considering my more comfortable clothing, I didn’t think I was as intimidating. 

 

“Queen Eliza?” Kazumi said meekly. 

 

“Please, Kazumi. Just Eliza.”

 

“I… yes, Eliza. It’s uh… different, seeing you in your mother’s old clothing.”

 

Oh no! My surprise must have been visible on my face.

 

“Not in a bad way! Just unexpected, my Queen. Uh, Eliza.”

 

“Do I not normally wear clothing?” Eliza sounded more and more like she had issues, to be honest. But once again, I was misunderstood.

 

“Of course you do, my Queen, I apologize, I didn’t mean to imply…”

 

“Kazumi, please! Don’t be upset! I’m just still kinda having trouble remembering things.” I tried to smile at her, making sure my mouth stayed closed. I didn’t want my fangs to scare her. 

 

“Is that… armor all I wear? That can’t be true, can it?”

 

She nodded, relaxing visibly. “I’m afraid so, my Queen. Though I would like to say that this is… an improvement, if I may be so bold.”

 

“Thank you, Kazumi!” I blushed and resisted the urge to pull her in for a hug. Even if I wasn’t scared to squish the poor snake-girl, unwanted affection like that could really make people uncomfortable, as I knew all too well. “Would you mind if I asked for your advice when it comes to outfits sometimes?”

 

“I -- Why -- Of course not, Queen Eliza.” She looked at me suspiciously again, though I didn’t really understand why. I didn’t have a reason to deceive her, after all.

 

“What was it you came here to tell me?”

 

“Oh! Right! Your war council has been gathered, Eliza.” There was still hesitation in her voice when she said my name, but she was getting more self-assured. Maybe the punishment she’d been expecting hadn’t come? I didn’t know what she might be punished for, and I didn’t care to find out.

 

“Thank you, Kazumi! Lead the way.” I smiled happily and jumped up. My full height surprised me, and my speed must have surprised Kazumi, as she did what she could to jump backwards, difficult as that is when most of your body weight is tail. I would have to explore the last room later.

 

Kazumi led me back out into the hallway, and into a side room. It was large, and mostly occupied by a single table, on which a map was engraved. I recognised it immediately. The central map, the Kingdom of Wydonia, which the player had to reunify in the base game, was painted a soft blue.  The part of the map that was a deep, bloody red, like a little appendix onto the more circular central region, was obviously where we were. There were little wooden figures all over. 

 

I looked around the room, at the gathered generals. All of them seemed surprised to see me, looking up at me. I didn’t know if their staring was because of my unexpected meeting, or because of the dress. Happily, I realized I recognized most of them from the character trailers. Each was in control of a region that had to be conquered before the player could take on the Dragon Queen, so they all had wildly different personalities, and trailers to go with them.

The one to my immediate left was clearly an elf. Her ears were massive, at least twice the height of her head, and eyebrows to match. She was also very probably dead. She had the same look to her that Sabine’d had when I’d… done my thing, earlier. I remembered from the lore trailer that she was actually supposed to be a long dead warrior, who had died in a great battle against Wydonia. She’d been resurrected to fight once more. She looked very angry, but not towards me, as such. She gave me a bow, and shot a withering glance at a woman on the other side of the table. I couldn’t think of her name, and I made a mental note to ask Kazumi about their names later. Something with an S…

 

Next was… ugh, him. I remembered his trailer because I deliberately hadn’t watched it. He’d been widely disliked on message boards because he was literally just your typical evil moustache-twirling villain. Another fat Duke or Count or something, who got his kicks from oppressing the populace. Ugh. Next. 

 

Kazumi had taken her own place at the table, opposite me. I gave her a very small wave that I hoped wasn’t too obvious, but I got some weird glances anyway. I remembered that she represented some of the… the word used in the game was “monstrous races”, many of whom weren’t welcome in Wydonia, and Queen Eliza had gathered them under her banner. Or rigged them in front of her cart. I remembered now that Kazumi could be convinced to turn on Eliza by opening her eyes to the fact that she and all the less-humanoid races were being used. I felt gross.

 

Next to her was a woman in red. Elena… Fire-something. She was a fan-favourite. Clearly evil but also very attractive, she seemed to always be floating a little bit, and always a little bit on fire. It had looked cool in the trailers, but in practice she made the room smell like burnt plastic ever so slightly. She was the one the undead elf had been shooting angry glances towards, and they were being returned in kind. Her lore, I remembered, pointed out that she had taken control over the undead woman’s lands, and she’d done a shoddy job leading her people, and had eventually lost them to the Hero of Eferton. Undead lady held a big old grudge. The two could be turned against each other by high-charisma players.

 

Finally, the last woman at the table was imposing. Not quite as imposing as me, but at about seven and a half foot tall, she was definitely the second largest person at the table. She was also a wonderful dark green. I remembered her representing the noble orc races from the north, who had thrived in their snowy mountains through magic and engineering where other races couldn’t come. She wore several mechanical knicknacks around her person, and at least two books I could see at chains around her waist. While she was technically one of the “evil” characters, she was mostly there to announce the new artificer class, and she was mostly a scholar. High-intelligence characters could match her in a battle of wits and turn her to their side.

 

I looked around the room, and tried to look imposing, like the old Dragon Queen had done. I was proud of how easy acting like a Queen came to me. 

 

“Hiya!” I said cheerfully.


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