I Don’t Want to Be Turned Into the Female Protagonist by the System

For the first time in his life, Su Qi felt money was so important.

Because without money, he couldn’t even afford a pair of underpants.

It truly echoed the saying, a single penny can stump a hero.

In response to Su Qi’s plea for help, the system silently opened the Taobao app for him and checked the underpants and bra sections in the store.

The cheapest pair of underpants cost 5,800. They were a pair of pure cotton rare and pure underpants. The most expensive was a pair of silk lace black artistic special panties with a hollowed-out design in the middle. Su Qi could tell these were not proper underwear. The asking price was 1.2 million.

As for bras, the price was even more expensive. It took 8,888 to buy a cotton sports bra.

Su Qi complained to the system in his heart: How can such a small piece of cloth sell for so much? And those 1.2 million erotic panties.

The system expressed understanding for Su Qi’s nature of hating evil, but did not accept it. It protested with some resistance: “Host, the products of this system can definitely maintain comfort, come with antibacterial and self-cleaning functions, and also have hidden attribute bonuses. The most crucial point is they are all manufactured by this system, so the quality will definitely put you at ease.”

Hearing the system say these tsundere words in a somewhat flat tone, Su Qi decided not to argue with it.

Left with no choice, Su Qi could only search for usable fabric in the house. At least he couldn’t let the school uniform look so obvious.

Su Qi only regretted why he didn’t bring a scarf or pants that could be wrapped around when he left the dorm!

Wrap around!!

At this moment, Su Qi suddenly thought of the black stockings Wang Yun left behind before she left, which he had enshrined on the empty clothes rack.

He took the treasure gifted by the girl next door off the rack with both hands. Unfortunately, it no longer had the scent or warmth from that time.

Taking off the school uniform, Su Qi folded the stockings evenly and started wrapping them around his chest in circles.

Su Qi had seen many Chinese dramas where females disguised as males would wrap their chests with white cloth, but he was probably the first to use stockings, especially black stockings.

While wrapping his chest, he didn’t forget to tease that his heart was quite big!

Seeing the jade rabbits wrapped in black stockings, bullied into an unsightly state, Su Qi even wanted to step forward and bully the black stockings for a bit.

It was Su Qi’s first time wrapping cloth, and he declared it a failure. As for the reason, he underestimated his own size. C cup refers to a female cup size with a 15 cm difference between upper and lower bust circumferences.

Even if the stockings were folded neatly, they were only about one meter long. Even with Su Qi’s thin waist, it could only wrap around twice.

This time, Su Qi wisely extended the length. Seeing the two rabbits forcefully flattened into a pitiful state, Su Qi nodded in satisfaction and put on the school uniform again. This time, it looked the same as the usual school uniform.

There was no more strange rubbing sensation in the front. If there was anything weird, it was the side effect of chest tightness.

Su Qi held the lunchbox in his hand. Thinking that he had no underpants on his lower body and was hiding a pair of stockings on his upper body, Su Qi felt a wave of shame while also having a thrilling and novel feeling.

Without the green hoodie to cover, Su Qi kept his head very low, afraid of others noticing him.

But what he feared came. When Su Qi’s elevator reached the 8th floor, a family of three suddenly came on.

The couple brought a little boy. The little boy was very active at three or four years old, not annoying, with an innocent and romantic appearance.

He had two pieces of candy in his hand. Seeing Su Qi with his head down, looking gloomy, he looked up at Su Qi and said in the milky voice unique to young children:

“Big Brother, want candy?” His eyes were like black pearls, spinning around, looking silly and cute, really making people want to dote on him.

If it were normal times, Su Qi might have chatted with him for a bit. But now, he just wanted to be invisible and minimize his presence as much as possible.

He smiled at the little boy gently, then shook his head.

The little boy didn’t expect this Big Brother in front of him to have such a beautiful smile, even more beautiful than his mother’s. He was the most beautiful Big Brother he had ever seen in his life, and so gentle too.

His feet unsteady, he actually plopped down and sat on Su Qi’s shoe!

The parents chatting on the side hurriedly walked over.

“Sorry! Our kid doesn’t know better! A bit naughty. Are you okay?” The man asked Su Qi.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I’m not hurt either!” Su Qi said in a hoarse voice.

But he didn’t expect his deliberately disguised voice to attract the attention of this young couple instead.

With this inspection, the two simultaneously sucked in a breath of cold air. The woman’s voice that was about to speak seemed to have the mute button pressed.

It wasn’t until the elevator went down another floor that they gradually came back to their senses. The woman’s sharp eyes glanced at her beloved who was still staring at Su Qi.

Feeling jealous, she jabbed her elbow into her old man’s ribs, making the man grimace in pain. It seemed she used a bit of force.

Su Qi, being observed, only felt more nervous, especially the empty feeling of not wearing underwear, making him subconsciously put his legs together to increase his sense of security. But he himself didn’t realize it and was still lost in his own world with his head down.

“Big Brother, your shoe is flat. Could it be broken?” The little boy patted his butt and got up from Su Qi’s shoe, but the shoe didn’t return to its original shape for a long time.

Su Qi wiggled his right toes, trying hard to prop up the size 42 shoe, but unfortunately his foot had become too small to reach. Left with no choice, he could only squat down to fix this shoe. After squatting down, the meticulous little cutie actually discovered Su Qi’s secret.

“Big Brother, why are your pants so flat? Could it be you’re not wearing underpants?” Hearing the innocent voice of the little milky baby, Su Qi only felt his body stiffen as cold sweat flowed down.

No wonder people say children have keen observation skills. It’s unbelievably keen!

Smack!

The child’s mother gave this little cutie a rap on the head, saying, “How could sister, so big, possibly not wear underwear? You think it’s you?”

Then she smiled at Su Qi in embarrassment. “The child doesn’t know better. I’ll give him a beating when we get back!”

Su Qi: Is high-end education often so plain and simple?

The little milky baby still didn’t know his fate and continued speaking without care for the consequences, “Big Brother, I’m not wearing underpants either. We’re the same!”

“What Big Brother? It’s big sister. Your sister is wearing a thong. What do you, a little brat, know?” The young woman smacked the little cutie’s butt, making a slapping sound.

The curious little cutie didn’t ask his mother why she hit him, but asked, “Mom, what’s a thong? Sounds very cool. Can I wear it?”

These words made the young couple burst out laughing.

Fortunately, the elevator finally opened at this time. Otherwise, Su Qi felt he would develop an awkwardness syndrome!

It’s just that he didn’t expect there to be such a divine weapon explanation like a thong.

Speaking of thongs, Su Qi quite liked this setting initially, until a group friend said:

Do you know? The string of a thong… stinks.

Su Qi didn’t know what dialect “stinks” was, but it didn’t affect understanding the meaning of this sentence. It also made Su Qi gradually give up creating thongs.

He never expected that today he would be suspected of wearing something as absurd as a thong! Things are really unpredictable!

At this time, the system suddenly interjected, “The host’s current body can fully pull off a thong without worrying about odor.”

Su Qi asked doubtfully, “Why? Could it be because of my good wiping habits!?”

Because his father was fortunate enough to get hemorrhoids when he was young, seeing his father’s pained appearance, he knew that in addition to inflammation caused by excessive spicy food and alcohol, a big reason was also due to not wiping his butt clean enough.

So Su Qi secretly vowed to pay attention to personal hygiene and even specially consulted a nurse. The nurse gave the young Su Qi, who had a serious and studious appearance at the time, a good science lesson.

Normal people only wipe in one direction, not knowing that the other direction still has a lot of dirt. The left and right sides will also be stained with some dirt. These all need to be cleaned. If not cleaned properly, it will also lead to the string of the thong stinking.

As for how to clean, for males, they can make a big fuss and wipe repeatedly. Females need to pay attention to the wiping direction, otherwise it may induce inflammation.

Thinking of the nurse’s words from back then, along with his father’s exaggerated appearance of covering his chrysanthemum, it was still vivid in his mind.

Su Qi couldn’t help but feel a bit nostalgic, not knowing if he was missing his father or the sight of his father getting hemorrhoids.

“Please don’t share your weird wiping posture with this system, host. Although you are correct and it can greatly reduce middle-age hemorrhoids, it’s completely unnecessary for the host to pay attention to now!?”

“Why?” Su Qi asked in return!

“Has the host had a bowel movement in the past few days?”

Reminded by the system, Su Qi really did recall that he indeed hadn’t had the experience of a bowel movement since having the system, and his stomach was still as flat as ever.

Could it be: “That’s right, it’s as the host thought. The host doesn’t need to worry about excretion issues now. This system uses the host’s body waste to nourish the faint fragrance, solving the host’s problem. But urination will still proceed normally!” Su Qi heard a hint of tsundere pride in the system’s words.

It seemed to be seeking praise.

“Not being able to poop, although it indeed eliminates many things, it also loses some fun.” Su Qi said. He was thinking of immersive toilet time.

But he didn’t expect the system to misunderstand.

The system paused for a moment, as if thinking what fun was lost, then made an explosive declaration, “Rest assured, system, although no need for bowel movements, it won’t interfere with using the back door.”

Su Qi was a bit puzzled. If not pooping, what other use was there? Then he heard the system continue, “Won’t interfere with various forms of play!”

Su Qi made a shocked expression that could be made into a collectible meme.

“I didn’t expect you were this kind of system!”

“All options of this system come from the host’s subconscious. Host, please restrain yourself!”