I Gave Up on Conquering the Heroines

Hildegart’s prodigy.

As a child, I was called by that nickname.

I wasn’t a prodigy in any specific field.

Whatever I touched stood out.

There were many things I wanted to do, and my choices were vast.

In the midst of it all, my father required me to study theology.

At first, I wasn’t happy about it, but I quickly found it fun.

It was from that point I began to dream of being an inquisitor, idolizing the religious judges.

The year I turned 18.

I double-majored in theology and law, graduating at the top of both fields.

The paths were many.

I could have become a clergyman or a civil servant.

I could have continued studying law and entered the legal field.

At that point, my life seemed to be lined with a smooth path.

Until the family fortune rapidly declined, that is.

News came that a mine I had bought for a fortune was running dry.

Almost simultaneously, the business began to fail one after another.

Debts piled up in an instant, surpassing Hildegart’s ability to pay.

At that time, a helping hand was stretched out.

“Cornelia. It seems you have to get married. The Briam family is willing to pay off the debts on the condition that you marry…”

It was an offer from the Briam family.

Briam was a family of pagan origin, which had recently been naturalized in the Holy Kingdom after receiving a count’s title.

They had successfully built a foundation, but to survive future political struggles, they would need a loyal family’s support.

“The counterpart is Lawrence Briam.”

“I’ve never heard of him! Why would he pick me out of nowhere?”

“I suppose it’s because you’re famous. Let me see if I can persuade him. In any case, what matters is the union of families, not who you marry…”

I had just begun my rise to success and couldn’t stop now.

Marriage was out of the question.

Absolutely out of the question.

After all, I had several older sisters who were of marriageable age and two cousins who were over sixteen.

There was no need for me to get married.

At least, that was what I believed.

“Cornelia. It’s either you or no debt repayment…”

“Huh?”

It was a bolt from the blue.

It had to be me.

What on earth did that mean?

“Did you really persuade him properly? I can’t get married right now! I just graduated and there are so many things I want to do! If I go through with this, I could be the youngest judge! Everything would go down the drain!”

“I explained everything…I even begged them to choose another child. But it was no use. They insisted that it’s either you or nothing… I’m sorry. I truly am, Cornelia.”

I was dumbfounded.

That day, I realized.

Lawrence was a complete lunatic.

A pervert who felt joy in blocking and trampling on others’ dreams.

“Hello. I’m Cornelia Hildegart. This is my first time…”

“Oh. You’re here? Sit next to me.”

“…”

And my expectations were completely on point.

Lawrence Briam was shockingly rude.

Perhaps aware that Hildegart couldn’t refuse the marriage.

From our first meeting, he treated me like an object.

I looked to my father for help, but silence was all that returned.

That was when I realized.

I had no allies here.

“Cornelia. I’m truly sorry. It’s my fault that you’re suffering…”

“That’s enough. I don’t want to hear it.”

“If that guy’s acting too harshly, just tell me anytime.”

“What good would that do?”

“Time will pass, and once we accumulate wealth again, I’ll propose a divorce. Even if we have to pay you a hefty settlement, I will ensure we can get divorced. And who knows, he might seem rough on the outside but could actually be kind…”

“Ha. Please shut up.”

That guy kind?

The one who maliciously shattered my dreams?

What a ridiculous thing to say.

I could no longer trust my father’s words.

“Go wash up. Thoroughly, if possible.”

“I have something to say. Darling.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll say it just once, so listen well. I don’t think I can share a bed. A sexual relationship is still quite impossible for me. So at least give me some time…”

On our wedding night.

I succinctly laid out my demands to my husband.

I did not love him.

Even the touch of skin was unpleasant to me, making it uncomfortable to even sleep in the same bed.

Of course, I chose my words carefully not to hurt his feelings.

“I don’t want to.”

“What?”

“Do you still not get the situation? What right do you have to make demands as a purchased object?”

I was rejected.

This was entirely unexpected.

I hadn’t said it was impossible forever, I simply asked for some time.

And yet, Lawrence dismissed even that small request.

As he approached with his clothes undone, I felt terrified.

“I don’t want to! No!”

“Ah…”

In the midst of resisting, I accidentally scratched Lawrence’s cheek.

His face froze cold in an instant.

I felt chills as if I were facing a monster.

Lawrence stood up with a serious expression and stopped trying to assault me.

Instead, he just grabbed my hair and placed his hand on me.

Crack!

“Ah! Darling! Please, ah! Stop…”

“Stop? I see you still have strength to speak, huh?”

“Ugh! Ah, it hurts! It hurts! Huh!”

At the time, I genuinely thought I was going to die.

It was my first time being beaten so mercilessly by someone.

My abdomen was bruised, and a couple of my ribs were cracked.

The next morning, I realized how cunning Lawrence really was.

When I put on my clothes, there weren’t any signs of wounds or bruises.

Even that cruelty was carried out through a cold, calculated manner, which chilled me to the bone.

From that day on, my body was imprinted with powerlessness.

I could no longer muster the courage to oppose Lawrence.

I couldn’t say anything that might displease him.

Whenever our eyes met, my abdomen would tingle, and I would involuntarily lower my gaze.

My already healed ribs throbbed, making it hard to breathe.

“You can’t go outside without my permission. You can’t meet anyone else without my permission.”

“…”

It felt like I was trapped in a cage.

There was no freedom for me.

Books that had been sent from my family, questioning what a woman could study, were all ripped apart.

I couldn’t even muster a peep.

I didn’t want to be beaten again.

“What could this be? To me, it looks like a letter criticizing my heavenly husband.”

“Ah…”

Clearly, a letter I sent to my family was in Lawrence’s hand.

It was meant to inform them of my treatment.

It seemed all my letters were being censored.

I had completely misjudged thinking at least some minimal freedoms were guaranteed.

“This is real. Ha… I didn’t realize you were sharpening your knife behind my back like this.”

“I’m sorry, darling. I won’t do it again. Please, I beg you. Sob…”

That day, I realized.

The beating I received on the first night was nothing.

I learned how a cruel monster loses control.

Now, I was truly beaten to a pulp.

Lawrence didn’t care whether it was my cheek or my arm; he struck me everywhere.

Even when I vomited or passed out briefly, he didn’t stop.

By the time I had no more screams left in me.

Lawrence left, dripping with blood.

For about two weeks after, I was forbidden from going outside.

I couldn’t show my swollen face with torn skin to the world.

I thought countless times about asking for help.

But was there really anyone who could help me in this world?

I don’t know. My father would surely worry for me and criticize Lawrence, but he wouldn’t be able to save me.

The Hildegart family, which said it would soon restore its fortune, was still struggling with financial issues, so divorce seemed a distant dream.

Even if I reported it to the police, it would be meaningless.

The police doesn’t intervene in disputes between couples.

It’s quite common for a wife to be beaten by her husband.

I would only receive a bit of sympathy, but no one would rescue me from this hell.

“Smile, Cornelia. Don’t keep that face on. Do I look like a husband who hits his wife?”

“Y-yes…”

Whether at any party or social gathering, I had to smile.

I had to pretend to love him while being by his side.

Of course, asking for help from anyone I met there was entirely out of the question.

Lawrence was always watching me closely.

If I were discovered, I would truly be beaten to death.

Choking to death under a completely unhinged monster.

That fear left me frozen, unable to do anything.

“The mayor of Cologne has passed away suddenly, so I’ll be temporarily assuming his position. We’ll be moving to Cologne.”

“Yes…”

The situation changed abruptly when Lawrence became the acting mayor of the Holy Kingdom’s capital.

The workload was overwhelming.

Tasks beyond Lawrence’s capacity were passed on to me.

If I failed to handle them, I feared I would be beaten, which made me exert unnecessary competence.

Lawrence referenced my ideas, reforming various systems.

All those reforms succeeded, and he was elected as the mayor of Cologne in the next election.

I saw hope.

What the Briam family obtained through our marriage was a solid foundation.

But now, the Briam family had an even stronger basis.

The entire city of Cologne became his support.

No one could now insult Lawrence for being of pagan descent.

Thus, there was no longer a need for us to continue our married life.

Lawrence likely harbored great discontent at my refusal to engage in marital relations with him.

So I thought it wouldn’t be difficult to get divorced…

“Divorce? Leave such a stain on my life? Don’t ever mention that nonsense again.”

It was a flat-out rejection.

Lawrence had no intention of letting me go.

So then what happens to me?

What becomes of the pesky wife who is no longer needed or useful?

It didn’t take long to find the answer.

“Drink. It’s warm water.”

“Darling…?”

“Drink it.”

On a day I caught a cold.

Lawrence suddenly offered me warm water.

It was colorless, tasteless, and seemed utterly normal.

The next day and the day after that.

Even after I recovered from my cold, Lawrence kept bringing me warm water.

Had he finally come to his senses?

Had he decided to be nice to me now?

“I… My throat is too sore. I need to wait a bit…”

“Drink it in front of me right now!”

Of course, that could never be the case.

If I didn’t drink the water in front of him, he would explode in anger.

And I began to grow steadily weaker.

Even when I ate, I didn’t gain any weight, couldn’t sleep well, and always had a throbbing headache.

I would sometimes run a fever like a light cold, and I frequently coughed.

Yet, the illness showed no signs of improvement; the symptoms were escalating, and a strange energy was swirling around me.

‘That water. It’s not just plain water.’

I’m not an uneducated, foolish woman.

No, even a woman like that could have inferred it quickly.

There was something in the water Lawrence was making me drink.

And that water was slowly poisoning me.

Perhaps a diluted poison.

‘That crazy bastard…’

What was he planning to do with a wife who was no longer useful or needed?

It seemed Lawrence had no intention of letting me live after discovering his secret.

Divorce would leave a stain on the mayor of Cologne’s life, but death was different.

Moreover, appearing to mourn for his deceased wife might even earn him sympathy votes.

By that calculation, Lawrence decided to slowly kill me.

However, knowing the reason didn’t give me any means to escape.

He continued to beat me mercilessly if I refused to drink.

He watched to see that I didn’t spill a drop while drinking.

Afterward, he had servants monitor me, forcing me to vomit up the water I just drank.

There was no way out.

Even if I knew I was dying, I had no way to fight back.

Had it been in the past, I might have exposed Lawrence’s atrocities in the middle of a party, saying it was either him or me.

But the resolve had long since been stripped from me.

Having been beaten countless times by Lawrence, my spirit was broken.

The fear of death was overshadowed by the fear of being beaten by him.

Losing all will to resist and courage to rebel.

I half-accepted my death.

Drinking poison, slowly dying.

Yet, a part of my heart still held onto hope.

Hope that someone would come to rescue me.

Hope that someone would notice the darkness behind my bright smile and come to my aid.

“Drink. You keep coughing.”

“Yes, darling…”

It was just another day like any other.

Today, a mercenary came over to have dinner at our place.

There was really nothing different.

Lawrence boldly handed me a cup in front of the mercenary.

I took the cup and brought it to my lips.

My hands trembled, but I had no choice.

I had to drink.

“Ah!”

“Oops. I’m so sorry.”

The table shook violently, and the glass fell to the ground, shattering.

Startled, I looked across the table, and the mercenary had just kicked the table over.

“It was a mistake.”

It was clearly intentional.

He had kicked the table on purpose, making me spill my drink.

‘No way…’

Ignoring Lawrence’s crumpled expression.

The mercenary merely stared into my shocked eyes.

My heart raced.

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