I hate being wed in a fantasy world!

Extra 3 – The Beauty and her Knights

In the midst of the Vulkan-mountains, a party of heroes is busy salvaging monsters. Or more like, two-thirds of the hero-party are busy working. Yamamoto Jiro separates the body of a so-called rockinger from its shell. “Hey, Nadeshiko-chan! I got it!”

“I was faster,” stupid Oshita Hotaru exclaims, showing another shell.

“No, me!”

“Look at yours, there is still blood.”

“Hah!? Where is the  blood?”

“There, there is a big spot.” Oshita pokes with his finger a part of the shell, leaving behind a bloody mark.

Instead of talking, Jiro tries to cave Oshita's head in with his shell.

“Boys,” a beautiful girl says: “Stop fighting.” The hint of tears makes Jiro feel bad though Oshita totally deserves to die at this point.

“Of course, Nadeshiko-san!” That jerk shamelessly jumps at the opportunity to please sweet Nadeshiko-chan while giving Jiro a wink that tells him, that Oshita doesn't even think about getting along with him. Asshole times ten!

“Nadeshiko-chan, only for you.” Still, if it's for Nadeshiko-chan, he would even swim across the ocean. So not telling that idiotic soccer-loser what a joke he is, is a small price to pay.

Jiro can do stuff, he's part of the judo-club. He may not be a Yamauchi Daichi, but he had already won a tournament in middle school. Oshita is just someone who plays soccer and sits on the bench most games. Well, he may look decent, but Jiro is sure that his own look exudes manliness. He has enough muscles to show, but not enough to be considered a monster-bodybuilder.

In contrast, Oshita looks like a skinny, ladylike gimp. Like someone that nature couldn't decide whether to make him a boy or a girl and therefore gave him long eyelashes, full lips, and a scrawny body. Well, he has some muscles as a sportsperson, but they are pathetic. He will never be able to protect Nadeshiko-chan! Unlike Jiro.

Nakamura Nadeshiko-chan is the perfect girl. She is like a beautiful flower greeted by the sun each day. Long wavy hair that flows to her shoulders, lovely eyes that sparkle with her love for life, beautiful lips that makes you want to kiss her. She certainly doesn't belong to this world, this poor helpless girl, so Jiro has made it his priority to protect her.

On the other hand, Oshita wants her for his ego. He wants to sully her, wants her for his dirty desires. He's just a pervert who doesn't have any decency. If given a chance, Jiro would kick Oshita out of the party without any hesitation, but Nadeshiko is kindhearted enough to provide him with the benefit of the doubt.

The only thing Oshita is good for is to attract monsters. Jiro wants to protect Nadeshiko-chan, so he can't go that much into the offense, but if monsters are around Oshita, then it's all good. Especially if they beat him to a pulp, but as Oshita has the [Warrior]-class, it's highly unlikely. He's nigh indestructible, just like a leech or a tick. He also has the [Archer]-class in case he gives into his cowardice. Jiro fights monsters directly and valiantly, so he's obviously the better man!

Jiro has the [Grappler] and [Thief]-classes, in addition to the [Student]-class. He wants to obtain [Wizard] soon, so he can nuke that bastard whenever he's in the midst of monsters, while explaining that this is how things are supposed to work.

Nadeshiko-chan doesn't fight. She only has the [Wizard]-class though she rarely does anything. She's a lady, after all, fighting monsters isn't what she's supposed to do. This is a man's job. Still, she has the highest level of them all, as Jiro does his best to present her half-dead monsters, as higher levels increases her chances of survival. If only Oshita wouldn't copy Jiro! It was his idea... well, as long as it helps Nadeshiko-chan stay alive...

“So, every rockinger-shell collected,” Jiro says while rubbing his arm over his sweaty forehead. “We'll keep going.”

“Keep going? Hey, Bakashita (Baka [Idiot] + Oshita), Nadeshiko-chan needs a break!”

“What was that? I believe that I heard a fart. Ah, it was just you talking, Kusomoto (Kuso [Shit] + Yamamoto).”

“At least my face doesn't resemble an ass.”

“I don't know... every word you say sounds pretty shitty to me.”

“When I'm done with you, your farts will come out of your mouth and you'll speak with your ass.”

“So that you have a fellow sufferer?”

Oshita is about to hit Jiro, yet Jiro wants that. It would give him the chance and excuse to beat Oshita to a pulp.

However: “Boys, stop.” Nadeshiko-chan, sweet as she is, gives Oshita another try at life.

““Yes...””

Then the last one of their party comes back. It's neither a hero nor a student, it's just Holger Erdmesser, the cartographer. It's a small fat man with long, dark blonde hair and beard, and surprisingly much stamina. Yet he's not a warrior, so he stays with Nadeshiko-chan while fighting and does his job whenever it's time to harvest monsters. “Also finished.” Not that his job takes a lot of time or care.

The Vulkan-mountains aren't fully mapped and even Erdmesser-san won't make a proper map as he lacks the manpower and tools to do so. He's more here to update the last sketch. Because nobody traverses outside the pilgrim paths, the current draft is quite old. The mountains have many passes that are hard enough to climb, so Erdmesser-san travels with the bare necessities while hoping to find some clues about the lizard people that are supposed to be somewhere in these mountains.

Jiro wants to return to the base camp in the Heißquellen-shrine, but he is hellbent on Oshita being the first one to complain. Currently, all they do is fight monsters and find new passes that have opened up due to some volcanic activities throughout the last few decades. It's boring! Yes, it may increase their level and fighting skills, but it's just so frustrating. Especially seeing that they're still just checking the places that were known but never visited thanks to their boorishness.

Who who would think that being a hero is such a monotone business?

Well, there is a bright side and that's Nadeshiko-chan! Without that dirt Oshita, it would almost be like a date. Jiro is sure that Nadeshiko-chan has her eyes on him but can't be honest while the douchebag is still around. She's also too kind for her own good, so she lets the douchebag stick around.

Maybe Jiro should confess. Yet he's still embarrassed about it and believes that acts speak louder than words. So he just needs to prove his love again and again until even the thick-headed Oshita understands that he doesn't have a chance!

So to sum everything up, life's trash. They're in the middle of nowhere, looking for threats that aren't here and have nothing to do with the demon king, while Jiro is stuck with Oshita. Jiro can't help but sigh a little, he needs to look at Nadeshiko-chan to recharge his batteries. ...ah, he needed that.

“Erdmesser-san, where's the next place?”

“Hey, Kusomoto, who died and made you the leader?”

“Does you being brain-dead count?”

“A dead brain is still better than whatever is inside your head.”

“Hah!?”

“Huh!”

“The only reason why your corpse isn't on the ground right now is that it'd pollute the earth.”

“You being alive is a waste. Apologize to every breathing being for wasting their oxygen!”

“That's it!” Jiro grabs Oshita's collar, ready to show him what a weakling he is by effortlessly slamming him into the ground.

“Hey, Kusomoto, I have something to say to you.”

“What!?”

Oshita opens his mouth and spits into Jiro's face. Jiro's vision blurs, as his every thought turns into beat the shit out of that asshole!

“Stop fighting.” It's Nadeshiko-chan's voice that cuts through the veil of anger and lets Jiro regain his senses before he can kill Oshita for good. “Jiro-kun, Hotaru-kun, please!”

Ah, that's sweet Nadeshiko-chan. She intervened to save Jiro of becoming a murderer. She really loves him. Jiro lets go of Oshita, that jerk isn't worth making Nadeshiko-chan cry.

Is that!? Nadeshiko-chan is handing Jiro a handkerchief! Jiro takes it greedily and starts wiping the spit off his face while sneering at Oshita. Oh? You don't receive any kindness from Nadeshiko-chan, super-jerk? Jiro would almost feel sorry.

“Hotaru-kun?” Nadeshiko-chan gives him a look, she really is too kind for her own good. “We need to work together.” Jiro thinks this thoughtfulness of hers is totally wasted, as he's more than willing to carry all the burden for her!

“Of course, Nadeshiko-san!” This phony bastard! Jiro knows that Oshita is just pretending to take her words to heart. “Everything you say!”

“Good. Erdmesser-san, where are we going next? I want to return as fast as possible to the camp.” Ah, Nadeshiko-chan. Of course, she doesn't want to sleep outside when she can avoid it! She's a lady, after all.

“Nadeshiko-chan, you can return, I'll take over!” Jiro wants to help that poor girl.

“Ah, that's good,” Oshita says blatantly, “then I can go with her and you're away.”

“HUH!?”

“Hey, Ku- Yamamoto. Someone has to stay with Nadeshiko-chan, after all!”

Before Jiro can muster an answer, a single sentence said by the girl besides them blows any resistance away: “Thank you, Jiro-kun.”

“OF COURSE! Erdmesser-san, let's go!” Jiro takes the hand of the round man and pulls him along.

“Wait, Yamamoto-dono!” All resistance of the cartographer is ignored, while Jiro forces him to come with him.

―○●○―

Finally! Oshita Hotaru is glad to be finally alone with Nadeshiko-san! Yamamoto is an idiot, that's why he proposed to work for her without foreseeing the complications. On the other side, Hotaru is someone who has patiently waited for an opportunity. The early bird might get a worm, but the one who waits and observes will find a feeding ground instead.

“Nadeshiko-san, do you need a break before we head back?”

“I'd rather be there earlier than later.” Ah, Nadeshiko-san, such a practical girl.

“Then let me carry your backpack.” Of course, Hotaru is a suave knight in his imagination, a cavalier. However, whenever he tries to be, Yamamoto comes and drags him down to his level. This shows how Hotaru and Yamamoto may both be in sports clubs, but while Yamamoto uses brute force in a sport like judo, Hotaru is using finesse and tactics in a complicated sport like soccer.

Well, Yamamoto has his uses. Not only here, where brute force makes right, even in modern Japan: Someone has to go tuna-fishing after all.

With Nadeshiko-san's backpack strapped over his own—luckily both of them are easy to carry as their storage is in a pocket dimension—Hotaru walks side by side with Nadeshiko-san. He leers at her face, the beautiful, beautiful Nadeshiko-san. Hotaru sometimes has fantasies about her that are R-rated, but he's a healthy boy, so it's natural.

Still, now he can't help but remember those thoughts, how his hands moved over her body in his dreams, how their lips interlocked... For a fraction of a second Hotaru even casually imagines pushing her down, here and now, another totally normal thought for someone his age. Not like he will do it for real.

His eyes wander to Nadeshiko-san's hand. Taking it would also be natural, right? Still, he has to wait for the perfect opportunity, only an ape would lunge at every next opportunity, Hotaru isn't a brute like Yamamoto, so he's patiently waiting for his chance.

Yes, he can move a bit closer to her. Then he will first touch her hand with his as both of them are walking, nothing too serious. Then he will look at her face and know if she dislikes it. If she does, he will just apologize. If she doesn't, he will slowly take her hand, giving her the chance to pull it away... This is a critical moment, therefore he needs to be careful about it.

Wait... wait... now! Hotaru is about to touch Nadeshiko-san's hand, but surprisingly, she lifts it to take a small steel mirror out of her pocket, checking her face and hair. “Ah, my hair is a mess.”

“It's perfect, Nadeshiko-san.”

“That's sweet. Would you stop for a moment please?”

Hotaru does as she says while, in contrast, his heart accelerates... Nadeshiko-san gets closer... and closer... This is it! She will finally... Her arm is now moving around Hotaru, she will embrace him, no, she needs to pull herself up to kiss him, she'll-

“Thanks.” Nadeshiko-san's hand moved into her backpack and now she has a comb in her hand. “A girl's hair is her life, after all.”

“I don't like that sentiment.”

“Hn?”

“A girl is much more than her hair. Even if you'd be covered in dirt, you'd still be brilliant.” He said it! It's a cheesy line but he pulled it off perfectly like a gentleman!

“Thanks, Hotaru-kun.” Her mood improves visibly, while she combs her hair carefully. “Yet this is way too much.”

Hotaru knew it! Nadeshiko-san is really in love with him! She's just hiding it because she's shy! So he needs to be a bit more proactive... no, he should first improve the mood more. Nadeshiko-san is shy after all. If he's too aggressive, she will be troubled.

“Nadeshiko-san, I only speak the truth. You're a beautiful girl!” He heard that praises do wonders with women.

“Stop flattering me.”

“You are like the sun, illuminating everything you look upon!”

Her smile makes these embarrassing words worth it. Nadeshiko-san starts playing with a string of hair while smiling in a way that causes Hotaru's heart to hammer against his throat from below. “You're kind, Hotaru-kun.”

This is it! Now he only needs to take her hand and confess. It's so easy! Hotaru breathes in deeply, lifts his hand--- only to see that Nadeshiko-san has already started walking again.

DAMMIT!

However, the way she looks back at him: “Hotaru-kun! Hurry up.” ...well, this is only the first half.

―○●○―

Cockteased. Nadeshiko looks at Hotaru-kun who is obviously smitten by her. Blinded by the hearts in his eyes he looks at a person that doesn't exist, something Nadeshiko isn't even pretending to be. She's a normal girl with above average looks who likes the attention, yet isn't willing to do anything to put up an image. Different from Momokawa Kyou, for example. That girl is just a bitch.

On the other hand, Hotarukun's and Jiro-kun's are right in their core beliefs: Nadeshiko is a girl who can't fight and therefore she accepted both after they were looking like lost puppies when the parties formed. For them, she must have been a goddess, a thought that she entertains at times. Yet their twisting of her words and expressions can be sickening at times and their bickering is tiring.

Still, having two boys waiting on her sure is handy. They can do the heavy lifting and fighting, yet Nadeshiko wouldn't be out here if she had acquired actual life-skills. She had no choice but to join the combat-group to fight on behalf of the kingdom.

The problem is that she still doesn't know how to handle these two boys. At times she tried being kind and polite, and they would act all familiar. Then she tried being stern, and they would look like she scolded them. She also tried to be distant, and they would try to get closer and closer. ...what are they, dogs?

Yes, in a sense they are. They're mindless animals who would do anything to get into her panties. Yet, they're useful. That's why she keeps them around. In this world, even they can become individuals that surpass all expectations. If they try hard enough, they might become stronger than anyone else.

Nadeshiko likes strong men. In Japan, she used to have a boyfriend, a second-year of the kendo-club. Now after so many months, she doesn't see the relationship as still in effect, but she has always been  drawn to strength.

In this world there are a lot of strong individuals and magic should also be considered when determining whether one is strong or not. Too bad that the wizards she has met so far were rather old or just plain dull in terms of personality.

Ah, she really needs someone in her life.

She looks back at the tail-wagging Hotaru-kun. No. Just no. He may look cute, but he's a wuss. Before she even considers him as lover-material, he needs to man up three paces or at least engulf in his cuteness. What's good about his face if he doesn't use it? He lacks the determination to be manly and cute and he lacks the tears to be super-cute.

What about Jiro-kun? He looks a bit manly but... Nah, also no material right now. He always reminds Nadeshiko of a gorilla. Or more of an orangutan? More animal than man.

“Sigh.” The reason why she didn't join Inoue-kun's and Yamaguchi-kun's party is because of the bitches, Akiyama-san and Momokawa-san. Yes, Nadeshiko used to hang out in class with them, but it was entirely superficial.

She really should have joined Endo-san's party, but Nadeshiko had some considerations regarding joining an all-girls party. What Nadeshiko doesn't know is that that decision may have saved her from a sad destiny.

“Sigh.” Nadeshiko is really sick of all that walking and wants to rest in a bed. There are some cuties in the camp, maybe she'll finally have time to check them out, being a hero must have some benefits. Though she's aiming for the wish in the end... Suddenly, a surge of motivation comes back into her.

When she or one of her classmates slay the demon king, all of them will return. Those directly responsible for his death will have a 'perfect wish' granted, whatever it may be. Most likely a wish without any restrictions... Nadeshiko has many contenders for this wish, like being the beloved queen of the entire Earth. Or to live in luxury without ever needing to do anything for it. Maybe the perfect boyfriend.

Yes, she almost forgot about that wish: “Hotaru-kun? I changed my mind, let's follow Jiro-kun and Erdmesser-san.”

“Whatever you wish, Nadeshiko-san...” He doesn't like it, he really doesn't like it. Yet he obeys her every word, most likely thinking that she wants to be kind to Jiro-kun or crap like that. The obeying part is not so bad after all. About the rest... she needs to find a solution.

―○●○―

Yamamoto Jiro and Holger Erdmesser are looking at a sealed pass. Erdmesser-san puts his thumb on his lips while saying: “A rock slide may have caused this. It used to be open ten years ago, though behind there is only an abandoned attrium mine.”

“What's attrium?”

“It's something used in medicine and smithies. Also bombs.”

“How can it be used for all of that?”

“Ask an alchemist.”

“...well, so we'll turn back?”

“Not until we know why the pass is blocked.”

“Didn't you say it was because of a rock slide.”

“It may have been the cause. I need to investigate it as well as possible, as the lizard people may have also caused this.”

“Ah, good thinking!”

“You just stay alert. You know even less than I about geology.”

“About what?”

“You see?” Erdmesser is drawing nearer to the wall of debris, looking on the ground and above as well. On the other hand, Jiro is elsewhere with his thoughts. He's thinking about how much Nadeshiko-chan will praise him when he does a good job and how it'll lead to her confession. 'Oh, Jiro-kun, I've always loved you. Hota- no, Ahotaru (Aho [Idiot] + Hotaru) is just an idiot, who lacks the basic concepts to partake in society. Let's put him in an asylum and continue our journey just the two of us.'

Yes, that's exactly how things will turn out, nothing else would make sense.

Oh, there is a monster! What's that? It looks like an ostrich somehow but has a very curved beak. Well, no reason to not fight it. “[Powertackle]!” With his skill, Jiro jumps forward with incredible speed, tackling the bird-monster like it's nothing.

Oh wait, there are two more. Still not a problem, both are- wait, there are now five more, no, rather fifty! Where do they- Jiro lifts his arms to protect his face, as one of these bird-monsters jumps at him with the saber-like beak first. The beak easily pecks into his forearm, dismantling his armor, while another one hacks at his feet to do the same there. Without his armor, he might be just a bloody something right now, but more come from the flanks...

“[Drillkick]!” He can't use his arms without exposing his face, so he needs to rely on the few feet-related [Brawl]-skills he learned. “[Crescent Kick]!” The birds aren't strong at all, but there are many!

Shit! Shit, shit, shit! He shouts and yells while the birds are coming, one wave after another. Is there no end to them!? Ah, one of them seized the moment when he used another [Crescent Kick] to trip him!

Jiro feels how his face loses its color: “No, no, no!” One bird after another jumps on him, he's now in an ocean of pain as these saber-beaks seem to be especially suited to attack prone prey. Jiro's armor, skin, and flesh are ripped apart, piece by piece. “Ah, aah, eegh...” He always thought that when someone is ganged up and torn to pieces that it would end in loud screams, just like in zombie movies, but in actuality, he can only muster eerily small cries because he's suffocating as well... painful so painful... no, he will die! Someone... anyone, please! He doesn't want to die! Jiro feels how he is starting to piss into his pants while tears run down his face, same as the blood dripping down from his arms...

“[Thresher]!” This voice! Suddenly, a bunch of bird-cries are heard as someone charges into them and hurls them away with his maul. It's Oshita Hotaru! What is he doing here!? Does that mean... there! Nadeshiko-chan! She's here!

Jiro stands up, blood is dripping down from his entire body, but he refuses to be that pathetic when Nadeshiko-chan is watching. Seeing him down will only break her heart, so he has no choice but to keep on fighting. Miraculously, his body still moves despite all his wounds.

Oshita sneers at him: “Drop again. Or drop dead, Bakamoto.”

Screw Oshita, Jiro will kill more of those monsters than that asshole can even count. So more than ten. “Fuck yourself.”

“Here, have a bird!” With a strike with his maul, Oshita flings a monster at Jiro, who catches it with his hand and crush its windpipe.

“Thanks for the XP.”

“Just giving you a headstart.”

“Only to claim that this is why you'll kill less than I will.” While snarling at each other, Oshita and Jiro starts killing one of the birds after the other. They had each other backs, and despite all of their bickering they moved perfectly in unison.

The first ten birds are no problem, yet after that Jiro's lack of blood and exhaustion from before shows. The next ten are also beaten, yet even Oshita shows how straining it is. Twenty-one to thirty, however, is like an impossible task, there is no end!

Jiro knows that he's done for. He'll die here and now, next to that bastard, who also begins to resemble a bloody mess despite his armor. Oh shit.

Where is Nadeshiko-chan? “Na-eck-go-han?” An indistinguishable yelling is heard from his bleeding mouth. Ah, of course. She must have abandoned the boys, seeing how they're incapable of winning this fight. It's only natural, seeing how both of them suck.

Ah. Jiro realizes that he's on the ground now, ready for being dismembered. This is the end...

“[Fireblast]!” Then everything around him explodes — birds, Oshita, himself. Only a smoking black something is left behind... Ah, one of them moves, it's Oshita. The birds don't. Somehow Jiro always imagined that burned birds should smell like poultry, grilled, baked, or fried, but in the end, it's a nasty smell instead.

Then he sees her! Nadeshiko-chan! “Boys, come here! Immediately!” Of course, she's pissed. Jiro moves his body, it refuses, but he still forces it to move, he can’t understand why he's able to. Still, it's good that he does, as the next wave of birds is already at his heels.

Nadeshiko-chan also started running. She has such a beautiful running form! Jiro has reconfirmed his love for her, for this goddess!

―○●○―

After running for a while, Nadeshiko sighs in relief as the bird-monsters have stopped following them. She looks back at the two boys, who are at the verge of death, her [Fireblast] pushed them to their utmost limits. “Chug some potions,” she instructs those stupidly grinning idiots, who don't even take care of themselves properly.

At least they listen to her orders. With every potion, more burns and cuts disappear, though there are still traces of cuts everywhere, like the flesh is just holding together. Jiro-kun is about to jump at her: “Nadeshi-”

“Seiza,” Ordering them to sit in the traditional Japanese kneeling position, Nadeshiko keeps her calm behavior, as a girl who allows her anger to show on her face is unbefitting. The boys slowly fall on their knees and look terrified. Just like dogs.

“Nadeshiko-sa-,” Hotaru-kun begins his sentence, but Nadeshiko looks at him with her calm face and his words are stuck in his throat.

“In the end, both of you are just dogs.” She says to them, having had enough of their antics. If she didn't hide and chanted her [Fireblast]-spell, the two of them would have died. “I think, both of you need some more discipline.” Nadeshiko reaches into her backpack and takes a horse whip out of it. “Who is first this time?”

““ME!”” Only in times like these, the two of them are getting along. This only proves that they have to be treated like dogs, in the end, and need a firm hand to keep themselves in line.

She won't try to treat them as humans again. She will instill her will into the two of them so that they won't ever lose again. This will be a multilayered training, their bodies, their minds, their personalities.

Both boys are wagging their tails at her, worshiping what they call 'Evil Nadeshiko.'

―○●○―

What the heroes forgot was Holger Erdmesser, who is now a captive. While the heroes were busy fighting with the saber-beaks, the ones who lured them towards the heroes in the first place sneaked upon him and knocked him out cold.

Three ss'rak look at the human. “Zhis will shuffish.” The one who makes maps. The Great One is still preparing, so having the human who makes maps at their disposal will bring them a significant tactical advantage. Due to the monster attack, he may even be declared dead.

Step 4 of the plan has begun. Step 1 was for the ss'rak to cross over to these lands. Step 2 was to build a base. Step 3 was to establish the necessary numbers. Now they're in Step 4, gathering intelligence and further resources to match it.

With a bit of luck, Feuerberg will still be fighting the demons by the time the ss’rak are ready to strike for the Great One. Maybe even letting the human heroes who fought the patriarch return to the humans was a plan to thin out the battlefront enough to draw out the war as long as possible.

There is also that one hero on their side who has come from the Northern Island to help in the grand plan the Great One undoubtedly has.

The ss'rak may not be hidden anymore, but they're lurking. They seem harmless while gathering power, waiting for an opportunity to snap and devour their prey.

Beware, humans. The Great One will come.