ALL NOVEL Chapter 81
Elderin zoomed towards me at a terrifying speed as soon as she picked up the phone.
Yeah. She probably flew here.
It’s quite a distance from where Elderin lives to here.
I regretted calling her for a moment, thinking it was a pretty long way.
But if my memory serves me right, the car speeding towards me was definitely Elderin’s.
Only just an hour had passed.
So that shiny white car must have had wings.
Without wings, it would mean Yuserin was flooring the accelerator like crazy.
Vroom vroom!
“I hope she wasn’t speeding.”
In this day and age, she’d be racking up a ton of fines if she did.
And accumulating quite a few penalty points too.
No matter how I thought about it, there was no real reason for her to go that far for me.
She had already been kind enough to agree to my sudden request without a single question.
That was more than enough kindness.
However, it seemed my assumptions were not entirely correct.
When Elderin got out of the car, she looked quite a mess.
“Da-eun!”
She must have dashed over right from the gym.
She was wearing a coat over her snug workout tights, and it was clear she’d thrown her hair into a bun in a hurry.
Just the other day, she had coaxed me into doling out some beauty tips.
Was I grateful for her rushing over like that because of my call?
For some reason, my heart sank.
I thought I had calmed myself down.
But I couldn’t just sit still, so I hobbled over using my crutches.
Just when I almost lost my strength and fell midway, Elderin caught me.
Last time I met her, she smelled like perfume.
This time, there was a faint whiff of sweat.
When I felt the soft touch, my cheeks inexplicably warmed up.
“Did you wait long?”
“No, it’s fine… sniffle!”
Oh no.
My mom always said I looked awful when I cried.
Right now, I surely looked hideous.
*
I couldn’t really go to some fancy place.
Yuserin was dressed in a way that made going out difficult, and my eyes were bloodshot from crying.
When I got into the car, the side mirror reflected my face, which looked like a total crying mess.
I had cried way too much.
The car we were in, sobbing inside, was the only place we could be.
Luckily, I calmed down quickly, but now I was in trouble for a different reason.
It was embarrassing to act like a child.
Above all, I needed to at least explain what had happened…
Where should I start the story?
How much should I say before it’s okay for me?
This was the first time for me, so I had no clue.
Right now, I just wanted to be buried in warmth.
Should I just ask her to hold me without asking anything for a moment?
That wouldn’t be right. I knew it was too selfish of a wish.
It seemed Elderin could see right through my thoughts.
“Um, so…”
“You can think slowly. We’re just heading somewhere to get some fresh air, it’s all good, right?”
“Yeah, thank you.”
“If it’s really hard to talk about, you don’t have to.”
“…….”
On our way somewhere, we bought coffee.
My body wanted alcohol, but since Elderin was driving, that wasn’t an option.
We arrived at a quiet place overlooking the sea.
It seemed like a spot where no one would come and go, providing a strangely calming atmosphere.
The waves crashing on the shore went splash-splash, creating a rhythmic sound.
“Not bad for a random spot. Shall we sit there?”
We settled somewhere suitable and sipped our coffee.
It was coffee I could drink anywhere, but for some reason, it was particularly bitter today.
As expected, Elderin sat right next to me.
We were so close that a little movement would have our skin touching.
Yearning for warmth, I leaned towards her first.
A gentle hand patted my shoulder.
But my heart still wasn’t settled.
So, I started with a slightly different topic.
“Why are you so nice to me?”
“Huh? Hmm, I guess that is a fair question.”
“To be honest, our first meeting wasn’t that great, was it?”
The first time I met Elderin was during a moment when I was bleeding from my… you know, period.
I had severe menstrual cramps and bled quite a lot.
My emotional swings were all over the place, and I was venting my fury on anyone I encountered.
Elderin was one of the unfortunate victims back then.
If you think about it, someone who should have hated me instead of liking me.
“Did you listen and not get mad?”
“How could I get mad at someone who came to me like this?”
“I had a younger sister. Just like you, pretty and looking a bit precarious.”
*
The body and mind are closely connected.
When the body is sick, the mind gets sick too, and vice versa.
Yuserin’s younger sister was a case where physical illness affected the mind.
One day, she fell severely ill and couldn’t go outside anymore.
At first, it was okay. There was hope that she would get better, and she endured just fine.
But as her condition deepened, that was no longer the case.
“I’ve put more money in your account. Buy whatever you want.”
“I don’t need it. Didn’t I say I didn’t want to see your face?”
“Well, I can’t just avoid seeing you. How’s your body? Dr. Park said there was some improvement.”
“I think I’d feel much better if I didn’t see you.”
The treatment was too painful.
A person’s heart has a limit, but my sister had to bottle her pain within that limit.
So, only suffering flowed from the well of her heart.
When was the last time I saw her smile?
A hazy memory. Our once close sisterly bond felt like a dream now.
To ease her own pain, my sister chose to inflict pain on others.
It wasn’t the right thing to do.
Elderin was hurt a lot, and my sister would have hysterics with nurses and medical staff.
I had protested after hearing the occasional gossip.
I didn’t understand it well.
Even though I was doing my best to take care of my sister.
Why did she have to treat me so harshly?
I hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Do you find me ridiculous? Hiding away in a place like this…”
“Don’t say that. I’ve never thought that.”
“I told you I didn’t want to hear this! Get lost, get out! Just your presence makes me sick, so please don’t even come close!”
“…Okay, I’m sorry. Rest well. I’ll be going.”
Looking back, it was a scream.
A scream that comes out when it hurts too much.
A cry for help—she met the rotten heart and her stench clashed against it.
At that moment, Yuserin had no room for comfort.
As a human, she too had a limit for emotional capacity.
She couldn’t bear the stench of the festering heart.
When she returned, she faced the wrath of her sister.
At a time when she should have been recovering, she was out seeking wounds.
Naturally, Yuserin grew exhausted. Perhaps she had suppressed it for too long.
So, one day, when the doctor called her in…
“You should start preparing yourself mentally.”
“Mental preparation?”
“Your sister will soon…”
Yuserin felt a strange relief wash over her.
No more hospital bills to worry about.
She wouldn’t have to work day and night until the weekend, nor would she have to listen to her sister’s resentment anymore.
Finally, she could live only for herself.
Ah, liberation.
Freedom had arrived.
The doctor must have thought she was crying tears of loss.
But Yuserin, above all, knew.
Her tears back then were tears of joy for finally achieving freedom.
Though she felt ugly about it, she didn’t show it outwardly.
Even in her sister’s last moments, she stayed by her side.
She was ready to listen to any harsh words, knowing it could be their final day.
“Sis…”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I know you said you didn’t want to see me.”
“No, that’s not it. I’m sorry for everything. Please forget everything I said.”
“Huh? Huh?”
In that final moment,
my sister conveyed her apologies to her.
Suddenly, everything clenched tightly in her chest.
More painful than any sharp-tongued words were the simple words of remorse.
Without realizing it, she lost her grip on her sister’s hand.
The one who held her fleeting hand was her sister.
Even when it felt impossible to move a finger, she left warmth behind for her.
“I’m not in pain anymore… I can say it. I love you, sis. Thank you for being there for me… I never hated you.”
It was her last words. With those words, her sister stopped.
At that moment, so too did Yuserin’s mind.
She had never hated her.
Then, what about me, who felt relief at your death?
What about me, who couldn’t return your smile in your last moments…
While the medical staff came in to clean up, she didn’t move an inch while holding her sister’s hand.
It was only when the doctor shook her shoulders that the tears finally fell.
Her tears held loss, sorrow, and regret.
*
And years later,
the point when she was called ‘Elderin’ much more often than ‘Yuserin’.
A girl from a game found her.
– Hoo… Huh. Ahh… Haha…
Unsteady breathing.
It felt sadistic, maybe twisted, something was definitely off in that laughter.
And yet, the body that pressed in like a warm embrace.
From the girl who was choking her—Yuserin felt a sense of déjà vu.
For some reason, it all made sense.
The girl’s laughter was, in truth, a scream.