I Have a Reason to Hate Streamers

Our brains have something called neuroplasticity.

The brain’s nervous system isn’t fixed but reorganizes steadily in response to surrounding stimuli or environments.

So, I’ve heard that human nerves can flexibly modify their roles depending on the situation.

For example, if you lie face down and close your eyes, your body feels like its sight has been blocked.

The alternative to replace the lost sense pulls up other senses.

Like smell, hearing, and touch.

That’s exactly what I’m experiencing right now.

I’m lying on my stomach on the bed—essentially deprived of sight.

Right now, my sense of smell and touch are sharper than any moment before.

A subtle fragrance wafted up from the herbs laid out on the massage table.

Hmm, I don’t know what scent this is, but it’s really nice.

It’s not overly stimulating, yet it calms my mind.

It’s comforting. I’m really glad I followed Elderin here.

Anything is better than sobbing alone in a room where nobody is around.

Is this what they call aroma? Or is it herbs?

I’m not sure. I should’ve had at least a little connection to know.

If I asked Elderin, I bet I’d get an answer, but my mouth wouldn’t open easily.

Moreover, at first, the massage pressure wasn’t that intense.

Even though I was lying on the bed, it started lightly with just the palms.

I felt great, but there wasn’t anything special for my body to react to.

On the contrary, I was getting more and more drowsy, almost like I was about to sleep.

I thought I would have to chat with Yuserin during this time.

But I felt like if I spoke up, this comfort would break.

It seemed like both of us shared that sentiment, and the room was quiet, with my eyes closed, making me feel like I was alone.

Should I just sleep like this? But that feels a bit wasteful.

In a place like this, one should pursue their satisfaction to the fullest.

So, I know that saying “it’s a waste” and holding back is silly.

Yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d spent too much time without money.

It just didn’t sit well with me to sleep in this expensive place.

It didn’t take long for me to realize I was overthinking.

A warm towel was placed over my left leg.

And on the opposite side. On my right leg…

Huff.

It was probably oil.

There’s probably a fancy name for it, but it’s definitely a type of oil.

A subtle and nice-smelling oil was smeared on my body.

My formerly tense sense of touch trembled.

It began at the tip of my big toe.

The hands weaving between fingers began to caress my soles and the tops of my feet.

The flow moving up from my ankles to my calves had no hint of hesitation.

Why is it that a woman’s body is so sensitive in so many places?

Especially, mine feels surprisingly developed in that sense.

When oil was spread over my inner thigh below my buttocks, I practically had to grip the mattress and endure it.

The problem was that applying oil was just the preparatory stage of the massage.

Mountains beyond mountains. My skin was smoothly coated and ready to accept another’s touch.

Ugh. Hnn…

There was a subtle sweetness in my breath.

I distinctly remember it being quite cool before lying on the bed, but now it felt like warmth was radiating.

Ah, it’s coming to my back.

That’s… really troublesome.

From beneath my shoulder blades to the base of my neck.

That was a spot even my fingers couldn’t easily reach, which was particularly problematic.

Just a finger touching it made me feel all tingly.

I felt like my eyes would lose focus, so I opted to tightly shut them instead.

I kept losing and regaining strength while trying to reopen them.

My mouth gaped open like a fool, and suddenly, clear saliva dripped from the corner of my lips.

I realized it when somewhere on my cheek became wet.

Hah, ugh—hhhuuuhhh…

These sensations are definitely something I can’t endure.

My muscles jerked on their own, squirming.

My back twisted out of my control only to slowly relax back.

Did I look like I was in pain?

With a friendly expression, the masseuse handed me a little card.

– Are you in a lot of pain?

– If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll go easier on you.

No. It doesn’t seem to be that kind of problem.

Though I appreciated the consideration, a massive scar was left on my dignity.

Now, my complexion was turning bright red, and I responded with a “It’s okay.” as I buried my head again.

Heaven in hell.

The massage time seemed to go on forever.

*

When I first received guidance, it was written as 120 minutes.

It felt like an eternity and a fleeting moment at the same time.

The masseuse, finishing her work, said she would go get some tea and stepped outside.

I heard Serin beside me stirring up softly.

If I kept my current position, she would have a clear view of my back.

For some reason, that felt a bit embarrassing, so I decided to sit up as well.

“How was it? Was it okay?”

“Ah, yes.”

A voice that felt a bit sleepy.

By the time I wrapped a large towel around myself, I could see the marks left on my body.

Those were probably from the oil.

There were places with notably darker marks, but here…

No, it was nothing.

I wriggled and shifted to cover the marks with my body.

Fortunately, Elderin wasn’t looking my way, busy searching for a towel.

“This is a place I visit sometimes. There’s nothing better for relieving stress.”

“Really. It felt much better than I expected.”

I definitely felt refreshed.

Maybe it was because my tightened muscles were loosened, but even my body felt lighter.

I hadn’t done any intense activities since my leg got messed up.

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say my weekly rehabilitation was all I had.

And even that felt less burdensome since it was in the water.

To top it off, my body felt just soft no matter where it was touched.

I’d never really thought about muscle tightness or accumulated fatigue.

If I had known this would be the case, I might have experienced it sooner.

Maybe I should take more interest in myself.

If I found some leisure, I might come back to visit once in a while.

“How good was it that your voice…”

“Hik! Stop. You don’t have to say more.”

“Pfft. Alright, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear anything.”

All those thoughts I just had were canceled.

I had no intention of ever getting a massage again.

Maybe there’s a reason that in Korea, the image of massage has taken on such a strange reputation.

I can’t be the weird one. I can’t be disappointed in Elderin for bringing me here—even though this is a bit much.

It wasn’t easy to deceive myself.

Really, it was just my first time.

Originally, the more stimulation you accept, the more desensitized you become.

Since this was my first time experiencing such a thing, it was only natural to have an overreaction.

“From now on, just think well.”

“Yeah?”

“If you feel good, bad feelings will disappear. It’s better to start anything with a bright mindset if you want to plan the future, right?”

Now that I think about it, that’s true.

There were many embarrassing things, but anyway, the heavy gloom filling my mind had vanished.

Right now, I felt I could envision a much more positive future.

But isn’t that a bit too radical?

It’s like saying I forcibly reset my brain because I seemed like I might have dark thoughts.

The problem was that this worked much better than expected.

My heart, which had felt like it was punctured, felt a bit better.

Things were complicated, but at least I didn’t feel utterly abandoned by the world.

“Do you think I should be on broadcasts?”

“Huh? Well, I wouldn’t say I hope you do.”

“Oh? Really?”

Elderin was the one who had pushed me to start broadcasts the hardest.

I had rushed in, driven by the glowing image she was radiating.

Thinking back, I probably showed a lot of embarrassing moments back then.

Could it be that Elderin is my manufacturer of black history?

“I just wanted to show you that this road exists. I didn’t know it would go this far from the start.”

“……”

“But I do think that if Da-eun starts broadcasting, you’ll do well. You’ll definitely become successful. You’ve got a pretty face and a unique charm.”

“Even if you say that… uh, I’m not that easy of a person.”

“It’s precisely why I think you’ll do well.”

As Elderin giggled, the masseuse returned.

On a tray was tea with a strong aroma.

It smelled a bit spicy, with a sweet and bitter ginger tea.

It wasn’t a taste I particularly disliked, so I slowly wet my tongue with it.

“I still want to play games.”

“Yeah, I see. I hope you continue, Da-eun.”

“I don’t want to miss out on anything. I want to go pro and sometimes stream to receive love too.”

Without thinking about how.

My pure desire was just that.

Using a normal connection device was still impossible.

It felt like I was moving with a massive metal chunk on my feet.

It wasn’t something that could be solved merely by getting used to it or improving my skill.

Still, I had to fight.

Since when did I only battle easy opponents?

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