I Left the Non-virgin Party

A city for beginners, a liquor store in Rottern.

“alcohol.”

When I entered there, I threw a gold coin and spoke only one syllable. The clerk sighed, moved as if he was familiar with it, and piled up the sky-blue liquor. It’s a little lacking. I threw another gold coin and said.

“more.”

The same operation was repeated once more. The bottles were piled up to the point that they reached the ceiling. Just as I was about to put the bottle in my bag, the clerk spoke to me.

“Hey, that’s not what I’m talking about. Red mage, is it okay for me to live while drinking like this? I was worried.”

Isn’t it just about getting money?

“It is, but.”

When I tipped it, it became quiet. Filled with alcohol, I went back to my house sobbing. A cat was sitting on the stairs in the doorway, so I made an impression and ran away.

When I opened the door, there was no ventilation, and the musty smell of alcohol greeted me. In the dimly lit room, bottles of alcohol were piled up in geometric curves. like a tombstone

I sat casually in the corner and, likewise, casually took out a drink and started drinking. Pong, as soon as the plug was opened, the fragrant pine scent spread throughout the room. The shimmering liquid was a pale sapphire color.

I took a sip, stared blankly at the pale blue color, and fell asleep.

I knew what my dreams were going to be.

It was the dream I always dreamed of.

*

2 billion.

The number 2 billion was strangely related to me.

The first time I heard it, obviously, was when I was a child.

It was at the fishing ground my father and I always went to.

A coastal dock that was once a thriving port bustling with cargo ships and fishing boats, but is now being dismantled into serene ruins. The small embankment at the end of it was his father’s favorite fishing spot.

My father used to take me there as a kid to go camping, and cast a fishing rod all night long. it was so good I could play games that were forbidden at the ramen house next to the fishing rod, and my father made ramen for me.

But when all the fun was over, I always grabbed my father’s hem and cried out. It was a struggle to go home. Then my father would make a terrifying look on his face, grabbing the fish’s tail and waving it to scare him.

It is said that this one fish lays 70,000 eggs on this empty shore, and each of those 70,000 eggs lays 70,000 eggs. It is said that if it multiplies like that, the whole world will be filled with fish and will perish.

So when it’s appropriate, we should eat like this! Daddy’s doing something important!

My father said so as he gave me a chopstick of boiled ramen with fish caught.

The number of 2 billion came as a shock to me as a young child who thought that work was the biggest number at all. The number of 2 billion was far beyond the capacity of my world.

The image of life expanding like a tumor appeared as a regular in my childhood nightmare.

One fish grew to 2 billion, and each of those 2 billion fish multiplied to 2 billion, and I dreamed that the fish that swelled up to tens of times the volume of the earth swallowed all the seawater. The dry coast turned into a gray desert, and I dreamed that a huge pile of rotting fish weighed down the world as I was born with that terrifying reproductive lust that I couldn’t even control myself.

In a world full of only salty sandstorms, he suffocates and dies from the excess of life.

After that dream, I would get up with a deep breath and groan my neck as if searching for degenerated gills.

2 billion 4434 million.

The next 2 billion number came with money.

It was the amount of compensation for his father’s death.

My father, who was discharged from the hospital after receiving the final judgment, took me as a junior high school student to that pier in the coast.

The pier, which had been collapsing even when I was younger, had already completely collapsed by then, and I couldn’t even see the old ladies collecting shells from the mud.

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Not a single fish was caught until sunset.

In the twilight, only a glimmer of a squadron of water birds flying in long shadows could be seen.

The visibly emaciated father looked at the tumultuous line and said:

“sorry.”

“I’m sorry. My father is a hero.”

“Looking back, I’m just sorry for you, your sister, and your mother.”

It was something I didn’t want to hear. Soon the ramen was overcooked. I put the red broth in my father’s mouth and covered his mouth.

“sleep.”

“Thank you.”

2 billion people.

He said that the number of lives his father saved was that much.

My father worked at a nuclear power plant. He also frequented overseas business trips.

On the day of technology transfer to a certain country, an incident occurred.

During the power generation load test in a power supply loss situation, someone who was afraid of failing the test rushed the test.

In the process, he made a mistake in manipulating the fuel rod, which caused a huge accident.

As an outsider, I do not know the details of the situation.

All I knew was that his father was driven out because of him.

The core was slowly melting, breaking through the floor and falling into the abyss.

If it meets the cooling water stagnant underground, it will cause a hydrogen explosion and the entire nuclear power plant will go out of control.

It is said that drinking water for 2 billion people will become permanently undrinkable water of death.

For the lives of 2 billion people, someone had to make a sacrifice.

Someone had to dive into a coolant tank that had already become a well of death due to radioactive contamination, open the valve, and let coolant flow.

Only three people dispatched from Korea were able to perform the operation.

my father was someone

The father, wearing a hazmat suit, walked into a room that looked like a hangar.

There was a fork in the room.

One road led to an exit where the mission was abandoned, and the other led to a reservoir of coolant.

The worried father walked towards the water tank.

In exchange for saving 2 billion lives, what my father received was 2,44.34 million won and severe radiation damage.

He said it would be difficult to exceed 5 years.

“Well, how did it happen?”

In front of the mother who cried endlessly after hearing the diagnosis, the father smiled and said so.

I was proud of such a father.

But from the year before his death, his father’s laughter diminished.

It was because of my sister.

The younger sister, who heard the truth belatedly, could not bear it.

I used to cry, hurt myself, and locked myself in the closet, blankly like a broken doll.

“At that time, I should have just walked out that door. sorry.”

The change of his cute and innocent little sister changed the shape of his father’s heart.

He began to regret that he should have chosen his family instead of 2 billion lives.

I didn’t like it.

“No, my father is a hero. I didn’t do anything wrong. I am proud of my father.”

Dad smiled with his skinny cheeks.

“Thank you.”

“What.”

“I am so grateful to you, son, for raising me to be so mature and kind.”

He stroked his hair with his bare hands. Looking at the distant horizon, and cumulonimbus clouds rising vertically from the horizon, the father said.

“Without me, you are the head of the family, so please take good care of your brother.”

That was my father’s will.

The next day, my father closed his eyes as if he were truly enlightened.

The promises made by politicians to hold the funeral as a funeral were not kept.

Her father’s body, exhausted like that ruined dock, escaped from the cold mortuary, set on fire, and in a handful placed in a bronze jar.

As his father wished, the ashes were scattered in the same sea he always went to.

I took my father handfuls from the ashes and let the wind blow them away, until the sea turned from a deep blue bronze to a vermilion with the dawning, until the sunset swallowed it and it sank to a dark purple and the moonlight blew away.

The pier at midnight was immersed in pitch-black darkness.

Only the full moon, like the eyeballs of a dead fish, shed a hazy light.

In the darkness, I remembered the view of the room my father would have seen.

The radiation, which was strong enough to burn the film, rose in a flowing curve, creating an illusion.

At the fork in the room, on one side of the fork, there are me and my sister standing hand in hand,

On the other hand, there are 2 billion lives.

At 2 billion, it’s almost the world.

The father, who took a step towards us, is led by the world’s gravity and walks over there, then is crushed by its weight and sinks into darkness.

Only me and my brother are left in the empty room.

I try to smile, but my brother can’t.

If so, you can’t.

I promised to make this guy happy by 2 billion won.

My father was clearly, quite clearly, a hero.

I had no regrets.

I wanted to let my father die as a hero.

Father’s life, we who were abandoned in that room did not resent him and became happy,

It was only completed when he said goodbye with a smile.

Your father was a hero.

I wanted to be recognized by everyone.

at any cost.

“father… ”

Suddenly waking up from my sleep, I groaned softly. Then, he ruffled his hair and shook his head.

“I have failed.”

I was unbearably thirsty.

I need to drink more.

no

why not

“It’s all been cleared. Ugh, anyway, I can’t take my eyes off of you even for a moment.”

A woman’s voice was heard. Drunk and drunk, the voice was uncertain as if it were coming from within. My vision was blurry and I couldn’t tell who it was. I guessed though.

When I turned around, the bottles of liquor that had been piled up like tombstones were all laid out. As she slept, she opened the door and came in, and it seemed that the house was in a mess. Glancing at his chest, he felt like he had changed his clothes.

The delicious smell passed through his nose and irritated his hungry stomach. It looked like that woman had boiled something with a spicy broth. The woman trembled at Busan and said.

“I must have been hurt because I had been drinking like this. I don’t know what happened, but first get up and eat something. You have to eat anything to live.”

I don’t really want to live.

“Another useless fish farm. So, are you going to throw it away?”

throw away.

“Really, there is such a thing as a cute taste.”

The woman took a deep breath and put the spoon in her mouth as if she were a baby. He closed his mouth, but he couldn’t hold it and swallowed it. A salty red broth ran down his throat.

“Now, what did you say when you eat food that someone else made?”

“Thank you.”

I couldn’t stand it any longer. I sighed, got up from my seat, and washed my face with water. As the cold water touched my skin, I regained my consciousness a little.

As expected, it was that woman who was sitting at the table and smiling.