I Tried To Be Her Loyal Sword

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32 Chapter

“The young lady’s condition has stabilized to a certain extent. Though her energy absorption rate is quite fast, after a short nap, she should be fine for daily activities. Still, it would be wise for her to rest fully for about a week afterward.”

The physician who measured Aria’s pulse spoke with a cheerful expression.

I lay on the clean bed, watching Aria exhale evenly, and I let out a rough breath.

‘It’s over.’

The calamity that had haunted my life had finally reached its end. The agonizing moments, long and torturous, had come to an unexpectedly easy conclusion thanks to the power of the Duke’s Mansion. I felt an odd mix of relief and joy at this realization.

‘It’s a strange feeling.’

A helpless laugh escaped my lips. I was excessively happy, overwhelmed with sadness, and painfully bitter all at once. So many emotions surged inside me that it felt like I was numb to them.

As I relaxed, my tension dissipated, and I wobbled slightly; a big hand that landed on my shoulder steadied me.

“Is one dose really enough?”

“Yes. At least for the next five years, she won’t be troubled by lack of energy.”

Caesar insisted that I could not go on looking so disheveled and told me to get treated immediately, but I couldn’t sleep until I saw Aria coming back to herself. I was overwhelmed by a torrent of emotions as I watched her finally absorb energy for the first time since birth.

‘Aria.’

My little world.

I moved my unsteady feet to kneel beside Aria.

With great care, I lifted my torn and blood-soaked hand and gently brushed the clean skin of Aria’s pale cheek, which, despite being stark white, still radiated the warmth of life.

“……You’re alive.”

I resisted the urge to shout out the words I had swallowed down like a sigh, fearing they might turn to vapor and become a lie. Even though the situation appeared unreal enough to be a dream, the warmth beneath my fingertips snapped me back to a painful reality, and tears spilled over.

“….Thank goodness….”

I kissed the back of Aria’s hand while stifling my sobs. Finally. The wish I had lifelong dreamed of had come true. With silence surrounding us, I had no reason to care about anything else. With trembling hands that would not stop crying, I held onto Aria’s pale hand.

A torrent of emotions flooded me that I could hardly articulate.

It might have been boring for Caesar, Taylor, and the physician to watch me, silently waiting until I could collect my thoughts, but they stuck around for what felt like a very long time. It was only when I became dizzy from crying so much that Caesar finally approached me from behind.

“You’ll exhaust yourself like this. Do you need more time?”

Bending down, he took the long belt of his bathrobe and gently wiped my tear-streaked face. His touch was so tender that I was momentarily lost in it, but then I realized he was still just in his bathrobe and snapped back to reality.

“I’m s-sorry. I’m fine now.”

Wiping my tears with the back of my hand, I pushed myself up from my knees, but just as I did, a wave of dizziness hit me, and my body swayed.

“Careful.”

A large hand supported my back. Caesar’s expression remained calm as I felt utterly embarrassed thinking I was presenting myself in a way unbefitting a Sword Master. I quickly tried to steady myself, faired little, and wobbled again, the strength just not coming to my limbs.

“Ts.”

Caesar clicked his tongue slowly, and then lightly picked me up, sitting me on his arm.

“I-I can walk by myself!”

My blood and dirt smeared all over his white robe as I panicked, flailing.

“Right, you’ll collapse on the way.”

I was left speechless, biting my lip. The truth was, I was so exhausted that even keeping myself upright felt like an uphill battle. I found myself having crazy thoughts about clinging to him instead of trying to walk.

“Taylor. Tell Maria to prepare my room for guests within five minutes and fill the bath in the bathroom. Paul, bring the ointment for bruises.”

“Yes, my lord.”

“Understood.”

Having exhausted all my energy and giving in, as I relaxed against him, Caesar smiled satisfyingly and gave orders to the two. Taylor quickly strode out of the room, while Physician Paul rummaged through the cabinets and handed an ointment to Caesar.

“Then let’s go.”

Recognizing my slumped state of exhaustion, Caesar moved his feet. I let him carry me out of the room obediently.

The dark Duke’s Mansion glimmered strangely. It held a majestic yet ominous atmosphere. As we crossed the dimly lit hall, a comfortable silence enveloped Caesar and me. Feeling his warmth through our touching skin, I barely managed to hold open my sleepy eyelids.

“Go wash and then sleep.”

As I struggled to keep my eyes open, Caesar looked down at me and gently placed his hand on my head, stroking me. His long fingers tangled in my dirt-streaked dark hair. I jolted back to attention and nodded hurriedly.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Kashmir. I am Maria, your attendant.”

A middle-aged woman stood at the door, bowing respectfully. Still dazed, I looked up at Caesar for a cue, but he had a slight frown as he let me down. I stumbled slightly before approaching Maria.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Kashmir, and I owe you a debt of gratitude.”

I bowed politely, and a stillness fell in the air around us.

“……Miss, please feel free to speak comfortably. I am your servant.”

“Um, I prefer it this way.”

As I scratched my cheek nervously, Maria looked a bit flustered, beads of sweat forming on her forehead. Caesar, standing behind me, sighed lightly.

“Kashmir Crisis.”

The name that slipped from Caesar’s lips felt unfamiliar. I stiffened for a moment, then turned to him only to find him crossing his arms and staring at me.

“You aren’t indebted here. This place is yours.”

His monotonous voice felt surreal. Not knowing how to respond, I froze in place until Caesar let out another deep sigh and personally opened the door for me.

“I’ll make you feel it soon enough. But for today, it’s better if you just rest. You look excessively tired.”

His words were indeed true. I felt so detached it was hard to discern what reality even was. When I glanced up at him blankly, he gave me a faint smile that felt calm yet inviting.

“Your room is right next to mine, so if anything happens, come find me right away.”

Sleep well.

Each sweet word behind his indifferent tone made it almost unbearable for my heart. It felt ticklish in my chest. As I floated in that sweetness, he turned his back to me and entered the next room.

‘Can I… ever repay this kindness?’

Suddenly, the rising question made my shoulders feel as heavy as if I were burdened with a great weight. I had no idea how to repay such merciless kindness, nor how to respond to it.

“Miss.”

A gentle voice called me as I sank my lips together and lowered my head. Maria approached with a soft smile.

“You must have many thoughts swirling in your mind. You’re bound to have concerns and burdens. But, this old woman would like to say just one thing, even at the risk of being impolite.”

Gently taking my hand, Maria smiled softly.

“It’s only natural for a father to care for and nurture his child.”

Such basic truths had always drifted away from my life. For my entire eighteen years, there had been no father who cared for me, so it would likely take me a long time to grasp what Maria meant.

“……I see.”

Yet I nodded anyway because deep down, I wanted to believe, just once.

I wished I had a father.

*

“Please remove your clothes.”

Maria said as she led me to a bathtub filled with all sorts of bubbles and bath additives, standing awkwardly in front of me.

‘This is a bit embarrassing.’

Feeling awkward, I fumbled nervously, undoing two buttons of my shirt at Maria’s urging gaze.

‘Ah.’

I stopped at the third button as my skin began to show through the opening. My face twisted in discomfort. Avoiding Maria’s expectant eyes, I hurriedly pulled my shirt together and mumbled.

“Can’t I just wash myself?”

“It’s standard for a noble young lady to receive bathing assistance. Don’t be ashamed, Miss.”

Assuming I was merely shy, Maria encouraged me with her gentle smile. I pressed my lips together.

‘It was necessary to allow Deedee to treat my wounds, but…’

Back then, it was such an urgent situation that there hadn’t been any time to hesitate, but now, it felt strange having someone else handle my body when it was not an emergency. With my hand over my button, I hesitated.

‘…it’s too embarrassing.’

Having lived my entire life as a mercenary, my body was one that had fought against monsters with nothing but a sword, devoid of any refinement.

‘What if they find me disgusting?’

Though I had no regrets about my life, the thought of exposing my battered body to the people of the Duke’s Mansion was indeed unwelcome. I wanted to look good to them. I had no way of dealing with my self-esteem sinking beneath the abyss.

“If you’re too shy, shall I help you undress?”

Seeing Maria approaching with a bewildered expression, I hurriedly shook my head.

“……No. I’ll do it myself.”

‘Right. It’s not a big deal… Maria should finish up and rest quickly. I must have interrupted her sleep.’

Not wanting to appear to show off for no reason, I scolded myself and pressed the button through the spacious gap.

Click.

With the buttons undone, my filthy shirt fell to the floor, revealing a body that resembled a butchered lump of meat.

Under the relentless attacks of monsters, there is no safe place. Though I had desperately tried to keep my face safe from injury due to Aria’s worries, the rest of me was a mess of wounds and scars.

Those who work office jobs develop calluses from holding pens, while laborers develop rough hands. The human body retains the life it has lived.

What were once fatal wounds threatening my life long ago, now only left behind enormous scars that had subdued me. Small scars cling to my body like insects. Sporadic patches of skin tissue damaged by toxins, along with prominent veins showing through. Calluses were dotted all over my body.

My body carried the story of my life. This broken body was the life of the mercenary, Mir.

Crash!

The ointment Maria had been holding shattered into pieces with a rough sound. Maria’s eyes widened. Her lips trembled slightly.

“Ah…”

Maria covered her mouth. Her dilated pupils revealed how shocked she was. I felt unbearably embarrassed as her gaze scoured my body, heat rushing to my skin.

“I-I don’t need a bath! My body, it’s too disgusting. I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to scare you, but I…”

I desperately sought to calm my burning cheeks while hurriedly picking up my shirt to cover myself. My hands slipped continually as I fumbled with the buttons.

“No, no, Miss. It’s not disgusting.”

Maria rushed forward and firmly grasped my hands. I couldn’t raise my gaze to meet hers, focusing instead on the tiled floor, until finally, I dared to lift my eyes to hers.

“Uh…”

At meeting Maria’s eyes, my expression stilled in shock.

Maria was crying.